Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s02e13 Episode Script

A Big African Bassoon

1 And whatever you do, please don't mess with the shift schedule.
It took a long time to optimize, okay? Certain people can't work together 'cause they hate each other, others can't work together 'cause they can't keep their hands off each other.
Can I sit in your charge nurse chair while you are on vacation? No! Pay attention! These shift assignments are a delicate dance.
The key is to spread the idiots out where they can do the least damage.
What do you think? "Charge Nurse Abishola Adebambo.
" You forgot the word "temporary.
" It would not fit.
All right.
I hope you can handle all this, 'cause I'll be off the grid for two weeks.
Me and my husband, buck naked in a hot spring.
Enjoy sleeping in your car.
It's an RV.
(PHONE VIBRATING) Hello, Mummy, I can't talk right now.
My shift is about to start.
Ah, she's leaving.
I am the boss.
Okay, Mummy.
Ooh, look who is in charge.
Come, come, come.
- My mother wants a photo.
- Mm-hmm.
Don't smile, you are a leader! - Mm-hmm.
- Did you get the sign? Take another one, take another one.
Brody leave sufficient - bowel protocol for Room 411? - JANE: He did.
We increased his laxatives, so we should see some movement today.
That is music to my ears.
All right, have a great shift, everyone.
If you need me, I'll be at my desk.
Which is, of course, the charge nurse desk.
Kathy, may I speak with you a moment? Of course.
I am going to need your help the next two weeks.
As you know, we are down one of our most vital nurses.
Gloria's the best.
I was talking about me.
- Oh.
- When Gloria is here, she has me to lean on.
Now that I am Gloria, I'm going to need an Abishola.
You will be my Abishola.
- Okay.
- I know you can do this.
You are smart and hardworking.
Thank you.
If I had one critique, it would be you can be extremely unprofessional.
Excuse me? Personal phone calls at work, the sad demeanor, screaming at the strange man in the lobby.
Well, that's my husband.
We're going through something.
And that is something I should not know.
(VOICE BREAKING): It's just been so h-hard.
Oh, no, no, no, please, Kathy.
I cannot lean on you if you are crying.
(CRYING): I'm so sorry.
Abishola would not cry! How long's it take to make a sandwich? I'm going as fast as I can, Mom.
Abishola usually gives me lunch by 11:30.
Well, she's a charge nurse now.
She has more important things to do.
So she gets a promotion and I'm left here to chew on my tongue? Your entire family is here taking care of you.
And yet I'm still starving.
Who would've thunk it? Little blue ones are tranquilizers, right? That's not funny, Douglas! Christina, we could use some help here! CHRISTINA: I'm setting up Mom's workout! So, how long is Abishola going to be doing this little hospital side job? You mean her career? All right, keep your bra on, Murphy Brown.
You're all set in there, Mom.
Thought we could switch up physical therapy with a little wheelchair Zumba.
Well, I don't want to do that.
That's not how Abishola does it.
Well, that's how Christina does it, so let's boogie.
- I don't want to boogie.
- Oh, come on.
- It'll be fun.
- But what about lunch? Uh, you can eat later.
Ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride Ain't nothing gonna hold me down - I'm hungry! - Oh, no - I've got to keep on - Sucks getting old, huh? Yep.
I'm basically holding Mom's life in my hands.
One pill in the wrong place and poof she's gone.
You want me to take over for you, buddy? I think you should.
- - (LAUGHTER) Jane, you are terrible.
(GASPS) Hello.
You don't have to leave.
You still have three minutes, 20 seconds left on your break.
What did she just say? Oh, it's not important.
Tell me.
She just doesn't like her boss.
But I am her boss.
Well, then you get it.
But I'm nice to Jane.
She's one of the only good nurses on the floor.
And you told her that in front of everybody.
And now they think she is your spy.
Is she your spy? No, Kathy is my spy.
I'm just trying to show the others their weaknesses, so that they can improve.
Believe me, I understand how motivating shame and humiliation can be, but they are not like us.
Americans have a saying, "You catch more flies with honey.
" That is ridiculous.
Of course it is.
You and I both know you catch more flies with feces.
But if I push them to their potential, they will look good in management's eyes.
