Comedy Class by Eric and Ramzy (2024) s01e08 Episode Script

Roast with Jerôme Niel

This has been the
hardest deliberation yet.
The first to come on stage
is Brahms!
The second talented artist and
hilarious comedian we've chosen
is Camille!
There are only three spots left.
And there are only six of you.
See the problem?
One out of two.
Marina, would you like to
announce someone?
I'd like to announce Yassir!
There are two spots left.
It's incredibly horrible, Éric.
The next person we will ask
to come on stage
is Lou-Anne!
So, the final spot
to be in the semi-final
And win 50,000 euros.
And win 50,000 euros. That's a lot
The suspense is horrible. It's Sofiane.
Give it up for the seven candidates!
But wait!
-Hold on.
-Hold on, actually
-We want to keep one more.
-That's right.
-Come on, this is horrible.
-Tell him.
-Tom Boudet!
Nadim, Léandre, come here.
We didn't feel your performances
today as much.
I can see how it hurts
and it's breaking my heart.
I'm really gutted.
You've been amazing up to now.
So I hope it gives you strength
and good fortune.
Make some noise for Léandre and Nadim!
You've got your thing going.
It's just not for today.
It doesn't make you any less talented.
Your skill is insane.
You've never stopped showing
how good you are.
It's so on point. And when it's good,
it's just amazing.
Thank you, Éric.
Léandre and Nadim!
A round of applause
for those chosen to move on
to the next challenge!
Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise
for Éric and Ramzy. Give it up!
Let's go!
-Hello, Ramzy.
Hello, Éric.
It feels like No, stay standing!
Hey, respect us, we were on Drucker.
Today, the theme is "Roast."
Do you know what a roast is?
Eight comedians will come on stage
and mock us.
Éric, me, and our guest.
This is the semi-final,
so four will be eliminated.
-Let's get set up over there.
-No, stay standing.
Ladies and gentlemen,
our eight candidates!
Roasting is the art of making
slightly mean jokes about someone.
Today, we're the ones getting roasted.
Nobody has ever dared to roast us.
-Only behind our backs.
Only behind our backs.
But I like giving women
roasts as well.
-That's true.
-Usually to women
-in my family, I give them roasts.
-That's nice of you.
I give them flowers as I insult them.
-"You've put on weight!"
-"Just look at your face."
That's a roast.
These are the eight
best comedians in France.
That's it! Stop!
They're not stars yet,
-you can sit down.
-There you go.
It will be tough for us, Ramzy,
to choose the four best ones
who will have been the meanest to us.
You on the left, go home,
you on the right, stay.
I'm just kidding, don't panic!
We have a guest to help us out.
And not just any guest!
A guy with an eye for comedy,
a guy who knows something about jokes.
Someone who knows the stage,
who sells out venues all over France.
Ladies and gentlemen, stand up
and give a warm welcome to
Jérôme Niel!
Jérôme Niel!
Jérôme, are you happy?
You said you watch Comedy Class
every season.
-And that this has been a good season.
Yes, its 16th season.
I'm very happy to be here.
-The bar is insanely high.
-In 16 years, it's never gone down.
Jérôme was kind enough to agree
to come without knowing the theme.
-I said yes without looking.
And with the roast
I was
He's so tall, I feel like a teddy bear.
Such a talented guy
I have to touch him, I can't help it.
-He's from where I'm from.
-I didn't think you'd be so happy.
-You're from Benin, too! That's wild.
-Yes, I am.
-All right.
-You're going to have to leave.
And get ready, take a shower,
and clean up.
See you in a moment!
We have to get rid of half of them.
-What? No.
Yes, one out of two has to go.
This is hard.
There's eight of them, right?
-We need to eliminate four.
Did you start with 20
or were some eliminated?
-More than 20.
-We started with 60 or 80.
Oh, shit!
You started a comedian genocide.
You've already eliminated 40 of them.
It was easy at first.
There were just mangy sheep
slowing us down
as we started ascending the mountain
in the snow.
-They're going to die.
-Children, old people.
-Natural selection.
No effort required.
