Cow and Chicken (1997) s01e14 Episode Script

Orthodontic Police

Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad was proud. ♪
He didn't care how. ♪
Cow. ♪
Chicken. ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
Ha ha ha.
Oh, there's a rock!
Oh, there's another!
I hate this stupid game.
That is because you
are not counting rocks.
You got to count rocks
to play "count the rocks."
There's another one!
Hi, Mr. Policeman!
What's that noise, Dad?
Uh-oh. It looks like a
law enforcement officer
is on our tail, mama.
We'd better pull over.
License and registration,
Certainly, officer.
You two in the back,
step out of the car!
Open your pork traps.
Oh, no, no, no, no!
Tck tck tck!
Is everything ok?
No, everything is not ok!
Look at these teeth!
They are an abomination!
What's going on, Dad?
Well, Mom, these
kids need braces
Right now!
I don't think--
You don't think what?
Oh, what are you people,
a bunch of communists?
Listen, Dad, helping
freaks of nature like your kids
is my calling.
I am an orthodontic policeman.
- A what?
- A what?
As an orthodontic policeman,
it is my duty
to cruise the nation's highways,
sniffing out deformities
in the mouths
of this great country's
This won't hurt a bit.
Secure the patients!
Patients secured.
Now, kids, be brave
little soldiers.
You think this is ok?
He is an orthodontic
police officer.
Are you sure about this?
Of course I am.
I'm a professional,
or my name isn't
Officer Pantsoffski.
Got to go.
Thank you, officer.
Just doing my job, ma'am.
Everyone is going
to laugh at us.
Ah, quit whining!
Hey, man, when it rains,
does your mouths rust?
Where's the train,
railroad faces?
Yoo-hoo, metal mouths.
Hey, look.
It's Earl.
Hi, guys.
Hey, what happened?
I was on my paper route,
and I got pulled over
by the orthodontic police.
The thing is, I already
had braces on anyways.
Oh, morning, teacher.
- Uh!
- Uh!
I was on my way to school
when I got stopped
by the orthodontic police.
I had no idea I needed braces.
Nothing on the planet
is more important
than straight teeth.
At least that's what
the pantsless policeman said.
You see that?
Teacher always had
beautiful teeth.
We got to do something.
You, too?
What kind of animal would keep
a policeman from his donuts?
I guess now it's up to us
to stop this maniac.
Did you hear that?
It's coming from over there.
I wonder if grandma and
grandpa need braces, too.
I don't even have any teeth.
What?! You call
those dentures?!
Oh, what are we going to do?
I know.
Uh, so, when do we get
these things off?
Oh, you want to know
when you can take off
those mean old braces, huh?
They're permanent!
Ha ha ha ha!
Oye, Señor Pantsoffski.
¡Supercow al rescate!
Oh, another satisfied customer.
Oh, ha ha!
My work here is done.
Got to fly.
No tan rapido, policia.
¡Toma, toma, señor policia!
Careful with the molars.
Excuse me, but did you
wash your hooves before--
That's the last one.
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ok, I did what you said.
I removed all the braces
off everybody.
Now can you take off mine?!
That was our deal!
Oh, I wish we could,
but we have already
rented you out
as a satellite tracking dish.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Is there a real orthodontist
in the house?!
Previous EpisodeNext Episode