Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018) s02e01 Episode Script

Chapter Twelve: The Epiphany

1 [BABY CRIES] [BABY WAILING] [GASPS] [SIGHS] She sings from somewhere you can't see She sits in the top Of the greenest tree She sends out an aroma - Of undefined love - [PURRS AND MEOWS] It drips on down in a mist from above She's just the girl She's just the girl The girl you want She's just the girl She's just the girl The girl you want - You hear her calling - [MEOWS] Everywhere you turn You know you're headed For the pleasure burn But the words get stuck On the tip of your tongue She's the real thing - But you knew it all along - [SIGHS] Morning, Aunties.
Ambrose.
Deafening morning, you mean.
- Wasn't that music rather loud? - Loud enough to wake the dead.
[CHUCKLES] Too soon for resurrection jokes? - Mm-hm.
- And since when do you wear black? - Trying to be edgy, are you? - Loosen up, Aunt Zee.
It's a new year, a new cycle.
Time to blow the cobwebs away.
On that, we can agree.
- Oh, Hilda, any calls for the mortuary? - Not a sausage.
And I checked the obits, it should be quiet here.
Like the tomb.
Marvelous.
We'll take the hearse to the Academy.
- Oh, can I ride with you guys? - Oh, we're going tout de suite.
The High Priest would like to introduce me to the other faculty members before First Assembly.
And isn't Baxter High back in session today? It is, but I was thinking I should start focusing on my witch studies more exclusively.
For a bit.
Are you dropping out of high school, cousin? I'm just taking a sabbatical.
- What's this about, love? - Education, Aunt Hilda.
At Baxter High, I study geometry.
At the Academy of Unseen Arts, I study sacred geometry.
The Academy's curriculum is just more rigorous and rewarding than Baxter High's.
Do you not want to see Rosalind and Susie, and Har Mm-mm.
Uhh Your other friends? I'll call Baxter High and tell them you've contracted scarlet fever and not to expect you for the next two weeks.
Don't worry, Aunt Zelda.
I've already spoken with the new principal, and she's given me an indefinite leave of absence.
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] - [MS.
WARDWELL] Mr.
Marlin.
Is that gum in your mouth? I guess so.
It states clearly in Baxter High's Rules and Regulations that there shall be no gum-chewing, so swallow that wad in your mouth, Billy.
[GULPS] [WHOOSHING] Sorry about that, Ms.
Wardwell.
Oh, it's Principal Wardwell now.
Carry on.
[HARVEY] Have either of you talked to or seen Sabrina? - [ROZ] Uh - Relax, it's just a question.
I think she's figuring things out, Harvey.
Yeah.
Life goes on, right? Are you taking AP art class again? I I can't.
I'm playing basketball this year.
Or trying out, at least.
Dad set up a backboard over the garage.
We played some one-on-one over break.
You and your dad did? Yeah, he's been doing good.
Better since the magic eggnog.
When are tryouts? 'Cause, no offense to WICCA, Roz, but I might wanna play basketball, too.
- But there's only a boys' team, Suse.
- Yeah.
So? [FATHER BLACKWOOD] Sister Zelda.
If I am the hand that molds our young pupils' minds, these are my fingers.
This is Brother Machen, Sister Carswell, Brother Lovecraft, - Brother Bierce, and Sister Jackson.
- Hello.
Hello.
So lovely to meet you in this new context.
- As my wife Constance did before her death - [BABY CRYING] Sister Zelda will be teaching ancient tongues and sacred scripture.
And may I say how honored I am - to be working alongside you.
- [SHUSHING] After my brother Edward's death, I never dreamed I'd be once again teaching at the Academy.
Prudence, what is wrong with my son? Why is he crying? How am I to know? Though you treat me like a wet nurse, Father, I am not one.
You forget yourself, Prudence.
I'll treat you as I please.
Now quiet Baby Judas.
There, there, you cherubic little devil.
- [BABY COOS] - What did you do? Reflexology to calm him.
- Have you been giving Judas goat's milk? - As you instructed, yes.
Sister Zelda, you are a hellsend.
[NICK] Sabrina? You're just in time for one of the Academy's grand traditions.
Please don't tell me some kid's getting eaten alive today.