Then, once only the good ones are left
-That's when it gets hard.
-And all eight of them are good.
Only the strongest are left.
Apparently, we're dead.
-It's our death.
-They're setting the scene.
We're going to suffer, Ramzy.
-There's even a photo!
-All three of us! We're all dead!
-Oh, shit!
-Will you do it?
-And now
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's give a warm welcome for
Camille Lorente!
I've never roasted anyone.
Writing a roast is hard
because the targets
are sitting right there.
And they're the ones who will
decide if you stay or go.
The pressure is on.
AGE 34
Dear friends
We're gathered here today, in 2054,
to pay a final tribute
to Éric, Ramzy, and Jérôme.
I'm sorry, can we cut the echo?
Thank you. It's awful, the echo.
Like Ramzy put out a film by himself.
Now to talk about Éric.
In his youth, he was a fan
of McEnroe and Wilander.
He spent many years
trying to become a tennis pro.
Then, he discovered
that he has no talent.
That's true.
Farewell, Rico the Racket.
Only in 1994
did he finally meet someone
with even less talent.
Their show's poster read,
"Éric k Ramzy." Good one.
The blended their faces together
to make only one.
A perfectly sane decision,
according to psychiatrists.
The duo was founded in laughter,
but also in their experience with racism.
You can tell immediately
that Ramzy's an Arab
and Éric's a Buddhist.
She's not wrong.
I'm Catholic, but just barely.
He's left us
without finishing editing on his film,
The Day All the Arabs Left,
which he teased us
with right up to the end.
Just a few weeks ago, he said,
"Don't worry, it's going to awesome."
But no.
Finally, a word about Jérôme.
He used to call himself "Shut Up Jérôme."
Unfortunately, he didn't follow
his own advice.
We'll remember his great generosity,
as he often said, during interviews,
he loved, and I quote, "eating pussy."
Personally, I don't have
wonderful memories of it.
Though the three of them
hadn't been funny at all
for a very long time,
their friendship would last
up to that tragic day
in 2054.
Under the Provençal sun,
where they'd opened their
famous swingers' comedy club,
the "Chuckle-Fuck."
That morning, Éric and Ramzy
invited Jérôme
on a quick jet-ski ride on the sea.
Jérôme said no
and stayed at the villa to "relax."
The pair went out to sea without him
and never came back.
The AI driving the jet-ski
hated their movies so much
that it flung them directly onto the rocks
where they perished.
A few minutes later, Jérôme,
who had just finished relaxing,
choked on a peanut.
Together until the end,
they passed away on the same day
and with the same lack of dignity.
Bye, you artists.
Rest in peace.
And rest assured that wherever you are,
you will be forgotten.
I'm absolutely blown away
by how good that writing was
in only 48 hours.
It was like an amazing
France Inter broadcast.
What you see in Ramzy and Jérôme
was very accurate.
It's crazy to be so on-the-nose.
I loved when you said, "It's echoing
like me doing films by myself."
Yeah, that was good.
This was even better than before.
-Yes. You're getting better and better.
-Thank you.
-Well done, and see you later.
-Thank you.
-Bravo, Camille.
-Great job!
That went well. I'm happy with it.
I showed them something new.
I think they thought it was funny.
This show is going to destroy us.
This episode especially.
They'll be saying,
"Go away, Éric and Ramzy."
He's speaking American
for the global audience.
That's not a bad idea! That's right!
-I'm Guten Tag.
-Guten Tag!
Now it's the moment
for the welcome of Mr
Please make a lot of noise
for Mr. Tom Boudet!
There's a lot of pressure.
I got the 8th spot, which wasn't planned.
I need to do this right.
I can't screw this up.
AGE 21
Everyone doing good? Are you excited?
Great. At the start of these shows,
I noticed you guys made a funny mistake.
They didn't call me "Tom Boudet"
but Tom "Bodet."
Play back the tapes, listen.
-Tom Bodet!
-Let's go, Tom!
For Mr. Tom Bodet!
Tom Boudet!
Tom Boudet!
You really did make a fool of me.
