DC's Legends Of Tomorrow (2016) s05e05 Episode Script

A Head of Her Time

1 Previously on "Legends of Tomorrow" Mick frickin' Rory.
Allie, remember? She wasn't just some girl, was she? Remember when we dented history? Your sister is the dent.
Maybe her being here, she'll remember who she was.
How did you jailbreak your way out of here? I was poking around your screens, and, suddenly, I knew how to hack my way out.
Astra and this whole bloody mess is on me.
She could continue releasing souls indefinitely.
What happened here, John? That witch is Astra's dead mother.
She's through there.
Her spirit's waiting on the other side of that door and none too happy with me.
John? Blimey, he's really cocked it up this time.
How could you let him go in there? That thing is hurting him.
Then he probably deserves it.
I can't just stand here.
Being an apprentice means never having to say, "Sorry I let you get killed by a poltergeist".
Get your filthy paws off me! No.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Move out of the way.
Are you sure you know what you're doing? Yes.
Oh, my God.
John? Aah! Oh, Gary, what have you done? Sorry, old assassin habits die hard.
Babe, now that you've given me a heart attack, I was just about to jump in.
Care to join me? Whoa, co-showering in the communal bathroom you are getting comfy, which is a good thing because I'm gonna need you to woman the ship.
I've got business in Star City.
Is everything okay? Yeah, it's just some stuff I need to take care of, but it might take a few days, which is why I need an interim captain.
- Captain? - Mm-hmm.
No, no, no, no, no.
I was just starting to find my footing as a Legend.
Nobody likes the boss, babe.
They like me.
Yeah, because you're cool Captain Lance.
I'm just a button pusher in a boring pantsuit.
Nah, babe, just have fun with it.
They are going to love you.
- No.
No, no, no.
- Yes.
I miss you already, Captain Pantsuit.
No, babe, I'm not Raise you two.
Make it ten.
Finally, a real hand.
She folds.
Like hell I do.
Like hell you do.
What the hell are you doing? Keeping us in the black.
You lost another account.
First Rasputin, then Bugsy - John Constantine - Now Meyers.
Your little resurrection venture is getting too risky.
You turn the tide, or you'll lose everything.
I've played nice long enough.
Now it's time to play naughty.
That's one angry ghost.
Yeah, and now she's loose in the bloody house.
- What, that was Astra's mum? - Yeah, her name is Natalie.
What did you do to her, John boy? It was a long time ago.
She was walking home late from work, and some drunken idiot blew a red light, and Her husband, Alex, begged me to bring her back.
You never told me that.
Yeah, well, I never told anyone.
Now, let's just say that that night in Newcastle when we lost Astra, it was a little more complicated than an exorcism.
Something tells me that you're not telling the truth.
Look, I'm trying to fix it, Nat, all right? I'm trying to save Astra.
Now help me.
Doesn't seem to be the answer she was looking for.
The demon I summoned brought Natalie back.
But if you brought her back, why is she a ghost? Because I botched it, all right? I thought I had him under control, but I didn't.
- You can't have her! - John, get me out of here! He took Astra.
Natalie couldn't live with herself knowing that the price of her life was her daughter's.
She killed herself in this room.
That's so sa Doesn't look like Natalie's done with you yet, John-o.
No, it looks like Natalie wants to take me on a trip down memory lane.
All righty-tighty, then.
You ready for the official Waverider tour? - Hmm.
- What would you like to see first? What do you people do around here for fun? If you could just follow me this way, First stop, the galley.
Gideon can whip up any kind of food you can imagine.
Last week, Nate and I made cheddar biscuits and had her fabricate some squeezable butter.
That tasty treat has been off the shelves since 2024.
She can make anything, and you went with a discontinued condiment.
Wait, can she make clothes? Of course.
Okay, tell the computer I need a dress for my perfume launch tonight.
We'll be back in time for that, right? Yes.
And, yes, Gideon can do anything.
She flies the ship, makes our food, cleans the toilets, tracks the timeline.
Tracks the time Do you mean tells the future? Behrad, we could make billions off future fall trend reports.
No, no.
Rule number one of time travel, never look into the future for personal gain.
Totally, totally.
And rule number two, no social media on the ship.
I thought we were dropping you off.
My brother, the actual superhero Invited me to stay.
