Chuck s03e01 Episode Script

Chuck Versus the Pink Slip

No one stops us.
No one ever has.
Chuck, did you just flash? - Oh, Chuck me.
- Kill him.
Chuck? Guys I know kung fu.
Agent Carmichael.
Call me Charles.
You have something that belongs to my boss.
The case.
I would like for you to give it to me.
Please.
You show up with no gun and "please" and what, I quiver in fear? We've got a lock on the case.
It's in the room with you.
Give me the case or else.
Or else what? Or else I do this? No.
I was thinking something more like this.
Cool, cool, cool.
Everybody be cool.
Everybody just chill out.
Very, very good.
On the ground, now.
Nice and easy.
Yuri, hand me that case.
After that, it's pierogi time.
- No.
Shoot him, Chuck.
So do it.
Shoot me.
Don't mess with me, Yuri.
Shoot him now.
Get him.
Chuck, what is happening? Your heart rate spiked.
You okay? I'm okay.
I got punched in the face, and it's throbbing a little bit.
Get out of there now.
- Where's my exit? - They're closing in on you.
Get to a roof.
The chopper's inbound.
General, I don't wanna sound demanding here but I could use that chopper now! The chopper's too far.
There's a line on the roof that runs to the next building.
Zip-line across.
We'll find you - What do you mean, zip-line? - It's in the Intersect.
Okay, I got this.
- General, I'm not flashing.
- Do it, Chuck.
Flash.
If you stress me, it's never gonna work.
- Chuck, flash! - Okay.
Flash.
One, two, three, flash.
I don't think my vertigo's helping here.
General, are you there? - General! You're dead.
That's all, Frank.
Terminate the simulation.
Copy that, ma'am.
Chuck you can come down now.
Why didn't you shoot Yuri? - Well, we were very close and while I realize it's just a simulation, safety first, you know.
To be honest, I'm not comfortable with the shooting-people thing.
This isn't working out.
Look, general, I realize that we've had our setbacks, I do.
But let's not dwell in the past here.
I'm convinced I can be a great spy.
I know it.
We spent millions to get you up and running as our new Intersect agent.
It's not working.
My dad can help.
He built the computer.
The problem is not with the computer.
It's with you.
The Intersect 2.
0 was designed to go into a real spy, like Bryce Larkin.
Someone in complete control of their feelings.
What are you saying? It's over.
Our Los Angeles field unit will keep an eye on you until a final decision can be made regarding your status.
Hold on a second here.
You're firing me? Do you have any idea what I gave up for this? - Goodbye.
- You don't know what I said no to! Frank.
Go home, tell your sister you're going on a trip to Europe.
Six weeks.
Where are we really going? A red site training facility.
- Training for what? - For you, moron.
The new Intersect.
They're gonna train you and turn you into a super spy.
Did Casey tell you they're moving me to a facility? I'm gonna be a spy.
- I know, I heard.
Come on.
- What? What's the matter? If you go, you're gonna be a spy for the rest of your life.
Every city is gonna be a new mission, a new identity.
You're not gonna be the same person.
- Yeah, that's a great thing.
- Chuck, listen.
We could We could what? We could run.
Together.
You and me.
We go now and we never look back.
- Are you serious? - I have some money saved up.
I'd get us some new identities, create an escape route.
Go to the training facility in Prague, meet me at the Nadrazi train station in three weeks' time at 7:00, and then I can figure the rest out later.
What are you saying? I'm saying I wanna be a real person again.
With you.
This is what you want, right? I mean, this is it, Chuck.
Will you run away with me? Yeah.
Chuck? Chuck, what happened? Chuck, honey, where's Sarah? I lost her.
The girl of my dreams.
It was all my fault.
Maybe not.
Why don't you pick up the phone and call her? You guys can work it out.
I'm sure she misses you too.
Your phone, my dear.
Pick up, Sarah.
Morning, Chuck.
