Costa!! (2024) s01e04 Episode Script

Zon, zee, sex en volle maan

Costa. Full Moon Party.
Not that again. What is this shit?
Hi, Zoë. Hello there.
Happy birthday, darling.
Hey, Thomas.
Weren't you on a silent retreat?
Yes, that's why I have to whisper a bit.
How is it going over there?
Still the same. One big void.
That's not what I mean.
I hope birthdays at the Costa
are one big fucking sexual revolution,
because this sucks.
Traditionally they are celebrated
in a grand and compelling way.
-Oh my God.
-With Frida,
we once flew to Bali as a surprise.
-To Bali? Really?
-Oh man, that was That was amazing.
Do you know anything about my birthday?
Be honest.
-No, I really don't know anything.
-You have no idea.
Those fucking monks saw me.
Darling, I have to go.
I love surprise parties. Talk to you soon.
Is this our third date
or did our date never end?
Is this a date? I thought
this was a business meeting.
Speaking of business, have you
organized everything for tonight?
We only need the full moon.
Will you stop by?
-In the lion's den?
-Tricky, right?
-I actually have to work tonight.
-I understand.
But maybe I can get Kay to cover for me.
-You think that's great?
-Yes. You're brave enough to do that?
-What time
-Do you want
-How do you
-What time
You go first.
-What time do we need to pick up Shy?
-In 20 minutes.
Be careful, that one's
I thought it was very special.
-You're cooking something up.
-No, why?
-Sorry. I didn't see anything.
-There was nothing to see.
Come on, let's go.
What is that?
-Graphic novels.
I know.
Where are those beautiful legs going?
Nice of you to ask. Away from you, fetus.
You have a call.
Hugo Naberman.
I told you I didn't want this anymore.
Please stop calling.
-Are you okay?
-He just needs to leave me alone.
-Who is he?
This doesn't feel right.
Jesus Christ.
Is he dead?
I'll give his agent a call.
Shy! Hey. Oh no.
Never mind.
Well, at least it works.
Look at him. Dirty man.
You screwed me badly.
-Shit, man. I'm going to jail, buddy.
-Calm down. Crazy party tonight.
Crazy party?
A crazy party with my chorizo.
You said you took care of the permit.
-I'm sorry, man.
-That song
-Do you get me?
No, man!
Hey, bro, I'm sorry, man.
I saw the way you looked at me,
how your life depended on it.
I'm Fix-It Fatih. I can't let you down.
-Press two for permits.
-You're applying for the permit now?
-Of course.
-That won't work. This is Spain.
-What else can I do?
-Not feed sleeping dogs, right?
-Don't be cruel to animals.
Listen, Mike.
I fucked it up, I'll solve it. No stress.
-Are you serious?
-Yeah, man. I have a plan, everything.
We'll just make sure the party
won't get out of hand.
But what if they do check on us?
I'll make a fake permit
so no one will find out.
-That's crazy "Catch Me If You Can" shit.
-Get me, man?
Listen. We have to keep this quiet.
-Type in "real permits".
-Real permits.
-Double T.
-Good one.
Get it? Yes?
-What are you doing?
-Preparations for the party, you know?
-Yeah, man. Buying a lot of booze.
-Wasn't Esmee in charge of the booze?
I know.
You guys are arranging
a surprise for the party, right?
-Give him some coke.
-What? No, of course not.
-It'll help if he used too much keta.
-You are completely insane.
If we don't get him to the party,
we're in trouble.
-You have to DJ, buddy.
-Mom? Mom.
-What do we do with this guy?
-We have to at least get him to the beach.
Okay, I'm going to lie down.
Come on. Get up.
Oh, it's awake.
-Do you have my rider?
-Your rider?
-It's a list of things he needs.
-I know what it is.
-I want vodka, baklava, shisha
-Nope. Not happening.
Es, come on.
Okay, listen. Red M&Ms, without the skin.
I don't want fucking skin
Where's that shit?
Are you going to tell me
who your creepy stalker is?
-Tiger cubs! I want tiger cubs.
Okay, we got your stuff. Get up.
No. No! Where's my goat?
I can't DJ without my goat.
It's my guru goat!
He makes me feel good. I need him, man.
Go find him. No, I'm staying here.
The goat will find me.
You know what? Fine.
-You just stay here.
-Go, man! I want my guru goat.
There. Over there.
-I'll go, alright?
Come on. Look.
Stupid animal. Come here.
I got it.
Fucking goat.
-Where is Shy?
-Maybe they're keeping him as a surprise.
Hey, honey.
-You look amazing.
-Thanks. You too.
What are you doing here?
Don't you have to work in your own club?
Hey, Zoë, I missed you too.
Alright, mic check, one, two.
We're in for a big party tonight.
Calm down.
It's a full moon. Crazy coincidence. Okay.
Hey, bro, that's the last time.
Don't do that again.
Yo, listen. Okay, we have a responsibility
to get everyone who comes out here
home safe.
-Home safe, man.
-Yeah? Get it?
So also give your friends
some water now and then.
Water, man.
Try pushing the non-alcoholic drinks
as well.
You know?
We're keeping it quiet, still and calm.
We're ending things
a little early tonight.
-And we're keeping the decibels low.
-Low, low, low.
Don't do that. I'm all dirty now.
Don't listen to him, people,
tonight will go down in history.