Okay, let's just remember this is a place of business, okay? We get called on a mission, you need to keep out of our way.
Aye, aye.
Okay, we'll talk later.
Sad, what a waste of a good head of hair.
Here you go.
Hide it.
Can your computer lady make me some cucumber water? I'm parched from that dry interaction.
She and her mom have been living out of their car for almost a year, and now her mom has a final-round job interview.
You are incredible.
I miss you, but it feels pretty good to be out here helping people.
- Out.
- Ah, it's okay.
I have to go anyway.
Okay, uh, well, um, I'll call you later.
I love you.
I'm I'm sorry.
I just kind of blurted that out.
No, it's okay.
It's okay.
You don't have to be sorry.
I love you, too.
- You do? - I said "get out".
Okay, I'll call later.
- Bye.
- Okay.
Mick, are you feeling all right? My stomach hurts.
I can't eat.
I can't drink.
I think Allie gave me an STD back at the reunion.
Initiating scan.
Those are not symptoms.
Those are feelings.
Mick, I think you're developing a crush.
Is that when you whiz and it hurts? No, it's biology's way of telling you you care about someone else Dr.
Palmer is correct.
The results of my body scan indicate that you do, in fact, like like her.
Interim Captain Sharpe here, team meeting in the parlor, over and out.
Okay, that was good.
It was fun yet to the point.
Not too Gideon, are you broadcasting this? Sorry, Miss Sharpe, I'll shut it down.
Okay, thank you, we women have to stick together.
I always thought of you as one of the guys.
Okay, I don't know what that means.
He means that as a compliment.
- I do.
- Okay.
- Hmm.
- That's for you.
That's for you.
Okay, then.
What did I say about phones? What? I need to tell my boyfriend I'm not dead.
Uh, boyfriend? Yep, internationally renowned DJ S'more Money.
Ah, okay, we've got Ray.
- Uh, where's Mick? - He's sick.
- Lovesick.
- Oh.
Oh, lei.
So while Sara's in Star City, I wanted to introduce you all to something that I developed at the Time Bureau.
I know what you're all thinking, Time Bureau, #stuffy.
What can we learn from those guys? But we really did have a lot of fun over there.
Do you remember taco Mondays, Nate? Yeah, those were some wild taco times.
- Yeah.
- Aloha? Yes, A.
It stands for assess, listen, observe, hydrate - attack! - What the - Cool.
- See? Uh, how many pages is this? Ava, you ever heard the proverb "the fox knows many things, the hedgehog knows one big thing"? I have not.
Well, Legends, we're a fox kind of organization.
Adaptable, off the cuff.
This this is very hedgehog.
Trying to impose one way of doing things onto every situation.
And not to be rude is there a mission here? - No, I just - Okay, then, I'm gonna introduce Zari to the wonders of Gideon's Austrian toast.
- Actually, it's French toast.
- Ah Pretty sure it's Austrian.
Gideon, Gideon, check the timeline.
It would appear that there is a disturbance at the Bastille in Paris, 1793.
While the details are still hazy, the aftermath is traumatic.
Thousands die, and the French Revolution collapses.
Well, looks like we have a mission, so everybody stop looking so "Les Misérables", because we are going to France.
Behrad, come on, we need to move.
Hey, guys.
I couldn't stop her.
She found the fabrication room.
She's not coming.
We don't do ride-alongs in the field, B.
Ava, I can handle myself in the field.
I once played capture the flag to raise awareness about feline OCD, so This isn't a PR event, all right? We're walking into a deadly situation facing an Encore with unknown powers.
I do not have time to keep my eye on a party girl.
I do.
What? I mean, come on, Ava, what's the harm? It's against protocol to bring civilians into the field.
- Tsk.
- Don't "tsk".
Yeah, but it would be super cool if you just let me come anyway.
- Uh, okay, fine.
- Yay.
Just, uh, make sure you stay out of our way.
Yay! What the hell was that? My signature perfume, Dragonesque.
I needed to do something to help that extremely sad outfit.
Spray, delay, walk away.
Okay, we're going this way.
I was just doing a runway turn.
This period in France was called the Reign of Terror.
Executions were a national pastime.
- Whoa! - Ooh, yikes.
Yeah, we could definitely be walking into a bloodbath.