- Morning, bro.
Mm-hm.
Chuck, you feeling any better? You got a game plan? Job hunting? Probably not.
No rush, amigo, but how long do you think you'll be staying? Chuck? Chuck.
Chuck, if you won't talk to me, then you have a visitor.
Chuck.
Chuck.
It's me, man.
Morgan? - Morgan? - Yeah.
- Is that you? - It is.
It is.
I'm back for a few days.
Hawaii's great.
And Benihana, forget about it.
Flying through the ranks.
That's it.
I'm gonna be master chef in no time.
I'm so proud of you.
We should get together soon.
- You and I sit down Ehh.
- I'd love that.
Hm.
Worse than I thought.
All right, Chuck, that is enough.
Sit up.
You are getting off this couch and you are going to do something today.
Out.
Out.
I tried, guys.
Just leave him with his cheese balls.
That's all he cares about.
Hello, sir.
How may I service you? Uh.
I'm looking for cheese puffs.
Aisle 3.
It's been a pleasure serving you.
Look at that wretch.
Security, we have a street person in Aisle 3.
Could be the one stealing toilet paper.
Gotcha.
Hand it over, punk.
Bartowski? Oh, Chuck Bartowski? Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Get a good look, everybody.
Everybody.
Everybody come hither.
Come hither.
Take a sniff.
That is the putrid stench of failure.
That's why you don't leave the Buy More.
Yeah.
You become feral.
Wretched.
You're just another loser.
My god, you're pathetic.
Sneaking back into the Buy More like some vagrant Serpico.
Goodness, you're a hot mess.
Emmett, please.
I'm sorry, do you have something to say? Right here.
No, I have nothing to say.
I'm okay.
I'm good.
Oh, that's what I thought.
Oh, it's a good thing.
Because you don't know how close you came to getting your ass kicked.
Oh, captain, my captain.
Tell us that you've returned to take control of Buy More.
Look, I'm sorry, fellas.
I'm sorry.
I don't think I could help even if I tried.
What do you care about our troubles? You got blondie.
- We're not She's getting hotter.
Agreed.
Her ass seems to be lifting, ever so slightly.
Charles - What? - Ass.
No, what? You've seen her? Just through a telescope when she goes in and out of that nasty yogurt shop.
She's still here.
Sarah? Hello? Heard you were a lemon, but this is pathetic.
Even for you.
- What the hell are you doing here? - I think that I left a light jacket in Castle.
I was just here to pick it up.
Clean those up.
Hurry it up.
I have to finish packing.
What's been going on in the biz? You talk to any of the old gang? Sarah, for instance? Nope.
- Really? - Yeah? - Mm-hm.
- Can I talk to her when you're done? Yeah.
Seven.
Mm-hm.
- Yeah.
- Just tell her If you could just ask her if she's gotten my messages because I've been calling at lot.
It's the lemon.
Duly noted.
See you tonight.
Did she say anything about me? Nope.
You going on a mission? You need back up? I can still flash.
Not what I heard.
Come on, Casey, please.
Beckman canned me, all right, man? I need to prove to her that I can still do this.
That I can still be a spy.
- Can you? - Yes, I can.
And it's gonna work, too.
If I help you guys, then maybe Beckman puts the old team back together.
And all my dreams come true.
- What? - I'm heading out.
Enjoy your spy-game thing, and stay in touch.
Hey.
What happened between you and Walker? Something I need to fix.
Somebody called about a computer emergency.
Soundboard's down.
- Okay.
- Cool.
Thanks.
Walker, we have a situation.
Hello, Chuck.
What are you doing here? Don't worry, this is not about us.
I'm purely here for backup.
- I need to prove to - Kiss me.
What? Right now? We should talk first.
I'm getting mixed signals.
Kiss me now.
Who the hell is that? Just my ex.
He's having some trouble letting go.
- Why did you knock him out? - It was a slap.
Lemon's got a glass jaw.