Fingers crossed.
Come on, hurry.
By the way, glad you're sticking with the new hair.
It's hot.
Good morning to you, my young warlocks and witches.
[MURMUR OF CONVERSATION] If I could have your attention, please.
Now, with every fresh cycle at the Academy comes the customary election of a new Top Boy, tasked with serving as a liaison between students and faculty, as well as providing a much-needed example for the rest of you lot.
- The floor is now open for student nominations.
- [BOY] Nick! - Nick! - Yeah! - [ALL] Yeah! - [CHEERING] [ALL CHANTING] Nick! Nick! Nick! Nick! As candidate for Top Boy, the Academy recognizes Nicholas Scratch.
[CHEERING] Would anyone like to challenge Nicholas? [CHUCKLES] I thought not.
Young Master Nicholas, if you accept this nomination Excuse me, Father Blackwood, but can anyone run? The Top Boy is traditionally a male student.
But is that an actual rule in a rule book, or All Top Boy candidates are required to be full-time students, committed to our unseen arts.
Well, I'm here, Father, full-time.
For the foreseeable future.
And I signed the Book of the Beast, because that was the Dark Lord's will.
But unless he specifically hand-picked Nick, I'd like the opportunity to contribute to the Academy in a meaningful way.
By disrupting the first morning assembly you attend? By ensuring that all students, regardless of gender, feel they have a voice.
I nominate Sabrina Spellman.
[STUDENTS MURMURING AND LAUGHING] [PRUDENCE] Seconded.
[NICK] I don't mind a little competition.
- Especially not when it's so damn cute.
- [LAUGHTER] [WHISTLING AND CHEERING] Indeed, the Academy recognizes Sabrina Spellman, who will join Nicholas Scratch in three challenges of witchcraft to be held in the Desecrated Church.
The Inquisition, the Boil and Bubble, and the Conjuring.
Followed by a vote.
And may the Dark Lord be with you both.
- Dismissed.
- [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] [ZELDA] Remember, Hilda? - When Edward was Top Boy at the Academy? - Mm.
How he dazzled the coven with his knowledge and rhetoric? Aah.
That appointment changed his life.
It's a straight shot from Top Boy to High Priest! Top Boy, Sabrina? I mean, that suggests a certain kind of permanence, doesn't it? The gauntlet was thrown, Aunt Hilda.
And you, rabble-rouser that you are, had to take it up.
Hm.
You two look dashing.
- We'll give Nick your best.
- You're meeting Nick? - Where? - [LUKE] A club for warlocks.
Dorian's Gray Room.
It's Academy tradition for the High Priest to take prospective Top Boys out - for a night of debauchery.
- Then why wasn't I invited? Ah, it's a club for men only.
Pish-tush, you couldn't go even if you were invited, Sabrina.
You've got far too much studying to do before the Inquisition.
If you hurry, you might catch Cassius before he shutters the Academy's library for the night.
Hm? I'll do that.
But, guys, when the time comes, I will have your vote, won't I? Not mine.
It's Top Boy for a reason, Sabrina.
Thanks for the support, Luke.
Ambrose? Let's see how you do in the three challenges, first.
Am I crazy or was Ambrose just throwing shade at me? Throwing what? [ZELDA] Hm.
Definitely throwing shade.
[SIGHS] I took the liberty of selecting a few volumes you might wish to peruse before tomorrow's Inquisition.
Oh, thank you, Cassius.
Not at all, Ms.
Spellman.
Just lock up when you're through, won't you? Hm.
I'll probably still be here in the morning when you get back.
- [FATHER BLACKWOOD] Hail Satan! - [ALL] Hail Satan! Before we get started, boys, I need to make one thing very clear.
As your High Priest and Headmaster, I know nothing of the debauchery that goes on in a setting as ill-reputed as this club.
Indeed, I am not even here.
[LAUGHTER] In my day, I was Top Boy at the Academy, and that appointment shaped me.
Taught me values I still uphold today.
But tonight we're just men.
And to that end, I've arranged a little amusement.
Luke? Enjoy yourselves, boys.
Try to keep your hands to yourselves.
If you can.
Gentlemen, your attention, please.
