Blue Bloods s12e16 Episode Script


Previously on Blue Bloods Well done, Detective Reddick.
I'd like to be posted here in One PP.
I like her, too, but she's a handful and a half.
I really am excited to be up here with the dream team.
We like to think of ourselves more like the Three Musketeers.
This office is the deep end of the pool.
It's for sinking or swimming.
- Are you gunning for my job? - No.
- Do you feel threatened? - You know what, don't flatter yourself.
You're transferring me? I can't waste you up here when I could have you working out there.
Do good work.
Come back safe.
It's like living next door to an animal! Well, maybe if you turned down the show tunes, this never would've happened! Do you have any idea how valuable this piece is? Any idea what I would do to you if you tore that canvas? - I'd snap you in two! - Okay, okay! - That's enough.
That's enough! - Yeah! What's going on here? He was banging on the wall so hard, he nearly destroyed Jonathan's Sebastian Blanck.
'Cause they won't turn the damn music down.
Right, right.
And last time it was because you were playing your drums too loud.
At 8:00 in the morning on a Saturday.
And a month before that, you fed his dog chocolate brownies.
- That never happened.
- You know you did it.
She was puking for two days! And you were so kind to smear it all over our door, good neighbor.
- That's enough.
- This has got to stop.
We cannot keep coming down here every time you two get in an argument.
Then he is going to have to move.
I'm not going anywhere.
If anyone's moving, it's you two.
We've been here for 20 years.
Sounds like the perfect time for a change.
A frat boy in Chelsea.
No thanks! Listen to me.
I'm sick of this.
You go to your corner.
You, go to your corner.
Now! I hope nothing happens to your doggy.
Touch my dog, I will kill you! - I will kill you.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Did you hear what he just said? Yeah, I heard what he just said.
Now get in there before you get arrested.
Don't even think about it! You think that'll work? Well, it hasn't so far.
I was just thinking I thought I smelled something burning.
I don't have time for jokes, okay? This is serious.
What travels faster, sound or light? Light? Which is why when we first met, I thought you were bright, and then I heard you speak.
I swear, Reagan, sometimes I think you were born on a highway.
A highway? That's where most accidents happen.
You know, I used to tell people that you had a body like a Greek god.
And then someone reminded me that Buddha isn't Greek.
Ha ha ha.
A three-legged dog walks into a bar, says to the bartender "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.
" - You know that one? - Yeah.
I'm a fart smeller.
I mean, a real smart feller.
I could do this all day long.
- I know.
- Excuse me.
The boss asked to see you.
Just when I was having fun.
Not your boss.
Your boss.
I don't know.
- You're yanking my chain.
- I am not.
But you've been here a hundred years.
You're all me and the other investigators know.
It's the hundred years part.
It's why I'm packing it in, Anthony.
Look, I know I'm supposed to say I'm happy for you, but I'm not.
- It'll be fine.
- No, it won't.
They're gonna put some yahoo in your chair who doesn't know his ass from his elbow, and you know it.
No, the guy they got in mind isn't half bad.
Well, "half bad" is just another way of saying he's only half good.
I'm telling you, this guy's solid.
You two have a lot in common.
Yeah, great.
He's gonna want to be pals.
I'm 50-something years old, Charlie.
My dance card is full.
It's you, numbnuts.
I'm talking about you.
Me what? You're the new chief investigator.
Come on.
You're yanking my chain.
Hand-picked you myself.
- Hey.
- Good evening, Detectives.
Not a good evening if we're seeing you.
No offense.
Yeah, sorry about that.
Came home from an event and found his husband dead.
Must have been a pretty bad scene.
Multiple stab wounds.
Poor thing.
Any chance he saw anything unusual in the apartment? He's been like that since we got the call.
But there is something.
- What? - 911 got a call earlier today.
An altercation in the hallway between this couple and their next-door neighbor.
Responding officer? Edit Janko.
You don't say.
Where is she? They're bringing in Detective Reddick now.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on a sec.
You know who you are.
Be that.
How many times you have to respond to calls over there? A dozen.
Maybe more.
At least once a week, 2B and 2C are at each other's throats.
What happened yesterday? The guys were blasting show tunes.
That pissed Roger off, and he started banging on their wall, and that knocked Jonathan's painting to the ground and almost destroyed it.
And things got heated? Very.
They were at each other's throats when I arrived on the scene.
- Physical? - Damn close.
What's your take on this Roger guy? He seem capable of doing something like this? He's definitely hotheaded.