So let's cut the shit now.
You've awoken the beast within me.
I'm no longer Tom Boudet.
Now, I'm Dark Boudet.
Hey, bitches!
Show me some respect, Jérôme,
I saw The Mansion in theaters.
Yes, that was me,
the one guy who did see it.
Dark Boudet!
"Dark Boudet"!
For those who don't know, last round,
Éric and Ramzy nearly eliminated me.
Yeah. But they took me back.
Clearly, they couldn't do without me.
Sort of like your fat moms.
Fuck you!
I won't act tough. Look at me,
I'm as thin as a piece of paper.
I won't do a duet with my grandpa.
Dark Boudet!
Plus, Ramzy, you have
the voice of a grandpa.
-It's a bit gravely.
Ramzy talks like this. "Hi, how are you?"
Éric, I'll roast you too.
What are you going to do, lift me up?
Last time you did that,
it was in an elevator.
"Ding-ding, what floor? With the cat?"
You bastard!
I was scared of breaking the mic.
See you in the next round.
Tom Boudet!
Do you prefer Tom Boudet or Dark Boudet?
I've only seen Dark Boudet,
whom I like a lot.
You're a wonderfully mean guy.
I'm glad we saw your dark soul.
Keep this meanness and work on it.
Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Bodet!
Well done.
The roast isn't over.
You're so dumb!
-You scratched me.
-Do it again.
Sorry, he's bleeding.
No worries.
But it was great you invited
someone so aggressive.
Too bad! I was off to such a good start.
-Ready for the next one?
-This is tough, isn't it?
-We need to breathe.
-Can we take notes?
-We score them randomly.
-Yes, look.
Of course you can take notes.
-Ladies and gentlemen!
-Give a big round of applause for
Last time I was shaky.
That's where I need improvement.
They'll be getting lots
of deep-cutting jokes out there
so you have to make them remember yours.
AGE 30
Good evening, I'm so happy
to be here with you.
To roast you.
Éric, Ramzy, one of France's
greatest comedy duos.
They're amazing.
Give them a round of applause.
Compared to Omar and Fred,
you're both Fred.
Hold on
No, the difference is that
your friendship is solid.
It will stay that way.
It's a lifelong friendship.
Because one thing's for sure,
you won't be winning a César.
But Jérôme Niel might.
Welcome, it's a pleasure to see you.
-Thank you.
Congratulations on your success,
your sold-out shows,
you're doing films now
1.5 million followers online
I don't know if you're here to judge us
or give advice to Éric and Ramzy.
Jérôme is the mentors' mentor.
It's amazing.
Éric and Ramzy, I find it crazy
that you've had the same career
as Jamel Debbouze,
even though you have four hands.
That's wild.
Still, Éric and Ramzy have had
an amazing career trajectory.
It went from dinner theater,
to theater, television,
then burger mascots.
Is this a new starting point?
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Damn, that stung, but it was funny.
That was funny, Yassir.
But I get the impression
that he doesn't bring it
in the few minutes he takes
to set the scene.
-That's true.
-We'll see.
I like this game.
We get ripped a new one and vice versa.
These guys are softies. They're too kind.
-We should stop the theatrics.
-They want us to stop?
But it's a natural reaction from them.
They have to lay into us.
They have to kill their father.
-I'm dead.
In terms of deep cuts, that last guy
he really did
-He fucked our mothers.
-There you go.
Okay, the next one to throw
some dirt onto the coffin.
Ladies and gentlemen, Brahms!
The roast can't just be a roast.
We need to bring something extra
because we're all so good.
People used to make fun of my stutter.
So I had to work on being witty.
And I think I can come up
with some good stuff.
Good evening!
Make some noise!
Today is the roast.
AGE 35
So, let's go through your filmography.
You were in The Daltons.
You always say you're ashamed of it.
As you should be.
But you have to admit, the film did
sell two million tickets in five weeks.
My question is, what's it like
stealing from two million people?
Jean Dujardin starred in Lucky Luke,
which wasn't great, either.
But he made up for it
by winning an Oscar for best actor
for The Artist,
a black-and-white silent film.
