Becker s04e20 Episode Script

Piece Talks

1 (moaning) Reg Oh, my god, what is that smell? Bad cheese, wilted lettuce, and spoiled meat.
Well, don't tell us the recipe-- surprise us.
I'm not cooking.
My freezer broke down.
Everything's ruined.
Frozen hamburger, frozen chicken, frozen salad.
It's been rotting all weekend.
I can't sell that now Can I? As a customer, I say no.
As, as a doctor who needs the business, I say go for it.
Let's see-- my eyes are watering, My throat's burning, And I have a mild sense of nausea.
French toast? I'm not cooking.
My freezer broke down.
That's the smell of rotten food.
I've had your french toast, reg.
It was an honest mistake.
The repair man said it's shot And it will cost almost $8,000 to replace it.
Bob: Well, you're in luck, reg.
Bob knows a guy who can get you a freezer cheap.
Yeah, just don't be standing Behind the truck when it falls off.
Hey, wait a minute, is this the same guy That sold me a case of two musketeers bars? Bob: Look, bob knows a guy Who supplies freezers to the whole east coast.
I mean, you'll get it for below what my guy gets it From guys who sell it to other guys Who wish they were guys who knew guys like my guy.
What guy? Trust me, she'll get a deal.
What kind of deal? Reg, it's bob.
I'd be careful.
What am I gonna do? I can't run this business without a freezer.
Wait a minute, your stove still works, doesn't it? You don't understand.
I don't really cook so much as I defrost and reheat.
I can't afford a new freezer.
I might as well shut this place down.
Someone could say that would be a shame.
(all muttering) So, reggie's is closed.
Where do you want to go for lunch? Anywhere you want to go is fine with me.
Okay, um, why don't we order in italian? I don't speak italian.
No, I meant we would order italian food.
Nah, too many carbs.
Uh, deli? Nah, too much protein.
Seafood? Nah, it doesn't travel.
But I can pick anywhere I want? Sure, I'm up for anything.
John, where shall we order lunch from? Anyplace is fine with me.
Okay, then I'm ordering chinese.
Nah, I had chinese for breakfast.
And I had it last night for dinner.
In china, they have it for every meal.
Oh, hi, mrs.
Bennett.
Uh, I don't have you down for an appointment.
Is there a problem? No, I was just wondering If I could talk to dr.
Becker.
Sure, come on back.
No, john, wait, we still didn't decide What we're going to do for lunch.
Well, just, anything's fine, come on.
Oh, john, come on, please, Pick someplace.
All right, all right, all right, all right.
Mrs.
Bennett, where are your people from? Michigan.
Perfect-- we'll have tacos.
There you go.
Uh, please, what can I do for you? You know those antidepressant pills you gave my husband? Yeah, yeah, they're working great, aren't they? I mean, he's happy, vibrant, full of energy.
I want you to take them away.
He's running around As if he were 20 years old.
Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? In the yard with a rake and some leaves, It's a good thing, but in the house, He wants me sexually all the time.
Uh Like yesterday.
He brought home one of those Peekaboo nighties for me to wear.
You know, the kind that doesn't have any Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Mrs.
Bennett, there's no need for pictures.
Look, thi-this is not uncommon.
Uh, sometimes when a clinical depression lifts, The patient regains his sex drive, Even someone your husband's age.
Don't you have a pill that would make him want to dust? Um I-I take it the feelings aren't mutual.
Well, don't get me wrong.
Howard and I have been around the block.
In our day we went all around town.
We even went To jersey once or twice If you get my meaning.
I'm desperately trying not to.
It's gotten so bad That if I drop a fork on the floor, I kick it away So I don't have to pick it up in front of him.
Every time I bend over (stammers) What did I say about pictures, really? Well, can't you give him something to calm him down? What do they do to horses? I-I don't think he'd like that.
Then take away the pills, please.
No, I ca-- I can't do that, mrs.
Bennett, but I He's coming in this afternoon for a follow-up.