Did he ever make any threats, this Roger? Threatened to kill Mitchell yesterday.
That's burying the lede a little bit, don't you think? I didn't take it seriously in the moment.
I thought it was just one of those things people say.
Until a dead body turns up a few hours later.
Two guys go into a bar, okay? - What? - Third one ducks.
You know, not a bar, but a bar.
You know, the third guy ducks.
- I got a better joke.
- Okay.
- A real doozy.
- Mm-hmm.
Yesterday, Peterson asked me to take his job as chief investigator.
- Seriously? - True story.
Well, what did you say? I told him I was flattered.
But you're not gonna do it, right? I don't know.
Why? Well, y-you can't.
Really? - What? - You know, I-I figured you would be doing the opposite.
I figured you would be the one - talking me into taking the job.
- Well, yeah.
Of course.
I mean you should if-if, you know, that's something you might be interested in.
Not your most convincing argument, Counselor.
I'm sorry, Anthony, I'm just concerned about, I don't know, the motivation behind the offer.
What motivation could Charlie Peterson possibly have that would get your panties all bunched up? My undergarments are just fine.
And it's not Charlie that I'm thinking about.
It's the person behind him who's pulling the strings that I'm worried about.
- Crawford? - Yeah.
You really are paranoid.
You know what she's capable of.
I tell you that my pal is retiring and wants me to fill his shoes as boss, and the first place your mind goes to is a Crawford conspiracy? You know she has it out for me.
You know it.
So, what, I'm such a bubbling stunod that it's impossible that I could get - that kind of nod on merit? - I didn't say that.
That the only way I could get it if it's got something to do with you? I did not say that, Anthony.
You know, you're right about one thing, I am stunod.
I should have known everything revolves around you.
Anthony I got a good one for you.
Why'd the fat guy cross the road? To get the hell away from Erin Reagan.
Ain't like the movies, is it? Not even close.
Makes you second-guess all those death scene speeches.
It's hard to be eloquent when you're bleeding.
I could barely speak.
Bonk on my head did me in even more than getting shot.
After you left One PP, the last place I expected to see you was here.
It doesn't make sense how everything could be moving a hundred miles an hour and in slow motion at the same time.
That's it right there.
Does it ever stop playing? My experience, the first day is the worst, tomorrow's a little better, the next day is better than the day before.
And so on.
But the good news is you're cleared to get out of here.
That's the best medicine.
I wish the doctor would write me that prescription.
Got my latest CAT scan results, didn't like the look of them.
He wants to keep me here for observation.
Abnormal brain activity.
I don't know, your brain was pretty abnormal to begin with.
No doubt.
Look, I'll get out of here, let you get some rest.
Remember, you know who you are.
Be that.
You got that right.
I'm in.
He didn't come in today.
- Did he say why? - He didn't say anything.
He just didn't show up.
Is that unusual for him to not show up? Very.
Roger's one of my best trainers.
He's a beast.
An absolute killer.
- A killer? - Tough as nails, man.
He's an excellent instructor, and his students love him.
So he's likable.
When he wants to be.
And when he doesn't want to be? Get on his bad side and he'll rip your throat out.
- Hmm.
- Rip your throat out? We specialize in hand-to-hand combat.
Do you all work with knives in here? Knives, guns, machetes.
And what about Roger? Is he handy with a knife? Gut you like a deer if he had to.
You don't say.
Uh, any idea where we could find him today? If I did, I'd have done it already.
Missed three classes today.
Sounds like Roger the excellent trainer has some anger issues.
What we preach here is controlled rage.
Learning how to harness that anger for combat.
You ever seen Roger out of control? I've seen him get pretty close but never cross the line.
That's why he's one of the best fighters we got.
Hey, we're gonna postpone this budget thing.
Between us, I think Frank's a little rattled.
Well, a cop got shot.
What do you expect? How are you doing? I'm fine.
Everything I'm hearing, she's pretty well out of the woods.
Not that so much as There but for the grace of God.
- And my part in it.
- Your part? I came at her pretty hard when she was up here.
You gave as good as you got.
Yeah, but still, she wound up out there instead of in here.
And if she took a different subway that morning I hear you.
Garrett, thanks for the update.
Why don't you check social media posts, see if he posted anything with a location.
I'll check airports, see if he used his passport to leave the country.
- I don't think he left the country.
- Oh, you never know.
Actually, I do.
Roger? He showed up at my precinct.