Back for one night only, the daughter of Herod, the harlot-queen of history, she is renowned for stealing men's hearts and heads.
The eighth wonder of the world Salome! I love to love you, baby I love to love you, baby When you're layin' so close to me There's no place I'd rather you be Than with me Yeah - Oh - I love to love you, baby I love to love you, baby [SQUEAKING] I love to love you, baby I love to love you, baby [SQUEAKING] [DEEP THUD] Hello? Cassius, is that you? Aaah! You are the child born of Spellman.
- Who are you? - Know me, girl.
I am Asmodeus.
Is this some kind of joke? Because if it is, it's not funny.
I bring you tidings of filth and disease.
I bring you the minions of plague.
Swarming again to infect and feast on the flesh of a bastard witch.
[GRUNTS] [SQUEAKING] [SABRINA] Come on.
Come on! Oh I love to love you, baby Oh Aah! Come on, come on! Potions, bindings, glamours Come on.
Where's a book of banishments when you need one? Or Salem, for that matter.
Oh I love to love you, baby Love to love you, baby What kind of sick joke is this? Love to love you, baby That, Nicholas, is a reminder of this competition's only acceptable outcome.
- [GRUNTING] - [SQUEAKING] Pons meum aer fiat.
Scriptum quod peto mihi mitte.
Tergente fuoco quod evoco.
Te exigo.
- [SCREAMING] - [CRUNCHING] [SIGHS] Fancy a nightcap, cousin? How was your night out with the warlocks? Decadent.
Though I believe Father Blackwood has somewhat lost his head.
I bet it was better than my night.
Considering I was attacked.
Attacked? By who? A demon and his pet rats.
So, of course, I'm wondering if your rat-fink boyfriend was behind it.
L Luke? Why? Demons don't just summon themselves, Ambrose, they have to be freed - or called forth by someone.
- Okay.
You think Luke summoned a demon to attack you why? I don't know.
To throw me off my game? I mean, it's clear neither Luke nor you are supporting my bid to be Top Boy.
Now hold on, I never said I wasn't You never said you were.
Need I remind you the only reason you're even at the Academy is 'cause the Court of Witches ordered you to be? Things are different now, Ambrose.
I want to be Top Person because I believe I can make the coven better.
Really? Because you spurn the coven at every turn, you question our every ritual, - you assail every tradition, so excuse - Not every tradition.
Just the ones that involve the murder and cannibalization of young witches.
Please.
You know what? I don't even want to argue.
Maybe I do.
[DOOR SLAM ECHOING] Maybe I want a warm-up for tomorrow's contest.
- You're crazy.
- No, Ambrose.
I'm mad.
- Top Boy? - [RUMBLING] - Seriously? - [WIND WHISTLING] Blackwood takes warlocks out for drinks at a gentlemen's club? - What century are you living in? - Sabrina, you're picking a fight, and I have no idea why.
Didn't you hear me, Ambrose? - [RATTLING] - I was attacked and I think your boyfriend or one of his warlock buddies was behind it.
That's That's absurd.
I was with Luke the whole time.
Tell Luke, tell all your chums, - if anyone in this house is Top Boy - [GASPS] it's me.
- What's happening in here? - [BOTH] Nothing, Aunt Hilda.
Well, I heard yelling and wind - and furniture shaking.
- Everything's fine, Hilda, go to bed.
I beg your pardon, Miss? You go to bed.
School night.
[DOOR OPENS] Now that we're beginning a new cycle, Father, would you do me the honor of allowing me to take the Blackwood name? Hm? No.
But you are my father, and I am a Blackwood.
Technically, yes.
Technically.
And if I said I wanted to be considered for Top Boy? I wouldn't allow you to embarrass yourself or me in that way.
- [KNOCK AT DOOR] - [SABRINA] Father Blackwood? Dear Lord in Hell.
Does no one have respect for this office? Shouldn't you be in the church preparing for your first challenge, Miss Spellman? - Yes, she should.
- About that.
- I was hoping for a postponement, sir.
- I'm sorry, Your Excellency.
- I told her it would be - Out of the question.
Last night, I was attacked in the library by a demon and his rats.
They were trying to make me sick, infect me, possibly kill me.
