Blood Drive (2017) s01e11 Episode Script
Rise of the Primo
1 Previously on "Blood Drive" - You okay? - [retches.]
I may have triggered a tracking device.
Go find Arthur.
Make Heart pay for what they've done.
Relax.
Put the cop act to rest.
Or are you afraid you might just like this little paradise I've created? I felt like you had my back, like you were willing to go dark with me.
What the hell's a Soul Reclamator? Sooner or later, the good cop is gonna have to admit [whispering.]
he's a bad guy.
I'll save your pathetic little lives if you agree to go on one last adventure with me.
You get to get to the bottom of this bizarre obsession they have with you and your sister.
[rock music.]
- You're not gonna answer? - Don't do this to me.
- It's a simple question.
- It's not.
- Favorite movie.
- I don't I don't know.
- What do you mean, you don't know? - I don't know.
I don't - I-I don't watch any movies.
- What are you talk Give me something.
Um, uh, okay, here.
Super easy.
Dogs or cats? Cats.
Definitely cats.
[engine revs.]
What do you have against dogs? Nothing.
I Look, I had a dog growing up.
I had a black Lab named Daisy.
She was great, but she hated Karma.
She would growl at her, and then one day, bam! She bit Karma right here.
Pinned her down.
[sighs.]
She was only ten.
Jesus.
I wasn't there, but the neighbors saw it, thank God, and pulled her off, called the cops.
They were coming to put her down.
Look, I knew it had to happen, but she was my dog, and I wasn't gonna let anyone lay a hand on her.
So I took her out to the quarry.
[engine revving.]
Guess that's the first time I had to kill to protect Karma.
Who'd have thought that'd become my whole life, huh? What a lovely story, but I was really hoping the "world's greatest sister" bit would've ended after Karma croaked.
[inhales sharply.]
- Asshole.
- Succubus! It's not worth it.
After today, we're free and clear.
Just one last little thing, and then we're done with this asshole.
Forever.
Don't miss the turn.
[tires squealing.]
All right, coming through! [engine humming.]
[people clamoring.]
If you try to run, the guards have orders to shoot you down.
Trust me, you won't want to miss this.
Run from what? - [laughs.]
- Pull it through! Tonight we go live, and I'm gonna put on the greatest show this crumbling shit pile of a planet has ever seen.
After tonight, he can't hurt us anymore.
[dramatic music.]
Proceed to the underground staging area.
And remember, many will enter.
Only one will leave.
[rock music.]
Ridiculous.
Every single time.
Where's You always move things every time I-I go away.
Where where's my my Oh.
Thank you.
Primo match starts in T-minus one hour.
My, my! What a surprise! You know, it's not all that often we get you Heart bigwigs here live and in person.
You got Grace and Arthur back.
I wouldn't miss it.
Oh, you've stolen this girl's heart.
Shut up.
I didn't get where I am by letting pissant subordinates defy me.
I sent you to Reprogramming.
Mm, and yet here I am, on the big night when we finally, finally go live with two A-list Blood Drivers the whole world can get wet for.
And all of this because of me.
Ask yourself this, Slink.
Why would I reward an employee who undermined my authority and tested me at every turn, hmm? I've had a change of heart.
We're not going live.
Tonight's finale will be broadcast internally throughout Heart Enterprises as usual.
After that, we're terminating your project.
I beg your pardon? Tonight will be the final episode of "Blood Drive.
" [tense music.]
You lie! Entertainment's old news.
If you attended any of Alexandria's marketing meetings, you'd know that the Blood Drive PowerPoint revealed something very important.
PowerPoint? - It's like a fancy slide show.
- Mm-hmm.
With a projector, and they plug it into a computer, - and then they - Heart is a global leader with a global footprint, so we're gonna be a "thought starter" in the newest industry that people really do care about: politics.
Asshole.
If this really is to be "Blood Drive's" swan song, I say we shoot for the moon.
VIP areas are strictly off-limits to racers from Libya, Iraq, Syria, Yemen, Sudan, Iran, and Somalia.
What? What? [battery buzzes.]
Attention.
Attention, all personnel.
Prepare for immediate arrival at portal one.
[rock music.]
Who the hell are these assholes? And what's with the space vagina? Now arriving via Blood Gate One, incoming Blood Drivers from Portugal, Germany [growls.]
Zimbabwe, Afghanistan I can't believe this.
Must be 40 or 50 races' worth of drivers here.
[growls.]
I'm the champion! You want to come through me, you got to get through me! This is so much bigger than we thought.
- You're on! - [yells.]
These last few days, it's like we're finally - In sync.
- In sync again.
I can't believe we wasted all that money on therapists.
Do you remember the last one? I definitely remember the mess.
[both chuckle.]
We didn't need any of that.
We just needed to listen to each other.
[metallic clatter.]
Excuse me.
All your metal things are gonna scratch the paint.
She makes me put a lot of work into this car.
Hey! [exhales.]
What's the point? The race is over after tonight.
Heart's pulling the plug.
Slink's given up.
In case of an emergency, the lights will be turned off and all exits will be sealed.
Did you hear that? Yeah.
Race is over.
[chuckles softly.]
Good.
We can focus on ourselves again.
You can finally finish that project in the basement.
[chuckles softly.]
They're probably dead by now.
But this is like a whole new life for us.
What if, when it's all over, we just go back to the way we were? [alarm blaring.]
[people yelling.]
Attention.
Attention, please.
Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of myselves and Heart Enterprises, I'd like to welcome you to the Battle Dome! [people cheering.]
