Black-ish (2014) s05e14 Episode Script

Black History Month

1 DRE: For the month of February, America celebrates Black History Month with low interest rates and no overdraft fees.
Companies run ads dedicated to us.
It's great while it lasts, but come the end of February, it is over.
How was school? A squirrel got into the gym, so I'd say pretty good.
Mm.
Baby girl.
What are you doing? Oh, well, Black History Month is pretty much over, so Ms.
Davis sent all our projects home.
See you next year, Harriet.
What the hell?! Hey! You cannot toss Harriet Tubman in the trash! Why not? Damn it, Jack! What are you doing?! Dad Dad, it's fine! It's not Harriet Tubman.
It's Frederick Douglass.
I believe what your dad is trying to say is that you shouldn't be throwing these away at all.
Ohhh! I get it.
So So we can use them next year when we do the same reports again.
That's why you're the dad.
What do you mean, the same reports? Does everyone just do Frederick Douglass and Harriet Tubman every year? Yeah.
Well, mostly everyone.
Joshua Miller was supposed to do George Washington Carver, but he has a horrible peanut allergy, so he switched back to Harriet.
Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh-mnh.
Can you believe this? No, I can't.
Joshua Miller he gets so much special treatment.
Drives me nuts.
No! I mean, this is the same sort of crap they did when I went to school.
The reason I went to Howard University was to get the full picture of Black history.
I get it.
You know, I hoped that 30 years would've made a difference, but, babe, our children are getting the same surface education.
I know.
I know.
It is frustrating.
But, Dre, I mean [Sighs] Black History Month is almost over.
There's only two more days.
What are you gonna do? [Sighs] You gonna go down there and make a scene? - [Door bangs] - Aah! [Gasps] Davis! Mr.
Johnson.
You are supposed to email me before you come in.
We had a deal.
Yeah, and I thought we had a deal I pay you, you educate my children.
But after hearing about your Black History Month lesson, you owe me a lot of change.
I tried so hard this year.
We studied Harriet Tubman, Dr.
King, Frederick Douglass, and George Washington Carver.
But you didn't have to stop there.
All right, there are a million people that you could have kept talking about.
Hell, if you had just picked one person that Chadwick Boseman played, I would not be yelling at you, despite our agreement which I never signed, by the way.
Well, tomorrow is our "Farewell to Black History Month" assembly.
Now, I was going to show the PG parts of "Get Out," but, hey, since you know so much about this stuff, maybe you could come in and teach the students about one more Black person they should know.
Ohhh, would you like me to do that for you? [Exhales sharply] I'd be so relieved if you took it off my plate.
No! Do your job, Davis! Mr.
Johnson.
You're supposed to email before you come.
We had a deal.
Which I never signed.
But I was just leaving.
W Maybe you could point me in the direction of a good Black person? Okay, let's unpack what you just said.
What? You did a racism.
Again? [Exhales sharply] Uh-oh.
- [Sighs heavily] - Okay, Dre, what's wrong? My kids' teacher asked me to choose a new person to talk about for Black History Month.
Once again, the Black man has to educate White people.
[Scoffs] Tell me about it.
Most of them don't even know that Harriet Tubman invented the tub.
That's why most Home Depot employees look so confused when you ask to see the Harriets.
Know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about, right? - No.
- No.
- No, I don't.
- No.
You know what? So, I told her, "No.
It's your job, not mine.
" Good choice, Dre.
Besides, the only thing you need to know about Black History Month are the top four, right? Tubman, Carver, King, Sinbad.
Sinbad's not on that list.
Well, he should be, okay? 'Cause he would lighten it up.
Huh? You ever heard his routine about riding the bus? [Laughing] It's hysterical.
Mr.
Stevens has a point.
Black History Month is kind of a bummer.
It's all slavery and people getting blasted by fire hoses.
Which is actually why we gave you the shortest month.
Nobody "gave" us the shortest month.
In the 1920s, a Black historian by the name of Carter G.
Woodson chose February because it coincided with Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass' birthday.
The original focus of Black History Month was not slavery or civil rights, all right? It was created to illustrate our contribution to American life and celebrate Black excellence.
Well, hearing that actually kind of makes me want to know more about Black history.
Like double-dutch.
What is the deal with that? Counterpoint most people don't want to learn more than they have to, right? I mean, let's be honest.
You're lucky I know about the top four.
And, yes, I'm keeping Sinbad in there.
He's a genius.
I just seen him recently, too.
