Cow and Chicken (1997) s02e09 Episode Script
Dirty Laundry
1
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad was proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
"Startling discovery!
"Paper is made from trees, by Timmy!"
Well, steam my shorts!
Stories like this is why nobody's readin'
our school newspaper anymore.
Timmy, the tree boy, you're fired!
And we're bringing in an advisor.
The distinguished TV journalist,
Jeraldo Rearviewa!
Hello! I'm the journalist!
We're going to turn this boring rag
into an exciting television news show.
And you?
I like the cut of your waddle.
You get to be the cameraman.
Does anyone else want to work
on our news show?
I do, Mr. Rearviewa.
Of course you do!
You can have puff Timmy's Editor job,
and pick all the stories!
Did you know that the FDA found
more than the acceptable level of rat
in your school sandwiches?
Hey, that ain't true!
It is now!
I didn't do it! It wasn't my rat!
The Lunch Lady was arrested today
after this reporter learned
there was rats in our sandwiches.
Oh, I know you're upset, Cow.
But look! Our ratings are in.
The whole town is watching!
They are?
So, what's the next story?
I want a nice story about our gym teacher.
Hey, who gives a rolling donut about
You know he wears little frilly girlie socks?
That ain't true.
Now it is.
Shower time, girls! Lather up!
Careful now!
Don't be afraid of the soap, Johnson!
I don't want any girlie men on my team!
I want man men!
Hey! We're gonna be cancelin' periods
one thru five
so you students can watch
the most popular news show in the world.
You know him as the guy
who makes you do laps.
But when nobody's lookin',
he wears little girlie socks.
There is the girlie socks!
Get him! Get him!
What are we doin' here at Flem and Earl's?
Did you know it's illegal for little boys
to have little girl middle names?
Just check out their birth certificates!
Earl Beatrice and Flem Jennifer.
See?
Hey! Flem and Earl are my friends!
They're your friends?
Well, that's tough!
Get to work!
It is a lie! I don't got a middle name!
I don't even got a last name! I'm just Flem!
Flem!
Chicken!
Our show is number one in the world!
But I don't have any friends no more.
Everyone's afraid
I'll do a mean story about them!
Oh, looks like I'm your only friend.
Hi, big brother!
Except for her.
Oh, Cow?
Our next story is on the little Cow Editor
of the most popular show in the world!
Goodie! A happy story!
Oh, man!
Oh, goodnight, Crabs The Warthog Doll.
Goodnight, Piles The Beaver Doll.
Oh, goodnight Manure The Bear.
Wait till she's asleep
and then put her hoof in warm water.
Everybody knows
that makes you milk the bed.
And once you tape it,
we are talking Pulitzer!
Oh, I don't know
why my stories turn out mean.
It can't be Chicken's fault.
He's doing the best he can.
It's all my fault!
Mine!
I can't do this!
Do what, big brother?
Another mean story.
I didn't want to make Coach
and the Lunch Lady
and Flem and Earl look bad.
It was him!
Oh, I knew that pantsless journalist
was a bad man!
Oh, whatever are we going to do?
I got an idea!
What is taking him so long?
Hey, Rearviewa!
I am having camera problems!
Well fix it!
I cannot! There is a ladder.
Come up here and help me!
"I can't fix it! I can't fix it!"
All right, what's the problem?
Mama!
There's a pantsless man in the room!
Hey, easy man!
Nein lederhosen
No!
And then the pantsless
Red Guy was chased
until he was captured
by the Folsom Police!
Hello! It's me, The Warden!
This looks like the beginning
of a beautiful friendship!
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad was proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
"Startling discovery!
"Paper is made from trees, by Timmy!"
Well, steam my shorts!
Stories like this is why nobody's readin'
our school newspaper anymore.
Timmy, the tree boy, you're fired!
And we're bringing in an advisor.
The distinguished TV journalist,
Jeraldo Rearviewa!
Hello! I'm the journalist!
We're going to turn this boring rag
into an exciting television news show.
And you?
I like the cut of your waddle.
You get to be the cameraman.
Does anyone else want to work
on our news show?
I do, Mr. Rearviewa.
Of course you do!
You can have puff Timmy's Editor job,
and pick all the stories!
Did you know that the FDA found
more than the acceptable level of rat
in your school sandwiches?
Hey, that ain't true!
It is now!
I didn't do it! It wasn't my rat!
The Lunch Lady was arrested today
after this reporter learned
there was rats in our sandwiches.
Oh, I know you're upset, Cow.
But look! Our ratings are in.
The whole town is watching!
They are?
So, what's the next story?
I want a nice story about our gym teacher.
Hey, who gives a rolling donut about
You know he wears little frilly girlie socks?
That ain't true.
Now it is.
Shower time, girls! Lather up!
Careful now!
Don't be afraid of the soap, Johnson!
I don't want any girlie men on my team!
I want man men!
Hey! We're gonna be cancelin' periods
one thru five
so you students can watch
the most popular news show in the world.
You know him as the guy
who makes you do laps.
But when nobody's lookin',
he wears little girlie socks.
There is the girlie socks!
Get him! Get him!
What are we doin' here at Flem and Earl's?
Did you know it's illegal for little boys
to have little girl middle names?
Just check out their birth certificates!
Earl Beatrice and Flem Jennifer.
See?
Hey! Flem and Earl are my friends!
They're your friends?
Well, that's tough!
Get to work!
It is a lie! I don't got a middle name!
I don't even got a last name! I'm just Flem!
Flem!
Chicken!
Our show is number one in the world!
But I don't have any friends no more.
Everyone's afraid
I'll do a mean story about them!
Oh, looks like I'm your only friend.
Hi, big brother!
Except for her.
Oh, Cow?
Our next story is on the little Cow Editor
of the most popular show in the world!
Goodie! A happy story!
Oh, man!
Oh, goodnight, Crabs The Warthog Doll.
Goodnight, Piles The Beaver Doll.
Oh, goodnight Manure The Bear.
Wait till she's asleep
and then put her hoof in warm water.
Everybody knows
that makes you milk the bed.
And once you tape it,
we are talking Pulitzer!
Oh, I don't know
why my stories turn out mean.
It can't be Chicken's fault.
He's doing the best he can.
It's all my fault!
Mine!
I can't do this!
Do what, big brother?
Another mean story.
I didn't want to make Coach
and the Lunch Lady
and Flem and Earl look bad.
It was him!
Oh, I knew that pantsless journalist
was a bad man!
Oh, whatever are we going to do?
I got an idea!
What is taking him so long?
Hey, Rearviewa!
I am having camera problems!
Well fix it!
I cannot! There is a ladder.
Come up here and help me!
"I can't fix it! I can't fix it!"
All right, what's the problem?
Mama!
There's a pantsless man in the room!
Hey, easy man!
Nein lederhosen
No!
And then the pantsless
Red Guy was chased
until he was captured
by the Folsom Police!
Hello! It's me, The Warden!
This looks like the beginning
of a beautiful friendship!