Preparations are nearly complete, and we'll soon begin the season's grand finale! [people cheering.]
We have preselected the contestants for our first event.
If I call your name, please step forward, choose your weapon, and form a line.
I just hope we're in the same group.
Icepick.
Hammerblow.
FaceEater.
Slaydog L.
A.
- [barks.]
- Arthur Bailey.
Hard Slab.
Fist[bleep.]
er.
Axe Wound.
You're gonna be fine.
His Honorable Sir Benjamin [bleep.]
licker III.
We just do what we have to.
Deathscream.
You don't understand.
Abby the Nun.
Ninja Jim.
No matter what they make me do I won't kill again.
[Interpol's "Untitled".]
[slow rock music.]
[engine revving.]
Surprise sometimes Will come around Surprise sometimes Will come around In 2,138 miles, turn right.
I will surprise you sometime I'll come around Oh, I will surprise you sometime I'll come around When you're down [tires screech.]
Hey, pretty lady.
Need a ride? What are you doing here? I couldn't leave.
Not without you.
I'm going back to trash your proximity sensor.
Want to come? I can't ask you to do that.
They'll be looking for us.
You said it yourself, we'd be walking into the belly of the beast.
Yeah, but you're worth it.
I'm experiencing so many new feelings right now.
Me too, baby.
Me too.
Now let's go set you free.
[engine revving.]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the end of the road.
[crowd cheering.]
The "Blood Drive" Battle Royal and series finale, live from the Battle Dome! [fire whooshing.]
[crowd cheering.]
We'd like to welcome our audiences from Heart Enterprises' satellite offices around the world.
Tonight we journey back in time to the Blood Drive's ancestral roots: Roman gladiator combat.
[crowd cheering.]
Round one contestants, step forward and enter the Battle Dome! [crowd cheering.]
[people yelling.]
For our premiere round of entertainment, we pit our wretched competitors against each other in a no-holds-barred battle to the death! [laughs.]
For those about to die, we salute you.
[crowd cheering.]
Now fight! I'm not a slave To a god that doesn't exist [all grunting.]
And I'm not a slave to a world That doesn't give a shit And when we were good You just closed your eyes [chain saw buzzing.]
So when we are bad [groans.]
Fight, fight, fight You don't have to do this, ma'am.
Fight, fight, fight [both grunt.]
I'm not gonna fight you.
[both grunting.]
Celebrated victim of your fame [crowd chanting "Kill!".]
[electrical whirring.]
And say that death was on sale today [yells.]
[crowd yelling.]
You just closed your eyes So when we are bad [crowd chanting "Kill!".]
We'll scar your minds I'm not gonna do it.
[chanting continues.]
I won't kill anyone! [crowd jeering.]
Look at yourselves.
This is what you do with your power? Kane Hill, fracking tubes, murder cars? This world has problems that you can fix, and you sit around watching this spectacle like some kind of death perverts! I was willing to let this go.
I was gonna move on.
But now you're all under arrest! [crowd laughing.]
[electrical whirring.]
[laughter continues.]
That's quite the speech, pretty boy.
But if you refuse to kill, then we'll just have to properly motivate you.
And I've got just the thing to do it.
Shut up, Slink.
[dramatic music.]
- [button clicks.]
- [fire whooshing.]
[crowd gasps.]
Arthur.
- Grace! - [button clicks.]
[fire whooshing.]
When I get out of here, I'm gonna strangle you with your own intestines.
Ooh, we haven't seen that this season.
Shut the fuck up.
I press this button, and your little girlfriend's burnt on the outside and pink in the center, champ.
Why? Huh? Why me? You kidnap my sister to force me to race.
Then you hound me but don't give a shit when the other racers bend the rules.
What the fuck could you have against me? Oh, yeah.
what could anyone have against you, Grace? All you did was abandon your sister, left her to die in some institution like she was nothing.
Why Grace D'Argento? Who could have any reason to hate sweet, sweet Grace? It's finally my turn.
[crowd yells.]
When you're gone, it'll all be about me.
For once in my life, I can be me without being overshadowed by you.
[dramatic music.]
[crowd gasping.]
[crowd gasps.]
Oh, my God.
Karma? [gasps.]
Karma.
I thought you were dead.
You wish.
I would never wish that.
You will.
[dramatic music.]
Whoo! Fight or she dies.
[crowd cheering.]
Wow, wow! What an what an amazing twist, ladies and gentlemen! Never a dull moment here on "Blood Drive.
" Speaking of which, let's begin round two! [fire whooshing.]
Really? [upbeat music playing.]
Round two is brought to you by the Heart Enterprises Gas-Powered Trimmer with Titanium Blades: the BladeNado.
Really? What an awesome name.
People are constantly asking me, "Harriet, what do you love "about owning Heart Enterprise'' Gas-Powered Trimmer with Titanium Blades?" And I tell them, "Cleanup.
" Here, let me show you.
But first we're gonna have to get it good and dirty.
[laughing maniacally.]
[whirring.]
[ducklings chirping frantically.]
The BladeNado Gas-Powered Trimmer with Titanium Blades, from Heart Enterprises.
The computer mainframe.
If there's a way to turn off my proximity sensors, it'll be beyond that door.
Ugh.
I hate computers.
- Babe! - Not you.
Sorry.
Our odds of success are lower than half of 1%.
Just look at all the cameras surrounding it.
And there are retina scans, palm scans, voice IDs, all tied directly into the mainframe.
It's nation-state-level security.
