Costa!! (2024) s01e02 Episode Script

1
-So it's official.
-So you're really burned out.
Years of built-up stress,
high blood pressure.
One wrong fart and I could pop a vein.
-Then you should get some rest.
-I know.
-What does that mean?
-That I'll be taking a break.
And someone needs to take over for me.
-So someone else needs to manage shit.
-You can't do that.
-He can't drop dead either.
-Let's not exaggerate.
-There are corpses with more color.
-Be nice. Look at him.
-So, who?
-I have an idea.
-I think I know who that someone is.
-Really, Kay? Who?
He's closer than you think.
-What are you doing?
-Are you okay or what?
-He means himself.
-Huh? You mean yourself?
Look around you. No one is better than me.
I was actually thinking about you, Esmee.
Would you like that?
-No. You two, come with me.
-Where are you going?
To train them, so the club won't collapse.
-Duuk, Mila
-I can barely hold a glass.
-I don't know how long I'll stay.
-And I have things to do. Take care.
We're going to paint the town
all kinds of colors tonight.
-We?
-I've been here for weeks
and there has been exactly zero action.
Nothing.
There are convents with more sex appeal.
I can be your wingwoman,
but tonight, not now.
-Oh my God, we're going on a man hunt.
-You are.
-Don't you want dick?
-I do. If a woman wears one.
You're into That's fun.
What do we do about Thomas?
-Vitamins.
-There are two dull knives here.
How many do you need?
All of them.
All of them?
Hey, Daddy. About that manager stuff
-I appreciate it, but
-I've been working on it for a long time.
I've done thorough research
on the entrepreneurial stuff.
-I even bought a book.
-Yes, but did you read that book?
-It's the thought that counts.
-Listen to me.
I really don't mean this
in a bad way, but
Kay, I don't think you can do this.
Sorry, Dad.
After ten years I deserve a promotion.
-I know that, but
-Who else should do it?
Hey.
I put Duuk and Mila's contracts
in the binders.
I updated the accounting.
I'm taking time off. Yes?
Zoë, would you perhaps consider
being the new manager?
No. If I wanted responsibility,
I would have become a teen mom.
Teen mom, crazy. Her, no, no, no.
Me, yes, yes, yes.
The problem is that
Leaders don't think in problems,
but in solutions.
-And in one-liners, it sounds like.
-Dad, I really am a suitable leader.
-Tommy, I got it.
-You want to join your brother?
-How did you know? Can you read minds?
-No, but I can read you.
-Again. What am I thinking about now?
-About sex, Mike.
This is scary, man.
Boys, I appreciate your ambition
and I want to honor it,
-but you have to prove you can do it.
-Piece of cake, man.
-Piece of cake?
-Yeah.
Come along.
-Why do you suddenly want to be a manager?
-You inspired me, man.
Winners have a plan,
losers have an excuse.
Loser.
Hey!
How do you see me?
Hello?
I'm the phone.
Yes, but do you see me
as a strong, independent woman
or more as a spiritual entity?
Because it says here that we're not
a body with a spiritual side,
but a spiritual entity
with a physical side.
-Do you think this will help Thomas?
-I think such an insight can help anyone.
-No, I mean a silent retreat.
-Oh, that. Yes.
Yes, I think it would do men a lot of good
if they kept their mouths shut more often.
Alright.
This here. This is the actual heart
of the entire enterprise.
-I thought the employees were the heart.
-I thought it was the dance floor.
No, this is. Administration.
Do you know what this is?
-A folder.
-Very good. What's in that folder?
Paper.
-That's what I wanted to say.
-Very good. What's on that paper?
-Numbers.
-Letters.
General ledger.
-Do you know what that is?
-Yes, man.
Yes.
-Tell me.
-I had a general ledger when I was a baby.
Our ledger was as big as the Bible.
My dad was a part-time accountant
on odd Mondays.
My accountant was a part-time dad
on odd Mondays.
Do you want this?
Yes.
But, Daddy, this isn't really my thing.
I have other qualities
and I want to show those to you.
There's something magical in this.
This is my baby.
Give me a day to work on it
and I'll show you I can do it.
Very good. Tomorrow you can pitch
your magical ideas to me.
-I'm beat. But, Kay
-Yes?
-Don't disappoint me.
-No, man.
-What about me?
-You too, Mikey. You can pitch too.
-Good luck.
-Thanks.
How are things over here?
-Shit.
-I see.
-How are you?
-Boys!
-Sorry, excusez-moi.
-What's up?
Tomorrow these two will show you
why they think they should be managers.
-With a pitch.
-Is this a joke?
No, you didn't want to, so
And we decide tomorrow or we're closing.
-Is this the Dead Russian Dick?
