Boo, Bitch (2022) s01e05 Episode Script

Fake Bitch

[dance music playing]
[horns honking]
[cell phone alert whistles]
[cell phone alert dings]
[Gia] OMG, you're up to 25K followers.
And #ErikasEpicWinterWonderland
is still trending.
It was our party. It should be
Nah. You can claim the fame
and the cleanup.
I saved it for you
'cause I'm a good friend.
[both chuckle]
[Gia] Damn. Your dead body
might not make it to prom in two weeks.
We should've saved some ice for the body.
It's gonna by a million degrees.
Got it. Okay. House, ice, body.
What was that thing
you wanted to tell me about?
Uh, do you remember Gavin?
Afterlifer who does fake magic?
No, that's Brad. Gavin's a wizard.
Or a medium. I don't remember.
Anyway, he's the cute one
with the really soulful eyes.
So the other weird one. What about him?
Um, he, uh
- He really likes your Ambassadors.
- [chuckles]
And apparently, so did Riley,
before she got publicly dragged.
Now, I would not wanna be her walking
into school this morning. [chuckles]
[groans] Oh God. I publicly dragged Riley.
My name is Erika Vu,
and this is my party, bitch.
So, if you don't like it,
there's the door.
[crowd chanting] Erika! Erika!
- God, she's gonna be so pissed.
- So? That's a good thing.
You're not a somebody
until you have an enemy.
And a parking spot!
[upbeat music playing]
[bell rings]
Is it just me or is everyone in school
wearing earbuds?
You're trending in person.
[girl] Bitch!
It's Erika Vu, bitch.
Thank you so much for finally giving me
the chance to wear midnight blue. Again.
Regular blue just does not flatter me
the same way.
Oh! Hey!
- Erika. Hi.
- [baby cooing]
Um, can I get your thoughts
on something timely?
- No problem. Can I swing by after school?
- Uh, how about now?
We literally stopped the presses so
you could approve your new yearbook page.
- [gasps]
- [exclaims]
You're a lucky man. She is super cool.
[Jake C] She's dope, isn't she?
It's just nice to finally be
drama-free for once. [chuckling] You know?
Now, what are you talking about?
You love drama.
No, I hate it.
That's why I broke up with Riley.
- Uh, then why are you with Erika?
- Well, Erika's chill.
- Didn't you just say how cool she is?
- Yeah, I said "cool."
Not "chill." There's a difference.
Yeah. "Cool" is like she throws parties.
She sets trends. She breaks vases.
"Chill" is like she doesn't
bring any drama or need attention.
That's totally Erika.
Yeah. No. She seemed chill at first,
but she actually brings more drama
than Riley ever did.
More than Riley?
Oh, come on. Name one dramatic thing
that Erika's ever done.
Well first, she flirts with you,
and then she ghosts you.
And then she ruins my promposal,
which, BT-dubstep, we all have to redo,
because Lea is neither chill nor cool.
And then she says she doesn't do prom,
then suddenly she does prom.
I mean, she's
she's the definition of dramarama.
Okay, man, look. I I messed up
your promposal. That was me. All right?
And Erika, she said no to prom
because she was worried
that I was gonna say no to her.
Okay. Dude, it's like reverse girlology.
You know?
Like reverse psychology, but with girls.
Oh. Yes.
Yeah, man. No, I get it. It's just dumb.
it was Riley's go-to move.
See, you're a drama addict
who doesn't know he's an addict.
- Mm-mm-mm.
- That's it. That's it right there.
Oh wow. Wait, that was kind of genius.
[inhales] I've always had
a knack for technology,
but recently I've gotten very good at it.
Hey. Is there any way you could help out
with the senior slideshow?
I'm under a lot of pressure.
It's the biggest senior event
besides prom, and Riley was curating,
and she was supposed to do
her final pass today,
but she didn't show.
Poor thing's probably icing a bruised ego.
- Smackdown was pretty harsh. [chuckles]
- Yeah, but she'll bounce back.
I don't know. Some things
you can't bounce back from. You know?
Like a condom
left out in the sun too long.
Oh my God! This is such bad karma.
- Hey!
- [gasps]
Do you know where I can find
this super fun, really hot girl
who started this, like, rando trend
of wearing earbuds all the time?
- Could it be me?
