Cow and Chicken (1997) s01e17 Episode Script

Ballerina Cow

And now back to the little
bus that could but wouldn't.
Mom and Dad!
You promised you'd watch me do
my dance routine today.
You promised, too, Chicken.
Ah, jeez-louise, not again!
Are you sure you're ready
to perform for us, dear?
You might want to
practice a little more.
Yeah yeah, practice.
Oh, but I've been practicing and
practicing and practicing for years.
If I'm not ready now,
I'll never be ready.
Well, dear, sometimes
never being ready
is the best kind of ready to be.
Now, isn't this a little
slice of cow pie?
Settle, settle. There,
there, sweetie.
Ha ha ha!
We'll watch your dance.
I'll get my music.
Oh, everybody, sit down!
"Everybody sit down. Practice,
practice, practice."
Don't take my wrecking
ball, Mr. Repo man.
Oh, please, please,
please, please!
Oh, sorry, Mr. Slacksoff.
Sorry won't cut it, man!
If you take my wrecking ball,
you take my livelihood.
You missed 43 payments.
You haven't paid your
bill in 4 years.
And What's your point?!
Please come back!
Wrecking is my life.
How can I wreck a home
with no wrecking ball?
Jeez! Face it, Cow, you're
a dancing disatrophe!
Oh, you're right, Chicken.
I'm a failure, and I'm
only 7 years old.
Anybody alive down there?
Oh, sure. We're fine.
We've been meaning to
remodel the place anyway.
I could not help but notice
this fine cow's dancing.
You brought the house down!
Allow me to introduce myself.
Irving J. Slacksoff,
talent scout.
It says here homewrecker.
Homewrecking is my talent.
Mr. Slacksoff?
Yes, Cow?
You're standing on my brother.
Ew! I stepped in chicken!
Have you ever considered
show business?
I can use a talent
as hefty as yours.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Slacksoff!
Oh, thank you, thank
you, thank you!
Well, I can see it now, Cow.
You'll be famous.
People will pay to
see you wreck--
I mean, dance.
I have a probiscus sense
of preboding about this.
Come along, Chicken.
We might miss Cow's
opening number.
Yeah, as if.
Oh, special seats up front
for the proud cow parents.
Where's my star?
There you are, my
little cash cow.
It's show time!
Oh, this is my big break,
isn't it, Mr. Slacksoff?
Yes. You're big, and
you'll break everything!
Quiet. Quiet. Shh!
Ha ha ha!
Psst! Get up, Cow.
We've got a building
to knock down.
All right, you! Keep your mitts
off of my sister's tail!
Here. Hold this.
Buh-bye, Chicken.
Don't be a stranger.
Oh! You recovered, my little
dervish of demolition.
Get out there and dance!
And remember, you're
going out there a star,
but you'll come back a nobody!
Moo! Uh!
Moo! Uh!
Mama, I think Cow has talent.
Oh! Is there a cure for that?
Grandma, is that you?
Is there a bladder
specialist in the house?
What you doing, Chicken?
I'm bee-flying. What
does it look like?
Oh. Can I fly him?
Only men can fly bees.
Here's your dumb bee.
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon big
star in cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel!
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round any corner
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
What the--
No one asked me.
Ahh customer.
These pansies are stinking!
I want my money back!
I need fancy flowers
for selling.
Mine stinky.
I never thought I'd see the day that
an actual thistle would be on display.
I know. I sell thistle.
I.R. making money big!
I.R. selling thistle ♪
I.R. selling thistle ♪
I.R. selling thistle ♪
I.R. selling thistle ♪
Can thistle come out for play?
It's a little late for play
time, don't you think?
Um we play nighttime
game-- flashlight tag.
Ooh! Ooh! That's a fun game.
Ooh! Thanks for you, sir!
You'll need this.
Have fun, kids!
Pretty flower need
pretty planter.
What'd I do?!
Last thistle in world I.R. kill!
I sorry. I.R. have
plant emergency.
Ohh! Don't leave I.R.!
I.R. need you!
Did you manhandle
this poor thistle?
Don't you know that manhandling
is the leading cause of
death in the plant world?
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
I.R. ashame.
The thistle needs an immediate
vein transplant to survive.
We'll need a volunteer.
I.R. volunteer.
Fire one!
Fire two!
Fire 3!
I'm astounded.
I've conducted thousands
of vein transplants,
and never have I witnessed
a baboon-thistle hybrid.
Ohh, Baboon in love ♪
Thistle lady and Baboon, ♪
they fit like a glove ♪
Ohh, Baboon in love ♪
Thistle lady has ♪
such prickly skin ♪
Baboon have to ♪
bathe in gelatin ♪
Thistle kisses ♪
making baboon grin ♪
Always keep him ♪
coming back again ♪
Ahh you--me marry?
You--me marry.
Is marrying chapel nearby?
I'm afraid I don't know.
I'm also a supreme
court justice.
No wilting me at altar, I.R.
Do you, thistle,
take this baboon
to be your lawfully
wedded baboon?
I do!
And do you, Baboon,
take this thistle
to be your lawfully
wedded houseplant?
You bet! Ha ha ha!
You may kiss the thistle.
The love between the thistle lady and I.R.
Baboon was fruitful.
Today, thistle flowers
are no longer rare.
They grow like flies
all around the world,
even in your own backyard.
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