I was caught off guard on an empty stomach, okay? I didn't eat anything.
I can take a punch.
You mean a slap.
I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, guys.
I didn't mean to screw anything up.
I just came here to help.
Things went wrong in Prague, I don't know why, but I know I can do this.
I can be a spy.
Sarah, you know I can, please.
Get him out of here.
You heard the lady.
Get out of here.
Casey, wait, wait, wait.
I can help you.
It's a simple courier exchange.
Gilles, the guy with Walker, he's the mark.
- He's meeting with a Ring operative.
- The Ring? They killed Bryce.
The moment the Ring courier meets Gilles, we strike.
Get out before you spook Javier.
- Who? - The courier.
Javier Cruz.
Get him out of here.
Javier Cruz.
Javier Cruz.
Casey, Javier's not a courier! No, guys.
Guys, you have to listen.
Javier's not who you think.
He's an assassin.
Trust me! He's here to kill someone.
I dumped the lemon.
Let me back in! Let me back in! Okay, okay.
All right.
All right.
Oh, son of a That's gonna leave a mark.
Okay.
Okay.
Calm down, Chuck.
Don't be emotional.
Excuse me, por favor Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
My bad.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
- You're on.
- What? - Let's go.
- No, no, wait.
I have to use the boy's The chico's room.
Amigo's room.
Hey, where's Manny? Spastic colon.
I'm filling in for him.
He's gonna blow the whole op.
Just give him a second.
Bueno.
Bueno.
Bueno.
Where the hell did he learn that? - Isn’t that your ex? - Yeah, he's a bit of a show-off.
Just ignore him.
Assassin.
Assassin.
Where? Do you want my men to take care of your ex? No.
Come and dance with me.
What is he doing here? He's just trying to make you jealous.
And that's supposed to be your job.
Wait.
How did he know you were here? Who is he really? Tranq him.
Take him out now.
You have nothing to worry about.
Sarah! What is going on here? Don't move.
Don't you move! Chuck, what the hell are you doing? There's an assassin here.
There's an assassin here! He was gonna kill her.
Kill you.
Where? Where is he? - Half this club is undercover.
Been planning this for months.
Good thing we brought this many agents.
I'm gonna kill you.
Casey.
Sarah, I flashed.
I swear to you, there was an assassin.
It was Javier.
Now we'll never know.
You don't work anymore, Chuck.
It's over.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Chuck, you shaved.
That's great.
It was a rash decision.
I can't watch him wallow around all day.
It's pathetic.
What's up, bro? Still playing the loser cover? You're nailing it.
Not a cover.
It's my life.
I was fired.
For real.
I'm not a spy anymore.
And to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I ever really was.
Whoa, wait.
This is really you? Maybe we should be introduced.
I'm Chuck Bartowski, total loser.
Cheese ball addict.
Does the CIA let you just leave like that? Don't they send someone to, like, kill you or something? I think you watch too many movies.
- Ah! Don't kill me! - Ah! Holy, dude.
It's just It's me.
Ellie thought I should come by and Thought I might cheer you up.
Yeah, well, thanks, but I wish everyone would just leave me alone.
I'm fine.
No, you're not, dude.
Come on.
I've known you a long time, pal.
You're slightly unmotivated, a bit of an underachiever but a loser? That's not your turf.
What's going on? I blew it, buddy.
Opportunity of a lifetime.
I had a job offer that would have included a lot of travel and excitement.
And I've already been fired from it twice.
Amateur hour.
You haven't even scratched the surface.
You wanna see rock bottom? Okay.
Follow me, sir.
I got canned from Benihana a few weeks ago.
And Anna took off with the prep chef.
I lost my mojo.
Couldn't flip the shrimp.
Couldn't flip the shrimp.
Bed, TV.
Microwave for meals.
And, of course, machines for laundry.
Drink it in, Chuck.
- This is as low as a man can get.
Grimes.
