Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s02e14 Episode Script

A Tough Old Bird

- Next? - Hey, Chuey.
I'm surprised to see you here.
Ah, they keep trying out new pills on Mom.
I blame her good insurance.
I just assumed, after our breakup, you would be Team Kemi.
What? I had no idea you guys broke up.
I have been crying all morning.
Well, don't worry, you can't tell.
Preparation H under the eyes reduces puffiness.
It's on sale, aisle five.
Geez, pal, I'm so sorry.
I do not deserve your sympathy.
I am the monster who has shattered the heart of a wonderful woman.
Well, if there's anything I can do It is Kemi I am worried about.
I'm sure she'll get through it.
She's a tough old bird.
She's a beautiful old bird.
And now she is free.
Well, that's a great way to look at it, Chuey.
I really don't know what else to say except, uh prescription for Wheeler? Oh.
Are you all right? Of course.
Why? You are usually very loud and almost unprofessional in your enthusiasm.
I'm just tired.
From making love all night to my boyfriend Chukwuemeka, who is my soul mate and who I will be with forever.
Well, I'll see you at lunch.
Abishola? Yes? I am happy and my life is perfect.
Look who's all dressed up with somewhere to go.
Aw, you look beautiful, Mrs.
I feel beautiful, like I'm getting - my life back.
- You are.
I didn't know if I'd ever leave that room, and now look at me.
I'm going to my favorite place in the world: Jackpot City Casino in Sarnia, Ontario.
I'm sure they've missed you.
I'm gonna play slots till I pass out.
Do not let her drink too much.
Oh, don't worry, we're gonna go to the spa, have some fancy meals, maybe take in some live entertainment.
Yeah, okay, listen, if you see a "do not disturb" sign on our door, go sleep in the lobby 'cause I may be enjoying some "live entertainment.
" Ready to go? She's just going for one weekend.
Isn't that a little overkill? It's not overkill.
It's her clothes, her medication, and her PT equipment.
We don't know what kind of facility the hotel gym offers, and she will not skip a weekend of her recovery.
It's just one weekend.
Which is all it takes to derail a recovery.
Don't worry, I'll get plenty of physical therapy at the slot tournament.
Max bet, spin, max bet, spin.
Hey, maybe your bad arm's lucky.
Like a rabbit's foot.
That is terrible, Douglas.
What are you doing? Hmm? I'm just fixing your jacket.
It's so pretty.
Well, you got the house to yourselves.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
And I do everything.
Really wish she left before she said that.
Ah, what a sweet, sweet sound.
Thank you.
To you.
To us.
Just us.
When's the last time we had this place to ourselves? We've never had this place to ourselves.
So, uh, do you want to? I do.
That meal was very heavy.
I was thinking the exact same thing.
I-It's like our bodies move and digest as one.
I like that we can just hang out.
We don't have to be all over each other.
Like Kemi and Chuey.
They burned hot, but then they flamed out.
Not like us.
Low and slow.
Like that five-pound brisket we just took down.
What are you talking about? 200 degrees for eight hours.
All it needed was salt and patience.
No, what are you saying about Kemi and Chuey? They broke up.
I saw her this morning.
She didn't say anything to me.
Oh, I'm sure she's gonna tell you eventually.
I'm going to call her.
Aw, come on.
Let's go back to enjoying our night and digesting together.
She just sent me straight to voice mail.
Kemi, please call me back.
Well, you've done all you can.
I'm going to keep calling her until she picks up.
Okay, but let's not let this ruin our evening.
I just need to know that she's okay.
Kemi, please pick up.
Kemi, it's Bob.
I'll give you 200 bucks if you pick up.
What? I'm worried about her.
Kemi, I phoned you many times last night.
Why didn't you return my calls? I was in the bath.
All night? I like a long soak.
Bob told me about you and Chukwuemeka.
What about us? Kemi, please.
Bob is an older gentleman.
Perhaps he is confused.
It will happen more and more as he declines.
Kemi, do not lie to me.
