Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s02e18 Episode Script

God Accepts Venmo

1 Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola - You are going to Nigeria this summer.
- I am? It does not matter how things are with your father and me.
This trip will be good for you.
That is what matters.
Thank you, Mum.
And I will never be against you.
When you get back, you have to help me learn this dance that Gloria knows.
- You want me to help you dance? - Ah.
Dele does not think I know how to dance, either.
That's because you cannot.
You are laughing at your mother.
No, I'm just happy to see you happy.
And I am happy that you are happy that I am happy.
Oh, I love you, Dele.
I miss you very much.
I love you, too, Mum.
I'm glad Mum is having a good time.
Maybe too good a time.
How about next June? Who doesn't love a June wedding? People who are applying to medical school.
- So, no June.
- No June.
How about September 23? You know what that day is, - don't you? - What? It's the anniversary of my big heart attack.
You've had small heart attacks? Don't worry about it.
Why would we want to get married on a day - you almost died? - Because it's also the day we met and you swept me off my gurney.
So what do you think? No.
I'm still gonna be celebrating.
- What about October? - Mm, no good.
I got the International Undergarment Expo in Shanghai.
And since the Chinese government won't allow Douglas in Shanghai, we can't get married there.
Why can't Douglas go to Shanghai? Don't worry about it.
All right, so basically it's either two years from now or I got an opening in three weeks.
That works for me.
What works for you? - Three weeks.
- Wait, are you serious? - I mean, it's not ideal - But we'll figure it out.
I don't know how we'll get everyone here.
But we'll figure it out.
- I also have to tell - Ah-ah.
But we'll figure it out.
- We're getting married.
- We're getting married.
- So, honeymoon.
- Okay.
So, are you looking forward to coming home early for the wedding? I am, but have you talked to Dad about it? Eh, I emailed him that we need to talk about you coming home early and he wrote back "Okay," so he's okay.
Ah-ah, is something wrong? He didn't seem too happy about it.
It does not matter if he's happy or sad.
You are my son, and you will be at my wedding.
- Is that Dele? - Dele, Bob is here.
- Hi, Bob.
- Hey, pal, how's it going? - Good.
- Listen, there's something I want to ask you.
I was hoping you'd do me the honor of being my best man.
Uh, I will.
Thank you, Bob.
Okay, you got to hand me the ring, make a little speech, talk me down if I have a panic attack.
Okay, Bob.
I'm sorry, I should probably get going.
All right.
We'll see you in a couple weeks.
Goodbye, Dele.
Did he seem okay to you? Well, he didn't laugh at my panic attack joke, but neither did you, so maybe it's genetic.
Well, maybe we did not laugh because mental illness is not funny.
Well, not when you put it like that.
I just hope his father doesn't make this more difficult than it needs to be.
Well, maybe Tayo is feeling left out.
We should invite him and his second wife to the wedding.
Second wives aren't funny, either? I am learning a lot today.
More tea, Pastor? Please.
It is an honor to have such an esteemed man of God - in our home.
- Ah I am just his humble servant.
More like handsome servant.
You know, of God.
Bob and I would like to be married at the church.
That is a blessing.
- Amen.
- Ah.
Indeed it is.
We can start the premarital counseling next month.
Actually, we're kind of in a time crunch.
God willing, we would love to be married in three weeks.
So soon? Yeah, the long engagement isn't an option for us.
I see.
No, you don't see.
I am not pregnant.
Oh, thank goodness.
You thought we were pregnant? It's either that or you were dying.
- Are you dying? - No! Oh, thank goodness.
We are busy.
He runs a business and I'm studying to become a doctor.
At your age? So she's young enough to get pregnant but too old to be a doctor? Uh, what Bob is trying to say is, of course she is too old.
I am sorry, but there are customs in place.
Premarital counseling, attending Sunday service for six months But Abishola goes to church every week.
Yes, she does.
Again, busy people.
The church is also busy.
The sanctuary may not be available.
We've been renting it out to generate extra income.
I see.
The study room needs painting, there are books to buy, so many projects needed for the children.
Say no more.
Bob, what are you doing? I'm helping the children.
I cannot take your check.
Oh, sorry.
But God does accept Venmo.
Get with the times, Bob.
Thank you, everyone, for getting together on short notice.
Mummy, can you hear okay? I can hear perfectly fine.
How old do you think I am? This is exciting.