So for your text film,
have you considered just shutting up?
We're having an amazing adventure here.
We had Florence Foresti as a guest,
Mister V, Marina Foïs
Tonight we've got Jérôme Niel.
The further we go,
the worse the guests are.
Who's next, Moundir?
Honestly, before making fun of others,
I think you should make fun of yourself.
So let me tell you a story.
In middle school, I had a crush on a girl.
We talked every day.
One day, I took her home
and thought I'd shoot my shot.
She dodged me like in The Matrix.
I asked myself questions,
"I thought you liked me. Am I ugly?"
She said, "I can't say you're ugly,
you're a creation of Allah."
She was an atheist, I don't get it.
Make some noise for Lali!
Thank you!
I don't know much about it,
but, to me, that was a roast.
-Spitting out jokes
-The music.
I really liked the jingle
over and over. I loved that.
They're already panicked
about having 48 hours to write
and he added staging on top of it.
So, honestly, thank you.
-Well done, Brahms!
-Thank you.
-Where were we?
-Halfway done.
-There are four left.
Now, we've got a lady. A very cruel lady.
We're scared of her.
Now, let's welcome Lou-Anne Protin!
I'll try not to fall into
my usual dark humor.
I need to shine in a new way.
This is the only time where
I feel like I'm in real trouble.
I'm just a little nervous.
Yes, Mom. Yes, no.
Yeah, I know. I have to go.
Yes, no, yes, I need to go.
I'm going to judge the two losers.
AGE 24
From TV, the tall skinny guy
and the short bald guy.
Yeah, they're still going. Well, trying.
Yes, they have help.
They can't do anything by themselves.
-Right. Love you.
-This is going to sting.
Hello, Attorney Protin at the bench,
I'm a one-night lawyer and great comedian.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
we're here to try Éric,
Ramzy and Jérôme Niel.
A reminder of events.
Over several weeks, a competition
with many candidates.
Some are eliminated, some stay.
A thought for our colleagues,
gone too soon.
Just kidding.
You've been hounding
the candidates for weeks,
one of whom I'm particularly moved by,
through her talent and humbleness,
the one the others have nicknamed
"The Future of Stand-Up,"
You've attacked the wrong person.
And I can prove it.
You thought I was hostile and mean.
But that's nothing.
A fine of 50,000 euros is requested
to be paid to the plaintiff,
that's me again.
The best defense is a good offense.
Let's move onto the exhibits and archives.
Oh, no.
Exhibit A.
This is what Éric sees every day.
This is what Ramzy sees.
Is that the average rating
for The Daltons on AlloCiné.
or is it Éric's height?
Both, probably.
Good choice, it's both,
though we doubt Éric's height.
And if we reverse the numbers,
that's Jérôme's.
That's just Jérôme Niel.
A movie critic, and I quote,
"An unmissable, hilarious French comedy,
with high-quality actors,
a timeless film with memorable
characters, situations, and lines."
Congratulations, a great review.
You're not it,
but it's still a good review.
Jérôme Niel. I didn't know who he was
so I looked him up.
I discovered that you used to make videos.
I watched three or four of them
then I discovered that
ignorance is truly bliss.
But the offenses don't stop there.
In 2013,
you released a sort of musical-type song,
plainly entitled, "Barbecue Party."
I'll quote the lyrics.
"To cook sausages, there's no better time.
To eat my sausage, bring me your sister."
I'm thrilled you'll be judging my writing.
Videos weren't your strong suit,
neither was music.
So you tried your hand at movies,
as an actor or extra, whatever.
I did watch the last film.
Just kidding, I don't have your free time.
I have one last message for you,
one that's a bit less scathing.
Wait, this is the wrong one.
Here it is.
Thank you all.
Thank you very much.
Another well-staged set.
Another well-constructed sketch.
It's wonderful what you're doing.
Very impressive.
As you said, with our career,
we wouldn't be able to do that.
That's what hurting people is all about.
Thank you very much.
-Thank you, Lou-Anne!
-Thank you.