What do you want me to say? Hmm? That Chukwuemeka's mother finally got through to him? Hmm? That I'm too old? That he needs to be with someone who can give him children? Hey, ah, Kemi There, you have your story.
Hmm? You all have your story.
Poor, old, dried-up Kemi is eggless and will die alone.
I'm so sorry.
Don't be.
Everybody said it was foolish for us to try and be together.
Well, they were right.
It will be okay, my friend.
No, it won't.
But I'll be dead soon, and that comforts me.
The gossip mill is in full swing today.
Apparently, Chukwuemeka broke up with Kemi.
And also, Adebisi makes her puff-puff from a mix.
Where did you hear that? Everyone is talking about Chukwuemeka and Kemi.
I will confess, I am spreading the puff-puff rumor.
Are people that desperate for gossip, they need to hear about a woman's heartbreak? Yes, and why did you not tell me about it? I'm just glad Kemi's not here.
Ogechi's spreading a rumor that Kemi drank Chukwuemeka's blood at night to stay young.
That is ridiculous.
Of course it is.
But if you had told me first, I could have controlled the story.
But now Kemi is a vampire.
An old, brokenhearted vampire.
What a blessed evening.
Ogechi! - Did you enjoy the Bible lesson? - Mm-hmm.
The Book of Genesis is one of my favorites.
Tunde's, too.
Uh, yes.
Serpents and floods and kings, oh, my.
Tonight's discussion about adversity really made me think about my son Chukwuemeka.
- Mm.
- Yes, we heard.
Especially the story about Jonah fighting his way out of the clutches of that huge, disgusting whale.
I think you are allowed to be happy for Jonah without spreading rumors about the whale.
Abishola, perhaps we should discuss something else.
I know you and Kemi are close.
But remember, Proverbs says, "The companion of fools will suffer harm.
" Proverb also says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
" "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior "are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them.
" "Do not judge, or you, too, will be judged.
"For in the same way you judge others, "you will be judged, "and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
" Have a lovely night.
What was that? Bible study.
How's Kemi doing? She'll be fine.
Really? I heard she had a big fit in front of the whole kitchen staff.
We should not be talking about other people's business.
But, yes, it was a very big fit.
Well, sometimes you got to get those feelings out before you can move on.
Oh, no.
Wow! Look at you.
Yes, look at me.
Drink me in.
Uh Kemi, I owe you an apology for yesterday.
Don't worry about yesterday.
Yesterday's Kemi is dead.
I'll say.
I have always been skeptical of the saying "blondes have more fun," but today I cannot deny it.
I've had more fun.
I'm sure having fun looking at you.
You know, Abishola, you should try something new.
You've had the same look forever.
Oh, I-I wouldn't want to steal - your spotlight.
- Mm-hmm.
- I am shining, aren't I? - Yeah.
Like a blood diamond.
Oh, my Lord.
That girl is hurting.
It was very hard for me not to tell her how ridiculous - she looked.
- Uh-uh, uh-uh, she's not gone yet.
Beautiful woman! - Hello? - Abishola, I need your help.
It is 2:00 in the morning.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know being a best friend had designated hours.
What's going on? Did they lose Mom in the casino? It's Kemi.
Go back to sleep.
Eh I see why you don't want to talk.
When were you going to tell me that you and the sock man were engaged in premarital sex? Kemi, I'm hanging up.
No, no, wait.
I'm thinking of going to Chukwuemeka's apartment.
Kemi, don't.
Let me rephrase that.
I'm outside Chukwuemeka's apartment.
Kemi I've climbed up a fire escape, and I have no recollection of doing it.
What is happening to me? You are not thinking clearly.
How can he sleep so soundly? We just broke up.
Climb carefully back down the fire escape and go home.
Any lunatic could just break in and slit his beautiful throat while he sleeps.
I'm coming to get you.
You're what? - Get dressed.
- Get what? Kemi, stay where you are.
We're on our way.
Hello? - Kemi? - Abishola, I'm thinking of breaking into Chukwuemeka's apartment.