-Crazy Horse.
-Can we taste these?
-You have to.
I don't drink.
You don't drink?
Then what are you doing here?
-Working.
-Without booze? What do you drink?
-Water.
-My condolences.
-Nice. Lime.
-It's lemon.
-That's the same thing, right?
-No.
-I'm not very good at recognizing flavors.
-Is there anything you can do?
That's not very nice.
We need decent staff.
We don't even have a manager.
-You're quite grumpy, aren't you?
-Pay attention, then we can talk.
Oh, of course,
because a talk has to be earned here?
-Can't you just be nice?
-I don't like being lectured by a newbie.
-I don't like getting treated like this.
-Well, piss off then.
Fine by me.
At this rate there'll be no one left.
Are you really leaving?
I get you're sad Thomas is leaving,
but it's not fair to take it out on us.
-I'm not.
-No?
Do you always look like
you're going to a funeral?
A funeral?
-Never mind.
-So you're one of those.
-One of what?
-A "one setback and I'm gone" guy.
I'm not always great with people.
-Not always?
-Never.
Is there a species of animal
you do get along with?
-Horses.
-Horses?
Yeah, no, of course. Horses are
very majestic, beautiful animals.
Yes.
Well
-Are you going to say anything?
-Just stay.
Why?
Thomas needs you.
Okay.
And you're not super shitty
behind the bar.
I'm not super shitty behind the bar.
What an incredibly sweet compliment.
You're welcome.
-I've got goosebumps.
-Stop it.
-I have to call my mother.
-Just stay, idiot.
I have one condition.
Every time you swear, you buy me a drink.
Your liver can't handle that.
-Holy shit, it's in.
-Yes, 9-3 to me.
-Someone has to step up as manager.
-Not me.
Esmee is really good, isn't she?
I've got a long way to go.
Duuk is doing great too.
Isn't he manager material?
-Is there alcohol in this?
-Yes.
-I don't drink.
-Are you serious? Bad experience?
-All those hangovers. No, thank you.
-Alright. And you're attracted to women?
-Yes.
-Nice. Have you seen anyone you like?
-No, I'm not really looking.
-I want that one.
-I'll be right back.
-Okay.
Okay, that was fast.
-He's going out with us.
-What?
And coming home with us.
-Okay, then you won't need me.
-I do, I promised him a threesome.
-Zoë, what the fuck?
-Can I have your cocktail?
Yo, Essie. Can I ask you something?
You know, that pitch tomorrow?
What's your question?
I can't think of anything.
I'm blocked or something.
Why do you want to be the manager?
Hey, great one. Shit.
Alright, guys. Still working? Good job.
-Where is everyone?
-Out.
-Out? Zoë and the others?
-Yes.
With dancing and drinking in the club?
I have to go too.
No, you don't. You leave her alone.
Listen, the boys here are super dirty.
I'm like that too.
-I might want to come along.
-No, you have to work.
-You?
-No.
-Shitty idea.
-Sounds like you're paying for the drinks.
Good idea, man. I need to clear my head.
I'm calling Kay.
-Mikey.
-Yo, bro. We're going out, man.
-Essie, Duuk, Daddy.
-Mike, no.
-Will you join us?
-Don't bother me, I have to focus.
Focus.
That guy's acting weird, man.
He's really changed lately.
-Are you in a relationship?
-Yes, man.
No, not with naked shit. Just love.
Mike, I can't come.
I have to take it easy.
-But you just slept for three hours.
-You guys go. You go.
I'm not going without you.
It's your last night.
Okay.
Alright then. A little alcohol is good
for the heart and blood vessels.
-Are you sure?
-Yes. It'll be fine.
It'll be fine.
Not for me.
-To the new manager, guys.
-Cheers!
I have a bit of a block or something.
You still owe me a beer.
Who pays decides.
Jesus.
If I can make you laugh,
will you come home with me?
If I punch you, will you leave?
Sexy, a woman with balls.
Wow, a man without brains. Cliché.
What?
Nothing.
Hey. Gross. Hello, little amigo.
-Hello, everything okay?
-Everything okay, yes.
But you better keep that dirty tongue
in that tapas mouth of yours.
Is he your father?
Your boyfriend?
What are you doing?
Fucking creepy. You're fucking creepy.
-Yes, walk away.
-I hate you. You're such a jerk.
Wait a second.
-You've struck gold.
-Sorry.
You're an asshole.
Huh? I just feel
a tiny bit responsible for you.
I'm going to text Bibi you're a stalker.
I mean it.
Okay. We'll go back inside
and I'll order you a drink.
A drink? I'm not here for the drinks,
I'm here for the guys.
-I'm here for dick. Hard dick.