And you want us to go in there? Yeah, that's our job.
Excuse me, sir.
Uh, we need to get in there.
It is of vital importance that we get in there, sir.
Please? Oh.
Stand back.
This isn't a club, Zari, it's an execution.
An event is an event.
Out of the way.
Where do you think you're going? Um, do you know who you're talking to? What's your name? Jean-Paul.
Très bien.
Now they'll know who to fire when they find out you left Zari Tarazi standing outside.
Un grand faux pas.
Not them.
Jean-Paul, my purse isn't gonna walk in by itself.
Um, didn't you say this was an execution? Maybe Gideon got it wrong.
Well, if they were misérables, they certainly aren't anymore.
Stop with the thing.
You know, you can just say the word, and I'll put you in a prime spot uptown.
So I can rub shoulders with all those arrogant soul traders? No, thank you.
I need some help with one of the coins you constructed.
Help? When else do you come see me? - I assume this is why you're here? - How did you John Constantine.
I remember making this.
What do you want for him? Oh, I don't want to trade him.
I want to kill him.
Tourist attraction number two.
The night Alex begged me to save Natalie.
He was supposed to pick her up that night she got hit, but they had a big fight, so she walked.
Alex was beside himself.
He was torn up.
Astra, she hadn't said a word since the accident.
How was I supposed to say no? Alex begged me, but I knew I should have said no.
Bollocks, John! Come on, try again! Alex wanted it, and I just provided the how, all right? What's the difference, Nat? So the resurrection was your idea? Yes, all right? Nat and I, we were best friends, How could I not try and save her? See? The truth can set you free.
I was on this world when you went away Is that Mucous Membrane? So clearly till this day I don't want to do this This place doesn't seem too evil.
Yeah, well, appearances can be deceiving, okay? We need to figure out who this encore is and what powers they may have.
We start with the A.
method, okay? Assessment, lay low, don't engage.
We know how to party sneak.
Listen to me you see something, you say something.
- Captain.
- Yeah.
You're trying too hard.
It's really desperate.
So this is your job? Walking around parties? Isn't this kind of what you do? Hmm, touché.
But something definitely feels off.
At this point in the French Revolution, most of the royals had been separated from their heads.
Even wearing a nice dress could get you sent to the guillotine.
Uh, and you let me come out in this because ? I'm sucker for a corset and an updo.
Napoleon? He should be marching on southern France, not getting freaky.
Wha okay.
Guys, steer clear.
Exercise extreme caution.
- Relax, Ava.
- I'm trying.
Nora? Ava, I think we found our encore.
She's in the VIP area.
Nora's our encore? No, Ray, that's Marie Antoinette.
And she should definitely be without her head by now.
Oh, great, on to phase two of A.
It's listening.
Now, her powers could be anything teleportation, pyrokinesis.
Fatal attractiveness.
- I mean - Right? Guys? Guys? They're not usually like this.
Well, you're not usually captain.
Thank you.
I just swapped crepe recipes with a French cooking legend.
This is the best party ever.
Excuse me, since when do you drink? Whoa, where did I even get that? You know what? You're right.
Something is definitely wrong.
Move out of the way.
It is time.
Of course, the perfect revenge, a magical guillotine.
Guys, be careful, I think Marie's about to make her move.
Now! Let them eat cake! - Cake, cake.
- Need some cake.
- Pardon me.
- Pardon me.
- Pardonne-moi.
- Pardonne-moi.
So it's not a guillotine.
What day is it? Uh, how long have you been here? Oh, my God, he's dead.
Ugh, he literally partied himself to death.
So tacky.
Look, no, he's not the only one.
What is happening? That's why I don't eat carbs.
This woman is next-level popular People would rather die than leave.
Talk about FOMO.
My God, that's it.
Marie Antoinette was beheaded for partying while France starved, and now she is literally killing the Revolution with a nonstop party.
Legends, we figured it out.
Charm is her superpower.
Hello? Ray, Nate, Behrad? It's like she's gotten to everyone except for us.
So we have to stop this.
Wait, I'm on the team? Sure.
Okay, what's the plan? Uh, we have to find a way to get Marie Antoinette out of here without a riot.
The only way to get a celebrity to leave her own party quietly is to make her think there's a cooler party somewhere else that she's not at.