Yeah, but you forgot something.
Security guards are dumb as shit.
[chuckles softly.]
Babe, two days ago, you were a security guard.
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
[grunting.]
[dramatic music.]
Karma, I love you.
You don't have to do any of this.
I love you too, sis.
Enjoying the show? [people grunting, crowd yelling.]
[chain saw buzzing.]
Look.
I don't know why you were a dude.
And we can talk about that later.
But I get why you're angry.
Just please, please, I hope you understand that I-I didn't know what to do.
Do you know what their favorite form of treatment is at Kane Hill? Shock therapy.
Every morning right after breakfast.
A little scrambled eggs, a little pissing in your pants.
Karma, you were addicted to Red.
I didn't know what else to do.
You nearly died in my arms.
They tied me to a bed and tortured me.
And every day, all I could think of was how my own flesh and blood threw me away.
You were out of control, okay? It's like you weren't even my sister anymore.
Do I look out of control, Grace? All of this, it's because of me.
[fire whooshing.]
You traitor.
I swear I'm gonna Do what? Where are your $10 words now, Julian? How dare you? I build a world for you to ravish, and this is how you repay me? I swear I will make you bathe in all the pain and fuckery your heart can bear.
Oh, that gives me an idea.
Blood Drive was the best way to make you pay.
All I had to do was bark a few orders at Slink, make him jump, make your life a living hell.
Karma D'Argento! [clapping slowly.]
Ah! I have to admit, you had even me fooled.
Had I known you were just a miserable Red-addicted gutter tramp, I never would have jumped through all those hoops for you.
What do you want now? This.
[snaps fingers.]
[cage door clatters.]
[crowd yelling.]
[grunts.]
[growls.]
What are you doing? Something you never understood.
In order to create great drama, one must heighten the stakes, raise the jeopardy, put characters at risk.
You're right.
It's not quite good enough for a commercial break.
[both grunt.]
[grunting.]
That ought to do it.
If you've got heart, you better run.
Grab an ax, or grab a gun.
Snake the homeless tramps and hos.
The Blood Engine will grind their bones.
Race your cars around the track and try to break your partner's back before they turn you into fuel or a retard who can drool.
It's a game that's fun for Dad or Dad, so let's give "Blood Drive" one big hand.
Yes! "Blood Drive," "Blood Drive," know the name that will make your family scream in pain.
Get Heart Enterprises' favorite game.
"Blood Drive.
" [all grunting.]
[blade shinging.]
You okay? Peachy.
Watch out! [grunting.]
[soft dramatic music.]
Okay, okay.
- All right? - Yeah.
[both grunting.]
[fire whooshing.]
Good-bye, sweet prince.
Seriously good-bye.
[fire whooshing.]
[exhales shakily.]
[both grunting.]
[crowd cheering.]
[gasps.]
Ooh! You see, ladies and gentlemen? Now, that is what "Blood Drive" is all about: bringing people together.
Let's set the mood.
[tango music playing.]
Vienna.
How could I forget? The dinner.
The dancing.
The drowning.
The helpless gurgles of their screams.
[grunts.]
Stop time with me.
Let's make this moment last forever.
Last chance! [groans.]
[both grunt.]
Ha! I want you so bad right now.
Bad is the only way I want it right now.
I never want this moment to end.
I won't let us go back to the way we were.
We don't have to.
[dramatic music.]
both: I never wanted anyone to kill me but you.
[grunts.]
[crowd cheering.]
[gurgling.]
[grunts.]
[grunts, gurgles.]
[crowd cheering.]
[both gasping.]
[crowd cheering.]
This is the greatest achievement of my life.
[tense music.]
- Whoa.
- Howdy doody, fellas.
This Aki unit tells me you're having computer problems.
What computer problems? The ISP switched the modem IP on router port 9,000, which has bisected the packet distribution and is causing the Old Man's console to flicker.
Yeah.
Sounds about right.
[keypad beeps.]
[scanner warbling.]
[keypad beeps, lock clicks.]
[blaster firing, men grunting.]
Whoa.
- [crowd cheering.]
- [grunting.]
Karma, you saw the race.
Everything I did, I did for you, to save your life! I already had a life! You took that from me! You left me for a fucking boy, Grace.
First the Primo, then Arthur.
Jesus Christ, his name is Arthur! What is he, like, 40? [both grunting.]
At the Amazon camp, when I thought you were dead, I didn't want to live in a world without you.
I still don't.
Please.
That works for me.
[grunting.]
[yells.]
[screams.]
[screams.]
[in slow motion.]
Grace! [men grunt.]
[dramatic music.]
Oh, my God.
It's beautiful.
It's like nothing I could have possibly planned.
[grunts.]
[screams.]
[grinding.]
[shield thumps.]
Emerge.
[music intensifying.]
[roars.]
Emerge, my beautiful butterfly.
Emerge! Do it.
Pick it up.
Pick it up! [man yells.]
Do it.
Do it.
[ax shings.]
[people yelling.]
Blood Drive! Are you motherfuckers ready For the new shit Stand up and admit tomorrow's never coming - [grunting.]
- This is the new shit Stand up and admit - Do we get it - No - Do we want it - Yeah This is the new shit Stand up and admit [grunting.]
[shrieking.]
[grunting.]
Arthur, no! I'm alive! [grunts.]
[grunts.]
This is the new shit Stand up and admit - Do we get it - No - Do we want it - Yeah Pleased to taking the lead.
