Cow and Chicken (1997) s01e11 Episode Script

Happy Meat

Oh, man. I don't know if I can
stand this garbage no more.
You don't like the
cafeteria food, Chicken?
Food? You call this food?
Ketchup flakes? Yecch!
Ketchup gelatin?
It's all ketchup!
I am sick of ketchup.
I want meat!
Don't you got nothing
good to eat?
What's the matter, Chicken?
You don't like my cooking?
Well, that's too bad!
Um, what do you recommend?
How about my ketchupy fish balls
with bits of dehydrated ketchup?
What do you got that's good?
My specialty.
Stuffed ketchup surprise!
What's it stuffed with?
Why, it's stuffed with
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh, yoo-hoo! You
forgot something.
That's it! I can't
take it no more!
So, you don't like my
ketchup food, Chicken?
Then starve!
No food ever again!
For you.
And if any one of you even thinks
about giving him any food,
then you'll starve, too!
Eh, who cares? I ain't
really that hungry, anyhows.
Hello, women. Mind
if I sit with yas?
You can sit next to
me, big brother.
You're going to starve, Chicken.
Starve. Starve. Ha!
Oh, man. I got to eat something.
You're going to starve. Starve!
Hey, Chicken, snap
out of it, son.
T'ain't no one in our family
that starves that easily.
Who are youse?
Why, we're your
great-grandma and grandpa.
Now listen here, Chicken.
Back in our day, when
we didn't like victuals
they was dishing up
at the cafeteria,
me and grandma here would open
up our own little food cart.
Give those pinheads a
little competition. Ha ha!
Yep. Grandma and
Grandpa's Happy Meat.
Ain't that right, grandma?
Oh, man! Great idea, grandpa.
Bye now, Chicken. Say
good-bye, grandma.
I love this gal.
Bye-bye, grandma and grandpa.
Who are you talking
to, big brother?
Grandma and grandpa. Jeez!
What, are you blind
as well as large?
I am going to run her ketchup
kitchen out of business.
Wanna try my
ketchupy fish balls?
No food for you, either!
You're both gonna starve.
Oh! But that's not fair, Mrs.
Sue me.
All right. Tell me
about this idea.
Ok. Here's the poop.
First, we've got to get
Come and get it!
Ketchup's hot.
Come to Cow and
Chicken's Happy Meat,
where nothing is ketchup.
Ketchup on a stick, anyone?
That is right, sir.
Our meat is happy.
Get ready to suck meat
loaf through a straw.
Try a knuckle sandwich.
Ha ha ha!
Uh, just kidding.
Hot dog balls! Get
your hot dog balls.
Oh, children?
I've got something that
kinda looks like meat.
Honey roasted faux
ham a la ketchup.
Ooh. That stinks good.
Well, how about ketchup
on the half shell, hmm?
How about ketchup on my hand?
You kids know what time it is?
- Tell us, Chicken!
- Tell us, Chicken!
It's time for bobbin'
for meatballs!
Don't ask where those came from.
Hey, the red light special!
Wheel out the catapult, Cow,
'cause we are serving
pork butts and taters!
Well, Chicken,
looks like happy
meat was a success,
except it cost us
more than we made.
All, well, it was worth it.
We showed Mrs. Heinie
bow what real food is.
Oh, dang! We forgot to eat.
What do we got left?
Oh, man.
I'd eat anything!
Oh, I'm a failure.
Look at me! I can't even run
a lousy school cafeteria.
Oh. We made her cry.
Eh, she deserves it.
Oh, come on.
Are you still open, Mrs.
You want to eat here?
Dare I ask what you got?
For you two? Oh ho ho!
Let's see.
The original is always best.
Oh, all right, all right.
How much?
How about 14 bucks?
Hey! That's not-- ooh!
All right. 14 bucks is fine.
Mmm. Ooh, yum.
Oh, they like me!
They really like me.
Well, grandma, looks like
another case solved.
Honey, you're the greatest.
Mom says you got
to play with me.
Want to play mock kitty bath?
Mom! May I please kill Cow?
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel.
You're kidding.
Make me laugh.
This is place.
Place is everything I.R. want--
a little bit country with
big-city convenience.
Come for to getting it.
Eeaah. Pig farming
good business.
I.R. Happy to be contentment.
Smell of money.
Why, I oughta--
I.R. branding you now.
Branding, branding ♪
Branding ♪
Mayor speaking.
Stinky! The whole
world is stinky!
Fellow suffering citizens,
it has come to my attention
that our town is overwhelmed
with pig stinkiness.
As your mayor, I will personally
evict this offensive pig farmer
and make him take his stinky
other white meat with him.
To help us get through
this time of need,
I will provide each
and every citizen
with a pine-scented
air freshener.
Give me I.M. Weasel on the double.
Quick, I mean!
I.M. Weasel.
Mayday! Mayday! We have--
It's pungent. You got--
Come quick. Emer-- stinkiness!
I understand. Hesitation
is not an option, mayor.
Mayor? Mayor?
We need you, monsieur!
One last sniff!
This is insane.
I am going to have a very stern talk with the
person responsible for this overwhelming stench.
Holy mackerel!
That's some strong stench.
This requires more
drastic measures.
No trespass against us!
These organic pigs.
No chemicals!
Oh. Sorry to have
disturbed you, sir.
I.R. do what I.R. like.
I.M. Weasel! I.M. Weasel!
Oh, it not same.
Smell not good as pig.
We find place where
people appreciate us.
Maybe Los Angeles.
Previous EpisodeNext Episode