Don't do it, Kemi.
Let me rephrase that.
Oluwa mi o.
Kemi! Kemi, come down! Go away! I didn't do anything.
I just watched him sleep.
Come down right now! He must have taken an Ambien.
He just laid there like a sweet, sedated angel.
How'd she even get up there? She's always been very strong.
Kemi, please! All right, all right! If he only knew the sacrifice I made just to see his beautiful face one more time! Oh, my God! Bob, quick, catch her! Are you crazy? Do it! Abishola! Sock man! Sock man! Kemi, I'll give you 200 bucks to not fall! Thank you for catching me.
Don't mention it.
You are very soft.
Don't mention it.
Like a memory foam mattress.
Not gonna say it again.
Kemi, this cannot go on.
You have to deal with your feelings.
There's nothing to deal with.
You broke into your ex's apartment.
All I did was lay next to him for a bit.
And take a few pictures.
Don't look at me like that.
The lighting was perfect.
Look, Kemi, if you want to talk about it, you are in the right car.
Bob is very good with feelings.
Aw, thanks.
You know, you're getting better at it, too.
The other day, you had a headache and you told me about it instead of closing your eyes while I talked.
And I'm glad I shared because then you were quiet.
You two make me sick.
You want to hear my feelings? I'm a wretched, withered old stalker who is doomed to die alone.
You are not alone.
You have children and grandchildren.
Some of whom you love very much.
And you got friends who you can count on.
And fall on.
Bob is probably the last man who will ever hold me.
I know it feels dark now, but I promise it will get better.
And until it does, you got this great lady right by your side.
Excuse me.
Kemi, Kemi Kemi, what are you doing?! Bob? Well, we've done all we can.
I'm going, I'm going.
Hello? Funmbi? It's me, Mummy.
No, no, no, no, no one is dead.
No, no, no one is sick.
No, I did not attack my neighbor again.
Can a mother not just call her son?! So, how are you? And the children? Oh, that's good, that's good.
Oh, I understand.
I am also very busy.
All right, I should let you go.
Goodbye, Funmbi.
- Ah-ah, Kemi.
- We need to talk.
- Okay.
- Not you.
- Hello, Auntie.
- Why are you here? To tell you, you are right.
You may sit down.
Your son wants a family, and I know how much you want grandchildren.
It was unfair of me to deny you that.
Yes, it was.
He needs children, but at the same time, I find it very hard to be without him.
I miss you as well.
That is wonderful but I'm in a conversation.
There may be a way that everybody gets what they want.
I do not see how.
Unless you drank so much of Chukwuemeka's blood that you are now a teenager.
Excuse me? Just something I heard at church.
Let me ask you a question, Ogechi.
Do you want your son to be happy? Of course.
And do you agree that he has been unhappy since he and I broke up? - I have been miserable.
- Chukwuemeka, please! He has been miserable.
So this is what we do.
Chukwuemeka and I get back together, and you have your happy son.
So happy.
Then you and I will meet a series of women to see who is fit to bear your grandchildren.
- Wait, what? - Shh! Why would you get any say in who this new woman should be? The same reason you get a say.
I am his mother.
And I am his Kemi.
Do I get a say? So what do you think, Auntie? I can find no fault with this arrangement.
If you two are happy, I am happy.
- Good boy.
- That's my son.
Ooh, magna cum laude.
But from a state school.
And do you just speak the three languages? Yes.
I'm just not seeing the wow factor.
Thank you for saying it first.
It says here you knit.
I do.
Oh, that's nice.
Get out, please.
Off you go.
Your grandchild will not have knitter's hands.
They are all knuckles.
I am starting to worry we will not find anyone.
Maybe we need to lower our expectations.
Absolutely not.
You deserve nothing but the best.
You are right.
I thought the last woman was nice.
Yes, that's why we are doing this.
Would you like some tea, Auntie? That would be lovely.
Thank you, Kemi.
You heard her, go and get us some tea.

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