Let's go tell her.
Uh-uh, girl, you're not gonna get anywhere in this ensemble.
What are you doing? Stop.
Hey, trust me.
- Ugh.
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Come on.
Don't you walk away That's her, Natalie.
Oh, she's good.
You loved her.
It's quite the track record, isn't it? One lover sent to hell, the other one a ghost.
Please, John, it's eating you up.
You have to stop.
Look, Natalie, you're gonna have to trust me on this one, all right? I've got it under control.
If Lester hadn't been there, I would have lost you tonight.
Look, let's just leave all this behind.
We'll go to New York.
We'll start clean.
You have to choose.
Magic or me.
Screw you, John Constantine.
All right, that's enough, all right? I don't want you in my head or in my memories! No more games! We're trapped in this house with a knife-wielding ghost, and you're still refusing to own up to your past.
You are a fine one to talk, aren't you? Well, why don't we poke around in your closet for a while, eh? - Why did you leave, Charlie? - Uh, guys? I'm no hero.
It was time to go.
Yeah, what, you just wandered into my house looking for a party? What are you really doing here, eh? Don't even try and turn this on me, all right? It's your lies that have trapped us here.
She's right, John.
Natalie, is that really you? Every level of the party has its guardians.
Getting past the bouncer, easy.
Getting past the friends, you need to know someone.
But we don't know anybody.
I know that guy.
- You know Napoleon? - No, but they don't know that.
Bonjour, Napoleon.
We're with him.
Oh, she separated from the pack.
- Now's the time.
- Oh, good, work your magic.
Oh, teaching moment.
The big secret to being cool, confidence.
It makes people think you have something they don't.
- You got this, Captain.
- No, but I don't ah Thank you.
I do not know you.
What are you doing here? - Uh - Hmm? - Ah - Ah? - Leaving.
- Ugh, leaving? Ugh.
Actually, I am going to the after-party.
What is this "aprés-party"? Mm, it's a party after the party.
It's the best place to be.
Where is it? Mm, I can't tell you.
- Ugh.
- But I can take you.
- Oui, take me.
- Mm.
Oh, oh, this is my bestie, Zari she's coming with.
Yas, queen.
Guys, I have Marie, and we're taking her to the Waverider.
That's a good idea.
We can have her all to ourselves.
- Whoo! - Marie, come back.
There is an "aprés-party".
Guys, we have company.
Oh, the after-party's right this way.
Guys, I need backup.
Corsets are so impractical.
Marie, where's the party? I do not think this is a good idea.
We're gonna party our faces off it's gonna be great.
Oh! Ew.
Should've seen that coming.
Return me to my body this instant, or I will have your head for this.
- Get her to the Waverider! - Oh, this is weird.
This party stinks! Oh, so true, girl.
But not the point.
She's annoying, you can just Yeah.
Ah, get this thing off of me.
Ugh, I can't believe I tried the drink.
Can't believe I ate all that gluten-filled cake.
I can't believe how heavy that head is.
Yeah, she really had you under her spell.
If it weren't for our interim legend here, you guys would've partied to death.
Well, just to play it safe, I'm gonna take this into the library.
Aah! You see? - Oh, I'll help you.
- Don't get creepy, Ray.
- So, my sister the superhero.
- Hmm.
Should I get Gideon to make you a cowl? Mm, cowls are for middle-aged women who want to hide their necks.
But I do need a dress for the party tonight.
Fabricator's all yours.
Yay, thank you.
Is that really you, Nat? I need to hear you say it.
Why did you bring me back? Because I loved you, Nat.
I never stopped.
I'm not here for the John Constantine broken hero act.
Say it to my face.
I need to hear the truth.
I brought you back to prove to you that I was right to show you that I was right to choose magic over us.
Thank you.
I needed you to admit to yourself what you did because if you're going to save Astra, you need to do it for her, not for your ego.
Oh, I have tried to save her, Nat, I have tried, but I don't know how.
I think I found a way.
Follow me.
Uh, yoo-hoo.
Hello? E-excuse me? Can you help me? Where's my body? You were throwing a party intended to kill people, so, no, not gonna help you.
When I was 14, I was forced to leave my family.
People saw the dresses, the parties, the hair, and they assumed I was a spoiled brat.