- Maybe, but I'm gonna need proof.
Follow me.
[romantic pop music playing]
- Yep, it's you.
- [chuckles]
- I had fun last night.
- Me too.
Actually, I think everyone did.
They're all still talking about the party.
[sucks teeth] Yeah, about that. They're
also talking about how I took down Riley.
Ah, that, yeah.
- But she's the worst, right?
- She's got her problems.
But, if she was the worst,
I wouldn't have dated her for four years.
Know what? How about
we talk about something else?
Totally. Riley is the last thing
I wanna talk about.
But do you think I took it too far?
Is there a way she's gonna spin it
that I'm the bully,
even though she's the bully?
Does it matter?
But, it it wasn't even that bad, right?
She deserved it.
I definitely had to put her in her place.
Sure, but she's just not
one to stay put for long.
What does that mean?
It means she'll bounce back.
She always does.
Exactly. So I shouldn't feel bad.
I had no choice.
She was screaming at me.
I had to defend myself.
- Totally. Uh, but
- But what?
If it were me,
I would have done it in private.
- I'll text you after class.
- Wait, wait, wait.
What does that mean? Is she gonna kill me?
[door closes]
Nope. [exhales] She can't kill me,
'cause I'm already dead.
But she can destroy me. Shit!
[breathing heavily]
[groans] So thirsty.
[text sent alert chimes]
So nothing happened
while you were upstairs at the party?
Brad said you disappeared.
- Dude, were you hooking up?
- No.
[text sent alert chimes]
[cell phone chiming]
- [cell phone vibrating]
- You should get that.
Maybe I don't want to.
- Okay, then don't.
- I won't.
- Not because of you. I don't feel like it.
- Okay.
I'm not apologizing for last night.
I didn't do anything you wouldn't have.
Why would I want an apology?
[child voice]
Those are for the mentally weak.
Okay. So you're okay?
Don't be lame
after you finally did something cool.
You outbitched the bitch.
In another lifetime,
maybe we could've been friends.
- Well, we could still be friends.
- Or we could be frenemies.
Do I have a choice?
Frenemies it is.
Um, and since you were late to school,
I took over the slideshow. Is that cool?
Sorry. I I don't know
what that look means.
It means I don't give a shit.
Can you please just try and give a shit?
I've been blowing up your phone.
Where've you been?
Where have I been? Where have you been?
I needed you, but I'm fine now.
Riley and I came to an understanding,
and she's not gonna shank me. I'm okay.
Well, I am not okay. I am crushed.
I know that you think
Gavin just talks to spirits,
but he also talks to me.
And last night
we talked with our tongues.
I thought that we really had something.
I thought we were soul mates.
But then then I saw him outside,
and he, like, totally blew me off.
So what do I do?
Oh, sorry. What did you say?
I was listening to Siri
read me a text from Jake C.
What did I say?
I I just poured my heart out to you.
I'm sorry. Tell me again.
This time I'm really gonna listen.
Okay, yeah. Last night I made out
with Gavin, and now he's blowing me off.
- Oh my God. No fricking way.
- Yeah, right. What a dick.
Or a cooze. @sunsetandkittens47?
- The handle's not gender-specific.
- What are you talking about?
A comment about me on
that really cool TikTok.
Someone wrote, "New name, same bitch.
She'll always be Helen Who."
All right. So you're not gonna hear
anything I say unless it's about you?
I have a hater, okay?
Someone's trolling me on TikTok.
I mean, can I just delete it?
Shit, I can't. It's not on my page.
- Okay, I'll just report it.
- For what?
- Social terrorism.
- Seriously?
You're right. What if it doesn't work?
I have to find who posted it,
tell them take it down.
It's probably Riley, okay? She's trying
to do a bait and switch to throw me off.
But, you know what?
She underestimated me. Again. BRB DM.
[tray slams]
So [clears throat] Riley finally
gave you guys permission to sit with me.
Uh, she put us on time-out.
We tried to sit with her first,
but she said no.
I was joking.
Oh yeah. Us too.
Obviously, we'd rather be sitting
with you and your new girlfriend.
- Where's she at?
- Whoa. Okay. [chuckles]
Uh, we're just keeping it
low-key right now.
Is that why she's not sitting with us?
No, no. She can sit wherever she wants to.
Oof. Sounds like that is why.
