Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s03e21 Episode Script

A Little Slap and Tickle

Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola The surgeon is going to cut off her hip with a bone saw and replace it with titanium.
A bone saw? Yes, it's a saw used to cut bone.
Oh, look, he's starting to cut.
Oh, my It is amazing, isn't it? There's so much blood.
Yes, the adult human body holds one and a half gallons of blood.
Are you all right? Mm-hmm.
No, you are not.
Sit down.
You're right.
I'm good.
Totally good.
I am not good.
What's going on? How is Dele going to become a doctor if he gets sick at the sight of blood? Yeah, that's a problem.
But better he found out now.
Better for who? Everybody? What about these biology books? In the trash.
This one looks kind of cool.
Then you keep it.
Microscope? Aw I got that for his third birthday.
Third? What was I supposed to get him? A teddy bear? Put it in the box.
You know, I can't help thinking that maybe you're overreacting.
But then, that thought just flies away.
Here's something for Dele.
It says here the fastest growing field is software quality assurance analysts.
Dele will not do that.
- Why not? - If I do not know what it is, how can I brag about him at church? Perhaps he should be a lawyer.
He would stay busy.
Americans - always want to sue each other.
- Mm-hmm.
I can picture the billboards now.
"Injury on the job? Call Dele Adebambo: The Nigerian Hammer.
" You can always use a lawyer in the family.
More specifically, I could use one next month.
After winning several high-profile murder cases, he can easily transition into politics.
- He does have a likable face.
- Mm-hmm.
"Vote Dele Adebambo for President: The Nigerian Hammer.
" Does it bother you that they talk like you're not here? Please don't draw attention to me.
If he does go into politics, someone might dig up that my late husband and I - were communists for a couple of days.
- Mom.
We thought it was a swingers party.
What do you want to do, Dele? I really don't think it's my place.
We know what is best for Dele.
Maybe, but even if you force him to go to some fancy law school, there's no guarantee he's gonna get a job out of it.
What are you talking about? Well, I used to date a Harvard Law graduate.
Not traditionally handsome, but cute.
He had really short arms like a tyrannosaurus rex.
- Cut to the closing argument, honey.
- Um Well, he was working at a 24 Hour Fitness.
- Eh? - That is impossible.
Are you sure it was the good Harvard? Well, he had the sweatshirt.
Anyway, big firms are looking for people with a more well-rounded liberal arts education.
Abishola, explain to me what she is saying.
I do not know.
She's saying where and what you study in school doesn't really mean as much as it used to.
Does anyone know what they are talking about? You've eaten at Chipotle, right? Oh, yes.
I love the convenience of fast food and the quality of a casual sit-down.
Their CEO got his degree in art history.
Heck, there are plenty of billionaires that never even finished school.
Oprah, Bill Gates.
Look at me, I'm a college dropout.
Is this true? We do not speak about it.
I have a successful company.
But imagine how much better it would be if you had gotten your degree.
You know, it's not too late for you.
It is, and it's fine.
No, it is not fine.
Let us all calm down.
Bob is not on trial here.
Dele is.
Thank you, Mr.
My daughter will love these.
It's great she wants to be a doctor.
Oh, she doesn't.
But now she will.
Please send my condolences to your wife for her tragic loss.
It's not a loss.
- The kid's gonna be fine.
- Of course he will.
If you ask me, planning out a child's life at such an early age puts too much pressure on them.
Pressure builds character.
It is how you separate the strong from the Dele.
My parents put tremendous pressure on me and I always resented them for it.
- See? - Until I moved to America and saw how you raise your children.
With your hugging and your "You'll get 'em next time, Cody.
" Cody will not get them next time! All right, I'm stopping the cycle.
- Give me back the box.
- Aw.
And you know what? I'll bet Cody is damn happy.
Actually, he was crying.
Goodwin's daughter scored 11 goals on him.
Geez, don't they have a mercy rule? They do now.
You will not believe this.
One of the patients from the psych ward walked into my kitchen and started peeling potatoes.