Is this true, Zelda? Apparently, someone summoned a demon to meddle with my niece.
Uh, I've given her a witch-whistle and blinding powder for her protection.
[FATHER BLACKWOOD] The contest will proceed as scheduled.
But by all means, take a moment if you need one, collect yourself.
Zelda, I want you in the front pew.
Prudence, stay here and tend to Baby Judas's needs.
Were you really attacked? Yes.
And it's not an excuse, but I didn't have any time to study.
And now I'm gonna lose to Nicholas, which wouldn't be so bad, except it's in front of Luke - and all those other smug warlock boys.
- And my snob father, who treats his own daughter like a charwoman.
But he won't keep us both down, Sabrina.
Go to the Inquisition.
Leave the rest to me.
[JUDAS COOS] [MURMUR OF VOICES] Listen, last night, when you vanished during Salome's dance, where did you go? Private business for Father Blackwood.
The The Academy? It's private, Ambrose.
This first challenge tests the depth of knowledge of our two candidates.
Questions are drawn from the Corpus Arcanum, the shared body of infernal knowledge that unites our faith and our craft.
Men first.
Nicholas, in sacred geometry, what configuration represents the perfection of our Lord Satan's design for his people? Easy.
Uh, the pentagram.
That is correct.
Point to Nicholas.
Miss Spellman, what are the five books of the Lesser Key of Solomon? - Not even I know that.
- [SABRINA] The books of the Lesser Key of Solomon are The Ars Goetia.
[ALL] The Ars Theurgia-Goetia.
The Ars Paulina.
[ALL] The Ars Almadel and the Ars Notoria.
I thought you didn't have adequate time to prepare, Miss Spellman.
Hm.
I guess I'm more of a sponge for knowledge than I originally thought.
Is that so? Then perhaps you could tell me the date of birth of the Magus John Dee? [ALL] July 13, 1527.
- Year of death? - 1608.
Let's stick to dates.
Publication of the Malleus Maleficarum? - The Salem Witchcraft Trials? - 1692.
- The Pendle Trials? - 1612.
- Date of the sorceress Anne Boleyn? - Born or died? - Born.
- 1501.
- Died? - 1536.
- Cause of death? - Beheading.
How did the mortals finally murder - our beloved Father Gregory Rasputin? - Poisoning.
I'm sorry, but the complete answer is And beating and shooting and drowning.
And finally, they destroyed the unholy reliquary - containing his mummified - [HEARTBEAT] heart.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] - [WHISTLING] - Bravo! [BOY] All right, I'll see you there.
Hey, Harvey, I'm open.
"Hey, Harvey, I'm open.
" Shoot the ball, dyke.
Okay, what is your problem with me? You, you're the problem.
This is a boys' team, and I don't know what you are, - but you're sure as hell not a boy.
- Yeah, and you're short - and can't shoot for shit.
- Okay, blockheads, I took you on once, - I'm not afraid to do it again.
- Hey, calm down, Susie.
You, too, Billy.
Back the hell off or I'll knock you on your ass.
There'll be no fighting on my team.
No girls on it, either.
- You know what, Coach Craven? - Susie, they go low, we go high.
You seem concerned, Miss Spellman.
I am, Ms.
Wardwell.
Yes.
Something is different about Sabrina.
Well, of course there is.
She had her Dark Baptism.
That changes a girl.
Um Yes, but I Hm.
I suppose my worry is that these changes coming over Sabrina are a prelude to further, darker changes.
What, precisely, would you like me to do about it? Well, I I understand that you excused her from her classes at Baxter High.
So I was just wondering if you might suggest she come back.
I mean, at least part-time.
S See, I think that it would perhaps temper the changes Sabrina's going through.
And I believe her mortal friends would keep her, and objects around her, grounded.
If she wants to attend the Academy full-time, that is her Satan-given right.
And there's nothing either of us can do to stop her.
[KNOCK AT DOOR] Principal Wardwell, can we talk to you? What seems to be the problem? Coach Craven, a word.
What can I do for you, Ms.
Wardwell? Well, it's Principal Wardwell now.
It's come to my attention that you refuse to let Susie Putnam try out for the basketball team, which is unacceptable.
There shall be absolutely no gender discrimination at Baxter High under my regime.