Really, I was just a lonely Viennese girl trying to fit into French society.
I've been famous since I was six years old.
I don't know if people love me or love to hate me.
What they don't understand is how hard I work to create a fantasy for them.
The secret is to never let the party stop.
If I had known then what I know now Gidget, is there anything I need to worry about? Interim Captain Sharpe instructed you not to look at your future.
Just a peek, little lady computer.
As you wish.
October 7, 2045.
Zari Tarazi faces major backlash from her fans, known as Z Nation, after the FDA banned her perfume Dragonesque for destroying users' sense of smell.
Oh, no.
I trusted her.
- I wanted to be her, - but now I'll never smell another flower because of her.
From Z-Nation to Zero-Nation, Zari Tarazi's Cat-Chat followers have plummeted to almost zero.
Meow! But I didn't know there was anything wrong with the perfume.
This is so unfair.
Okay, I have to get out in front of this.
Maybe Gidget can make me a new perfume.
Or I can just take yours.
No, you cannot have it.
I mean, it's not like you're using it.
You have half a neck.
Why do you care so much about a bottle of perf Oh, you're not super charming, you used magical popularity perfume.
Honestly, that makes me feel better about myself.
Huh, what are you doing? Shh.
Can't have you ratting me out.
Oh, there you are.
Thank God, thank God.
I have been so worried, but, uh, don't worry No, I've totally been keeping up your Catchat account.
Yesterday I posted a picture of a cat licking a tube of Dragonesque lipstick.
Gross, Les-Lay.
I would never post that.
I'm so sorry.
I will delete it.
Here is the hero bottle for the photoshoot.
Actually, change of plans.
- Oh, so retro.
- Thanks.
- Oh, hi.
- Hey, Z.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, watch the s'more.
- What are you doing? - Sorry, babe.
So have you decided where you want to do the proposal yet? The what? Didn't my agent call you? Yeah, um, I haven't had a chance to tell you yet, Z, but S'mores' team came up with the most epic idea.
He should propose to you at next week's MTV Movie Awards in advance of your DJ and Z co-branded sunglasses launch.
We're getting married? Yeah, or we can do it somewhere more chill, you know, like, at the DJ S'more Money spring break house party live cast.
- Something like that? - How romantic.
Yeah, it's gonna be dope.
- Okay, let's do this.
- Ready for this.
Let's go.
- Hey, hey! - So exciting.
Okay, one spritz should be safe.
Spray, delay, walk away.
You have to do a 23andMe.
I mean, she must be related to you.
Here, doesn't she look exactly like you? Ray, I am looking at a gagged, decapitated woman.
If that's what you think I look like, we have a lot of processing to do.
Oh, no, look Sorry, Miss Antoinette.
Thief! - Can you taste the cardamom? - I can't.
I can't taste anything because your sister's perfume clogged up my entire olfactory system.
Everything tastes like Zari, Zari stole Marie Antoinette's perfume.
You should see what Mick stole from Mexico.
- It's disgusting.
- Should consider ourselves lucky.
At least she didn't do something to screw up history.
Oh, my God, the perfume.
That's how Marie did it.
Zari and I weren't affected 'cause we couldn't smell because of the Dragonesque.
Who knows what kind of damage she could do with that? It's all my fault.
I shouldn't have let her stay.
I knew it was too early to pat myself on the back.
Ah, look, it wouldn't be a true Legends mission unless something went wrong.
Or several things.
Uh, wasn't there a body on that stretcher? Have I told you how hot you look in that dress? No, but you can tell me now.
Super hot! And you smell fantastic.
You know what? Screw our agents.
I don't want to wait till the fall launch of our sunglasses in October to begin my life with you.
Hey, listen up! S'more Money has an announcement to make! Zari Tarazi, will you marry me? Uh, S'more Oh! Ugh.
I think I just got a little too popular.
Oh, oh, God.
Here, body, body, body, body, body.
Okay, body.
No one wants to hurt you.
Speak for yourself! Hey, come on, Mick.
She's harmless.
It's just a headless body.
Oh, whoa.
A little help here.
No, Mick, don't! She's mine! Okay, we need to protect ourselves.
Zari's deployed Marie's perfume.
Ah! Okay, team, A.