I'll tell you what, I'll talk to him then.
Oh, thank you.
I don't like bringing this up, But imagine yourself in my position.
Pictures, please Taco ben's? Nah.
Taco bill's? Nah.
Taco bob's? Nah.
I'm sorry, doctor.
50 years ago, I'd have been flattered To have a man chasing me, but not now.
I understand, But give me a chance.
Maybe I can find a way to make this work.
Sure, he says don't date the patients Till he sees one he wants.
Here you go.
Wait, what are you taking? A post.
What, are you blind? Whoa, a blind guy.
With a newsstand.
I thought that only happened in old movies.
Yeah, this is my little tribute to hollywood.
Good one.
It isn't just your hair that's funny.
Hey, uh, toots.
I'm looking for reggie kostas.
Can you tell him I'm here? I'm reggie kostas.
Really? I was expecting some old greek With a bad accent and a wart on his nose.
That was my father.
Well, you're very blessed, sweetheart.
Usually greek women are very hairy, But you're young, there's still time.
Just who the hell do you think you are? Lenny! Bobby! (laughing) Hey, nice hair plugs.
Before you know it, You'll have enough for a comb-over.
Thank you very much.
Hey, you know who was asking about you? Who? Nobody.
(both laughing) You get me With that one every time.
I should have guessed he was a friend of yours.
Hey, do you know who this is? Lenny's the top appliance guy in the tristate area.
He's your guy? Leonard nagle.
I don't usually come down to the slums to do business, But bob said you needed help.
Lucky for you, huh, zorba? What did you say? I said, "lucky for you," as in "today is your lucky day.
" You play your cards right, you might get lucky tonight, too.
All right, that's it, get out.
Len, wait.
Reg, can I talk to you down here for a second? Why are you talking to him like that? He's going To give you a great deal.
I don't care, he's an ass.
Well, you don't got to marry him.
You just got to buy a freezer.
Don't you know some other guy? There is no other guy.
Lenny's the guy.
Other guys wish they knew guys Who knew guys like lenny knows guys.
Oh, shut up.
Look, leonard, I appreciate that you're slumming, But there's no way in hell this is going to work out.
Hey, you seem a little uptight.
You know what you need, sweetheart? Get out.
A new freezer.
I would suggest a norseman 8000.
26 cubic feet, auto moisture control, Self-cleaning condenser, Five-year warranty, but if you want to pay full price Just because I offended Your delicate sensibilities, fine.
I hope you and the blind guy sell a lot of chiclets.
Okay, wait a minute.
What price exactly are you? Oh, my god, you are the guy.
I love it when women say that.
Next time try it with your shirt off.
You're wasting your time with this, sweetheart.
My blood pressure went through the roof The second you walked in the door.
Mr.
Bennett, you're such a tease.
No, I'm serious.
Why don't we run away together? We can even bring my wife.
Believe me, she won't get in the way.
Mr.
Bennett, how you feeling? Ah, great.
Linda and I are going away together.
I tried to resist, but I couldn't.
Do something about him.
Ah, I see your test results look good.
Not having any adverse reaction to the antidepressant? Uh-uh.
Appetite back? Oh, yeah.
Sleeping well? Like a baby.
Your sex drive? I want to thank you for that.
It's like meeting a friend you haven't seen for 20 years.
Yeah, speaking of which, Your wife was in here to talk to me.
She came to talk to you? Why? Well, let's just say she doesn't share Your newfound enthusiasm for sex.
Look, I thought my sex life was over, But since I'm on this medication, I feel vital, and frankly I don't think a couple of times a month is too much to ask.
Well, a couple times a month? That's all we're talking about here? How often do you have sex, big shot? It just so happens, you know, I work late.
It's hard for me to m You know something? We're not talking about me.
I don't know what to do.
She wasn't always like this.
Well, maybe the two of you should talk to a therapist.
Talk to a stranger? That doesn't feel right.
Why can't we talk to you? You see, it's not my area of expertise.