You mean, you will look good in management's eyes.
Of course.
I am just a reflection of everyone.
Imagine if after these two weeks, management looks at these nurses and sees a highly productive, hardworking department full of me.
(SHUDDERS) What? Oh, nothing.
Just imagining more than one of you.
(SHUDDERS FORCEFULLY) Would you like some more egusi soup, Bob? How could I ever say no to you, Auntie? (GIGGLING) And thanks again for dinner.
If I had to be stood up, I'm glad I could be with you guys.
I'm sorry.
When you work as hard as Abishola, these things happen.
Ah, it's no big deal, it's just a crazy couple of weeks for her.
That is a good attitude.
Cling to that.
What do you mean? She's Nigerian.
Until she reaches her career goals, nothing will stand in Abishola's way.
No matter how lovable that "nothing" might be.
(CHUCKLES) Well I'm happy for her.
I know being charge nurse - has been her goal for a while.
- Oh! It is an excellent stepping-stone on her way to becoming a nurse manager.
Then director of nursing services.
Then hospital supervisor.
Then chief nursing officer.
Wow, that's a lot of "thens.
" Yes, it is.
And there will be more.
But you guys have let yourselves slow down.
Now that we are retired, - we are enjoying our golden years.
- (CHUCKLES) UNCLE TUNDE: Yes, every day I wake up, I check my stocks over breakfast, then I visit my various real estate holdings, at least the ones in Michigan.
I didn't know you owned property.
Own, manage, maintain.
I am currently in a bidding war for a new quadplex in Lansing.
Sounds stressful.
Not if I win.
And I will win, Bob.
And what about you, Auntie? You running a sweatshop out of your closet? (LAUGHS) Not a sweatshop.
An Etsy shop.
Olu's hand-sewn head wraps and skirts have over 10,000 five-star reviews.
And one three-star.
Oh, Penny from Phoenix.
Is it my fault she gained weight faster than my shipping? Olu is the third top seller.
Behind a dog clothing company and a cat clothing company.
But mark my words, I will be first.
Then I will expand to QVC.
And there's the "then.
" You are learning.
And what's on your to-do list, Dele? Cure cancer? (CHUCKLES) Yes.
Oluwa mi o.
Kathy, please, what have we said about you being professional? Oh, they're not for me.
They're for you.
What? My husband would never be that thoughtful.
(CRYING) (PHONE RINGING) Hey, charge nurse, you get my flowers? How could you do this to me? Oh, no, are they ugly? They never look the same as the picture.
They are beautiful and they should not be here.
But they're your favorite.
I am trying to set an example for these nurses.
And now you have undermined my authority with this lovely gesture.
Wait, does this mean you like 'em or you hate 'em? Both! And now you've made me make this personal call.
I was just trying to be supportive.
I know that and it's very thoughtful.
Now never send me flowers again.
Um Give this to the dying man in Room 412.
Wait, wait, wait.
Now go.
I googled that word.
I know you're calling me a witch.
Or a magician! Hello! Hello.
Up top, Doc.
(WOMAN CRYING) Oh, poor, pathetic Kathy.
A-Abishola? Close the door.
(DOOR CLOSES) Why are you crying? (SNIFFLES) Don't look at me.
To wipe the tears.
And the boogers on your chin.
- They have all left me.
- Who? My good nurses.
They have traded shifts, so now I'm left with the idiots.
Who are too stupid to transfer out of their shift.
I'm sure it's not personal.
Okay, we both know it's personal.
(CRYING) I cannot believe I'm failing.
Abishola, you are good at everything.
You always have been.
And I will only say this once, but sometimes, I am jealous of you.
What? (LAUGHS SOFTLY) I told you I would only say it once.
So what if you are not immediately good at being charge nurse? So what if the other nurses hate you and call you bruha? You will study, you will learn, you'll become good at it just like you do everything else.
Thank you.
- I should go back out there.
- Uh-uh, no, no, no.
Not until you've pulled yourself together, hmm? What about now? Stay in the closet awhile.
Nobody will miss you.
Ketchup? You know, I got to tell you, as good as this is, McDonald's is always better when you eat it there.
And you can get high and crawl around in the PlayPlace.