Figured you want a word.
Definitely want a word.
You been drinking, Roger? Did a couple shots before coming here.
A little liquid courage for you? It's been a stressful couple of days.
Well, people do a lot of things out of character when they're stressed.
Doesn't make you a bad person.
- I didn't kill Mitchell.
- No one said you did.
- He thinks it.
- What makes you say that? You've been all over town looking for me.
My house, my job.
We wanted to ask you a few questions.
I'm not an idiot.
I know how bad this looks.
- How bad does it look? - She knows.
I mean, one minute me and him are screaming our heads off at each other, the next minute the guy shows up dead.
Things got pretty heated between you two fairly often over there? He poisoned my dog.
Someone did that to my dog, I'd lose my cool, too.
I didn't like the guy, but I didn't kill him.
Maybe you wanted to scare him.
You know, put the fear of God into him - so he'll never mess with you again.
- Not like that.
"Mess with my dog again and I'll rip your throat out.
" You mean more like that? It's my job to file an incident report.
Well, does it say in there that he threatened to kill my dog? It says plenty of other things in there.
Plenty of inflammatory things.
And nobody would think you're crazy for losing your cool if you did.
- I didn't do anything.
- Then why'd you run? You know, people who run tend to do it for a reason, because they have something to hide.
'Cause I knew how bad it looked.
That's why I went to see her.
I realized I was only making myself look more guilty.
And you helped yourself by going to see her.
Why don't you help yourself again and just tell us what really happened.
Anything I say only digs the hole deeper.
You know, you may not be in as much trouble as you think, Roger.
You want to know what I think? You look like a decent guy who found himself in an impossible situation and reacted.
Someone carrying a lot of weight around.
You unload it, you're gonna feel a lot better.
What do you say? I thought you had him.
He was right there, wasn't he? So you definitely think he did it? Nothing's ever definite until it's definite.
You sounded pretty definite in there, like you didn't have any doubt.
There's always doubt.
I mean, not enough to take him off the front burner.
All arrows do seem to point in his direction.
You were asking him to confess.
You'd be surprised how many times a perp will tell you the truth if you just ask him for the truth.
He seemed like he was in some kind of pain.
It's a lot of weight to carry around on your shoulders.
A toxic ton.
Yeah, but people don't want to send themselves to jail for the rest of their life.
But you can never underestimate the mental torture of guilt either.
So you do think he did it.
I think we need to keep investigating.
wants to see me and my partner.
I'll let you know where that leads.
I know what you're all thinking.
How did the biggest guy in the building get the smallest office? But that should tell you all you need to know about Anthony.
All heart, no ego.
- Hear, hear.
- He's been a friend, a trusted colleague, and now I am pleased to introduce him to you as the new chief investigator.
None of that's necessary.
Take a bow.
Take a bow.
Thank you, guys.
Look, uh, you know, when this first came up, I wanted no part of it.
I wanted what all of you want: for Charlie here to stay on forever.
Um, excuse me.
Reagan is here to see you.
Tell her I'm in a meeting.
What can I say? I'll probably fall on my face a hundred times trying to fill this great man's shoes.
But I will work like hell to prove myself worthy of this honor.
Thank you, Charlie.
The thing that cripples us all, most of all guilt.
About Reddick? Her exodus from One PP.
She stays up here, she doesn't become another cop shot.
Yeah, but that's not on him.
Sure, they sparred a bit, but everything was above board.
Sid played fair.
His victory was her departure.
I don't know about that.
There were others that share the blame on that front.
Frank? Well, he blames himself for everything.
The heavy head of the crown got a little heavier, I'm sure.
Look, it was us.
He could see it wasn't a great fit.
He could see she was of greater value - out there than up here.
- Agreed.
But if you didn't mean Frank, then who shares the blame? The first woman in a dog's age arrived here on the 14th.
Not to meet some quota, mind you, but because she was sharp as a tack.
Proved that on her first day.
And how did I welcome her? With the open arms I always told myself I would, or the cold shoulder of career insecurity? Abby.
That was a rhetorical question, if you couldn't tell.
Abigail, that's ridiculous.
You were plenty decent to her.
I guess we did sorta Push her out the door.
I sounded like a moron today.
Not at all.
You were great.
That was not great.
You were great, as usual.
Look, over time you develop a feel for the job.
It will come.
Trust me.
You see, right there.
That's what I'm talking about.
You know exactly the right thing to say to lift a guy's spirits or to keep him motivated.