But Captain Clowndick's gaining on us! - Ribbone lost control! - He must be fucking hammered! both: Blood Drive! Bring the fun and excitement of America's number one blood sport home.
With all your favorites: Ribbone - [dog barks.]
- Yeah! Domi and Cliff [laughs.]
Even Slink, with real top hat action.
- Cool! - And of course, everyone's favorites, - Arthur and Grace.
- Yeah! I was born to kill.
Collect them all.
From Heart Enterprises.
Arthur, don't succumb to the darkness.
It has me, Grace.
It has me.
[fire whooshing.]
[computer blipping.]
What are you doing? I'm having trouble disabling my proximity sensors.
We don't have much time.
It won't take Heart long to realize we're here.
There's some kind of interference, so I'm doing a backup of all of Heart Project databases and building schematics so I can cross-reference them.
I found the problem.
Something called the SR Unit.
It's sucking all the energy out of the system.
[tense music.]
[whooshing, electricity crackling.]
[whirring.]
What the hell is that? [ding.]
[crowd yelling.]
[men grunting.]
[yells.]
[dramatic music.]
[breathing rapidly.]
[chuckles.]
He's really something, isn't he? Such a natural killer.
I can see why you like him.
He's sick upstairs.
Like us.
I've had a lot of time to think about how things got so shitty.
At first, I hated the guy who got me hooked on Red.
Then I hated the hospital staff for fucking me up even more.
Then I realized that none of that even matters because you did this to me.
This one time when I was, like, ten, you were so busy making out with some asshole on the couch, so I snuck out to teach you a lesson.
Yeah, you were definitely a pain in the ass.
I remember that much.
If the cops caught me in the street, they would have brought me back home, found out that Mom and Dad were gone, and that I was being raised by a total bitch.
Oh.
But look at how well you turned out.
[chuckles softly.]
[tense music.]
- [grunts.]
- [chuckles.]
I wasn't talking about you.
Do you know who stopped me? Daisy.
She came out of the shadows, growling, and I practically shit my pants.
She chased me back inside.
A fucking dog was better at raising me than you.
I loved that dog.
Yeah, I seem to remember it a little differently.
At least she didn't throw me away like a piece of trash! [knocking.]
First you get to watch your boyfriend lose his mind.
Then you get to watch me kill him.
Then after that Well, I'd hate to ruin the surprise.
[intense music.]
[yells.]
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come [grunts.]
[groaning.]
[crowd cheering.]
[hard rock music.]
[yelling.]
[electricity zapping.]
I think it makes hats.
- [men grunting.]
- [crowd cheering.]
This man is putting on a clinic, ladies and gentlemen.
This is textbook slaughter! No! [grunting.]
[groans.]
[tense music.]
You like that? Huh? You like that, you sick fucks? [crowd cheering.]
Arthur.
[buzzer blares.]
[gate creaks.]
[dramatic music.]
You're the one, huh? You're the one that caused all this? Lot of trouble for a little girl.
Dynamite comes in small packages.
Ugh.
A picture-perfect ending to a fairy-tale season.
Arthur Bailey, the fucking cop, squares off against Karma D'Argento, my deceitful bitch of a boss! [grunting.]
[tense music.]
[both grunting.]
[grunting.]
Ladies and gentlemen, just one thing stands between Arthur Bailey and victory! Fight! [Grunting.]
Thanks a lot, buddy, but I got this.
Don't hurt him! Don't hurt him! [buzzer blares.]
[both grunting.]
You have the power to stop all this.
I know you think I failed you, but if you do this, we'll lose each other forever.
Please.
[both grunting.]
Please.
[sniffles.]
[dramatic vocal music.]
You did this to us! - [grunts.]
- [grunts.]
I'm never gonna stop, Grace, not until everything you love is gone! [grinding.]
I know.
[screams.]
[grinding.]
[electricity zapping.]
[alarm blaring.]
Warning.
Reclamation now in progress.
What the hell is this thing? Aki! - Almost done.
- We need to go now! - Warning.
- Finished.
Reclamation now in progre-gre-gress.
Warning.
Warning.
Warning.
[dramatic music.]
[crowd cheering.]
[both grunting.]
Arthur.
That's enough.
[sniffles.]
I'm alive.
It's over.
[knife clatters.]
[crowd yelling.]
No, it's not.
- [grunts.]
- [bones crack.]
[crowd cheering.]
And then there were two! Only one thing remains, and that is to crown this year's Primo! [fire whooshing.]
We did that one last thing you wanted.
That was the deal.
We're done.
[sniffles.]
Let's get the hell out of here.
I'm not going anywhere.
These two lovebirds are partners no more! [crowd cheering.]
Now they must fight until but one remains, our champion, our Primo! You heard the man.
Arthur, you're not thinking straight.
There can only be one Primo.
[dramatic music.]
Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, I believe [buzzer blares.]
Yes! Yes! It is a forfeit! It is a forfeit! It's over! And it's all over! There's no denying it.
I am an artist.
[fire whooshing.]
And this is my finest work.
[crowd cheering.]
[dramatic rock music.]
[crowd cheering.]
[laughs.]
[crowd cheering.]
[crowd cheering.]
[triumphant music.]
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new Blood Drive Primo: Arthur Bailey! [crowd cheering.]
[fire whooshing.]
[dramatic rock music.]
Primo! Primo! Primo! [crowd chanting "Primo!".]
Primo! Primo! [chanting continues.]
Primo! Primo! Primo! [chanting continues.]
Yes! [fire whooshing.]
[grinding.]