- Sinbad? - At the dollar store.
Ballin'.
Listening to all the ignorance in the room, I realized it was my job to educate that school.
No one else was going to dig below the surface to bring Black history to life.
No more candy machines.
Finally, you're back.
Hey, Junior, Mom, come on in here! Gather 'round! I got something that is going to blow your minds! Oh, my God.
Yep, come on.
I've been poring over books and the Internet all day, and I have come up with the perfect person to present to Valley Glen tomorrow.
It's going to be Drumroll, please.
Ah! Lewis Latimer! Isn't he a free safety for the Eagles? No! Okay, you know what? I'm gonna tell you all about Lewis Howard Latimer.
Lewis Howard Latimer was born in 1848, the child of runaway slaves.
He earned multiple patents, including one for the carbon filament which paved the way for our modern lightbulb.
And that's a Black person you should know.
[Gospel organ music plays] Wait a minute.
So you're coming in with a lightbulb guy who died a hundred years ago? - Pass.
- But he's an inspiration.
To who? - Okay, okay, okay, guys.
- "To who"?! Your dad obviously worked very hard on this, and he's excited.
- Thank you, Bow.
- Mm-hmm.
Look, I researched this all day, and I am confident that I have But I think that if we all put our heads together, we could come up with someone amazing.
Mae Jemison! W.
E.
B.
Du Bois.
Aretha! Ahh, Ta-Nehisi Coates.
- Chance the Rapper! - Beyoncé.
- Jackie Robinson.
- Spike Lee.
- Alvin Ailey.
- Mahalia Jackson.
- Serena and Venus.
- Black Panther! But I've already picked my guy! You know who would be really good? - Who? - James Baldwin.
- That's really good.
- Yeah! Or Or Jay-Z or Kendrick Lamar Okay, okay, no! Stop naming names! You know what? I am calling a family meeting! Um we are all here already.
But no one is listening to me.
I have one shot tomorrow to prove to that school that we are more than those stock images that they see once a year, by introducing them to an unsung Black hero Lewis Howard Latimer! Why can't you take a look at people who are making an impact on Black life and culture right now? Yes.
Ooh.
I have someone super exciting to pitch you.
Don't say "LeBron.
" Okay.
[Scoffs] It's LeBron.
LeBron James is the greatest basketball player of all time, with three NBA titles, four MVPs, and fourteen trips to the All-Star game.
He's even more amazing off the court raising money for charity, standing up to bigots, and opening a public school for struggling kids.
And that's a Black person you should know.
Seriously, he's good people.
[Gospel organ music plays] I mean, your guy Latimer's okay, but he was never down 3-1 to the Warriors.
Down 3-1?! Son, Latimer fought in the Civil War! The South was easier to beat than the Warriors.
Look, LeBron is LeBron, but Black History Month is about teaching the classics so that White people can eat peanut butter and say, "Thank you, Black man.
" [Laughs] "Thank you, Black man.
" - I actually have a suggestion.
- What is it? Don't embarrass us in front of our whole school! Embarrass you how? Come on! Diane! We get to shine the light on Black political pioneers.
[Gasps] Like Shirley Chisholm.
Or Black sexiness pioneers, like Denzel Washington.
- Oh, my God.
- [Laughter] [Laughs loudly] No, Mama, I've done my research.
- "Research.
" - Yes.
So you've researched 400 years of Black excellence, and you came up with a man? [Gasps] That's shocking.
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.
Did you look at DeRay Mckesson? [Scoffs] Of course I looked at DeR DeRay Mckesson.
DeRay Mckesson.
DeRay Mckesson And that's a Black person you should know? [Gospel organ music plays] [Groans] Oh, God.
- Oh, my God.
- What's wrong, baby? Ain't nothing wrong with him.
Ooh, I got the bubble guts out of nowhere.
You didn't even eat today! Yes, I did! [Groaning] Dre [Indistinct talking] [Chuckles] I got you now, DeRay.
- [Thud] - I Are you watching TV? [Chuckling] Uh, no, no, baby.
That was just my stomach.
Uhh a-a little mystery, Bow! Dre, you're [Groans] Open the door.
Open Open Open the door, please! Seriously, Dre? Did you come up here to look up DeRay Mckesson? You can't even tell Junior he came up with someone you didn't know? No, I cannot.
I hate it when the kids know more than I do.
So you go downstairs and you tell your son that he needs to be more respectful to his patriarch! I will do no such thing! You should listen.