I mean, how do you do that? Much as I wish it were so, I'm no artist.
No virtuoso, no athletic phenom.
But I recognized early that didn't mean I had to go without my masterpiece.
I had my life's work in my hands.
I vowed to make it a Rembrandt.
This was never a job to me, Anthony.
Tell me again why you're retiring.
I'm at that age.
You know, kids are grown and out of the house.
I just don't have the same passion for the work that I used to.
You're nervous about being the boss.
Something I picked up along the way: do the thing that scares you most.
All the best things in life are on the other side of that fear.
Hey, Dad.
Your mom would be mad at me.
I think at this point Mom would be okay.
You know that look.
"Not in my kitchen you don't.
" Your sister sent you.
Mom's Irish soda bread.
This is for the, uh, St.
Paddy's She said, "I'm worried about the old man.
Go check on him.
" You know how much easier it would have been to be your kid if you were a fireman? Wasn't in the cards.
Whole department's pulling for Detective Reddick.
I know I don't need to say it.
Then don't.
It's not on you.
Of course it is.
It always is.
I'm the police commissioner.
Yeah, but this isn't a conscription army.
Every one of us in uniform chose this life.
But guilt ain't the thing that's got me singing this sad song.
Then what? Well, she's gonna recover from the gunshot completely, but she says the fall might have caused some brain damage.
- Brain damage? - Yeah.
But it was a load of crap.
She made it up.
Doctor confided in me she wants to stay put.
She asked him to buy her some time.
PTSD? Or something like that.
And you can't call her out on it.
So you got to keep up the charade to her and for her.
You've thought about bringing in a psychologist, but the moment he walks in the door she'll know what's up.
And? Proud cop like that may never recover from the embarrassment, so you got to maintain the charade.
What else? You're betting on time.
You're betting that she'll get there on her own.
And if she doesn't? It'll be you that has to walk her through it.
You know, I wouldn't wish my job on anybody, but if you were ever so inclined you'd be really good at it.
I'm not so inclined.
Happy to hear it.
You summoned us, oh, mighty one? There on the table.
Couldn't have just, uh, emailed it to us? Had to have us come all the way down for this? Well, you know how I like spending time together.
And that.
I wanted to see that look on your face when you read it.
Myocardial infarction? This isn't a mistake? I don't make mistakes.
- Well, except for my three marriages.
- Three? Okay, but the vic had multiple stab wounds.
Half a dozen.
So how is that a heart attack? They were all received postmortem.
He was already dead? Not for long, but, you know, dead is dead.
Come on, let's go, let's go, come on.
You didn't kill your neighbor.
- What? - He was already dead.
- What are you talking about? - Your neighbor, who died of a heart attack.
So if you stabbed him, you were stabbing a dead man.
So it's not murder? No.
In fact, I don't even think it's attempted murder.
At least not technically.
So, less jail time.
You worried about going to jail, Roger? Well, yeah, of course.
I mean, I know how bad this all looks for me.
Roger, did you stab Mitchell? No, no.
I already told you that.
Because if you did, now would be the time to say so, right? Like I said, he was already dead.
We're gonna continue to break into teams.
Each team will be assigned a trial bureau.
Nothing's written in stone.
Anthony, did you hear that? Hello? Earth to Anthony.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's up? Did you hear anything I was saying? Uh, I-I'm sorry, I didn't.
Not exactly setting the best example here, buddy.
I'm sorry about that.
Why don't you walk us through the steps on how to properly file your weekly reports? Okay.
Uh You know, I'm good.
Pardon? Uh, why don't you guys carry on without me? But this is for you.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, uh, I don't think so.
It's a lot of busywork.
It's kind of not my bag.
But this is how we do things.
It's important that you understand Yeah, i-it's how we used to do things.
What do you mean by that? I guess I mean there's a new sheriff in town, and he ain't into paperwork like the old sheriff.
How much longer they got you cooped up in here? The million-dollar question.
Hard charger like you, you must be dying.
Doctor's orders, one day at a time, yada yada yada.
Is this a pancake or a Frisbee? I thought you were here to cheer me up, not piss me off.
Exactly why we're here.
We got an idea.
I hope you didn't hurt yourself too much coming up with it.
Still a pain in the ass.
She seems fine to me.
What's the idea? Something we'd like to take your temperature on.
It's gonna take some heavy lifting.
So we wanted to make sure it's something you're even interested in before we float it.