[cheering loudens.]
[fire whooshing.]
[crowd cheering.]
I may have triggered a tracking device.
Go find Arthur.
Make Heart pay for what they've done.
Relax.
Put the cop act to rest.
Or are you afraid you might just like this little paradise I've created? I felt like you had my back, like you were willing to go dark with me.
What the hell's a Soul Reclamator? Sooner or later, the good cop is gonna have to admit [whispering.]
he's a bad guy.
I'll save your pathetic little lives if you agree to go on one last adventure with me.
You get to get to the bottom of this bizarre obsession they have with you and your sister.
[rock music.]
- You're not gonna answer? - Don't do this to me.
- It's a simple question.
- It's not.
- Favorite movie.
- I don't I don't know.
- What do you mean, you don't know? - I don't know.
I don't - I-I don't watch any movies.
- What are you talk Give me something.
Um, uh, okay, here.
Super easy.
Dogs or cats? Cats.
Definitely cats.
[engine revs.]
What do you have against dogs? Nothing.
I Look, I had a dog growing up.
I had a black Lab named Daisy.
She was great, but she hated Karma.
She would growl at her, and then one day, bam! She bit Karma right here.
Pinned her down.
[sighs.]
She was only ten.
Jesus.
I wasn't there, but the neighbors saw it, thank God, and pulled her off, called the cops.
They were coming to put her down.
Look, I knew it had to happen, but she was my dog, and I wasn't gonna let anyone lay a hand on her.
So I took her out to the quarry.
[engine revving.]
Guess that's the first time I had to kill to protect Karma.
Who'd have thought that'd become my whole life, huh? What a lovely story, but I was really hoping the "world's greatest sister" bit would've ended after Karma croaked.
[inhales sharply.]
- Asshole.
- Succubus! It's not worth it.
After today, we're free and clear.
Just one last little thing, and then we're done with this asshole.
Forever.
Don't miss the turn.
[tires squealing.]
All right, coming through! [engine humming.]
[people clamoring.]
If you try to run, the guards have orders to shoot you down.
Trust me, you won't want to miss this.
Run from what? - [laughs.]
- Pull it through! Tonight we go live, and I'm gonna put on the greatest show this crumbling shit pile of a planet has ever seen.
After tonight, he can't hurt us anymore.
[dramatic music.]
Proceed to the underground staging area.
And remember, many will enter.
Only one will leave.
[rock music.]
Ridiculous.
Every single time.
Where's You always move things every time I-I go away.
Where where's my my Oh.
Thank you.
Primo match starts in T-minus one hour.
My, my! What a surprise! You know, it's not all that often we get you Heart bigwigs here live and in person.
You got Grace and Arthur back.
I wouldn't miss it.
Oh, you've stolen this girl's heart.
Shut up.
I didn't get where I am by letting pissant subordinates defy me.
I sent you to Reprogramming.
Mm, and yet here I am, on the big night when we finally, finally go live with two A-list Blood Drivers the whole world can get wet for.
And all of this because of me.
Ask yourself this, Slink.
Why would I reward an employee who undermined my authority and tested me at every turn, hmm? I've had a change of heart.
We're not going live.
Tonight's finale will be broadcast internally throughout Heart Enterprises as usual.
After that, we're terminating your project.
I beg your pardon? Tonight will be the final episode of "Blood Drive.
" [tense music.]
You lie! Entertainment's old news.
If you attended any of Alexandria's marketing meetings, you'd know that the Blood Drive PowerPoint revealed something very important.
PowerPoint? - It's like a fancy slide show.
- Mm-hmm.
With a projector, and they plug it into a computer, - and then they - Heart is a global leader with a global footprint, so we're gonna be a "thought starter" in the newest industry that people really do care about: politics.
Asshole.
If this really is to be "Blood Drive's" swan song, I say we shoot for the moon.
VIP areas are strictly off-limits to racers from Libya, Iraq, Syria, Yemen, Sudan, Iran, and Somalia.
What? What? [battery buzzes.]
Attention.
Attention, all personnel.
Prepare for immediate arrival at portal one.
[rock music.]
Who the hell are these assholes? And what's with the space vagina? Now arriving via Blood Gate One, incoming Blood Drivers from Portugal, Germany [growls.]
Zimbabwe, Afghanistan I can't believe this.
Must be 40 or 50 races' worth of drivers here.
[growls.]
I'm the champion! You want to come through me, you got to get through me! This is so much bigger than we thought.
- You're on! - [yells.]
These last few days, it's like we're finally - In sync.
- In sync again.
I can't believe we wasted all that money on therapists.
Do you remember the last one? I definitely remember the mess.
[both chuckle.]
We didn't need any of that.
We just needed to listen to each other.
[metallic clatter.]
Excuse me.
All your metal things are gonna scratch the paint.
She makes me put a lot of work into this car.
Hey! [exhales.]
What's the point? The race is over after tonight.
Heart's pulling the plug.
Slink's given up.
In case of an emergency, the lights will be turned off and all exits will be sealed.
Did you hear that? Yeah.
Race is over.
[chuckles softly.]
Good.
We can focus on ourselves again.
You can finally finish that project in the basement.
[chuckles softly.]
They're probably dead by now.
But this is like a whole new life for us.
What if, when it's all over, we just go back to the way we were? [alarm blaring.]
[people yelling.]
Attention.
Attention, please.
Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of myselves and Heart Enterprises, I'd like to welcome you to the Battle Dome! [people cheering.]