So he's been the one stealing the TP.
I should have known he'd never make it in Asian business culture.
I'll have the authorities deal with him tomorrow.
I'm gonna miss this.
What? M134 Minigun.
Thirty-four hundred rounds a minute.
Never got to use her.
- Poor bastard.
- Who? Moron that's in love with you.
I promise you, he is not in love with me.
Come on.
I don't know what happened between you two.
I've seen men have their fingernails pulled off treated more humanely - than you did that kid.
- Well, I was just doing my job.
Job's over.
Put him out of his misery.
He deserves that much.
Some day Somebody's gonna.
Turn around And make you wanna say goodbye.
Until then baby are you going to let them.
Wait a second.
Don't you know? Hello.
Things can change Things'll go your way.
If you hold on.
Uh.
Can I help you? Hold on for one more day.
Where can I find this man? Oh, don't ask me.
He's no longer an employee at this store.
If you wanna find him, walk out front and follow the smell.
You can leave now.
Okay.
Okay.
We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
I got mace.
Yeah.
So you'd better get your Brokeback boots off my property or I'm gonna send you crying back to your mommy's womb.
Yeah.
Pussy.
Say goodbye forever, pal.
Had some good years here.
Yeah, to be honest, I think I'd rather forget it all ever happened.
Right.
Why don't I give you guys a few seconds? - I'll see you back at your place.
- Yeah.
- Thanks, buddy.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hey, Sarah.
- Hey.
I wanted to say a proper goodbye.
It's been a pleasure working with you, Agent Walker.
You too, Agent Bartowski.
I appreciate that, but we both know that the agent thing didn't work out.
- If I could go back in time - Uh, Chuck Please let me get this off my chest.
I can live knowing that I told you everything.
- You owe me that.
Yeah, Chuck And I owed you that.
Oh, Javier.
You know, I think we actually got off on the wrong foot.
Truth be told, I'm a fan of mariachi music.
And my hitting you was completely unintentional.
- I wanna know who you are.
- Nobody.
I'm nobody.
In fact, I think that I have documentation somewhere that proves that I'm nobody.
Wow, you are extremely ripped, sir.
You hit me very well outside the club.
Try that again.
Okay, let's do this.
Let's do this.
Come on! Flash.
Okay.
If you could just give me one second, I can You're gonna tell me everything, Mr.
Bartowski.
All the secrets you know.
Who you are.
Who you work for.
And then you're gonna tell me about the girl.
You should go to Prague.
Then meet me at Nadrazi station in three weeks' time at 7:00 and then I can figure the rest out later.
Here is your ticket and your new passport.
Your name is Hector Calderon.
- Wait - Talk on the train.
Right now, we have to act fast.
Trust me, Chuck.
It's all gonna work out fine.
Uh.
That's not the kiss that I was expecting.
Sarah, there's an entire facility here dedicated and designed to turning me into Intersect 2.
0.
Think about it.
Me, a real spy.
Living a life of adventure and doing things that really matter.
It's not that simple.
You don't know who you're working for.
That's complicated.
Nothing is real.
But this.
This is simple.
This is a real life.
We have to go, Chuck.
This is it.
Are you coming? I can't.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Any sign of Walker? Last ping had her at the Buy More.
You gotta be kidding me.
I want a satellite trace on every car in the parking lot in the last six hours.
- Do it.
Get a chopper ready.
- Sir, on whose authority? Mine.
The colonel.
Come on, Chuck.
You can do this.
Just one flash of kung fu and we are out of here.
I'm dead.
I'm so completely dead.
What am I gonna do? Chuck? Chuck, can you hear me? - Sarah? - Break out of your cell and come get me.
I couldn't pick this stupid lock.
There's no way that we could reverse those roles? You've been trained to do this.
The Intersect can do this.
You don't get it.
You and Casey were right.
Okay? I'm a lemon.
I don't work.
My emotions just mess everything up.
