Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s02e05 Episode Script

Sleeping Next to an Old Boat

1 Dele, if you are still here, you are late o! Mum, I need you to sign this.
Is it your report card? Yes.
Olu, gather round! The boy has brought his grades! Why are you just showing this to me now? I forgot.
You just sign 98 Ah-ah 91 in math.
No, surely that one is a seven.
It is 91.
That's still an "A.
" How would you know? You got a 91 in math.
There was a particularly difficult pop quiz on inverse fractions.
Then you should have studied.
I didn't know the quiz was coming.
That's why they use the word "pop.
" Oh, so you have all the answers now.
Where were they when the quiz popped? Good morning.
It was.
I'll get my things.
Show him the shameful report card.
Aw, I've been there, man.
Wait a minute, no, I haven't.
These are all As.
I made the same mistake.
That seven is a one.
Well, not for nothing, but a 91 still got me five bucks from my mom.
Well, that was the rule five bucks an "A.
" Why would she pay you for something that already benefits you? Did she reward you for brushing your teeth, too? Sometimes.
If this is what you're like when he gets an "A," what are you gonna do if he gets a "B"? It only happened once.
I had pneumonia.
Walking pneumonia.
Thank you for the ride.
I'm happy to do it.
Hey, what do you think about Dele and me spending some time together? - Why? - I'm gonna be his stepdad.
We should be buddies.
You should have buddies your own age.
I do.
I mean, I did.
I work a lot.
I just think Dele and I should have a bond.
The bond will be when you tell him to do something, - he will obey you.
- So I'm just gonna order him to be my buddy? - There will be no buddying.
- I just want to spend some time with the kid.
What if I put him to work? Work is good, but he has to work.
None of this five dollars for nothing.
Fine, I won't even give him water if you don't want me to.
What? What is wrong with you? - No, I was just - What if he gets thirsty? He can have a water break whenever he wants.
Whenever he wants? Just tell me the right thing to say and I will say it.
Thank you, Doctor.
Could I ask you a question? If my husband was dead, absolutely.
- What? - Huh? Did you reward your children for good grades? Sure did let 'em live in my house till they were 18.
Bob said his mother paid him when he did well in school.
I thought maybe it was an American thing.
It's a white thing.
First they pay the kid.
Then they pay the tutor.
And if the kid's still an idiot, they just pay the school.
I always worked hard in my studies.
For me, it was a matter of pride.
And because if you didn't, you'd get smacked.
Sometimes beating is the only way to really communicate with a child.
Girl, you can't say stuff like that.
I thought we felt the same way.
We do we just can't feel the same way out loud.
In Nigeria, when a child misbehaves, everybody's allowed to communicate with them.
Friends, family, perfect strangers.
That's why Dele's the most respectful young man I've ever met.
Mm-hmm, I trained him well.
All I have to do is give him a look.
I've seen that look.
Ooh, not that one.
Damn! There we go.
It's kind of heavy.
- Yeah.
- Are you thirsty? We could take a break, have a soda.
Uh, no, I'm fine.
Come on, you gonna make me drink alone? Thank you.
So, how's school? You were there, Bob.
Have I not been shamed enough? I'm not talking about your grades, which were great, by the way.
I'm talking about the other stuff.
You got any friends? Who's asking? I am.
- Who are you telling? - Nobody.
Then, yes.
I have friends.
Ooh, I'm gonna have to tell your mom.
- What?! - I'm just kidding.
That's what buddies do they kid around.
But you're not my buddy.
You're my elder.
Right, about all that, listen.
If you have any questions, maybe questions you feel like you can't talk to your mom about, I'm your guy.
Thank you, Bob.
I do have one question.
- Are you a hoarder? - What do you mean? You have a lot of things.
Old things, new things, never-opened things.
I'm not a hoarder.
I don't think.
Don't you ever just buy something because it makes you feel better? Like medicine? Well, kind of.
Retail therapy, you know? No, I don't know.
Yeah, I guess you wouldn't.
You can't just walk up to your mom and go, "Let's get an Xbox.
" I don't even think she'd let me do that.
She definitely wouldn't.
Yeah, you're right.
You've been busting your ass today.
Anything you see in here that you're interested in, it's yours.
I can't do that.
Come on, I'm just gonna throw this stuff out.
You're gonna throw away this record player? Lot of old records, too.
- You like Bob Seger? - Who? "Night Moves"? "Old Time Rock and Roll"? "Ramblin' Gamblin' Man"? Is this a riddle? All right, now I'm really worried about your education.
That's it, you're taking all this stuff.
I can't do that.
Yes, you can.
I'm your elder.
And I insist.
Then I have no choice.
And I insist you drink that Coke.
Yes, Mr.
And kick back, take a pause for the cause.
Sit! You know, those hoarders have a lot of cats.
I don't have any cats.
The robot is fantastic.
We should have gotten one of these years ago.
I assumed it wouldn't do a proper job.
Forgive my foolishness, little friend.
Quiet, efficient, and it will never get tired.
It's like a little mechanical immigrant.
- Karo, Auntie, Uncle.
- Karo.
Ah! You bought one of these robot vacuum cleaners? We would never be stupid enough to waste money - on something like this.
- It's Bob's.
He gave it to Dele.
And why would Dele come back Ah, ah, ah, ah, go away! We are busy cleaning.
This robot is very impressive.
Ooh, and-and look at the path it leaves.
You can tell where it has been and where the floor is still dirty.
I washed the floors yesterday.
The robot seems to disagree.
Look, he's off to check how well you cleaned the kitchen.
It's like your mother has come to visit.
As long as we can make it - To the show tonight - Ah! What is this? Uh, Grand Funk Railroad.
Bob is my elder and insisted that I take it.
He assures me it is very good for my education.
And all of this? Oh, uh, it will also help.
With the second monitor, I can study two subjects simultaneously.
I see.
