Carol's Second Act (2019) s01e16 Episode Script

Carol's Crush

I didn't even know you could fit a pine cone in there.
Oh, you can fit it in, but only a medical professional can get it out.
Frost, Dr.
Any news about Eddie? Nothing yet, but you can rest assured, with Dr.
Lewis as his surgeon, - he's in great hands.
- Meh.
I just mean, does any surgeon truly deserve to be called great? Cut, cut, snip, snip, a little light sewing.
The whole profession's basic arts and crafts.
- Yes, sir.
But if we - But when a magazine makes a list of California's sexiest doctors, you better believe it's surgeons as far as the eye can see.
I never should have shown him that article.
Hey, Mom.
Any news? Nothing yet.
And the wait is driving me crazy.
Hey, everyone.
Hello, Jenny.
Nice seeing you for the first time today.
You look well.
Ugh, enough.
We all know you're hooking up.
- It's obvious.
- Yeah, you both leave at the same time and you show back up at the same time.
Even I can tell.
The little looks between you, the walks to the parking garage, the texts on Jenny's phone.
Well, you shouldn't just leave it in your purse.
Okay, great.
You got us.
This is happening.
Okay, so what's happening? It's casual? It's very casual? I's almost over? We're not labeling it, Mom.
We're exploring, we're discovering.
Ugh, I'm sorry I asked.
That's plenty.
I'm just realizing that Dr.
Kenney probably expects me to deliver this news with balloons or confetti, but the transplant was a success.
Oh! Thank goodness! - Oh, my God.
You are a miracle worker.
- Oh.
An absolute miracle worker.
You just saved a man's life.
Can you believe that? I bet you're jazzed.
Are you jazzed? I suppose I'm a little jazzed.
Well, you should be.
This man deserves a pat on the back.
- He is a hero.
- No, no, no.
It's thanks to you that he made it to surgery at all.
I mean, well, that's a very kind thing of you to say.
I'm embarrassed.
I don't even I mean, - wow.
- I'm going back upstairs.
Well, don't be a stranger.
You're welcome back here any time.
I mean, of course you are.
You work here.
Okay, bye.
You are deeply in love with that man.
Oh, come on, stop it.
I'm just excited that Eddie is okay.
Is Eddie the reason why you wore your favorite earrings today? I definitely noticed those thirsty little hoops.
Guys, lay off.
There are already enough barriers to love without the fear of getting teased.
Carol? I hope you find what we have.
I liked this better when it was a secret.
Knock, knock.
Eddie, oh, my gosh.
You look great.
Oh, I feel great, too.
I'm thinking of replacing more of my organs.
Maybe start with a kidney, upgrade the ticker, then if all goes well, I'll do my breasts.
Oh I don't want you to leave.
Carol, you hold him down, I'll break his legs.
I'm gonna miss you guys, too.
Hey, can I ask you guys something? It's a little sentimental.
Sentimental? You have my attention.
The whole time I've been cooped up in here, I've been dreaming of fresh air.
So, when I'm cleared to leave, the first thing I want to do is go up to the roof and raise a toast.
A little thank you from me to my doctors.
Don't worry, little guy, it's nonalcoholic.
Oh, Eddie.
You want to toast us on the roof? I'm gonna tell you right now, I will be sobbing.
Frankly, I'm surprised I'm not already sobbing.
Wait, here it comes.
Think about Daniel and Jenny hooking up.
I'm back.
Oh, Eddie, that would be lovely.
As long as we can avoid the pigeons and the trauma helicopters.
Trauma helicopters, filthy birds, nonalcoholic booze.
What can I say? I know how to party.
Now tell me, how are things going with your surgeon? What? He's been in the hospital for three months.
Gossip's all he has.
It might be true that I have an itty-bitty, teensy-weensy, not even a big deal crush on Dr.
- Ooh - But I Okay.
I don't know how he feels.
And he certainly hasn't expressed any interest.
Well, dating at work is tough these days.
As a guy, you don't want to do anything disrespectful, so sometimes you have to wait for the woman to make the first move.
Really? I have to flirt with him? Oh, my gosh.
I don't know if I even remember how.
Carol, how long has it been since you flirted with a guy? On purpose? 30 years.
Unintentionally? A week.
Caleb had a little piece of lint on his cheek.
I leaned in to blow it off and I accidentally kissed him.
Take it from a guy who stared death in the face: you got to take your shots.
You'll be great.
Just tell him it looks like he's been working out.
Guys love that stuff.
If he flirts back, you know he likes you.
Oh, well, I just might.
But right now, you get some rest.
I'm gonna order you some pain killers.
And a pair of D cups.
Let's go C.
I want it to look natural.
So, the ER sent you up for a possible concussion, but I don't see any bruises or swelling.
Huh, that's weird, because I definitely got kicked in the head by three different horses.