Preparations are nearly complete, and we'll soon begin the season's grand finale! [people cheering.]
We have preselected the contestants for our first event.
If I call your name, please step forward, choose your weapon, and form a line.
I just hope we're in the same group.
Icepick.
Hammerblow.
FaceEater.
Slaydog L.
A.
- [barks.]
- Arthur Bailey.
Hard Slab.
Fist[bleep.]
er.
Axe Wound.
You're gonna be fine.
His Honorable Sir Benjamin [bleep.]
licker III.
We just do what we have to.
Deathscream.
You don't understand.
Abby the Nun.
Ninja Jim.
No matter what they make me do I won't kill again.
[Interpol's "Untitled".]
[slow rock music.]
[engine revving.]
Surprise sometimes Will come around Surprise sometimes Will come around In 2,138 miles, turn right.
I will surprise you sometime I'll come around Oh, I will surprise you sometime I'll come around When you're down [tires screech.]
Hey, pretty lady.
Need a ride? What are you doing here? I couldn't leave.
Not without you.
I'm going back to trash your proximity sensor.
Want to come? I can't ask you to do that.
They'll be looking for us.
You said it yourself, we'd be walking into the belly of the beast.
Yeah, but you're worth it.
I'm experiencing so many new feelings right now.
Me too, baby.
Me too.
Now let's go set you free.
[engine revving.]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the end of the road.
[crowd cheering.]
The "Blood Drive" Battle Royal and series finale, live from the Battle Dome! [fire whooshing.]
[crowd cheering.]
We'd like to welcome our audiences from Heart Enterprises' satellite offices around the world.
Tonight we journey back in time to the Blood Drive's ancestral roots: Roman gladiator combat.
[crowd cheering.]
Round one contestants, step forward and enter the Battle Dome! [crowd cheering.]
[people yelling.]
For our premiere round of entertainment, we pit our wretched competitors against each other in a no-holds-barred battle to the death! [laughs.]
For those about to die, we salute you.
[crowd cheering.]
Now fight! I'm not a slave To a god that doesn't exist [all grunting.]
And I'm not a slave to a world That doesn't give a shit And when we were good You just closed your eyes [chain saw buzzing.]
So when we are bad [groans.]
Fight, fight, fight You don't have to do this, ma'am.
Fight, fight, fight [both grunt.]
I'm not gonna fight you.
[both grunting.]
Celebrated victim of your fame [crowd chanting "Kill!".]
[electrical whirring.]
And say that death was on sale today [yells.]
[crowd yelling.]
You just closed your eyes So when we are bad [crowd chanting "Kill!".]
We'll scar your minds I'm not gonna do it.
[chanting continues.]
I won't kill anyone! [crowd jeering.]
Look at yourselves.
This is what you do with your power? Kane Hill, fracking tubes, murder cars? This world has problems that you can fix, and you sit around watching this spectacle like some kind of death perverts! I was willing to let this go.
I was gonna move on.
But now you're all under arrest! [crowd laughing.]
[electrical whirring.]
[laughter continues.]
That's quite the speech, pretty boy.
But if you refuse to kill, then we'll just have to properly motivate you.
And I've got just the thing to do it.
Shut up, Slink.
[dramatic music.]
- [button clicks.]
- [fire whooshing.]
[crowd gasps.]
Arthur.
- Grace! - [button clicks.]
[fire whooshing.]
When I get out of here, I'm gonna strangle you with your own intestines.
Ooh, we haven't seen that this season.
Shut the fuck up.
I press this button, and your little girlfriend's burnt on the outside and pink in the center, champ.
Why? Huh? Why me? You kidnap my sister to force me to race.
Then you hound me but don't give a shit when the other racers bend the rules.
What the fuck could you have against me? Oh, yeah.
what could anyone have against you, Grace? All you did was abandon your sister, left her to die in some institution like she was nothing.
Why Grace D'Argento? Who could have any reason to hate sweet, sweet Grace? It's finally my turn.
[crowd yells.]
When you're gone, it'll all be about me.
For once in my life, I can be me without being overshadowed by you.
[dramatic music.]
[crowd gasping.]
[crowd gasps.]
Oh, my God.
Karma? [gasps.]
Karma.
I thought you were dead.
You wish.
I would never wish that.
You will.
[dramatic music.]
Whoo! Fight or she dies.
[crowd cheering.]
Wow, wow! What an what an amazing twist, ladies and gentlemen! Never a dull moment here on "Blood Drive.
" Speaking of which, let's begin round two! [fire whooshing.]
Really? [upbeat music playing.]
Round two is brought to you by the Heart Enterprises Gas-Powered Trimmer with Titanium Blades: the BladeNado.
Really? What an awesome name.
People are constantly asking me, "Harriet, what do you love "about owning Heart Enterprise'' Gas-Powered Trimmer with Titanium Blades?" And I tell them, "Cleanup.
" Here, let me show you.
But first we're gonna have to get it good and dirty.
[laughing maniacally.]
[whirring.]
[ducklings chirping frantically.]
The BladeNado Gas-Powered Trimmer with Titanium Blades, from Heart Enterprises.
The computer mainframe.
If there's a way to turn off my proximity sensors, it'll be beyond that door.
Ugh.
I hate computers.
- Babe! - Not you.
Sorry.
Our odds of success are lower than half of 1%.
Just look at all the cameras surrounding it.
And there are retina scans, palm scans, voice IDs, all tied directly into the mainframe.
It's nation-state-level security.
Yeah, but you forgot something.
Security guards are dumb as shit.