No.
Chuck, listen.
I was mad and wrong.
Since you went to Prague, I have worked with the best spies, and you know what? They're on their way here to save us? None of them can do what you can do.
You're a spy.
Now flash on Javier and get us out of here.
- Something's happening here, Sarah.
- Chuck don't freak out.
When I'm done with you, I'm gonna deal with her.
The girl.
Me first.
Chuck, what happened? Something awesome.
- Let's go.
- Hey, you should have seen it.
- I knocked him out with one punch.
- Let's talk and run.
Where are we? Mexico.
I'm almost out.
We need to get off this roof.
- What are you doing? - Zip-line.
It'll work.
I promise.
Okay.
I trust you.
Hold on tight! - I can't believe that worked.
- I'm not so sure it did.
- There's something I need to tell you.
- Not now, Chuck.
I think this might be my last chance.
Down.
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Whoo-hoo! Move, move, move! Let's go, boys! Yeah! Move, move, move.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Whoo-hoo! Javier Cruz was a vital operative for The Ring's Mexico syndicate.
The device you picked up is a custom smartphone for Ring operatives.
This is the first one we have ever captured.
Hey, good job, Team Bartowski.
Colonel Casey and I will be departing for Lisbon tonight.
There's been chatter another Ring cell is there.
That won't be necessary.
- Why not? - I can't believe I'm about to say this.
Say it.
I mean Ahem.
Please say it.
I'm putting Operation Bartowski back into the field.
- Yes.
- Casey, Sarah you will work alongside Agent Bartowski to bring down The Ring.
- That is all.
- Yeah! This is great.
This is great.
Come on, guys.
The three of us.
The old gang, back together again.
I cannot wait.
What's my new cover gonna be? I need a job.
Can it be something exciting? Race car driver? It's gotta be something cool.
Oh, wow.
I can't believe you got me this job back so quickly.
Yeah, well, with no manager, the paperwork was easy to push through.
So Emmett took a Large Mart job in Anchorage? - That's the rumor.
- Oh, good for him.
Oh, also, thanks for doing me that extra favor.
- What? - I speak of the bearded one.
We're back.
- Up high.
- Ugh.
There he goes.
There he goes.
He's busy.
Work, work, work.
I got it.
Someone from corporate called me and begged me to take my job back.
- Did they? - I'm serious.
I guess they know talent.
They do indeed, my friend.
Sarah, I need you to keep Chuck's emotions in check so the Intersect can work.
He listens to you, but he's also an unstable element.
- Do you think he's dangerous? - Very.
But he's worth the risk.
For the last two years, we protected Chuck from the world.
But now we have to protect the world from Chuck.
Do we need all this stuff? - Oh, hey, guys.
- Hey, Devon.
Hey, El.
What's happening? Well, we're moving.
Yeah, the apartment across the courtyard opened up, so we're taking it.
This isn't about you.
This is about us.
We needed a place for two.
And you can get a roommate, you know? You have plenty of friends.
I'm so happy right now.
Other friends, Chuck.
Other friends.
Come on.
Listen.
Listen to me.
Two words: Bachelor pad.
Yes.
I got dibs on Ellie's room.
Chuck? We should talk.
Absolutely.
- I'll go first.
I'll go first.
- Sure.
Ahem.
Sarah, they wanted me to be a spy.
Okay? They told me that I could make a difference.
I've been kicking around, not knowing what I wanted to do with my life like a loser.
And then one day, really important people told me that they thought I could change the world.
Me, Chuck Bartowski.
- It was never about you - Stop.
I acted impulsively.
And it's a mistake I don't usually make.
And it won't happen again.
- But, Sarah - You're a spy now, Chuck.
You have to keep your feelings to yourself.
Numbnuts.
Ready? Ready for what? Your training.
Come on.
You have much to learn, grasshopper.
Flashed yet? Take a breath.
- Let's do this.
- Oh, yeah.