Before we order an MRI, would you say you're nauseous? No, in fact, I'm pretty hungry.
Are you dizzy? No.
Everything's fine, except for this awful concussion.
Well, you don't have the two main symptoms of a concussion, so we can rule that out.
Oh, man, really? Can you ask me those questions again? All right, Greg.
What's going on? The truth is, I'm having the worst week of my life.
- My girlfriend broke up with me.
- Oof.
- While I was proposing.
- Oof.
Because she's in love with my best friend.
And while I was in my apartment, sobbing, my car got stolen.
I was so depressed, I didn't go to work for three days.
I work at this furniture store, Danny's Oh, that's where I got my dining room chair.
You bought one dining room chair? Uh-huh.
Anyway, my boss was about to fire me, but I told him I was sick.
He said to keep my job, I need a doctor's note.
Oh, I don't know.
Writing a fake doctor's note is sort of a gray area.
I don't want to get you guys in trouble.
It's just, if I lose this job, I lose my insurance.
And that's literally the only thing I have left.
I-I really would like to help you.
You seem so pathetic.
Thank you.
Hey, you said you were feeling depressed, right? - Totally.
- Oh.
Then we can give you a note saying you visited the doctor for a legitimate medical concern.
- Really? - Yeah.
Oh, man.
You two are the best.
This will just take a minute.
Ah There he is.
Carol, are you ready to get your flirt on? I don't know, I just finished my salad, and I think you're supposed to wait 30 minutes after eating? Carol, come on.
Trust me, I know from experience.
It'll all be worth it when you and that special person get to finally connect both emotionally and physically - No.
- Dude, that is her daughter.
Okay, listen, I can do this.
I just have to go over there and be friendly.
No, no, no, no.
Regular Carol is friendly.
He needs to know that you want a piece of that.
So, when in doubt, I say lick your lips.
Okay, definitely don't do that.
I like Eddie's advice.
Just compliment his body.
That should be easy.
He has great wrists.
Carol, do not listen to these amateurs, all right? Just mention a restaurant you want to try, and if he takes the bait, - it means he likes you.
- Right.
Like, "Hey, are you a fan of the Spaghetti Factory?" You've all been a huge help.
- Hi.
- Oh.
Sorry, that-that came out louder than I intended.
- Ah.
Good to see you, Dr.
- Yeah.
I-I'm sorry.
Am I, uh, blocking the bananas? Uh, no.
Um, I already ate.
Uh, just, uh, just wanted to say howdy.
Very nice.
It's sort of the sandwich of Mexico.
Actually, a Mexican sandwich is a called a torta.
Oh, wow.
Neat fact.
So, um Dr.
Lewis, have you been working out? Excuse me? I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it as a personal comment.
I-I only ask because I'm looking for a gym.
For exercise.
Because I've gained weight.
Really? Well, have you considered a low-carb diet? Well, I would, but I just can't get enough of those tortas.
The ones I just told you about? Uh-huh.
Oh, um, Dr.
Lewis, speaking of food, have you heard? There is a great new sushi restaurant that opened up just across the street.
I don't know if you're a fan of ginger, but you can have as much as you want.
Well, I love sushi.
You know what, I should give it a try.
Thanks, Carol.
Oh, darn it.
I'm-I'm getting paged.
Uh, nice seeing you, Dr.
Uh, Carol, uh, I'm gonna be real: t-that was terrible.
Oh I'm sorry for the sounds I'm making.
Hold up, is that a massage chair? One of your patients sent it.
"Thank you for lying for me and saving my job.
Sincerely, Greg", in parentheses, "The Kicked in the Head by a Horse Guy".
Daniel, vamoose.
I want that cushion to form to my butt.
Lexie, we need to return it.
Great idea.
Or, hear me out, we keep it forever.
Lexie, of one If we just ask Dr.
Frost, can we skip the speech? Hey.
Massage chair? Lexie and Caleb got it as part of a bribe.
You should try it.
It'll make you forget all about yesterday.
Oh, my God, I can't stop thinking about that.
It was excruciating.
I have never been so humiliated.
I mean, I put myself out there in the most obvious way.
He gave me nothing back.
Not a sign.
At least we know how he feels about me.
Case closed.
Hey, hey, Carol, you tried.
Not everybody can say that.
Hey, Carol, everyone.
I was just in the neighborhood and thought maybe I could fill up in here.
I-I don't want to interrupt anything.
No, of course not.
Help yourself.
Thank you.
It's nice in here.
I see you have a couch.
Yes, we do.
We call her "Ol' Couchy".
Okay, I will see you later.
See ya.
"Ol' Couchy"? What is wrong with me?! Uh, Carol, you're missing the point.
That was your sign.
He's into you.
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
Why else would he have come in here? For a coffee.
He told us.
Carol, the surgeons' lounge has a professional-quality espresso machine.
We use newspaper for a coffee filter.