Oh, look, you've been our doctor for years.
She trusts you, I trust you.
Then trust me, I don't want to do this.
What, do I have to beg? I'm doing enough of that already.
All right, all right, all right.
Oh, great, when do we do this, now? I can get her over here right now.
Just keep your pants on.
As a matter of fact, until we all get together, Consider that my prescription.
Man, you're not going to believe this.
I have to play sex therapist to a couple of 80-year-olds.
The bennetts? Oh, I think that's sweet.
We should all be so lucky to be in our 80s And still have an active sex life.
In a long marriage, the trick is to keep it interesting.
For instance, the other night, louis and I, we tried Pictures, margaret, pictures.
You wish.
Good morning, jake.
Depends.
Is leonard here? No, thank god.
Oh, good, 'cause I can't go through another day like yesterday.
At least he wasn't hitting on you.
No, but he was sprinkling salt all over my braille book.
I didn't know what the hell I was reading.
Well, he promises me I'll have my freezer by tomorrow.
So what you're saying is, we can't kill him.
Not till I get my freezer.
Then we'll have a place to hide the body.
Good morning.
It's a bright and sunny day out there.
Too bad they're all dark and cloudy for you, huh? Hello, sweet cakes.
You know, as much as we enjoy spending time with you, leonard, There must be things that are so much more important For you to be doing back at your office.
This is my office.
It's a wireless world.
Hey, I'm going to give you my private number.
You can keep it by your bed In case you wake up some night and find you need me.
You know what I need from you? I need for you to take that phone and Reggie, freezer.
Show it to me Because I want to get one just like it.
You can call me anytime.
Hey, speaking of calls, I think I'm getting one from the downtown office.
Hey, jake, I'm taking a times for the can.
I don't, don't need details.
Just leave the money.
I'm just borrowing it.
I'm gonna bring it back.
I don't want it back.
Lenny! Bobby! Kill me.
You have to excuse me, bob.
Call from the downtown office? No, I'm going to the can.
(laughing) You guys are so lucky-- you get to hang out with lenny all day.
You know what? I don't care how much money he's saving me.
I can't take it anymore.
I'm throwing him out.
What? No, reg, you can't.
This freezer's important for both of us.
If you don't have it, you don't serve food.
You don't serve food, then I don't sell tums.
So I don't care how rude he is, how bad he hits on you.
Whatever he wants, just, just take one for the team.
That is easy for you to say.
You haven't seen him.
Well, he can't look worse than his breath.
Bob: Wait a second, I-I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Lenny's a great guy.
He's going to get you an incredible deal.
And what do you care? Oh, wait a minute.
Are you getting a cut out of this? Bob is hurt.
I do this out of the goodness of my heart.
How much? Five percent.
Hey, reg.
Did you get that freezer yet? Not yet.
Well, I probably shouldn't smoke on an empty stomach.
Let me have have some coffee to go.
False alarm.
Usually I say no news is good news, But not in this case.
(laughs) Who's this? You don't want to know.
Yeah, you're right.
Besides, I have patients waiting for me.
Hey, you're a doctor, great.
Do you have anything that grows hair? You can always use whatever you're spraying in your ears.
Oh, john, The bennetts are waiting for you in your office.
Oh, right, my little talk about sex over 80.
That could be very dangerous.
You could lose control of the car.
80 years old, linda.
Ew, how'd you like to pull up next to that car? No, linda, I Yeah, that would be bad.
Oh, by the way, john, We decided to have pizza for lunch.
Oh, great, I love pizza.
What do you want on it? Oh, anything's fine with me.
You two pick.
How about mushrooms? I love mushrooms.
Oh, anything but mushrooms.
Order the pizza.
But he said Order the damn pizza.
Oh.
Mr.
Bennett, mrs.
Bennett.
Hello, doctor.
Hi, doc, you're looking good.
How are you? Thank you.
Well, I guess we know why we're here.
You two have been together a long time.