Okay, fine.
She can try out.
And let Miss Putnam succeed or fail based on her talent.
After all, she's four-foot nothin', she can't dribble, she has no coordination, she can't sink a basket.
But put her up against my boys, and let's see who comes out on top.
Get out there! [BLOWS WHISTLE] I don't understand.
Now I'm in trouble for being a good student? Your performance in the competition, not ten minutes after confessing you were woefully ill-prepared, is suspect, to say the least, and punishable by lashing if proven to be So you're accusing me of cheating, and threatening to whip me, Father Blackwood? This is exactly why I plan to do away with these sexist, antiquated traditions when I'm High Priestess - of the Church of Night.
- High Pr You listen to me.
Witches can ascend to a multitude of coveted fellowships within the Church of Night.
But the role of High Priest has been held by a warlock since the first stones were lain.
There will never be a High Priestess of the Church of Night.
Not according to my Aunt Zelda.
- Sabrina.
- Sister Zelda.
She may not want to admit it now, but Zelda raised me to believe I could be anything I wanted, including High Priestess.
We are talking about the office of Top Boy, not High Priest right now, Sabrina.
[CHUCKLES] And surely the next competition will weed out any transgressors, real or assumed.
Indeed.
And I will personally seal the desecrated church to ensure that at tomorrow's Boil and Bubble challenge, no external forces are being marshaled to help an under-prepared witch.
I better get studying, then.
[BIRDSONG] [RUSTLING] [SQUEAKING SOUNDS] [CHUCKLING] Bow, girl.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no [INTENSE FLUTTERING] [SQUAKING] [GROANING] Where is it? Where is it? [PLAYS SQUEAKILY] [BLADE RINGS] [PLAYS SQUEAKILY] [PLAYS HIGH-PITCHED NOTE] [DEMON SCREECHES] [SCREAMING] [SABRINA CONTINUES PLAYING] [NOTE TRAILS OFF] [BIRDSONG] [DOOR SLAMS] What? What happened? Someone's sending demons - to attack me, Aunt Hilda.
- What? Someone who really doesn't want me to be Top Boy.
Probably Father Blackwood, since he thinks I cheated.
What? Why? What? Also, I have no idea what the Boil and Bubble challenge is - or how to prepare for it.
- The Well, luckily for you, I am the Academy's never-bested, all-time reigning champion bubbler.
Gonna get you cleaned up, and I'm gonna give you a crash course.
You have to have your stable formulas memorized, because you will not be able to check your alchemical table during the contest.
And as for seasoning incantations, well, I do not like a near rhyme, and neither does the Dark Lord.
So, you stick to your rhyming couplets, and you will not falter.
Looks like an all-nighter for me.
Is it worth it, do you think? To be Top Boy? Well, I can't back down.
No.
No matter what they throw at me.
I mean, what about your your mortal friends, my love? Hm? And your life at Baxter High? [SIGHS] - I don't think they'd welcome me.
- Hm? Not after I signed my name in the Book of the Beast.
Well, I I I bumped into them, you know.
Susie and Rosalind and Har You can say his name.
Harvey.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, you signed your name in the Book of the Beast.
And, yes, it does.
It It shifts things.
But it don't change who you are.
- But it does.
- Hm? My soul is who I am, and I signed it away.
Willingly and in blood.
Ye Yeah, we all did.
But there's a difference.
When I signed the Book of the Beast, the Dark Lord said he would call on me to do his dark bidding and that I wouldn't be able to refuse him.
That might be in a week, or a month, or ten years, but it will happen.
And I don't want to be anywhere near my mortal friends when it does.
I don't want them hurt, and I don't want them to see me that way.
Right [BUBBLING] [MURMUR OF CONVERSATION] Wanton hussy.
I beg your pardon.
Everyone knows about you and the High Priest, Zelda.
It's shameful, with poor Constance not even cold in her grave.
Some are even saying you had a hand in her demise.
- Button your lip, or I'll do it for you - [DOOR OPENS] - [FATHER BLACKWOOD] Good morning.
- literally.
Nicholas.
Miss Spellman.
For this second challenge, you have to demonstrate your mastery of potion-making.