[chuckles softly.]
Babe, two days ago, you were a security guard.
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
[grunting.]
[dramatic music.]
Karma, I love you.
You don't have to do any of this.
I love you too, sis.
Enjoying the show? [people grunting, crowd yelling.]
[chain saw buzzing.]
Look.
I don't know why you were a dude.
And we can talk about that later.
But I get why you're angry.
Just please, please, I hope you understand that I-I didn't know what to do.
Do you know what their favorite form of treatment is at Kane Hill? Shock therapy.
Every morning right after breakfast.
A little scrambled eggs, a little pissing in your pants.
Karma, you were addicted to Red.
I didn't know what else to do.
You nearly died in my arms.
They tied me to a bed and tortured me.
And every day, all I could think of was how my own flesh and blood threw me away.
You were out of control, okay? It's like you weren't even my sister anymore.
Do I look out of control, Grace? All of this, it's because of me.
[fire whooshing.]
You traitor.
I swear I'm gonna Do what? Where are your $10 words now, Julian? How dare you? I build a world for you to ravish, and this is how you repay me? I swear I will make you bathe in all the pain and fuckery your heart can bear.
Oh, that gives me an idea.
Blood Drive was the best way to make you pay.
All I had to do was bark a few orders at Slink, make him jump, make your life a living hell.
Karma D'Argento! [clapping slowly.]
Ah! I have to admit, you had even me fooled.
Had I known you were just a miserable Red-addicted gutter tramp, I never would have jumped through all those hoops for you.
What do you want now? This.
[snaps fingers.]
[cage door clatters.]
[crowd yelling.]
[grunts.]
[growls.]
What are you doing? Something you never understood.
In order to create great drama, one must heighten the stakes, raise the jeopardy, put characters at risk.
You're right.
It's not quite good enough for a commercial break.
[both grunt.]
[grunting.]
That ought to do it.
If you've got heart, you better run.
Grab an ax, or grab a gun.
Snake the homeless tramps and hos.
The Blood Engine will grind their bones.
Race your cars around the track and try to break your partner's back before they turn you into fuel or a retard who can drool.
It's a game that's fun for Dad or Dad, so let's give "Blood Drive" one big hand.
Yes! "Blood Drive," "Blood Drive," know the name that will make your family scream in pain.
Get Heart Enterprises' favorite game.
"Blood Drive.
" [all grunting.]
[blade shinging.]
You okay? Peachy.
Watch out! [grunting.]
[soft dramatic music.]
Okay, okay.
- All right? - Yeah.
[both grunting.]
[fire whooshing.]
Good-bye, sweet prince.
Seriously good-bye.
[fire whooshing.]
[exhales shakily.]
[both grunting.]
[crowd cheering.]
[gasps.]
Ooh! You see, ladies and gentlemen? Now, that is what "Blood Drive" is all about: bringing people together.
Let's set the mood.
[tango music playing.]
Vienna.
How could I forget? The dinner.
The dancing.
The drowning.
The helpless gurgles of their screams.
[grunts.]
Stop time with me.
Let's make this moment last forever.
Last chance! [groans.]
[both grunt.]
Ha! I want you so bad right now.
Bad is the only way I want it right now.
I never want this moment to end.
I won't let us go back to the way we were.
We don't have to.
[dramatic music.]
both: I never wanted anyone to kill me but you.
[grunts.]
[crowd cheering.]
[gurgling.]
[grunts.]
[grunts, gurgles.]
[crowd cheering.]
[both gasping.]
[crowd cheering.]
This is the greatest achievement of my life.
[tense music.]
- Whoa.
- Howdy doody, fellas.
This Aki unit tells me you're having computer problems.
What computer problems? The ISP switched the modem IP on router port 9,000, which has bisected the packet distribution and is causing the Old Man's console to flicker.
Yeah.
Sounds about right.
[keypad beeps.]
[scanner warbling.]
[keypad beeps, lock clicks.]
[blaster firing, men grunting.]
Whoa.
- [crowd cheering.]
- [grunting.]
Karma, you saw the race.
Everything I did, I did for you, to save your life! I already had a life! You took that from me! You left me for a fucking boy, Grace.
First the Primo, then Arthur.
Jesus Christ, his name is Arthur! What is he, like, 40? [both grunting.]
At the Amazon camp, when I thought you were dead, I didn't want to live in a world without you.
I still don't.
Please.
That works for me.
[grunting.]
[yells.]
[screams.]
[screams.]
[in slow motion.]
Grace! [men grunt.]
[dramatic music.]
Oh, my God.
It's beautiful.
It's like nothing I could have possibly planned.
[grunts.]
[screams.]
[grinding.]
[shield thumps.]
Emerge.
[music intensifying.]
[roars.]
Emerge, my beautiful butterfly.
Emerge! Do it.
Pick it up.
Pick it up! [man yells.]
Do it.
Do it.
[ax shings.]
[people yelling.]
Blood Drive! Are you motherfuckers ready For the new shit Stand up and admit tomorrow's never coming - [grunting.]
- This is the new shit Stand up and admit - Do we get it - No - Do we want it - Yeah This is the new shit Stand up and admit [grunting.]
[shrieking.]
[grunting.]
Arthur, no! I'm alive! [grunts.]
[grunts.]
This is the new shit Stand up and admit - Do we get it - No - Do we want it - Yeah Pleased to taking the lead.
But Captain Clowndick's gaining on us! - Ribbone lost control! - He must be fucking hammered! both: Blood Drive! Bring the fun and excitement of America's number one blood sport home.