You guys get into a fight?
[Jake C] Can you stop stirring drama
where there isn't any?
Really, this is a drama-free
situation ship.
Mm. No drama.
Then why is she sitting with your ex?
[ominous music playing]
I didn't make some dumb fake handle
to troll you.
If I'm gonna drag you,
I'll sign my name to it.
I'm not a coward.
- Then who is it?
- Could be anyone.
With great power comes great haters.
You don't need your haters to like you.
You need them to fear you.
And you need to do it fast,
before they spread.
- They can spread?
- [phone chimes]
See? They're not afraid of you.
I don't want them to be afraid.
I just want them to take the comment down.
[ominous music playing]
I know who my problem is.
You need to take it down now.
Go ahead, I wanna watch it happen.
You wanna watch me pee?
No, gross. I need you
to take the comment down.
I already publicly apologized.
Why troll me like this?
Me trolling you?
You're the one trolling me.
What do you mean?
You know, people were finally starting
to call me Devon,
and now it's just Stinky, Stinky, Stinky,
all over again.
I was a man starting to walk upright,
and now I'm crawling again
through the broken glass of my past.
I'm sorry. I was just trying to help you.
I don't wanna be remembered as a bully.
- You didn't. You made it worse. Can I pee?
- Not until you take the comment down.
Stop bullying me!
I'm not a bully.
What do I have to do to make it right?
- Go away!
- Except that.
I don't want any more attention
from you or anyone else.
[door rattling]
[Devon] Go away!
[Jake C] Erika?
- It's not what it looks like.
- [Devon] Yes, it is!
- She won't leave me alone.
- I'll explain at the slideshow.
Wait, the slideshow.
- Devon, open up!
- No!
- [shutter clicking]
- I've gotta fix my karma!
Okay. Guess I'll just see you
at the slideshow [quietly] then.
[Alyssa] But we only have 30 minutes.
It's not enough time
to unlock it, switch it, and rework it.
- I can't
- Unlock it! Unlock it!
- Okay, all right. God. Make it fast.
- [baby crying]
Oh, Mama's got a baby to hypnotize.
I'm coming!
- Can we talk?
- [screams] Oh my God!
Don't sneak up on me when I'm wired in.
You said, "BRB DM."
And though you didn't BRB, I didn't move.
So can we please talk?
'Cause I'm in a crisis.
Okay, I'm sorry.
This legacy shit is complicated.
What do you wanna talk about?
Talk while I work.
- Do we have more pictures of Devon?
- Why? You absolved yourself.
Apparently not. He's my troll.
He wrote the mean comment.
So? It was one mean comment
from a kid who is partially justified.
Partially justified?
I completely fell on the sword.
I took ownership of that shit!
Okay. Can I just have
two seconds of your time?
Yeah. Two seconds in two seconds.
Okay, we gotta go now.
I still need to render it.
Seriously, I've been waiting
hours to talk to you.
Gia, cut me some slack.
[Alyssa grunts] Okay.
I have!
[quietly] Any more Any more slack,
and you'll just float away.
- [all groaning]
- [girl 1] It's so fricking hot!
[boy 1] Gosh, this is
[boy 2] This sucks, man.
[boy 3] I can't take much more of this.
[students chattering]
[students sigh]
[girl 2] Finally, they listened.
I manifested the AC to turn back on.
[fabric flaps, snaps]
- You're welcome.
- [boy 4] Okay.
- [boy 5] Thank you.
- [Brad] Fine.
- [dance music playing]
- [students cheering]
- [cheering continues]
- [laughs]
[whispers] Wow. I look so good.
[cheering intensifies]
[students booing]
[girl 3] Canceled.
Hey. Can I get those two seconds now?
So I I made out with Gavin,
and I really really like him.
Sorry I called him a weirdo.
But then he pretended
like it didn't happen.
He's an asshole.
And now the asshole is waving at me.
What do I do?
Nothing. You deserve someone
who appreciates you. Like me.
- [boy 6] Stinky!
- [students laughing]
[girl 4] Who put that in there?
It's Devon.
[boy 7] Are those stink bubbles?
No. It's a speech bubble.
[laughing continues]
Are those stink lines?
No. Those are emphasis lines!
[students chanting] Stinky! Stinky!
- [shouting] His name is Devon!