Uh What did you do? I let her finish and then I handed her some carrots.
- Hey, ladies.
- Hello.
- Abishola? - Hmm? I made you cookies.
- Mmm.
- Why? To cheer you up.
You've been talking about "Dele the doctor" as long as I've known you.
I'm fine.
- I will take a cookie.
- Ah! They're not for you.
I don't need cookies.
I need to move on.
Honey, I am not gonna let you bury your feelings.
Yes, it's better to eat them.
Ah! Thank you, Gloria, but this is not necessary.
I stayed up two extra hours last night, I missed my shows and I burnt my finger.
Let me console you, damn it.
Oatmeal raisin is not my favorite.
Keep eating.
Ah, there is my son.
- E kaasan, Dad.
- How are you doing? You have not called in days.
I'm sorry.
Something has come up.
Yes, your lunch.
You heard? Everyone heard.
You think it's funny? I am the same way with blood.
When my auntie slaughtered one of the animals for dinner, I could not watch.
Nothing is quite as embarrassing as vomiting on a headless chicken.
I threw up on my mom's shoes.
Okay, you win.
But all is not lost.
Now you will follow in my footsteps.
There is no blood in engineering.
- Engineering? - Yes.
I have told everyone that I work with.
So you're going to pick my career now? Obviously.
I am your father.
It should have been me all along.
How are you with heights? It does not make you sick, does it? - Not that I know of.
- Well, we cannot risk it.
You have embarrassed the family enough.
This weekend, eat a big meal.
Then, go to the top of a tall building and look out a window.
Let's up the resistance! I can't do it, Cole.
You can do it, everybody! I said I can't do it, you sexy bully! Oh, thank God.
Hang on.
I'm coming! Dele? Hi.
Are you okay? No.
Oh, come here.
I'm sorry I'm so sweaty.
Okay, we're gonna head out.
What do you think of this guy? Swipe left or swipe right? I don't want to see that.
I know he's chunky, but he's got a motorcycle.
I'm not helping you pick out my new stepdad.
Slow down.
I'm only looking for a little slap and tickle.
Says so on my profile.
That's not even you, that's Doris Day.
I've been told I look like her.
I've never been more glad to take your call.
I just wanted to let you know that Dele is safe and here with me.
I'm gonna do my best to heal him, Bob.
What are you talking about? He ran away.
And he ran to me.
Oh, my God, is he okay? He's fine.
He hasn't said much yet, but I'll get him to open up.
That's what I do.
- Christina? - Yes? This is not some baby rabbit you found.
You can't keep Dele.
Oh, but they've got the same innocent eyes.
You bring him home right now before Abishola finds out.
I'm not gonna do that.
- Christina - Tell Abishola not to worry.
Auntie Chrissy's got this.
So Dele went to Christina's, huh? I was wondering where he was going when he ran out of here.
You saw him and you didn't tell me? I'm no rat.
Abishola's already stressed out, that's the last thing she needs.
She doesn't need to know.
Well, I'm not gonna lie to my wife.
You're kidding, right? How are you gonna stay married? Trust.
She's up there getting ready for a nice night out, and you're gonna ruin it with the truth? She does need a break.
Then look her in the eye and lie your ass off.
It's how you show your love.
Are you ready to go? Yeah.
But it's because I love you.
Okay You kids have fun.
I'll watch Dele.
This ceremony is called chado.
And right now, your role in it is to just be present.
I can do that.
Have you had this before? Tea? Sure.
This isn't just tea.
It's matcha.
It's what monks drink.
Now, for usucha, or thinner tea, we use less matcha.
Makes sense.
But this situation calls for koicha.
- Full strength? - Hai.
Now, let's take a deep, cleansing breath and have a sip.
Do you really like this? No.
It's not good.
But it's about the ritual.
Yeah, it never gets better.
Can I ask you something? Sure, anything.
How do you deal with being such a disappointment to your family? Wow.
Somebody's been spending time with Grandma Dottie.
I mean that you left your family's company and went against everything they wanted you to do.
Oh, that disappointment.