You will each add a material component to the cauldron.
Add the wrong ingredient, with the wrong phraseology, and the concoction will putrefy.
The first to cause rancification loses.
And as punishment, he or, more likely, she will ingest the spoilage.
Are you ready? As potion-making is one of the more womanly arts, you may go first, Miss Spellman.
Molted skin of cobra snake In the cauldron, seethe and bake [BUBBLING] [HISSING] [SPLUTTERS] The potion remains stable.
Nicholas, you may choose.
Cool it with newborn's blood Then the brew will be firm and good [SOFT BUBBLING] Well done.
Miss Spellman.
Blind white eye of cave-born shark Brought untimely from the dark [LOUD BUBBLING] Putrefied, I'm afraid.
[MUTTERING AND SIGHING] [WOMAN WHISPERS] Did you see that? Miss Spellman.
[WHISPERING] Sabrina, wait.
[CHANTING] Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! [CHEERING] [BOY] All right, Sabrina! [GAGS] [WHOOPING AND CHEERING] [APPLAUSE] [GURGLING] [CHANTING] Sabrina! Sabrina! Sabrina! Sabrina! Sabrina! Sabrina! - Sabrina! Sabrina! Sabrina! - [APPLAUSE] - Here you are.
- I think I'm gonna puke again.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, well.
Better out than in.
A little Pepto for your tummy.
- Thanks, Aunt Hilda.
- Good girl.
Okay.
So You know what I think would make you feel much better? Is going to see your mortal friends.
And before you pooh-pooh me, a little birdy told me that Susie's trying out for the basketball team today.
But Baxter High doesn't have a girls' basketball Susie's trying out for the boys' team along with Har Harvey.
So So, come on.
Why don't you go and show them some support? Especially Susie.
I don't think the basketball coach or much of the team want her there.
- Just 'cause she's a girl? - Mm-hm.
That's just wrong.
I know that.
So, come on.
If you hurry, you'll make it.
[WHISTLE BLOWS] [COACH CRAVEN] All right, boys, let's go.
Game time! - Red versus gray.
- [BLOWS WHISTLE] Get a move on.
Come on! Can I get some hustle? Come on.
[COACH CRAVEN] Defense! Put your hands up! Something bad if I got you there You read my palm Till I drop you again Keep it in, turn it up Before it ends I try to see you But I can't seem to win Okay.
Driving so thin And then you take me out to dine And I teach you how [COACH CRAVEN] Play as you want! [ECHOING] Shoot it, Suse! Pons meum aer fiat.
Ad illuc hoc ducunt oculi mei.
Nice, Susie.
Just keep doin' that.
You read my palm till I drop you again Keep it in, turn it up Before it ends Ad illuc hoc ducunt oculi mei.
Pons meum aer fiat.
Ad illuc hoc ducunt oculi mei.
Pons meum aer fiat.
Ad illuc hoc ducunt oculi mei.
[CHEERING] Pons meum aer fiat.
Ad illuc hoc ducunt oculi mei.
[HARVEY] Yeah! [ROZ LAUGHING] Susie! You did it! - You did it, Suse! - Wow! No way Coach Craven doesn't let you on the team now.
- [LAUGHING] - Um Actually, guys, it's Theo now.
- Theo.
- Yeah.
[LAUGHING] - Sounds good! - [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE] [THUNDERCLAP] [OMINOUS DONG] - [GROWLS] - [SCREAMS] [GASPS] [FLIES BUZZING] Oh, no.
[GROWLING] More tidings? The last of the three.
- Why did you come for me? - [CREAKING] Who sent you? - Summoned you? - Your hands are bound.
- No spell-casting for you.
- [GRUNTS] - Why are you doing this? - No one else would.
- Only my brothers and I would dare it.
- Dare what? Just say it! - [MARY] Beelzebub.
- Huh? Lord of Flies, I name you and bind you here, before me, in Lucifer's name, your Lord.
[SCOFFS] Lucifer? Aah, I stood beside the Son of Dawn before witch and mankind walked upon the Earth.
Aah, but do I not know you? I am Mary Wardwell.
You are trespassing, demon.
No, I recognize you.