Run, run! Nate, what do you got? I'm assessing Zari used too much of the perfume, 'cause this crowd is bananas.
Behrad? I'm listening, and I hear another mob coming.
Okay, I'm observing, and there are way too many people for us to stop.
We need to get that perfume off of her to stop this.
- How? - I have an idea.
I need your help.
Behrad, now! You guys came back for me.
A Legend never gets left behind, even an interim one.
Follow me.
- What are you doing? - Trust me.
There's too many of them.
I can't stop them all.
- Come on! - Okay.
Well, we've tried the A.
The A.
haven't gotten us anywhere.
What does the H stand for? Hydrate! - S'mores.
- Yeah.
- Zari's boyfriend? - That's me.
- Okay, guys.
- Oh, God.
Party's over.
Did Zari just jump into the fountain? Whoa, talk about desperate stunts.
I'm calling my agent to schedule a divorce! Wait, what does that last A stand for? Attack! Hey.
Look at us.
We thought we could change the world with our little loom.
This one's to bring me mum back.
The Loom of Fate it's not just a story, it's real.
Three old Greek birds cutting threads, hunkering down over a loom to weave together the fate of humankind.
If it's real, how come I haven't heard of it, eh? You're asking the wrong person.
Why do you think I brought her here? What the bloody hell was that? What do you know about the Loom of Fate? I know bugger all.
- How did you find this place, Charlie? - You told me about it.
Oh, bollocks, I've never told anyone about it.
Natalie brought you here to help me save Astra and stop those encores, so tell me, what do you know about the Loom of Date? Fate's a load of crap.
You haven't answered my question, Charlie.
Look, you want to know what I'm hiding from? - Yes, I do! - It's that bloody loom! - So it is real? - It was Until I destroyed it.
"Lady in cheap pantsuit ruins party".
Ava was right about no phones on the ship.
Had Gideon whip you up some new clothes.
- Hope you like flannel.
- I do not.
Listen, I know, you're gonna tell me how selfish I was for stealing the perfume and burning the team.
You guys toil away in obscurity to save humanity from unknown baddies, and I just go and spray evil perfume all over New York City without a second thought.
I'm jerk.
I'm sorry.
I was just gonna ask if you wanted a doughnut.
I haven't had a doughnut in 1,743 days.
Hey, what is this, eh, doughnut? Shut up, Marie.
Ah, phoo! Hey.
Nice shirt.
Hmm, you would be into lumberjack chic.
There's an incoming hologram from Captain Lance.
How'd the mission go? Oh, um - Well, I - Killed it.
She was a foxy hedgehog out there.
We got our encore, Captain.
Oh, good.
I'm glad to hear it.
Ava, call me later so I can thank you properly.
Oh, Captain, my captain.
"Call me later so I can properly congratulate you".
- Guys, come on.
- She doesn't sound like that.
Zari! Hey, are you okay? Yeah, I was I was just, uh, enjoying this doughnut and thinking You locked Marie Antoinette up, but you let me off the hook.
I mean, she killed people, Zari.
You screwed up.
You know, everybody screws up.
- Not you.
- Me? I feel like I'm screwing up all the time.
You were so on mission.
You crashed an A-list party in a pantsuit and threw yourself into a fountain.
Ugh, see, it's a perfect example.
No, it was amazing.
You didn't care what anyone thought.
You were just being you.
I've been trying to get people to like me for so long that I've forgotten who I really am.
I have millions of followers but zero friends.
You got one.
Really? Come on.
Well, as your friend, I have to tell you - no more pantsuits.
- Mm.
You're better than that.
He still has ten years before the lung cancer catches up to him.
Can you make it zero? It's a nasty way to go, especially all at once.
You sure that's who you want to be? Why is it so hard for people to let little girls grow up.
John may be the villain in your story, but in mine, he's just cocktail party conversation.
I have a few enemies of my own.
One day, I'm going to call you, and you are going to do me a favor.
You make favor sound like sin.
This is hell, sweetie.
Do it.
You broke the Loom of Fate? How old are you? Old.
Well, if you broke it, why are you still running? I scattered those damn pieces all across the multiverse.
Just put an end to it all.
Recently I sensed that something had changed.
It's like my past was catching up with me, so John, are you okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just got a Bye-bye, Johnny.

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