-That shit is burned into my brain now.
-Do you understand?
-What?
You're not my dad. I'm an adult.
What are you even doing here?
-You want to be a manager, right?
-Right.
Nice, man.
That new one knows what she's doing.
-Aren't they those Bonzas?
-What's a Bonza?
The Bonza. Our big competitor.
-Come on, let loose.
-Fuck off.
That's another drink.
Or a dance?
Come on.
Let it go. Es, Es, Es!
This doesn't feel right.
Come.
Hey, Esmee.
What is it?
Look, there are multiple ways
of doing what I'm about to do.
What are you about to do?
Asking you out on a date.
Is this a joke?
-I'm going to the Estrella tomorrow.
-Okay.
Okay.
-They have a really great band there.
-So?
So if you want to show off your dance
moves again, you know where to find me.
-What do you want?
-Go on a date with you.
Get to know each other, have a chat.
-I don't like talking.
-Then I'll talk.
Can I point something out to you,
in my terrible attempt to ask you out?
-Which we're not doing.
-Which we're still considering.
During my attempt you haven't hit me yet
or shoved me against a wall.
You're right, we don't know each other,
but I know you well enough to know
that when someone says something you hate,
you hit them or shove them against a wall.
The answer is no.
-Okay, I hear your hesitation.
-I don't like dating.
Let's not call it a date then.
We'll call it a
a meeting.
-A meeting?
-A meeting.
-Where you'll do most of the talking.
-Absolutely. Tomorrow, Estrella.
I didn't say yes.
Hey, I'm touched, man. I feel lov
Come on, time for your pitch.
Why?
The Costa is ready for a new phase.
We're going bigger.
It took me a lot of time,
but I proudly present to you
Don't look yet. The Costa Beach Club Bar.
Okay.
-Did this really take you an hour?
-An hour?
All night. Vampire mode, everything.
-I think I'm going to puke.
-Hey, he did his best.
-I'm serious.
-I know it has a bit of a vintage look.
Did this wash up
or did you actually put it here?
No, this is only the beginning.
This will be the pillar of the Costa.
Hey, wait, no.
Can I go?
No, no. Okay, guys, seriously,
what do we think about this?
-It has a nice atmosphere.
-The idea is kind of fun, but
I don't quite see what this has to do
with a management position.
-Esmee?
-It's hopeless.
Zoë?
-Well, that's clear.
-Fuck.
Shit, now the atmosphere is ruined.
Thanks a lot.
-Hey, Kay, where are you going?
-Sorry, man.
-Mikey, your pitch?
-Right. Seriously, what should I pitch?
-Mikey, we've talked about this.
-What?
A pitch means you come up with something
and explain it to us.
-Yes, we're doing that together now.
-Can't you just make something up?
Just one thing!
One thing that can help us, Mike.
I thought it was a group thing.
Zoë is very good with numbers.
Dukie knows a lot of big words.
Essie rocks the bar.
Mila is the social girl.
And I am the soul of the club.
Mike, what you're saying
actually makes sense.
-It does?
-Yes, I mean
All those qualities
are very strong together.
Can't we just all do this
together as a group?
-You didn't know if you were staying.
-One person has to call the shots.
Having multiple captains on one ship
will get you into trouble.
-That's a bit old-fashioned.
-He's super old.
And what do you do
when a big decision needs to be made?
Rely on the one with the most experience.
Yo, Es.
Giving your generation a bit more
responsibility might not be a bad thing.
And a bit less influence
from an old white guy is nice too.
Sure, less influence.
Because that's the problem. My influence.
Don't worry, Dad. We got this.
I'm trusting you, alright?
Are you coming?
THE BOSS
-Very sweet of you.
-What are you actually going to do?
-I'm going on a silent retreat.
-That works very well for men.
-In a monastery and everything.
-With Tibetan monks.
Where's Kay?
I'll call him. Good one.
This doesn't feel right.
-Don't forget your girlfriend.
-Definitely not.
This is Kay's voicemail. K-K-K-Kay.
Where are you, man? Thomas is leaving.
Hey. Don't you work at the Costa?
Bye. Safe travels.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Bye, Grandpa.
-Bye, tiger.
-All the best.
-I'm going to miss you very much.
-Me too.
-Well
Take good care of the club.
It'll be fine, sweetie.
And all my love to Kay.
-Where was he?
-I don't know, he didn't answer.
Can I ask you something?
Do you have the number of that girl
Ten years.
Ten fucking years of my life wasted.
I did everything for them. Family.
And what do I get in return?
Would you like a drink?
Come on.
Mike.
This is Kay's voicemail. K-K-K-Kay.
Where are you, man?
Where are you?
Yes, perfect.
No, man.