[SCREAMS] - [SIGHS] - [FLY WHINES] [SIGHS] Well, Sabrina how's your sabbatical been so far? If demons are hunting you with any regularity, perhaps you should transfer back to Baxter High.
It would please your Aunt Hilda, and I could keep an eye on you.
It's all because of this stupid election.
I just have to get through it.
- What election is that? - At the Academy.
I'm campaigning to be Father Blackwood's Top Boy.
Oh, I see.
And, uh stab in the dark, the warlocks aren't too keen on the idea of a female Top Boy, are they? - No.
- How many boys are you competing against? - Just one.
Nick Scratch.
Well, with a name like that, I can only imagine he's trouble.
- Oh, no, he's, uh - Yes? a friend.
- He wouldn't.
- Oh.
- Nick wouldn't.
- Sabrina, Sabrina, Sabrina Is someone having a rebound crush? Is some handsome young warlock clouding your judgment? No, Miss Wardwell, I'm telling you.
What does this provocatively named Nick Scratch study at the Academy? He's a a conjuror.
Um Miss Wardwell, I have to go.
I think you'd better.
Please don't be a stranger.
[SIGHS] Faustus, I was called a wanton hussy today.
Apparently, there's a faction in the coven that believes our relationship is inappropriate.
I don't particularly care what a gaggle of withered hags thinks about me.
What's important is what I think.
And I must admit, I don't quite understand who or what we are to each other.
I'm your High Priest.
You're one of my disciples.
My son's Night Mother.
And when the fancy strikes you, I'm also your night maiden.
I have no shame or regrets.
But I must have clarity.
Do you intend to make me your Top Lady, as it were? It would certainly silence wagging tongues.
Sister Zelda, there is a mourning period we must respect in the eyes of our coven.
You're right, Father Blackwood.
Wiser to respect decorum.
Until you've had enough time to mourn, we shall be all business.
That means, as much as I enjoy our trysts, no more secret assignations or flagellations.
That is, until you're ready to make us legitimate.
Good evening, Nicholas.
Brushing up for the final challenge tomorrow? As a matter of fact, yes.
But it's a contest of conjuring.
Isn't that your specialty? Yes, but you've proven yourself a formidable opponent, Sabrina.
So formidable you'd stoop to releasing demons to torment me? Rats, bats, and flies? Okay, admittedly, I'm not above playing dirty.
But not against you.
I certainly wouldn't put you in any danger.
If not you, then one of your boys.
Rats, bats, and flies? "In the Monarchy of Hell, there are three Plague Kings.
" [SABRINA] That's them, without a doubt.
Well, I can tell you this.
These aren't lesser demons that can be summoned by a novice.
I'm the best student conjurer at the Academy.
- Even I couldn't manage this alone.
- Then who? Father Blackwood? One way to find out.
For the final challenge, both Mr.
Scratch and Miss Spellman's knowledge of demonic conjuring will be put to the test.
As we well know, the more complex and exact the sacred geometry used, the more impressive the demon they'll be able to summon and safely contain within the circle's circumference.
In your own good time, Miss Spellman, Mr.
Scratch.
- We're ready, Father Blackwood.
- Good.
- I'm good to go, Sabrina, are you? - I'm ready.
Let's seal the deal.
What What are you two playing at? Sever your circles at once.
This is not within the rules of the challenge.
Neither is sending demons to attack and kill me, Father Blackwood, unless you consider that to be in the spirit of friendly competition.
I beg your pardon.
What are you accusing me of? I am accusing you, or someone in this room, of being so against my bid to be Top Person that they would send high demons to attack me.
So we're using our combined talents and the magics of this binding shape to get the truth straight from the horse's mouth.
[BOTH] Vos evoco, formidabiles reges.
[SCREECHING] Remain calm! Stay in your seats! The energies are too volatile.
ubi dolores habitant! Demons, we fix and hold you in our grasp! Demons, we keep you bound by Satan's will! [BOTH] We command you to speak your names aloud.
I am Beelzebub, Lord of Flies.
I am Asmodeus, Lord of Vermin.
I am Purson, Lord of Shadow.
You three Kings of Hell were sent here, dispatched with orders to kill me.
Who gave the order? Was it a witch? A warlock? Or was it the High Priest? [CHUCKLING] We are not pawns of the filthy little covens of Satan, girl.