Needless to say, you're pretty set in your ways, And then along comes life And throws you this unexpected curve.
Which I think is all the more reason To, to talk to each other, you know, And get everything out in the open, right? Right.
Okay, all better, then? Did you understand a thing he said? Not a word.
Look, y-you're going to have to help me out here.
That's what I keep telling her.
Howard, please.
Howard: Look, What am I supposed to do? I walk by the bathroom, I look in, She's in there in her slip rubbing bengay on her knee, I get hot.
Where was all this energy 60 years ago When I wanted to go backpacking through europe? 60 years ago, the nazis were backpacking through europe.
Let's just try to stay on topic, all right? We're here to talk openly and honestly about your sex life.
The way I understand it, you want sex all the time And you, not so much.
Not at all.
I never said that.
I, I just want to be able to vacuum without surprises.
You used to give me flowers and take me dancing.
Now, see, there you go, see, I think what your wife wants Is just a little more romance.
Oh, thank you, doctor.
All you I ever hear you say is "I want you.
" Just once I'd like to hear you say "I love you.
" You don't know I love you? Harriet, I've loved you from the first moment I saw you.
In fact, that first day I fell in love with you three times: When I saw you walking toward me, when we spoke, And when I watched you walk away.
That feeling has never changed, And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel it did.
Oh, howard, that's so sweet.
Yeah, really, howard.
Let's go home.
I'd love that.
Oh.
(chuckles) Here we go.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you so much, doctor.
Oh, you're welcome.
Thank you.
My pleasure.
I'm glad, I'm glad I could help.
Chicks.
You got to tell them what they want to hear.
Good news, gorgeous.
Guess what I have for you.
I'm really afraid to answer that question.
Don't be.
It's your new freezer.
Bob: Huh, what'd I tell you? Is he the guy or is he the guy? I said I was going to get her a freezer, I got her a freezer.
When I do business, It's on the up-and-up.
Okay, who do I write the check to? An offshore bank in the cayman islands.
We'll discuss it over dinner.
Dinner? Well, come on, sweetheart, you didn't think the price you got Was out of the goodness of my heart, did you? What are you talking about? I'm talking about you and me, you know.
That was always part of the deal.
Bob? I swear, reg, he never said anything about this.
I don't care who said what, I'm not going out with him.
Then you're not getting your freezer.
Hey, look, lenny.
I kid around as much as the next guy, but What are you doing here? Stay out of this, bob.
I'm working here.
Lenny, she's a friend of mine.
And I'm trying to make her a friend of mine.
Look, lenny, you're way over the line here.
You can't treat her like that.
Back off, bob, I'm making my play here.
Look, lenny, I'm serious.
You're kidding me.
No, I'm not, and if you keep this up, I'm gonna call the better business bureau.
Don't make me laugh.
I'll call your wife.
Doesn't scare me.
I'll call your mother.
So where do you want that freezer? Bring it around the back! What the hell? I took a shot.
Sorry about that, reg.
I didn't know.
I believe you.
I really appreciate you stepping in like that.
Glad to help.
Do me a favor, would you? If anybody asks, Could he have been a lot bigger and could I have hit him? Absolutely.
You kicked his ass.
Thanks, reg.
Hi, reg.
Word on the street is you're back in business.
Yeah, I guess so.
Don't seem too excited about it.
Well, why should I be? I almost prostituted myself for a major appliance.
At least you didn't have to play sex therapist To a couple of 80-year-olds.
Do I want to hear about this? I sure as hell didn't.
You know, it just doesn't seem fair.
When other people work hard, they seem to get ahead.
And look at what I had to go through Just to end up exactly right back where I started.
I know what you mean.
I mean, I don't like to complain, But I never thought life would be this tough.
I did.
Ever since I was a kid.
Once when I was seven, I was playing hide-and-go-seek with some friends.
It was my turn to hide, I crawled into this hollow tree on my neighbor's yard.
Best place ever.
Nobody looked for you, did they? No, and they took my bike, too.