Cow and Chicken (1997) s01e04 Episode Script

Part-Time Job

Want to race home, Chicken?
Can I have a piggyback ride?
No, you can't have
no piggyback ride.
I'll tell Mom and Dad you
got an "F" in spelling.
Ooh! Give me that!
Piggyback ride!
Then I'll give it to
you when we get home.
All right. Hop on.
Hey, Chicken,
look at the new toys.
Hey, they got the
new Soldier of Death
with ice skates.
Only 4 bucks!
And the new
Crabs the Warthog doll.
I'm flat busted.
I got 27 cents.
Where we going to
get some dough?
"Milk squeezed
from the finest
cows on Earth."
That's it!
I'll get a part-time
job at the milk farm.
I'll make money to buy
crabs the warthog.
You think they'll
want your milk?
It says "the finest
cows on Earth,"
not Mars!
So, my dear, you want to
work on my milk farm, hmm?
Are you the Dr. Chunks,
professor of milk?
The same.
Oh, it would be an honor
to squirt for you.
Oh, well, first we need
a sample of your work.
Why, this is superb!
I haven't tasted lactation of
this quality since I was a baby.
You are hired!
Oh! Ha ha!
Voom! Voom!
I can't believe Cow
got Crabs the Warthog.
Tell Mom and Dad I'm going to be
working at the milk farm, too!
Very exquisite.
You're hired.
What's the matter with you, man?
Can't you read?
Try that chicken farm
down the road!
Chicken farm? Ooh, now,
there's a job I can do.
It's ♪
Easy-pickin', finger-lickin' ♪
chicken on a stick ♪
With the Rear Admiral, ♪
you rarely get sick, oh ho! ♪
Nobody flips a boid ♪
Like Rear Admiral Floyd ♪
It's finger-lickin' ♪
Nobody flips a boid ♪
Like Rear Admiral Floyd ♪
Chicken ♪
Yeah, I am going to like
working here.
Well, we'd love to have you.
Ahoy, Admiral!
How's it hanging, eh?
Now, why don't you get acquainted
with your fellow dinners--
uh, I mean diners.
Hey, maybe this is
the lunch line.
Oh, hey!
Hello, my little chickies!
Hey, Mr. Heinie, when do
I get paid for this gig?
Oh ha ha! You won't need any money
where you're going, little fella.
Um, what do you mean?
She's returned--
the cow of my dreams!
Oh! Dr. Chunks, I bet you
say that to all the cows.
By the way, did my brother Chicken
come here looking for work?
You mean the chicken?
Yes, my brother-- Chicken.
Yes. I sent him to the
chicken farm down the road.
I'm sure he'll make an
excellent temporary employee.
Chicken farm?
Fried, already?
Oh! What have you done?
Chicken's in trouble!
Oh, what will I do?
It's time for superc--
No! No! I'm too young
to end up on a stick!
Ho ho ho!
I'm a bad boy-- a very bad boy.
Al rescate!
Yi yi yi yi yi!
How now, brown cow?
Looks like I'm going to
have to add a new product.
Ha ha ha ha!
Que te cojo!
I'm sorry about you losing
all your feathers, Chicken,
but the doctor says they'll
grow back by Christmas.
Oh, that's just great.
Meantime, I got to wear
this stupid warthog suit.
Well, either that,
or wear Mom's dress.
I'll wear the warthog suit!
Mom says you got to
play with me.
Want to play mock kitty bath?
Mom! May I please
kill Cow?
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon better
than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon,
big star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns king
in his mind ♪
He's just as good
as the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
All right!
Fire it up.
I.R. Baboon astronaut,
working as a astronaut ♪
High above
the clouds so high ♪
Like a astronaut
in the sky ♪
Oh, pllll!
That weasel think he's so big.
First, he on Mars,
and first on Jupiter.
First on uranus?
Why not sometimes I.R. Baboon
is first somewhere?
No, gentlemen.
I cannot condone it.
Sending a man to the sun
would be unconscionable.
It is simply too hot up there.
I'm sorry, Weasel, but it's
already in the budget.
Well, you'll get
no help from me.
Good day, gentlemen.
I.R. Want to be
first somewheres!
Should be baboon statue
I looking at,
'cause I better astronaut.
Someday, I.R. Get chance
to beat idiot weasel!
I.R. Baboon want to be
first on somewheres!
Hey, Baboon!
You want to be the first
astronaut on the sun?
The weasel refused to go
because he was chicken.
I.R. First on sun ♪
I.R. Gonna be statue ♪
Wait minute.
Would that not be dangerous
mission, go to sun?
I.R. Have
pretty sensitive skin.
Get heat rash.
Don't worry. We'll conduct
the mission at night.
Ooh! I your man!
I.R. Baboon,
first astronaut on sun.
I.R. First on sun ♪
I.R. Better ♪
than weasel ♪
I.R. Going on sun ♪
Shoot! I knew I shouldn't have left those
NASA boys without resolving matters.
Now they've gone and picked
that ignorant baboon.
Don't be a fool!
If you go on this mission,
the sun will cook you
to a crisp.
You don't trick me with
smooth talk, Weasel.
This a night mission.
No danger.
Ha ha ha!
You just jealous 'cause I.R.
First on sun.
I.R. Baboon big shot
for change.
Me first for change.
Me famous for change!
Me! Me! Me!
Do what you want.
I wash my hands
of the whole matter.
Thanks loads, Weasel!
I.R. Baboon has been
a gnat in my face
for my entire NASA career.
It was I.R. Baboon who, while
in astronaut training,
covered my visor
with shaving cream.
Ha ha ha ha!
It was I.R. Baboon
who stuffed banana peels
in my rocket's exhaust pipe.
Now, by merely remaining silent,
I could be rid of him forever.
No! No! It is a sin
to think thusly.
Must I? I.M. Weasel.
Rescue my most misguided
of adversaries?
Yes! Because
I.M. Weasel!
Ooh! Ha ha ha!
Oh! Ho ho! Ha ha!
Keep hands off merchandise.
I only hope I am not too late
to stop this madness.
Ha ha ha ha!
6, 5,
4, 3,
One life lost diminishes my own.
It is up to me
to bring him back.
I.M. Weasel!
Good afternoon,
Mr. Weasel.
And to you, good fellow.
Weasel not want
I.R. On sun.
Him make not I stop me.
Turn back! You're on
a suicide mission!
When you hit the sun,
you'll die.
You just jealous of I.
I.R. Baboon
first on sun.
You're deluding yourself.
Grab my hand.
I'll save you.
What trying to you do? Kill I?
You insane.
You blow me big chance
for to been hero.
Indignity, this!
I.R. So close.
Next time, I show Weasel!
I.R. make theme park
on sun.
Come to Baboon World.
Ride solar flare
with I.R. Baboon.
Ha ha ha!
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