Maybe you'll learn something.
Do you even know me? You know what? You're right, Dre.
It's definitely more productive for you to sit on a toilet and watch videos of DeRay Mckesson so that you can win an argument with a child.
- Thank you.
- Mm.
While you're at it, why don't you look up Patrisse Cullors, Opal Tometi, and Alicia Garza.
Couple women, huh? Three of 'em.
Mm-hmm.
My, uh My hands are kind of full right now, Bow.
- Happy Black History Month.
- Yeah.
[Clicks tongue] Power to the people.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How crazy is it that every person they came up with is a man? Okay? - Psht.
- Are you surprised? No, look, I think they were all really good suggestions, but we all know that the real unsung heroes of Black history are women.
Got that right! Like Joycelyn Elders.
Joycelyn Elders became the first Black Surgeon General in 1993.
She used her position to talk about sex education and drug addiction in a way that cut through sound bites and addressed people's real lives.
Okay, now.
And that's a Black person you should know.
[Gospel organ music plays] I thought you said "unsung.
" Mm-hmm.
- Like me! - Oh, my God.
Rubilene Johnson, mother of Black America! - Okay.
- [Chuckles] Ruby, last week, you wouldn't even let me use your Costco card.
The mother of Black America doesn't participate in fraud, Rainbow.
- [Both laugh] - Okay.
That's right.
- Diane.
- Mm-hmm? Who is your Black she-ro? It's actually Miss Biggs.
Shirlette Biggs is the first Black principal of Valley Glen Prep.
When she talks, people listen.
And she has a contraband drawer that's the stuff of legend.
We're talking fireworks, explicit mixtapes, even a shiv.
And that's a Black person you should know.
Shivs at school.
Damn.
[Gospel organ music plays] Aww, Diane.
That's cute, but no.
Oprah Winfrey is the first Black female billionaire.
- Oh, yeah.
- But go ahead, pick your principal.
[Both laugh] Okay.
Just forget I said anything.
- What? - [Devante crying] - Diane.
- Oh.
That's Devante.
I'm gonna go check on him.
I'm coming, baby.
Ha-ha! So, you don't think I know anything about DeRay Mckesson? DeRay Mckesson.
He's a young activist on the front lines of the current fight for civil rights, advocating for fairer policing practices on the streets and fairer sentencing practices in America's courts.
And that's a Black person you should know.
Boom.
[Gospel organ music plays] What do you say? I mean, I feel like he could be pretty inspiring for the kids at school.
Eh, he's interesting.
I give you that.
But his history has not been written yet.
All right, let's give him his due when he's accomplished everything that he's going to accomplish.
That's exactly what I've been saying.
You know who's accomplished a lot? Harriet Tubman.
Harriet Tubm Stop it! All right? Everybody knows about her.
You're not bringing anything to this conversation.
I'm sorry.
What was that? He said you're not bringing anything to the conversation.
Oh, I am so through with this.
Huh.
You know, we were in the kitchen talking about some amazing women you should be thinking about.
No, you were.
Okay, look, I will admit not all of your suggestions were terrible, but I can only choose one person to present tomorrow, and that person is Latimer.
I'm the one with the degree in this stuff.
I think I know what I'm talking about.
Do you? 'Cause I'm pretty sure you just looked up DeRay Mckesson in the bathroom.
You lie.
See, we're all just wasting our breath.
Dre's the one with the fancy degree.
Been telling us for 20 years that he's Mr.
Black History.
You can't even get on the Black History Month poster until he approves.
Hey, Pops, now you're putting a lot on it.
Am I? If that's not the case, what if I said Ben Carson? Ben Carson.
Unh-unh.
Nope.
Oh, you talking about the soul brother who said slaves were a bunch of Black immigrants coming to America looking for a better life? The man performed the first successful brain surgery on a baby in the womb.
Matter of fact, I remember you said the movie about him was inspirational, Dre.
Cuba Gooding Jr.
had me thinking he was Ben Carson.
Ooh, can we put Cuba on the list? Whoa, whoa.
So you're saying "Boat Trip" is about Ben Carson? Boy, we are not putting Ben Carson on the list! A man's life's work doesn't disappear just because you disagree with his politics.
The point I'm making is that you are not the king of all Black people, Dre.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, Dad, just admit it.
You have some blind spots.
I mean, we keep on giving you all of these suggestions to help, and you just keep shooting us down for no good reason.
- Oh, I have reasons - Dre.