I wonder what Abishola's doing right now.
Probably saving somebody's life.
- Yeah.
- Probably.
Does it bother you that she's a better person than all three of us combined? A little.
Not enough to do anything about it.
You know, I called her a little while ago.
Just to check in.
- And? - She couldn't talk.
- Hmm.
- She was too busy.
Of course she was.
You know, I think I understand why some people don't like immigrants.
'Cause they make us feel bad about ourselves? Exactly.
Always working their asses off.
Hey, we work our asses off.
Do we? Well, at least I have an excuse.
I had a stroke.
Rub it in, why don't you? What do you think she's doing now? I'm gonna call her.
(GASPS) Put it on speakerphone.
- ABISHOLA: Hello? - ALL: Hi! - We miss you.
- What are you doing? We're eating McDonald's.
Hello? What do you think? That is a very large boat.
The Sundancer 320.
When I retire, it's gonna be mine.
When you retire? Yeah, I work hard.
My fiancée works even harder.
When are we gonna get a chance to enjoy ourselves? If you follow the righteous path, in the afterlife.
The only path I'm following is to the boat show.
We're gonna travel the world, maybe get a house in Italy near Clooney.
He means George Clooney.
I know that.
It is a very nice fantasy, Mr.
It's not a fantasy.
Well, okay, maybe the Clooney part, but the rest of it's happening.
She's never gonna retire, is she? - No.
- But if it is any consolation, neither will you.
What are you talking about? I'm looking at boats.
Wheeler, you have inherited your father's work ethic.
It is a trait that we, as Nigerians, have always admired.
My dad died of a heart attack on the loading dock.
An honorable death.
But I don't want to die here.
It doesn't have to be here.
It can be at home.
After a long day here.
That's not helping.
We should get back to work.
Yeah, I'll see you guys later.
I really want to die on a boat.
ANNOUNCEMENT) (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) (LAUGHS) Damn, I should leave more often.
Never, ever leave again.
All right.
Hello, Gloria.
Welcome back.
How'd it go? It went well.
Although the nurses proved a little more difficult to manage than I expected.
Managing the nurses is kind of the whole job.
In that case, it did not go well.
Yeah, I might've gotten a few phone calls and some texts.
Someone even got ahold of the fax machine at the RV park.
I bet it was Kathy.
She's such a crybaby.
Listen, if this job was just about working hard and being smart, you'd be all over it.
But a big part of it is massaging egos and knowing exactly what your nurses need to hear.
Maybe you should have explained that better to me before you left.
You're right.
If I'd explained it better, you'd have done the job perfectly.
That's what I was thinking.
Well, I'll keep that in mind for the next time.
And I'll make a list of other areas where you can improve.
Lucky me.
Can't wait to see it.
(PHONE VIBRATING) Hello? Yeah, I got some flowers here.
I'm trying to figure out who they're from.
There should be a card.
Yeah, there is.
It says "Abishola," but I figured it's a mistake because I know how you feel about flowers at work.
Very funny.
It was sweet of you to send me flowers the other day.
I should not have reacted the way I did.
Well, you were under a lot of pressure.
And for what? Did you know the charge nurses spend far less time with patients? I did not.
And above that, the head nurse is not on the floor at all.
With each promotion, you get further away from taking care of people.
Well, maybe you learned you're happy where you're at.
That makes it worthwhile.
No, I do not want to do this forever.
Really? Not when I have other options that can make me happier.
I am so glad to hear you say that.
I have decided to become a doctor.
I got to learn to let you finish.
It's going to be a long, hard road, but I know I can be great at it.
I know you can, too.
So, what are we talking? - Six years of school? - Eight.
Then residency, then fellowship, then specialization.
And there's the "thens.
" I know.
Isn't it great? Yeah.
Good morning.
ALL: Hi! Well, don't just sit there, Douglas.
Take her coat.
Allow me.
- Thank you.
- Would you like some tea, coffee oh, kombucha? Thank you, I'm okay.
Please, let us serve you.
Yeah, w-why don't you sit down and I'll make you some scrambled eggs? - Oh, I don't want scrambled eggs.
- I'm gonna make you scrambled eggs and you're gonna eat them.
Allow me.
We really missed you.

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