Cow and Chicken (1997) s01e13 Episode Script

Time Machine

Hello! It's me!
I just decided that things are
going a bit too smoothly,
and I'm going to mess it up!
And it'll only cost a quarter!
That's it?
Stupid change machine!
I put two dimes and a nickel,
and it gives me one quarter!
What a gyp!
Can we play this one?
No! That's for babies!
Ooh! Blisters the Mouse dolls!
Can we get one of these?
"Time Rover--
"Anywhere in history
for 3 minutes.
Only 25 cents"!
Oh, great! You
probably broke it now!
Seat belts.
Aah! Aah!
Whew! Well, that was close.
We was nearly eaten alive!
I don't see nothing.
Hello! Oh!
So glad you could come!
Wh-where are we?
Oh! This is where it all began--
the primordial soup!
All of history crawled
out of this bubbling cauldron.
Ooh, don't get too
close, Chicken.
Watch your step!
Anything that falls in there
will change all of
history as we know it.
S-so, uh, like,
if I was to chuck my chewing gum
into this, uh,
primordial soup
It would change history?
Oh! That's right,
and there's no telling
what might happen
if I were to drop this
in the primordial soup.
Aah! Aah!
Oh, just think of the havoc
this little sucker
will play on history.
Watch out, sis!
Oh, a quarter!
Even better!
Oh, it's going to
go back without us!
Good-bye, bon voyage,
and don't forget to
change your underwear!
Ha ha ha!
Safety be--
Whew! Huh?
Oh, everyone is a quarter-head!
Oh, we've got to go back in time
to just before I
dropped that quarter
into the primordial soup
and stop myself! Moo!
Ooh, just think of the havoc
this little sucker
will play on history.
Ah! Ha ha ha!
You bully!
I just can't wait to check out
udder-head people in the future.
Help! Help! Moo! Moo!
I must save myself,
but what can I do?
I know!
Ha ha ha!
¡Ay, ay, ay!
¡Supercow al rescate!
Oh! Oh, thank you, Supercow!
Oh! What happened?
¡Hola, malo mas que malo!
¡Supercow numero dos!
¡Al rescate!
Hey, go, Supercows!
¡Toma, toma y toma otra vez!
I think I'm seeing
Way cool, Supercows!
¡Viva Supercow!
¡La maquina de tiempo!
¡Corre! ¡corre!
¡Corre! ¡corre!
Hey, thanks again
for saving my butt
back in the past
with that naked guy
and that whole
primordial soup thing.
Oh, no sweat.
I wonder what that
soup tasted like.
Ooh, it looked disgusting to me.
Me, too.
Hey, Mom! I ate all the cereal!
There's none left for me.
It wasn't me. It was me!
I ate all the cereal!
Did not!
Did too!
Did too!
Did too!
Look, Dad! Our
children is twins!
Ha ha! Well, that
just beats all!
Want to play on the trampoline?
No! Anyways, we don't
have no trampoline
Yes, huh!
Wow! This is great, Cow!
Where'd you get it?
Come back here
and fight like a man, Cow!
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel!
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
Arrr, matey!
Joe Morocco slams the ball,
and gibby garbobby
returns the serve,
like the expert ping-pong
champion that he is!
You're watching Globe of Sports,
pay-per-view ping-pong
coming to you direct
from Wolverine Lake,
sponsored by Liquid Bread.
When you're half-dead
and you need to be fed,
Liquid Bread!
The score is tied in this
pay-per-view exclusive.
The proceeds for
this charity event
will benefit the Rogue
Women's Naval Auxiliary.
The money will help buy
these old lady sailors
new eye patches and peg legs.
A very good cause, indeed.
Joe Morocco is
getting aggressive.
He's hammering Garbobby.
Morocco attacks. Morocco scores!
Bad move you make!
Open eye, idiot!
I better than they!
All I.R. need is chance!
Beat both player
with single hands.
Gibby garbobby serves!
Oh, the humanity of it all!
This is terrible! Gibby
Garbobby is down!
This is the worst
ping-pong accident
I've ever seen in all my days
of ping-pong sportscasting.
Aarrgh! What am I to do?
Without another player,
our fundraiser goes
straight into the drink!
We need a replacement.
Help! Replacement!
I.R. must be replacement!
Me! Me! Me!
I.R.-- ping-pong star!
Excuse me, ma'am, but I'm
a ping-pong professional.
Well, get on over
here, Mr. Weasel.
Thanks for that hip-replacement
surgery you gave me.
You're a peach!
Why she take Weasel
for ping-pong?
Pirate lady should take I.R.
I win game, not Weasel.
Ahh! This is the life.
Me? I won a free trip to Fiji?
I've never won anything
in my whole life!
Oh, wow! This is exciting!
You know, my mother won
a goldfish in a bag
at the state fair once.
Here's to a good
game, my friend.
Play ball!
I.R. best at ping-pong.
I.R. score! ♪
I.R. score! ♪
Great serve, Morocco.
Point goes to Weasel!
Weasel scores again!
And again! And again!
And again!
You cheat, I cheat.
Hee hee! Two paddle.
Point goes to Weasel!
Ha ha ha!
Could I get your
autograph, Mr. Weasel?
Why, certainly.
Phooey! Time-out!
Must win,
but how beat weasel?
"Ynam a fo eno" --
one of a many egg-sucker--"
That it!
I.R. make weasel suck egg!
Then I.R. win!
Arrr! Stop being a jerk and
serve the ball, Morocco!
Why not Weasel suck egg?!
You supposed to be egg-sucker!
My parents used to suck eggs.
I guess it's just human nature
to rebel against the folks.
Don't you agree?
I couldn't say. All I know is,
that man is disqualified!
I? Disqualified?
We only allow regulation
ping-pong balls
made from grade-a ping-pongs.
Take him below, girls,
and bring a couple of
ping-pong paddles with you!
Have mercy for I.R.!
Arrr, you're a mighty one, Weasel.
Thank you.
You can be my cabin boy.
Hee hee hee!
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