You should listen to the kids' suggestions before you make your final decision.
As if you're any better at listening to us.
- What? - Diane.
Forget it.
Just make it whoever you want.
I'll just sit through the presentation, like usual.
JACK: This whole thing stinks.
You're supposed to be doing this for our school, but we don't get any say.
It's not a good look, Dre.
No, it's okay.
Dre knows best.
When someone asks you to talk about somebody, pick whoever you want.
But in a few hours, I am going to present an inspirational, squeaky-clean dead guy with major accomplishments and no skeletons in his closet, so no one can say he does not belong, and that person is Lewis Howard Latimer! - [Sighs] - That's it.
- Okay.
Gosh.
- And you know what? You guys don't deserve Latimer's lightbulbs.
Wha Ah! [Scoffs] Those are LED! [Door closes] Brought you back a burger.
Your betrayal killed my appetite, so I have to finish my Latimer presentation.
I was just trying to help.
I didn't mean to get you all upset.
I did.
You were being an ass.
Really? Maybe I was messing with you bring you down off your high horse but I don't like it when you talk to me like I'm a know-nothing old man, just like you didn't like it when Junior knew more than you.
Cheating in the bathroom is beneath you, big guy.
Instead of being mad, you should be proud that you raised kids that know so much about Black history and culture in all its forms.
Like you are of me? - I didn't say that.
- [Chuckles] I like it when you keep pushing for the new kids on the block, but I'm still gonna keep riding for the classics.
See, I worry that if they don't teach the classics during Black History Month, they'll just fade away.
Too many people look for excuses to just forget the hard parts of our story.
We have to keep reminding them.
I hear you, Pops.
And I just want to say that I'm sorry for being a jerk about Latimer.
You took all of the lightbulbs out of our bedrooms.
I didn't realize it was gonna be so much pressure.
You know, I saw this as my chance to show the kids a bigger picture of who we are, but then I had to compress all of our history into just one more person.
A lot is riding on me getting this right.
Wow.
Now I kind of feel bad for eating most of your burger on the way home.
Don't do that, son.
We got to take these moments to kick him while he's down.
I'll be taking this.
Okay, we are so lucky to have Mr.
Johnson here to tell us about one more great Black American before we close the book on Black History Month for another year.
Yes.
Thank you, Ms.
Davis.
Um, I'm actually going to do, uh, things a little differently.
We had a deal.
I told you he would do this.
Okay, hey, guys.
Um I racked my brain trying to find the one person to tell you about today, and that's how I came up with Lewis Latimer inventor, child of slaves, proud partner of Thomas Edison.
But the thing is, there is no one.
There are so many people to talk about, and 28 days isn't long enough to contain their influence and greatness.
Just like the white heroes that you learn about all year long, you should be learning about these Black heroes, too.
And not just Lewis Latimer.
Joycelyn Elders.
DeRay Mckesson.
And Aretha Franklin and Harriet Tubman and LeBron.
- [Scattered hooting] - Right? And someone sitting in this room right now.
You should also know artists like Kehinde Wiley and Kara Walker.
Black Lives Matter founders Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi.
Dr.
Ben Carson but only for the surgery stuff.
Cannot forget about my man Lonnie Johnson, who created the Super Soaker.
[Laughter] Journalist Ida B.
Wells.
Or civil rights icon Bayard Rustin.
Or medical pioneer Doctor McStuffins.
[Laughter] DRE: Black History Month may be over on February 28th, but that doesn't mean we have to stop celebrating the fullness of Black achievement.
We can celebrate it every day of the year, and we still won't get to all the people who deserve to be included in the conversation.
But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying.
Andre Johnson husband, father, advertising visionary.
Growing up in Compton, Johnson knew he would one day climb to the heights of the ad game.
Along the way, married a smoking-hot doctor wife and had five children, most of whom he likes.
He's a true American hero and the owner of the dopest shoe collection in Sherman Oaks.
And that's a Black person you should know.
[Sighs] Is this the kind of person we're doing now? Just a dude with some shoes? Cut! [Groans] Stupid.
If you could, uh If you could just read the cue cards, that would be great.
You know, we paid a lot to fly you out here.
It just seems weird.
I mean, of all the people in the world to pick.
Read the lines, Octavia.
[Both chuckle] You know I have an Oscar, right? So does Mo'Nique.
But she was unavailable.
We can roll.
MAN: Sound speed! - [Chuckles] - Rolling! Andre Johnson husband, father, jackass.