Why? - Why what? - Why are you guys here doing this big heavy lifting thing for me? Because we all feel crappy about the way we treated you.
I was no angel myself.
Far from it.
Devil woman.
Ha! You loved it.
Now quit flirting with me and give me the big news.
We want you to come back to One PP.
Seriously? Nothing to worry about.
It's good as done.
The commissioner's on board.
Who's minding the store? Boss? - Commissioner.
- Frank.
Could I please have the room? You gonna tell me what that was all about? What what's about? I just walked you step by step through a system I spent the last 20 years developing and refining, and you shot down every one of those practices with little more than a wave of your hand.
Charlie, I got to do it my way, don't I? Not right out of the gate.
Maybe over time you can make minor adjustments, but this system works.
- Don't fix what ain't broke.
- Exactly.
Now come back and reassure the team that you're on board with the program.
I'm sorry, Charlie, I can't do that.
It's my way or the highway, as they say.
You ungrateful little Listen to me, I will not stand idly by watching you destroy everything I built before your ass even hits the seat.
You're gonna do it my way, and that's an order! You know, Charlie, you don't sound like a guy who, uh, lost the fire for the job.
What? Yeah.
The other night, that's what you said to me.
You were retiring because you lost your passion for the job.
Well, yeah.
Something don't add up, Charlie.
I'm beginning to think I picked the wrong guy to succeed me.
That's part of it.
We like each other, but I was never your go-to guy.
Sure you were.
Nah, not really.
Now why don't you tell me why you're really leaving the job? I told you why.
You fed me a line of bull.
Now I want to know, why are you really leaving the job, Charlie? I figured it out, why nobody likes you.
Well, that's some opener to your apology.
My apology? Yes! For storming out of here, for turning me away from your door, for, for ignoring me all week.
Yeah, 'cause you showed zero faith in me.
Will you stop being such a baby? It wasn't personal.
Oh, now I'm a baby.
Talk about missing the mark on your apology.
I have nothing to apologize for.
- Well, neither do I.
- Then why are you here? 'Cause you suck.
Well, flattery will get you nowhere.
Yeah, you suck because you're right.
Because you're always right.
And that's why nobody likes me? Correctamundo.
What happened? You know what happened.
Crawford's behind your promotion.
To separate us.
To piss you off.
Peterson spilled the beans to me.
I am so sorry, Anthony.
Yeah, well, don't be.
I'm happy about it.
I never wanted that job to begin with.
Then why are you so pissed at me? Because I wanted you to want me to want it.
Anthony, I do want you to want it, but I want you to want it when I'm D.
, not now.
Not like this.
I need you here.
You're the only one I trust.
Well, you should have said so.
You're right.
You're right.
And know this.
The way you made me feel if I ever feel that way again, the last thing you'll ever see of me is the back of my head.
Capisce? "Ca-peach.
" Oof, you're so Irish.
" Ca-peace? Please stop, you're hurting me.
Come on.
We gonna have lunch or what? First of all We got the son of a bitch who shot you.
And I promise you I will do whatever it takes to see that he is prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Second You put on a pretty good show for the team.
Still not ready, huh? You know.
Well, I've been where you are.
Are you angry? Far cry.
You value honesty above all else, and I have been dishonest with you.
Ah, complicated truth.
I appreciate the effort to be understanding, but it's still there.
You have the answer, but can you show the work? People think your demand for honesty comes from a strictness, but that's not it.
You're telling me what something is not.
You're trying to buy time.
You genuinely want to help people.
A lot of people say that.
Especially cops.
But with you it's really true.
And if people don't share what's hurting them, you can't help them.
Well when you want to go home and you're ready to talk call me.
Unit 12 is on the scene.
Elevator's down.
We had to take the stairs.
I told you I will kill you! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I told you! Roger, get your hands off him.
Let him go, get your hands Keep your hands up.
- Keep your hands up.
- He's a complete psycho! - I caught him spying on me.
- What is that? It's a camera.
There's multiple on the balcony.
Probably been there for months.
- Is that true? - I have no idea.
I've never seen that before in my life.
Then why does the wire run right into your apartment? I have no idea.
Maybe Mitchell put it there.
- Why would he do that? - So they could know when I'm not home.
Probably how they were able to poison my dog.
For the last time, we didn't poison your dog.
How did you find that? I'm out there tonight minding my own business, having a cigar.
I notice this little green light poking out of the bushes.
Creep's probably watching me undress.
Oh, please, don't flatter yourself.
Hey, keep an eye on them.