- [chanting continues]
What do I do?
Use your powers. Turn on some music.
[electricity whirring]
- [dance music playing]
- [boy 8] It's party time!
[students chanting] Erika! Erika!
[chanting continues]
No drama, huh?
Wow. Way to steal the show.
I didn't put those pics up there.
No, no, no. I did. You saved my ass.
[Alyssa] Erika Vu,
you are the new queen of Parkway.
[Devon] Erika.
I told you to leave me alone.
- Which way did he go?
- Who?
[sniffs] Never mind.
I will follow the body spray.
Or you can just do what he said
and you can leave him alone.
We don't have time. The body
The body can wait.
Risking hate spread can't.
It was one comment. Who cares?
Ignore it. It was probably meant
to pull you down to earth.
And if you want
to stay on earth until prom,
then we need to ice your body ASAP.
Okay. Okay. I will pick up the ice,
and I'll meet you there.
Erika. Hey. Can we talk?
- Oh. Uh, yeah, sure. Later.
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
- Nothing? Nothing?
- Then why are you acting so weird?
- What am I doing that's weird?
Well, can you look at me for a second?
It's all the weird
Sitting with Riley at lunch
and taking photos of Devon
in the bathroom.
And uploading 30 photos of yourself
[scoffs] in the slideshow.
And the photos of us?
Like, I thought we were being low-key.
Okay. I get it. You wanna define things.
No, no, I mean
Well, like, I mean, maybe a little.
I thought we were on the same page
about being cool.
That you were cool and I was cool.
But now it feels like, you know,
we're not cool. So are we cool?
- Yeah, look, we're cool.
- Good.
But it just It feels like
Hey. Ssh.
I'm good. You're good.
We're good. Okay? So
I will swing by your house in an hour,
and why don't you go do some
Jake stuff?
[soft music playing]
[running footsteps]
[ominous music playing]
I know where you live, Devon.
I'm gonna find you,
and we're gonna work this out!
- Do you see yourself right now?
- Oh God.
You're giving me Helen Who vibes.
Chasing people to like you?
Well, isn't that the point?
Being liked by everybody?
No. Don't play the hater. Game the hate.
- What does that mean?
- It means make the hate work for you.
As they say,
"All publicity is good publicity."
Happy to get into it with you
if you wanna hang out tonight.
[Riley] It's a onetime offer.
Now or never.
I can't. I have plans. I'm so sorry.
[groaning] Oh God. Oh God.
[retches slightly]
[retches slightly]
Hey. I've got 20 more bags of ice
by the side of the road.
I gotta make it quick.
- Unless you wanna do shifts.
- No.
No, you don't get to hang out
with Jake while I do the dirty work.
You have been blowing me off
and ignoring me all day.
Now you expect me to ice your dead body
so you can blow me off again?
No, I've been blowing off everyone,
Jake C and my family, to be here with you.
[exhales] Shit.
Family dinner. I forgot about that.
You and this body
are my number one priority.
Today happened so fast.
You know that I don't know the first thing
about being the center of attention
or having a troll,
who refuses to take down his comment,
even though I've tried to reason and beg
and make him the star
of a very important senior moment.
It is a lot to process, but, honestly,
I know that I would not be
Erika Vu Bitch without you.
You are the reason that I
we have gotten this far.
You know what? I I will handle the ice.
You go to family dinner.
No, I can't do that to you,
even if it might be my last one, I
- I just can't.
- Go!
- Are you sure?
- I said go!
Sorry for trolling you, bestie.
You'll thank me later.
[text sent alert chimes]
- [car approaching]
- ["Guerilla" playing on car stereo]
- [Riley] Yes, girl!
- [Erika laughs]
That bitch!
["Guerilla" continues]
She the best
She the best when she move it ♪
Shake it too hard
And she just might losе it ♪
Bubblegum, bubble butt, bubblegum ♪
Shе the crazy one going apeshit dumb ♪
Hiding her mind
Smoke away depression ♪
Damn, that guy he keeping her guessin' ♪
Bolo tie, why's he making impressions? ♪
Look like her exes ♪
They good, they tight
They pull her under ♪
East side guys
They bring the thunder ♪
Yeah ♪
Guerilla, guerilla ♪
Yeah ♪
Guerilla, guerilla ♪
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