[PURSON] Neither are we pawns of Satan.
We are not commanded.
We are Kings.
And we wish death upon the half-spawn witch and the chaos she engenders! She must be stopped! Stopped from doing what? [ALL] The half-witch must not ascend! In what way ascend? What are you Enough! Beelzebub I banish you.
[GROWLS] Purson, I banish you.
[SCREECHES] Asmodeus I banish you.
[SCREECHING] [BREATHING HEAVILY] And you two.
You make a mockery of the Academy.
I want you both in my office, immediately.
You put all of your classmates at risk.
And did you find the answer you were looking for, Agatha Christie? You heard the demons yourself.
No one conjured them.
Demons acting of their own volition, they must be riled up about something.
They're demons.
Ascribing motivations to them is folly.
And there is still the matter of Top Boy to be settled.
If today made anything clear, it's that neither of you are capable of holding that office, so I'll be making the appointment myself.
And though it may be an unconventional, controversial choice, I, Faustus Blackwood, am naming Ambrose Spellman as new Top Boy.
- But I - Ambrose doesn't even go to this Academy! [FATHER BLACKWOOD] A technicality easily remedied.
From this moment on, Ambrose is admitted as a full-time student to the Academy of Unseen Arts.
Now out of my office, the pack of you.
Except for you, Ambrose, you stay.
I wish to discuss your future.
Uh, yes, Your Excellency.
[MURMUR OF VOICES] Fancy a bite? To celebrate? I mean, we lost, but the battle was pretty epic.
[CHUCKLES] Isn't there some, uh, diner where all the mortal kids go? Dr.
Cyclops? Dr.
Cerberus's.
Yeah.
You wanna take me? Why the hell not? So, we just call her Theo now? No.
No, we call him Theo.
Theo might look like a girl, but he's not.
He's a boy.
And that's how he's always been.
He's just ready now.
To live as himself.
As Theo.
Okay.
Susie no more.
Now, Theo! Do you think Sabrina knew about Theo? You know I'm not sure.
'Cause after all I'm just a girl - You miss her - And I'm so happy don't you? Yeah.
'Cause happy Try, try, oh, oh, oh Try, try Try to say I'm so happy to be 'Cause I don't [HARVEY] Roz? Roz? - You okay? - Yeah.
Yeah.
No Uh Ahem.
I'm fine.
I just got a chill.
One thing I've been wanting to mention.
I did kind of get help on the first challenge.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE] - Yeah, I mean, I kind of figured.
So you're not mad? That had "Weird Sisters" written all over it.
[LAUGHS] - I'm not mad.
- Okay.
Good, because I don't think I could handle any more drama right [NICK] Ah.
The boyfriend.
Ex-boyfriend.
Hey, isn't there some witchy club we can go to? Ambrose mentioned one.
- Dorian's Gray Room? - Yeah, that's the one.
Technically, it's a warlocks-only club.
But who cares? [BEETHOVEN'S FÜR ELISE PLAYS] What would you like to drink? I'm not sure.
[BOTH CHUCKLE] Dorian, we'll have two slow gin fizzes.
Nicky, dear, you know we don't typically serve her kind in the Gray Room.
Will you just get us the drinks, Gray? I'll make an exception because you're both so beautiful.
To losing one battle.
Sabrina? "The half-witch must not ascend.
" That's what the demon said.
Ascend to what, Nick? Not Top Boy.
That's too small potatoes.
[SCOFFS] Maybe High Priestess.
I, uh I boasted to Father Blackwood that I would one day be High Priestess of the Church of Night.
Maybe that's what they meant.
Well, the hierarchies of Hell might not like that, but me, on the other hand To Sabrina Spellman, future High Priestess of the Church of Night.
[SIGHS SOFTLY] Me invocare te in tenebris, dominus satanas.
Venire ad me.
[CREAKING] [THUMPING AND CREAKING] Dark Lord.
Forgive my impudence in summoning you, but I thought it was time we caught up on a few things.
Starting with Sabrina Spellman.
I've begun to suspect that she's much more important to your plans [GROWLING] than you'd led me to believe.
[MAN] Greg, move your head!