You two, stay where you are.
Danny, I'm gonna need a search warrant.
There you go.
- It was Jonathan? - Yep.
But why? The day you showed up and they were at each other's throats, Mitchell and Jonathan actually turned up the music to drown out the sounds of their lovers' quarrel.
Lovers' quarrel, those two? Mitchell was having an affair.
- No.
- Yep.
Jonathan found out earlier that day.
Jonathan got pissed, got drunk, got angrier.
Came home that night with vengeance on his mind.
He's the one that stabbed Mitchell? Not knowing that his husband was already dead.
I literally can't believe this.
Nobody saw it coming.
Maybe Mitchell is reaching back from the beyond to make sure that we got that video.
Oh, you mean, like he's sending us clues from the other side? Mitchell's the one that planted the video camera, right? Well, a few months back, after the incident with Roger and the dog.
You know, he was a little scared of a retaliation.
What's gonna happen to Jonathan? Can't charge him with murder.
His husband was already dead.
But the D.
is gonna try to charge him with attempted murder.
Well, maybe his husband is gonna reach out and keep haunting him from the beyond.
Well, there's always that.
Doctor finally signed off yesterday.
She was released last night.
Pretty remarkable recovery.
A Christmas miracle.
In March.
Well, Santa works in mysterious ways.
Maybe she got better so quick on account of my offer to bring her back here to One PP.
Your offer? Well, your offer.
Excuse me? Yeah, I got a little carried away.
That one's on me.
No, that's not true.
We're all in this together.
Yeah, we should have cleared it with you first.
So now you guys think you can treat her the way you treat each other? She busts balls, I got to give it right back.
Like family.
That's why she called.
I mean, she wouldn't tell me what it was about.
She just said, "I want to give you the answer in person.
" Well Jimmy, let's have her.
Detective Reddick, sir.
Good morning, everyone.
Your old spot.
Congrats on an amazing recovery.
Yeah, about that The doctors weren't keeping me there.
I was keeping myself there.
Why would you do that? Because I was scared.
So you were lying to us? Told you, I'm no angel.
You're a good liar.
When you're a kid and you don't like your life but you have no clue how to change it yet, you make believe instead.
Becomes a habit.
I built a persona.
A tough-as-nails, type A overachiever who could do it all.
But I forgot there was a person under the persona.
That's really self-aware of you.
Oh, I can't take the credit.
A friend helped me see it.
Don't give away the credit so quickly.
It's no easy task admitting to yourself and to others what you just did.
As soon as I did, I felt better and ready to get back to work.
With us.
What's the hesitation? A post at One PP has been a lifelong goal, and working with you guys has been the best kind of challenge, and also a pleasure.
But if I get behind a desk now instead of back in the saddle, I'll always second-guess it.
There's nothing to second-guess.
You already proved that you can more than handle it out there.
And we don't want you up here out of guilt.
I think we need you.
But I need to get back out there.
And thank you.
Welcome back.
- Happy St.
Paddy's Day.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Wait, why are none of you Reagan boys named Patrick? I thought that all Irish families had at least one Patrick.
- Wasn't in the cards.
- Was almost in the cards.
- One for you.
- Oh Oh, it's so cute.
What do I do with it? - You drown it.
- Drown it? Yeah, in the whiskey.
Just like that.
- Aw.
- Yeah, don't worry.
It's not gonna feel a thing.
Yeah, it's dead.
Joke's on you.
So which one of you was it? Which of us was what? The "almost Patrick.
" Well, it wasn't one of us.
Yeah, not us.
It was her.
If I was a boy.
And Francis was convinced that she was.
Her mom, too, don't forget.
Not me, dear.
I knew from day one.
I wanted them to name you Fart.
No, he's not kidding.
I was four.
Yeah, well, thankfully that one didn't get too much traction.
- Not for lack of effort, Dad.
- Thank you.
No, "Ireland forever" it would be.
There you go.
Ireland forever? Erin go bragh, numbnuts.
Oh, so that's what that means.
Five generations of Reagans are rolling over in their graves right now.
Sean, Sean, you are not deserving of the good Irish name you were given.
I should've named him Fart.
On that note May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields.
Till we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.
Happy St.
Patrick's Day.
Happy St.
Patrick's Day.
You grab the stem.
There you go.
I got it.
Yeah! Hey, I'm Irish.
Kiss me, I'm Irish.
There you go.
I'm Irish! I'm Irish! You're Irish.

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