It's like when the Avengers assemble.
Have you not seen those movies? You are in for a treat.
Listen up, ladies, we need a reception venue, flowers, food and a DJ who understands he is not the star of the show.
I am.
Since there is not much time, I thought I could buy my wedding dress here.
Oh, yeah, uh, Abishola and I have been going through, uh, some of the ones that I had picked out for my imaginary wedding.
That's nice.
I'm sorry, remind me of your name.
Oh, hi.
I'm Christina, Bob's sister.
Yeah it-it's so nice to meet you.
You as well.
Is Olu there? - I am here.
- Could you please tell that woman to butt out? - Christina - Yeah, I heard.
Mummy, I know you wanted Bimpe to make the dress, but it is not fair to rush her.
Bimpe has assured me that she will get it done.
But I've already found a couple that I like here in Detroit.
I can show you.
Olu? Bimpe will make the dress.
I thought my mom was stubborn.
Ah-ah, who said that? Uh, it was Christina.
No reason for both of us to be in trouble.
Hi there, uh, me again.
Look, we all trust Bimpe.
My concern is with the international shipping company.
I will bring the dress with me.
Well, what if, God forbid, something happens with your flight? Olu? If my sister or the dress cannot be there, there will be no wedding.
Uh, I'm with Olu and laptop.
I think the more authentic, the better.
I'm going full African.
You are going to wear traditional Yoruba clothing? Oh, yeah.
I'm gonna deck out the wheelchair in seashells and kente cloth, and wear one of those big wraparound hats like Olu.
Mom, that is offensive.
Why? Very nice, cousin.
I am never taking this off.
You look sharp, too, Tunde.
Ah, I do.
I really do.
What do we think? Splendid.
The black sets off your pale oatmeal skin.
You're like a handsome ghost.
Listen fellas, while we're all here You guys have done so much for me and Abishola, I wanted to do a little something to show my appreciation.
- Aw, you shouldn't have.
- No way.
Tunde, your love and your loyalty has meant the world to me.
Through all the ups and downs, I felt you were always on my team.
Team Bob.
I'll never get tired of hearing that.
Thank you.
Goodwin, you gave me advice every step of the way.
Not all of it good, but it was always from the heart.
I was happy to look out for you, like keeping a baby away from electric outlets.
Kofo You may not know a lot about women, but you know a hell of a lot about friendship.
Without you, I wouldn't be standing here.
I actually know quite a bit about women, but you are welcome.
What's up? Huh? Where's mine? What do you mean? Oh, look at that.
You got 'em all watches? Well, without their help, I wouldn't be marrying Abishola.
I helped, too.
You told me not to pursue the relationship.
You made fun of me for even thinking about it.
Somebody has to poke holes in it and see if it floats.
Poking holes sinks things.
You're my brother, I love you.
A watch isn't gonna change that.
But it would've proved it.
Beautiful watch, Bob.
What What are we talking, $800, $900? $900.
You nailed it.
Well, I factored in that you would overpay by at least $200.
Okay, give me the cash equivalent.
- You don't need the cash.
- It's the spirit in which it's given.
Look, I'm sorry I didn't get you a watch, okay? It's fine.
Oh, by the way, maybe you should ask one of your special watch friends to be your best man.
- Actually, I already asked - Oh, my God! Okay, so, this one is from Louisa's Bakery.
It's a simple vanilla sponge with white chocolate mousse - and a raspberry drizzle.
- Mmm.
It is too sweet.
Uh, Mummy, how would you know? If he likes it that much, it has to be sweet.
It is a little sweet.
Okay, let her watch you eat the chocolate cake.
All right.
Okay, Mummy Ebun, what did I think of this one? You like it because it is cake, but it does not wow you.
It's like she's in my mouth.
Mummy, did you get the plane tickets? I did.
First-class, very nice.
I figured you wouldn't come if you didn't get the extra leg room.
Ah, the man knows mother-in-laws as well as cakes.
You should have Dele's ticket as well.
Have you spoken to him or Tayo? No.
Have you not talked to them? I did, but it has been a few days.
Well, I don't have time to chase your son and his father around town.
I am busy planning a wedding.
- I'm sure it's fine.
- Oh, are you? Is Tayo in your mouth as well? Hey.
Could we hurry this up, please? What about the one furthest on the left? Oh, that's the red velvet.
Oh! I love red velvet.
That will be the cake.
