Cowboy Bebop (1998) s01e17 Episode Script

Mushroom Samba

1 I think it's time to blow this scene Get everybody and the stuff together OK, 3-2-1, let's jam This was the most precious of the precious.
Emergency rations for a true emergency.
Saved for the last of the last resorts.
All I'm asking is who ate the food that was in this container.
Food rage it's a scary thought.
Spike, was it you by any chance? I wouldn't leave the empty box lying around as evidence.
- Ed is hungry - Maybe you ate it, and you're just pretending to be mad 'cause we found the box.
What's that? We haven't had anything to eat in two days! Wouldn't you call that an emergency? I want some bell peppers and beef We're out of fuel.
End of story.
If we can just hold out a little longer, our inertia will carry us to Europa.
Stomach's caving in If only we could use that energy to fuel ourselves.
Keep mouthing off like that, and I'll toss you out into absolute zero.
At this point, even Ein looks good enough to eat.
Watch it, Spike.
I bet you're looking pretty good to him too.
- Aw, man - That was some crash.
Hello, can you hear me out there? Come in! Wha-- Oh, fine.
Isn't that what they call a hit-and-run? We're fragged! That crash knocked us off course! What course, Jet?! What's going on here?! Whoa.
Look at this, where are we? There's nothing here.
That's the least of our troubles.
We're gonna need to check the whole ship.
Think you could hunt up a little food, Faye? What's wrong? It hurts I got a pain This a joke? Ah.
These rations expired a year ago.
It's a good thing I didn't eat them.
Serves her right.
It's poetic justice.
Let's do it.
What's the plan? Ed will help.
Gee, thanks, Ed.
Why don't you go out and get us some food instead? OK! High socks are cool! Gotta wear them outside! There's nothing here.
It's that hit-and-run ship! Wait! Hold on! Wait for Edward! Smell food? Ah! Food! Gimme gimme gimme! 1,000 Woolongs each.
That includes the tax.
Cash only.
No credit cards accepted.
Don't have cash.
Then you don't get no melon.
So can I have one? 1,000 Woolongs.
And it's cash only.
No cards.
Hey, kid, no use staring like that.
If you want food, then go into town and get it there.
Don't bother with the change.
But if you see this man, gimme a call.
I'll show my appreciation cutie-pie.
Excuse me, ma'am? We'd like to check your baggage, please.
Is there a problem? A mushroom dealer running from the law.
He's on the most wanted list, and we got word he might've come here.
What a coincidence.
I'm after the same guy for that nice big bounty.
You're a cowboy? We need to check your trunk.
Go ahead, feel free.
- Huh? - What? - All right - Hey! - Freeze! - Now, wait a minute! - All right, stay still.
- I don't know anything about this! - Put your hands on the ground! - What are you doing?! - Do exactly as I say! - Let's go, hurry up! - You're under arrest! - Move it! Come on! Foodie, food, food, food, do you have any? Yes you do, do, do, do.
Boy, is Ed hungry.
- Meanie! - You crazy, boy? Give some to Edward! Dammit, cut that out! Hey! Ha! Now don't tell me that you've forgotten who I am so soon, Domino? - Let's see - Think, dammit! I'm the youngest Shaft brother.
We bought all those mushrooms from you! - Uh, I don't remember you.
- No? Do you wanna know why I drag an empty coffin like this wherever I go? I tell you, 'cause I'm putting your corpse inside it! Pieces, pieces, all gone.
What did what with who? My older brother ate a mushroom that he bought from you, and then he laughed until he twisted his intestines to death! Happy way to die, I'd say.
Shut up! The whole thing was your fault! I'd call that unjust resentment.
Edward is hungry.
Yeah? Then eat this, fool! Hey! Get your butt back here and fight like a man, you punk! Food Hey, wait a minute, Ein! We have to share and share alike! Ein? Bad mushroom? Really? Delicious.
Hey, well now.
This thing can't really be here, can it? So I can't really be faulted for eating something that's not here.
Hey, the world really is a great place.
What? Oh, wow, did I just say something? Hey, mister.
This here is the stairway to heaven.
You know that, don't you? Obnoxious little frog Fine, why should I care.