-Let's hear it for Lou-Anne Protin!
-Lou-Anne Protin!
I'm happy I've come this far, regardless.
If this is my last round,
it was a good one.
I really enjoyed it. It was so cool.
I'm happy.
-Okay, so
-You'll notice that, despite everything,
out of everyone we've seen,
only one wasn't reading a script. Tom.
That's true.
Is this Memory Class or Comedy Class?
Our bond has been broken,
we're attacking everything the other says.
You're talking nonsense, don't bother.
Okay, what can I say? He's shut the door.
Let's open the door with Eliott Doyle.
It's almost the finale.
I can now prove everyone wrong
who thought I wasn't funny
when I was a kid.
Get out your spits because we're roasting!
AGE 30
Here we go.
Am I interrupting the three of you?
The film Problemos
Could it have sold even fewer tickets?
You there,
the "Hey bitches!" guy. Hey
You good?
You're the bitch.
"H, H, H, H, H"
Horseshit, more like it.
You'll see.
Éric, I watched you in a TV series
Éric, I watched you on TV
It was a commercial for electricity meters
Ramzy, I watched you in a
Jérôme, I saw you and you
Well, I saw you
In the bathroom, two minutes ago
Please change the toilet paper.
For me to be able to preach to you
I will need a choir
You are legends
At playing darts
You're the greatest
According to my mom
Come on, solo.
And now, just for fun,
We're going to imitate you
I'm Éric!
I'm Ramzy!
"And I'm Jérôme Niel!
No, I don't have a loyalty card.
Does anyone have a portable charger?"
What was I trying to say?
We're here tonight
to judge our skills, but who cares?
We're here for one reason. The audience,
the tech crew, the comedians,
each more talented than the last,
for only one real reason.
You are legends
At playing darts
You're the greatest of the great
According to my mom
This is the fifth time you've seen me
And just now, you told me,
Ramzy, "Nice to meet you."
Oh, you bastard
We've seen so many sets
and every time, you bring lightness,
with your songs, piano
We love seeing that.
We're big fans.
-That's the strange thing.
-The Teddy Riner of humor.
Maybe it wasn't enough this time.
We'll see.
Sorry, when you do this
-Is that a gun with two triggers?
-Right, the Double Trigger.
-You do this.
No, you've got two guns.
No, that's a submachine gun.
He's shooting into his hand.
He's shooting himself.
-That's the real gesture.
-Okay, fine.
Okay, two left.
It's going to be hard to eliminate anyone.
Four people!
We've just seen a Mercedes,
but a Ferrari is coming.
A straight-up drone, I'd say.
-He flies.
-That's a drone.
-What do you like about him?
-You'll see. Do you know him?
If he wasn't an Arab, he'd be perfect.
Ladies and gentlemen, Adel Fugazi!
This is the semi-final. I hate roasts.
But I'm going to force myself.
It'll be sink or swim.
I'm okay to go with something that
comes from me.
It could be a monumental flop.
It could go historically south.
AGE 28
Thank, hello.
Thanks, hello.
Hello, Éric. Hello, Ramzy. Sir
I know I'm supposed to make you mad,
but I don't like that.
I really like you a lot.
I've liked everything you've done.
Even the flops! I've loved them.
Don't we all love Éric and Ramzy?
-It's true.
-No, excuse me. No.
No, I think they suck.
-Excuse me?
-Yeah, sorry.
And you are?
Jean-Jacques, impersonator since 2004.
-Yeah, average.
-That's why I couldn't make it my career.
Maybe I should ask some
real people in real life.
Let me go find some real people.
I have to go, I'm leaving.
-I want real people.
-Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Setting the stage.
Madam, hello.
-What do you think of Éric and Ramzy?
I like them a lot.
I work in a hospital,
and when old people
have strokes, that's what we put on TV.
It's the only thing they understand.
Amazing, a former contestant!
-Disappointed that you had to leave?
-No, I'm fine.
I love Éric and Ramzy.
They're really funny.
Any film they did that you liked?
The only thing I liked was
that video with Squeezie.
That's the only good thing recently.