- Don't you want Bob to taste it first? - No need.
I can tell by the way he is looking at it.
She's not wrong.
- - It's all right, all right Welcome, gentlemen, to a grown man's bachelor party.
Good food, great Scotch and fine cigars.
Jalapeño poppers and pigs in a blanket? Tonight we eat like kings.
I can only eat like a king until 9:00, otherwise I get acid reflux.
Got you covered.
We got an assortment of antacids right next to the humidor.
Am I allowed to have a cigar? Or are those just for the strangers you barely know? They're for everybody.
Not the Cuban.
That one's for Tunde.
You are too kind.
Wheeler, we also have something for you.
Aw, thanks guys.
More gifts for people who aren't me.
A pocket square, handsewn of aso oke, a coveted fabric native to our tribe.
When worn in the same color and pattern, it symbolizes unity and family.
My brother.
I love it.
Thank you.
And this is a bottle of ogogoro, fermented palm wine.
It is Nigeria's strongest liquor.
Got to let you know, girl It is said that if a man can share a whole bottle with those he considers brothers, he is ready for marriage.
Seriously, guys, this is amazing.
To play Just to be clear, Bob already has a brother.
I know it's confusing because he doesn't act like it.
Can I talk to you for a minute? Sure, but you'll have to let me know when a minute's up, because I don't have a watch.
Oh, I remember many nights drinking this rocket fuel.
I don't remember any of them.
Look, I should have got you a watch, okay? I'm sorry.
No, you shouldn't have, 'cause you clearly didn't think I deserved one.
I didn't think you needed one, but I was wrong.
I was very, very wrong.
No, you weren't.
Those guys earned their watches.
You said so in your heartfelt little speeches.
Speeches? I was just talking.
Well, it was beautiful.
You're an important part of this, too.
Yeah, right.
Hey, I'm serious.
After my first marriage blew up, whose couch did I sleep on for three weeks? Mine.
And who pulled me up off that couch, looked me in the eye and said, "You smell gross, dude.
You got to do something.
" - Me.
- You.
You got me back out there.
You laid the groundwork.
Without you, there is no Abishola.
I hear what you're saying, man.
I did deserve a watch.
- How about a hug? - I'll take it.
Just make sure those guys see.
Thanks for everything, Douglas! I'm your brother, you don't have to thank me.
I'll get it.
And just so you know, you're in my will.
When I die, you get all my watches.
- I don't want to think about you dying.
- All right.
But how many watches are we talking about? That is Mr.
Wheeler, this is Destiny.
Douglas, I said no strippers.
I was pissed off, I didn't know we were gonna bond.
Hi, Destiny.
How's your mom? - Eh.
- Ah.
Look, I'm sorry you had to come all the way out here.
Bob, please, tell me you are not about to turn away a guest in your home.
Destiny, come, sit.
We have food, we have drink, we have antacids.
Thank you.
Tunde, why is there glitter on your pants? Um, w-we we were doing arts and crafts at Bob's bachelor party.
Oh, did the stripper help you? - Ah.
- Who wh-whose phone is that? Uh, someone get the phone.
It's Tayo.
Hello? E karo, Abishola.
How are you? I am good.
We need to talk about Dele's travel arrangements.
Yes, we do.
I think it's best if Dele stays in Nigeria with me.
Uh You would have him miss his own mother's wedding? Actually, I was talking about more than the wedding.
I think he should stay here for the foreseeable future.
What? Abishola, he wants to stay here.
I know people, I can get him in the best schools in Lagos.
Put Dele on.
I know this is hard to hear, but this is where he belongs.
Tayo, put my son on the phone right now.
Hold on.
What's going on? He is trying to keep Dele in Nigeria.
- For the wedding? - Forever.
Oluwa mi o.
Mum? Dele, answer me honestly.
Your father thinks you should stay in Nigeria.
Is this something you want? Dad says it's for the best.
But is it what he wants or what you want? Dele? You heard him.
He wants to stay.
- You have no right to do this.
- Ah-ah.
No right? I am his father.
This is what is best for Dele.
- Tayo, please.
- We will talk more about this when you have calmed down.
What did he say? It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm so sorry we had to postpone the wedding.
Are you kidding? There can't be a wedding without my best man.
We're gonna bring Dele home.
We are.
I don't want you to worry.
Olu and I will be there to fight for you.
Isn't that right, Olu? Shh! I'm watching the Avengers.

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