Well, I hit a wall.
Yeah, I kind of did, too.
We had just had another board meeting where nobody in the family was listening to me.
And I found myself fantasizing about making a pretty jacket out of Grandma Dottie's skin.
When I began wondering if there would be enough skin left for shoes, that's when I knew I needed to get out of the situation.
Does that answer your question? Honestly, I don't remember my question.
Well, be patient and the universe will guide you.
I was kind of hoping you could do that.
No, I can't.
Oh, but I have tarot cards.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Do you work here? Yes, sir, I took your order earlier.
He is kidding.
He likes to make jokes.
Good one.
I thought it was funny.
It's nice to see you smiling.
With a 2005 Merlot, how could I not? This was a good idea.
Thank you.
Of course.
I know there's been a lot going on, but think of this as a little vacation.
We're on a stress-free island.
I like that.
I can't help thinking that even though he cannot stand the sight of blood, Dele would have made such a good doctor.
Yeah, he would've.
When he was little, we would do "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," and he would recite all 206 bones in the body.
That's a much longer song.
But not as useless.
You're really gonna miss your study buddy, huh? I am.
It was just the two of us for such a long time.
I'm scared we are going to lose that connection.
Well, you ever think about telling him that? Telling him what? That you're gonna miss him.
Why would I do that? So he knows how you feel.
- He already knows how I feel.
- If he did, he wouldn't have gone to Christina for help.
- What? - What? Why would he go to Christina's, and why would he need help? These are all great questions.
- Bob.
- All right, apparently he was upset and he went to Christina's.
But the important thing is, he's fine.
When did this happen? It might have been just before we left for dinner.
And you are only telling me this now? I thought you could use a break.
So you lied to me.
I didn't lie, I waited to tell you because I love you.
I need the check.
- And you are? - Not the time.
Hold a question you want answered in your mind and then pull a card.
Upright Strength card.
This means inner courage, bravery, overcoming self-doubt.
I know this is nonsense, but it kind of makes me feel better.
I get it.
But don't call it nonsense, you'll anger the cards.
Dele! - What do we do? - Okay, let-let's stay calm and ask how this is gonna go.
Oh, my.
Christina, open this door right now.
Okay, Abishola, I can tell you're mad, but I need you to promise to open your ears and your heart.
Let me in before I break down this door.
Yep, no problem.
How dare you run away without my permission.
I'm sorry, Mum.
And you! What is wrong with you? You should have called me the moment he arrived.
Well, let me explain.
Don't engage, just apologize.
I'm sorry, Abishola.
Why are you even here? Because I listen.
Do you? 'Cause I just told you not to engage.
He thinks you're all disappointed in him.
I'm done.
Why would you think that? Because you are.
I am disappointed, but not in you.
You've worked so hard for me to become a doctor.
You have worked hard.
And it is not fair.
But you cannot control the way your body betrayed you and ruined my shoes.
I just wanted to make you proud.
I am.
You are the thing I am most proud of.
Even now? Even now.
Don't worry.
We'll find you a new plan.
Excuse me? No new plan.
Upright Strength card.
I've done everything you've ever asked, but I need a break.
I don't want to be doctor Dele or lawyer Dele, or engineer Dele.
I just want to be me for a minute.
- Fine.
- Really? - Really? - Really? I can see that you are tired.
And I know that very soon you will be ready to work hard again.
Of course.
So have your break.
Thank you, Mum.
We will not talk about your future for two weeks.
I'll take it.
Let's go home.
A-And any time I can be a vessel for healing, please use me.
Vessel? Sure.
- Christina.
- Yes? You are a good auntie.
Thank you.
But I am still angry with you.
Yeah, fair enough.
I'm a good auntie.
- We're home.
- Welcome back.
Dele's already in bed.
He wore himself out reading me Bible stories.
Oh So, you were also a part of this whole thing? Absolutely not.
I'm just as much a victim as you are.
- Good night.
- Good night, sweetie.
You see how happy she was I lied? Good night, Mom.
Really? This is the thanks I get for saving your marriage?
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