Let's hear it for the Costa!
Okay, now check the sand
underneath your feet.
These are holy grains.
Once this sand was hard as stone.
They partied on it so hard
that it feels soft like a
French kiss under your feet.
This sand has seen the biggest parties
on the Costa del Sol.
This sand is sexy as fuck.
Grab it. Feel it, smell it, taste it,
let it slide through your fingers.
Feels special, doesn't it?
Just like tonight.
Because tonight we celebrate
La Festa de la Luna.
Nice, Zoë!
-That's cool. Did you get DJ Shy?
-Right, shit. I'll give them a call.
-Hey, where are you guys?
-We lost him.
-Come on, stupid goat.
-Excuse me?
Oh my God!
DJ Shy, I want to have your baby!
I mean it! I want to have your baby!
DJ Shy, I want to have your baby!
-They lost Shy?
-She called me a stupid goat and hung up.
-Okay, that's weird.
-Goddammit. Now what?
-We'll be fine without Shy.
-What did you say?
-Nice and quiet, right?
-Don't joke around now.
-Does this face look funny to you?
This is my serious face.
-Guys, maybe I can be of help to you.
-You are our competition. This chick
The vibe is gone.
Let's send everyone home.
No, this is the most important day
of the year for me.
-We have to keep going.
-How, without a main act?
Can't you DJ?
I've had enough.
-You, come with me.
-No, don't.
Get up. We have your sangria,
your Skittles, your stupid goat.
You're coming, now. Come on.
Look, Shy. Here you go.
-Move it.
-Come on, Guru, run!
I'll drag you by your balls if I have to.
I'm scared, man.
I'm fucking nervous. I can't take it.
-What? It's your job, Shy.
-Shy. Hence that stupid name.
Yes, hence the stupid name.
The pressure's too high.
-I don't know where my flash drive is.
-We have it.
No, I'm fucking scared. I'm scared.
I can't even think straight.
-How do you normally do this?
Everything's spinning.
I'm done.
-If she's DJing, everyone will go home.
-Really? Everyone will go home?
-Of course. They're expecting Shy.
If she's DJing, they'll all leave.
-Mila's DJing.
Yes, you're DJing.
No one knows her.
At our place a new talent always
attracts a crowd.
Okay, Bonza.
Big responsibility for your first gig.
Turn on those crazy turntables.
Get started.
Hey, open those gates!
You're going to "DJ"
so you can do my big moment.
-Big moment?
-My birthday. My birthday surprise.
-Is it your birthday?
You forgot my birthday.
Fuck you all.
Good evening.
Okay, Shy. We're here.
-Did you guys forget too?
What the fuck.
What's wrong with her?
-I'm too scared.
No, no, no, Shy, you can do it.
You really can. Here, listen.
Come on.
Honey, you can do it.
I'll take your goat.
No, no, no.
The goat is coming on stage.
Let me.
Dude, you have to be on the lookout
over there. Stop them.
That was shitty, to forget her birthday.
I don't know if God's okay with that.
Bro, we got shit on our minds.
God is with us, I swear.
-We're becoming bros, man.
-Brothers for life, you know?
No one touches our chorizo.
-Yes. Take it easy.
-Yes, do your thing.
Hey. Lower your arms.
-Jesus, I can't believe we did it.
-Impossible, that guy.
I know you're not going to tell me
who called you,
and I also know that if I say it again,
you're probably going
to hit me really hard,
but anyway, if you feel the need
to talk about it, I'm here.
I can't believe this guy is so fucking
popular. Really, I don't get it.
Hugo is my father.
-And I haven't spoken to him in ten years.
-Why not?
If you really want to know,
I haven't spoken to him
because he abandoned me.
Every now and then he resurfaces.
Apparently he's in the area right now.
Don't you want to know
what he has to say?
I don't need him in my life.
Sorry. Oh, hey, lovebirds.
That music is really loud right now.
-You're acting weird.
-I just feel for the neighbors.
Mike. The idea of a permit
is that we're allowed to make noise.
-No. Look. We can't do this.
-Let it go, Mike. It's going great.
-Mike, it's okay.
He really doesn't get it, does he?
Hey, hey. Okay, be quiet.
Happy birthday.
Two violins and drum and a flute
Because it's Zoë's birthday
And the flags are hanging out
Sorry we forgot your birthday.
We were busy organizing the party.
Things don't always go as planned.
But I did steal a super pompous
wine bottle, especially for you.
Our little secret.
-That's really sweet.
-That's why I'm Fix-It Fatih.
You know what we'll do?
I don't know if you like
Good evening, folks.
Good evening.
-Can I have the permit for the party?
I have the license.
Thank you.
-That guy is completely nuts, isn't he?
-Completely nuts.
Hey, there was a problem.
We are out of tequila.
-How is that possible?
-I have something new. Here.
I don't want it.
Come on. Who only drinks
one drink their entire life?
James Bond.
Okay, fair enough. Here.
People who try new things are happier.
-Fucking gross. What is this?
I call it "The Angry Bartender".
-What's happening?
-What is it?
The corners of your mouth
suddenly quirked up.
I have to record this.
This is the eighth wonder of the world.
-Stop it.
-She smiles.
Do you want a turn?
-What's your name?
Evacuate the beach.
Sorry, sorry. I was kidding.
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