I want to rectify my unacceptable math grade and restore our family honor.
Bob gave you all of this? He was throwing it all away.
And my wise mother taught me never to be wasteful.
I also brought you a gift.
Ah, I don't want this ridiculous thing.
Pull on the ends.
I don't like this.
It's also heated.
Oh! That is even worse.
Tunde, do you hear that? Tunde! Like sleeping next to an old boat.
You have done a wonderful job, little robot.
Perhaps I don't keep this house as spotless as I used to.
Maybe I can no longer scrub on my hands and knees, and rely too much on my "As Seen on TV" Magic Mop.
That's not my fault.
That's where Tunde eats his toast.
Olu? Olu? Let's let her sleep.
Her battery does not last as long as yours.
Oh, my God.
Can you move your bag? - Are you elderly or pregnant? - No.
Well, I am both.
Move along.
E karo.
E karo, Kemi.
What are you doing here? I'm going to work.
Did something happen to Bob's Cadillac? What are you talking about? You haven't taken the bus for three weeks, and now you're here; I assumed the worst.
- Bob is fine.
- And the Cadillac? It is fine.
Bob just had an early meeting.
Oh, so now you are back among the bus people.
Kemi Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
Look at them.
We are bus people.
No, I am a person who rides the bus.
Big difference.
And you escaped this life when you got off at Rich Fiancé Boulevard.
- That is not what happened.
- Of course it is.
And I've never been more proud of you.
Every day as I ride alone, I am comforted knowing that my friend's backside is being caressed by the soft, imported leather of Bob's Cadillac.
You must leave here and never come back, unless it's to take me with you.
I will ride in the trunk.
Please, just save me from these people.
You are a curious little robot.
Curious for crumbs.
What is wrong? I'm old and useless.
You are not so useless.
And we are both old.
It's wonderful.
We get discounts everywhere.
I'm sorry I'm not the woman you married.
You are as beautiful as the day I met you.
That is true.
But I cannot maintain the household the way I used to.
That's why we have the robot.
How long until a robot replaces me in other parts of the house? - Wh-What other parts? - This bed.
Is that possible? You see? You are curious.
No You will never be replaced.
You will always be my little Olu.
And you my big Tunde.
Ah! Not in front of the robot.
Get out! I ate crackers in the living room.
I'm sorry, Annie Well, after you guys are done with your drinks, would you like to order some appetizers? No, thanks.
We filled up on chips.
Oh, hey, did you have some underage kid doing work for you in the garage? That's not some kid, that's Dele.
Oh, right.
Who's Dele? Abishola's son.
- Right.
Your new stepson.
- Yep.
Raising a kid is a big responsibility.
- Are you sure you're up for it? - Yeah, of course.
When Dad died, I practically raised you two.
I don't think you want to use us as references.
I mean, I hide it pretty well, but I've got some emotional issues.
And I don't even hide my problems.
- Hey.
- My son does not need any of your garbage.
Be thankful.
He gave him garbage instead of baggage.
The service here sucks anyway.
What's going on? You see those two? That is what happens when you grow up spoiled.
No, that is what happens when your mother drinks.
I cannot have my son around that.
I cannot have him around this.
What are you talking about? Whatever you want, you just buy.
You do not work for it.
Hey, everything I have, I got through hard work.
- Bob.
- What? You know I run a company, right? A family company that was handed to you.
Oh, okay.
So that automatically means I don't work hard.
Dele needs to know this is not how the real world is.
Nothing is going to be handed to him.
He was not born on easy street.
- Like me.
- Exactly.
Okay, well, it's good to know what you really think.
Thanks for stopping by.
For the record, I would never question your work ethic.
How could you? I've worked for everything I have.
Ah, great, just back the car up - and run me over one more time.
- I do not have a car.
I'm a bus person.
- Push, Mrs.
- I am.
It's too heavy.
- You are doing it.
- Are you watching the same show I am? It's not moving.
I need a break.
I heard you and Bob fighting, you know.
Sounded like a doozy.
It was quite an ija.
What does that mean? Doozy.
You think he's soft, don't you? Only because he has never had to be anything else.
Abishola, I love you, but you don't know what the hell you're talking about.
He cries when the plane flies over the football field before the game starts.
So he's sensitive.
That doesn't mean he's weak.
You didn't see him after his father's funeral, when he told me he was leaving college so we wouldn't have to shut down the company.
A 20-year-old kid learning the business on the fly.
He's the one that kept this family afloat.
I did not know.
Well, now you do.
And don't you ever forget it.
Perhaps I underestimated your children.
No, no, no, just Bob.
The other two are as worthless as my left arm.
Aw, give me the damn weight.
Um, can we talk for a moment, please? I'm a little busy.
I'm halfway through my "never going camping" section.
- At least let me help you.
- Uh-uh.
I don't need anything handed to me.
Why have I never heard the story of what you did for your family? What are you talking about? How there would be no company if it were not for you.
I don't know if I'd put it that way.
That's the way your mother put it.
Really? Was she drinking brandy? Brandy makes her nice.
If I knew that story, I would never have said those things about you.
Oh, I see.
So it's my fault for not telling you.
It's no one's fault.
- But if there were blame to be placed - Okay.
I'm glad to have you in my life and Dele's.
I regret saying anything that made you feel differently.
So you're sorry.
- Again, if you had just given me all the information - Oh, my God.
Is this what our life is gonna be like? Yes.
I can live with that.
Okay, my friend, I am sorry to say this is where we part.
While you have brightened my life and my floors, you have tracked muddy footprints all over my marriage.
Good luck.
It is a dirty world out there.
Don't look back.
Just go.

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