He did not come in here for the coffee.
He came in here for the Carol.
Oh, my.
He likes me.
- Yeah! - Ooh, ooh! Wait, so he pretended to stop by for coffee - just so he could see you? - I That is the cutest thing I've ever heard.
I mean, I think he was even a little nervous.
He complimented our couch.
That garbage couch? It is garbage.
You know, for someone who once said they didn't approve of workplace romances, you are dangerously close to being in one.
- You think I'm dangerously close? - Yes.
Okay, so what do I do? I think you should text him.
Text him? You don't think that's too forward? No, it's exactly forward enough.
I guess it's like Eddie said.
I should just take my shot.
- Yeah.
- All right.
To craft the perfect text.
"Hey" Send.
That's really good.
And now we wait.
I think when you see this gift, you'll understand why we're concerned.
Or you'll be like, "This is no biggie.
Lexie was right the whole time.
Pip pip cheerio".
Your impression of me has improved, Dr.
Now, I do love a juicy moral dilemma, so let's see what we've got.
Oh, my goodness.
Wow, this is troubling.
First of all, Dennis, stop making eye contact.
And second, this chair is the gift? I know.
Cool, right? When you said "a sizeable gift", I thought you meant a big cake.
This is unprecedented.
Oh, so there's no precedent.
We can keep it.
And I'm disappointed in you both.
You should never accept a gift in exchange for medical services.
I'm sorry, Dr.
Well, what can we do? For now, I want you to find the hardest, most unforgiving chairs in the cafeteria, sit in them and think about what you've done.
So, if they can't keep it, what are you gonna do? I'm gonna give this to someone who really deserves it.
Oh God, what was I thinking? I should never have texted him.
Oh, my God.
And "hey"? That's terrible.
"Hey!" "Hey" Idiot.
Mom, it's fine.
It's only been three minutes.
Well I mean, that's it.
I'm shutting it down.
Dating is not for me.
I mean, okay, I admit I was excited by the idea that a handsome, successful man might like me.
But dating is just so uncomfortable.
I mean, what comes next? We go get martinis.
And then what if we have nothing to say to each other? What if he wants to kiss me? What if he doesn't want to kiss me? What if he wants to have sex Mom! It just It freaks me out.
And for what? For the opportunity to take care of a man who's sliding down the wrong side of the hill into incontinence and dementia.
Okay, this is a full spiral.
No, that's it.
Jenny, take my phone.
I don't want to check it for the rest of the night.
Mom, Dr.
Lewis is calling.
Give it to me! - How do I look? - It's a phone call.
Of course.
- Thanks for calling.
- Oh, no.
Mom, that man is an idiot.
No, no, no.
It's not that.
Our patient Eddie, he died.
It's like he was never there.
Jacobs told me this is the first time you've lost a patient.
How are you? A few hours ago, we were laughing and celebrating.
What happened? His immune response was too strong.
It's the hardest part about this job: the unpredictability.
Ten percent of the time, the immunosuppressants just aren't enough.
There's nothing you or any of us could have done about it.
I-I can't believe how quickly things move on.
It may seem callous, but death is a common thing here.
We have a job to do, and other people to take care of.
I promise, over time, it does get easier.
Do I want it to get easier? If you need anything, I'm around.
Sometimes I find it helps me to take a private moment to say goodbye in my own way.
Hang in there.
Well, Eddie, you stood me up.
Not cool.
I did steal your bottle of fake booze, though, so I guess we can call it even.
Oh, boy.
I mean, you were cooped up in that tiny room for months, and somehow you seemed like the happiest person in the hospital.
You know, you just you never lost your joy or your sense of humor.
You just lived every day to the fullest.
Even if, for the last little while, all it meant was switching the kickers on your fantasy football team.
I'm gonna miss you.
- Dr.
- Dr.
I'm sorry, I I guess Eddie told you his plan, too.
I thought they'd thrown the bottle out.
I had to run to the corner store.
Seemed important to him.
I owe you an apology.
You said that letting patients in makes it harder to do your job, and you were right.
I should have never pushed you to do that.
I didn't know how bad it felt.
- Mm.
- Yeah.
No, I was glad that I got to know Eddie.
I I haven't felt connected to a patient like this in a long time.
Which is funny because it's sort of the reason I got into medicine in the first place.
- So thank you.
- Oh, you're you're welcome.
You actually have had quite an effect on me.
In fact, I actually feel like doing things that I normally wouldn't.
Oh, really? Like what? - Trauma helicopter! - Get down! I can't believe Eddie's gone.
This isn't gonna be the last time this happens.
But we'll be here for each other.
If either of you need me to mentor you through this, I'm here.
Daniel, I'm older than you.
But I'm wise.
I just hope Carol isn't taking this too hard.
What the heck happened? Nothing.
Just nothing.
Oh, I see what happened.

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