With all your favorites: Ribbone - [dog barks.]
- Yeah! Domi and Cliff [laughs.]
Even Slink, with real top hat action.
- Cool! - And of course, everyone's favorites, - Arthur and Grace.
- Yeah! I was born to kill.
Collect them all.
From Heart Enterprises.
Arthur, don't succumb to the darkness.
It has me, Grace.
It has me.
[fire whooshing.]
[computer blipping.]
What are you doing? I'm having trouble disabling my proximity sensors.
We don't have much time.
It won't take Heart long to realize we're here.
There's some kind of interference, so I'm doing a backup of all of Heart Project databases and building schematics so I can cross-reference them.
I found the problem.
Something called the SR Unit.
It's sucking all the energy out of the system.
[tense music.]
[whooshing, electricity crackling.]
[whirring.]
What the hell is that? [ding.]
[crowd yelling.]
[men grunting.]
[yells.]
[dramatic music.]
[breathing rapidly.]
[chuckles.]
He's really something, isn't he? Such a natural killer.
I can see why you like him.
He's sick upstairs.
Like us.
I've had a lot of time to think about how things got so shitty.
At first, I hated the guy who got me hooked on Red.
Then I hated the hospital staff for fucking me up even more.
Then I realized that none of that even matters because you did this to me.
This one time when I was, like, ten, you were so busy making out with some asshole on the couch, so I snuck out to teach you a lesson.
Yeah, you were definitely a pain in the ass.
I remember that much.
If the cops caught me in the street, they would have brought me back home, found out that Mom and Dad were gone, and that I was being raised by a total bitch.
Oh.
But look at how well you turned out.
[chuckles softly.]
[tense music.]
- [grunts.]
- [chuckles.]
I wasn't talking about you.
Do you know who stopped me? Daisy.
She came out of the shadows, growling, and I practically shit my pants.
She chased me back inside.
A fucking dog was better at raising me than you.
I loved that dog.
Yeah, I seem to remember it a little differently.
At least she didn't throw me away like a piece of trash! [knocking.]
First you get to watch your boyfriend lose his mind.
Then you get to watch me kill him.
Then after that Well, I'd hate to ruin the surprise.
[intense music.]
[yells.]
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come [grunts.]
[groaning.]
[crowd cheering.]
[hard rock music.]
[yelling.]
[electricity zapping.]
I think it makes hats.
- [men grunting.]
- [crowd cheering.]
This man is putting on a clinic, ladies and gentlemen.
This is textbook slaughter! No! [grunting.]
[groans.]
[tense music.]
You like that? Huh? You like that, you sick fucks? [crowd cheering.]
Arthur.
[buzzer blares.]
[gate creaks.]
[dramatic music.]
You're the one, huh? You're the one that caused all this? Lot of trouble for a little girl.
Dynamite comes in small packages.
Ugh.
A picture-perfect ending to a fairy-tale season.
Arthur Bailey, the fucking cop, squares off against Karma D'Argento, my deceitful bitch of a boss! [grunting.]
[tense music.]
[both grunting.]
[grunting.]
Ladies and gentlemen, just one thing stands between Arthur Bailey and victory! Fight! [Grunting.]
Thanks a lot, buddy, but I got this.
Don't hurt him! Don't hurt him! [buzzer blares.]
[both grunting.]
You have the power to stop all this.
I know you think I failed you, but if you do this, we'll lose each other forever.
Please.
[both grunting.]
Please.
[sniffles.]
[dramatic vocal music.]
You did this to us! - [grunts.]
- [grunts.]
I'm never gonna stop, Grace, not until everything you love is gone! [grinding.]
I know.
[screams.]
[grinding.]
[electricity zapping.]
[alarm blaring.]
Warning.
Reclamation now in progress.
What the hell is this thing? Aki! - Almost done.
- We need to go now! - Warning.
- Finished.
Reclamation now in progre-gre-gress.
Warning.
Warning.
Warning.
[dramatic music.]
[crowd cheering.]
[both grunting.]
Arthur.
That's enough.
[sniffles.]
I'm alive.
It's over.
[knife clatters.]
[crowd yelling.]
No, it's not.
- [grunts.]
- [bones crack.]
[crowd cheering.]
And then there were two! Only one thing remains, and that is to crown this year's Primo! [fire whooshing.]
We did that one last thing you wanted.
That was the deal.
We're done.
[sniffles.]
Let's get the hell out of here.
I'm not going anywhere.
These two lovebirds are partners no more! [crowd cheering.]
Now they must fight until but one remains, our champion, our Primo! You heard the man.
Arthur, you're not thinking straight.
There can only be one Primo.
[dramatic music.]
Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, I believe [buzzer blares.]
Yes! Yes! It is a forfeit! It is a forfeit! It's over! And it's all over! There's no denying it.
I am an artist.
[fire whooshing.]
And this is my finest work.
[crowd cheering.]
[dramatic rock music.]
[crowd cheering.]
[laughs.]
[crowd cheering.]
[crowd cheering.]
[triumphant music.]
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new Blood Drive Primo: Arthur Bailey! [crowd cheering.]
[fire whooshing.]
[dramatic rock music.]
Primo! Primo! Primo! [crowd chanting "Primo!".]
Primo! Primo! [chanting continues.]
Primo! Primo! Primo! [chanting continues.]
Yes! [fire whooshing.]
[grinding.]
[cheering loudens.]
[fire whooshing.]
[crowd cheering.]