But the rest is crap.
Take Ayrton back, you guys sucked.
Wow, this is so disappointing!
He's so funny.
Damn it!
There you have it.
It was lacking jokes.
You were the one I was dreading the most.
But we missed seeing you on stage.
This sucks, damn it. I wanted to laugh.
I wanted to see Adel. I love him.
-And we had Bruno instead.
-That was Bruno.
Thank you, Éric and Ramzy.
Thank you, Adel Fugazi!
That bombed hard. I knew it!
I knew it! I told you so.
I swear it was funny.
The height of the mic
means the next guy is tall.
Out of the eight left,
the tallest one is
Sofiane. Jérôme,
take it away.
Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise
for Sofiane Soch!
Getting to the finale means
getting my mom a house.
I've always been average at everything.
But this proves that
there's something there.
It proves that Sofiane
has earned his spot.
That I could be a future star.
AGE 21
Salaam, bitches.
Make some noise for Éric Judor!
Make some noise for Melha Bedia's brother!
Make some noise for
I don't know who you are.
I swear.
But that's not Jérôme Commandeur!
They put in the stage hand.
Oh, wow! This is insane!
-You okay?
-Fine, and you?
Apparently, you're really famous.
I don't know who you are.
In their phone, you're saved as,
"If Kev Adams isn't available."
Jérôme, you have an amazing name.
People named Jérôme are born 30 years old.
Who's ever seen a Jérôme on a swing set?
That was a good one.
-Ramzy, how are you doing?
He's the only hobo with money.
He doesn't need food stamps.
He has it all!
In the subway, he goes in and says,
"What can I get you?"
-Éric, you okay?
-I'm going good.
You look like a thumb.
He looks like a thumb, he's so short.
I don't give a "thumbs-up" online,
I call it an "Éric-up."
You good? Do you smoke?
Barely speaks French.
That's funny.
Guys, you know they
have stylists backstage.
That means you dress
like that willingly, right?
Crazy, that's not even designer clothing.
Their outfits are public domain.
No brand!
The brand of Ramzy's shoes is "Shoe."
I love them. I'm a big fan.
Jérôme Niel, apparently, you're short too.
I saw him earlier. He's short, so are you.
When it rains, he lets you know.
You're doing okay?
Anyone have a joke for Jérôme?
You're always so dumb.
I'm disappointed it's him.
It's not their fault.
At least he showed up. Thumbs-up.
Friends, I'm really happy to be here.
But I'm starving.
Bro, can you go get some food?
Make some noise for him!
Who gives a shit about a roast?
Deep down, I like them.
I can't finish this, like their movies.
Oh, damn!
He gave it to me good.
Sofiane! Come back, Sofiane!
-He spits out his jokes and runs away.
-So cool.
He really slapped us in the face.
Yeah, it was really aggressive.
He's added class to his comedy.
If you thinks thugs can be classy.
We're going to put him out in the street.
I'm waiting for them. What will they do?
I'm kidding.
-Yo, I love the 'hood.
-That's good.
Hold on, I'm from Montigny. Gang gang.
We're legit, you know it.
There are some clear winners.
For me
-So good, incredible.
-We have to eliminate four.
-Yes, we do.
I'm so worked up about it.
I hate this. I have a knot in my stomach.
-It's tough.
-I have my preferences,
-buy I'll
-Tell us who.
White people.
-Yeah, you're really white.
-I am very white.
I've always been white.
We see three who are very, very good.
Federer, Djoko, and Nadal, right here.
-The others are very good.
It's hard to choose!
It's like the lottery.
One guy wins 300 million.
Why not have 100 guys win 30 million?
That's true.
I'm calling the Lottery Board!
-Good idea.
-Wait, Éric! That's
This is the semi-final.
They're all winners already.
Yes, like with Jacques Martin.
That's a dad joke.
We're going to announce it
without looking them in the eye.
We can look them in the eye,
but we're going to announce
the four winners.
Should I start?
-They're all winners.
Yes, fine.
All right, so
The first person we've chosen,
who will participate in the finale
I don't like doing this!
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