I warned you, though! So that's how it is.
The secret of the universe is so simple.
Man By the way just who am I, anyway? So these mushrooms really aren't good for eating, right, Ein? Hi, amigos! It's time once again for Big Shot! With a bunch of new and exciting bounties this week! Coming out the chute first today Is this dude, Domino Walker.
Wanted on six planets for selling illegal mushrooms.
Hey, we saw him! She's a cowgirl, Ein.
We'll get the reward and buy food! Ein, you're a cow-woof-woof.
And a 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! Here we go! Woo-hoo! All right, lady.
Let's start at the top.
Look, I don't know anything! Right, so a kid and a dog you didn't know are in your car.
Yes, what is it? Sally, I'm busy.
What are you calling me for? I'm in the middle of an interrogation.
Yeah, yeah, and that's it? No, no, I didn't mean "that's it" in a bad way.
No, I'm not patronizing you because you're a woman.
Yes, I love you too, hon.
Tonight at seven.
All right.
Hey! What's wrong, young'un? Why so blue? Your woman run off with another man or something? Sounds familiar None of your business, you old geezers.
What? Yeah, sonny, that's what happens when you eat too fast.
I got a home remedy for that.
Mushrooms! You sure that works? He's not here.
Aww Hmm Hey! It's that hit-and-run ship! I'm sure they never dreamed I was raising these right in here.
Mm, this one's bad.
Oh well.
Landing here was a big mistake, - but I-- - Are you surprised? Who the hell are you?! - What are you doing in here? - That's my line, kid.
- How'd you sneak into my ship, anyway? - The door was open.
All right, hit-and-run driver, this is a bust! Stinky gas! You crazy kid! I'm getting outta here! Come back here, you stinky cowpoke! Africa, Mexico, Sicily, Tijuana India, Osaka, Indonesia Africa, Mexico, Sicily, Tijuana India, Osaka, Indonesia You're not getting away from me, Domino! Let's kick the beat Brotha, get outta my way! Let's kick the beat Let's kick the beat Let's kick the beat Mushroom hunting Ein, go! Mushroom hunting Mushroom hunting Let go of that! Let go of my bag! Let go! Mushroom hunting Mushroom hunting Get off of me, you dumb motha-- Yah! - I gotcha! - Hold on! These mushrooms are worth 100,000 each.
- Let me go, and they're all yours.
- I dunno Me or the shrooms, what's worth more? - I dunno.
- What? Are you a total airhead? - Take the mushrooms! - All right! - Jeez - Hooray! (Thanks.
) (Oh, it's no problem.
) Yee-haw! Dinner! Mushrooms! 100,000 each? No kidding! Adds up to some pretty serious money.
Ed, are these real? Excuse me.
Police officer.
Do you know a man named Domino? He deals in illegal mushrooms.
I'm afraid we wouldn't know anything about that, you know.
I'm sorry we can't be of any help, officer.
Ed knows about-- The kid's a little odd.
Hey! - She's just playing.
- She thinks it's a game.
Uh-huh Stand aside, please.
Mm-hmm All clear.
Guess you folks really like shiitake mushrooms.
Well, sorry to bother you.
- Dinner's ready.
- What'd you make? Shiitake stir-fry, shiitake stew, shiitake salad and shiitake on ice.
Woo-hee! Again? How many days has it been now? No more I can't deal with it.
Quit complaining, and be thankful there's something to eat.
Thankful! Aishiteta to nageku ni wa Amari ni mo toki wa sugite shimatta Mada kokoro no hokorobi o Iyasenu mama kaze ga fuiteru Kawaita hitomi de dareka naite kure The real folk blues Hontou no kanashimi ga shiritai dake Doro no kawa ni tsukatta Jinsei mo waruku wa nai Ichido kiri de owarunara A videotape was delivered to the Bebop with no return address.
When we took a look at it, things took a turn for the unexpected.
Well actually, the story doesn't go anywhere.
At first glance, it's pointless.
The actions are on a small scale, and the ending is forced.
But then again, what conclusions will you draw from it? Next episode: "Speak Like a Child.
" At first glance, it's interesting.