Dear White People (2017) s02e04 Episode Script

Chapter IV

1 I've just really had a hard time adjusting to life at A-P.
I love Winchester, but I've actually had thoughts about transferring to Smith.
It's good enough for Barbara Bush.
It's got to be good enough for me, right? I don't know what that sentence means, but I feel it may be part of your problem.
I'm so confused.
I, like, love black people.
I do.
I use cocoa butter.
I just don't get why they all hate me so much.
While the ramifications of the Davis House disaster were still surfacing, Coco seemed to be having her best week ever.
Take me to the moment when you first sensed conflict with Keisha.
Well, I had an assignment for my Feminist Lit class, and Keisha was playing Lemonade on repeat.
Suddenly, all of Emily Brontë's words became Beyoncé lyrics.
Heathcliff was asking Catherine, "What's worst?" and, "Who the fuck do you think I is?" Careful, this is bordering on shade.
But continue.
I'm sorry to interrupt whatever this is, but CORE's starting.
James, please.
I'm talking to Abigail.
Ain't nobody ever talk to Abigail.
They don't.
- And so all day - In fact, there were hidden forces pushing Coco to an even greater next step in her Winchester career.
Watch closely.
1947 a personal library from one of Winchester's first black students is discovered in the basement of Armstrong-Parker.
There they find documented accounts of correspondence between Winchester's slaves and its early black students detailing which faculty members and families could be trusted.
It was a short list.
Excitement over the findings eventually leads to the forming of BSU, the Black Student Union, and over the next 20 years, the organization would continue to grow.
1971 after years of having the needs of women ignored by the BSU, Jeanette Daniels has had enough, and finding her boyfriend, BSU president Carver Coleman, making out with his secretary of events - certainly doesn't help.
- Oh, wait, baby.
Jeanette leaves BSU, taking a large contingent of women with her, and forms the Coalition for Racial Equality, also known as CORE.
Thanks in no small part to Jeanette's tenacity, CORE eventually becomes the administration's only officially recognized group to deal with diversity and to receive school funding.
CORE's presidency remains a much-coveted position to this day.
Yeah, so Beyoncé is one of very few physical manifestations of how Keisha aspires to move through the world.
So you didn't just ask for headphones to be used.
You effectively asked for Keisha's silence.
Plus slavery.
Wow.
I'm a monster.
You're welcome.
Okay, I'm ready.
Is it okay if I stay and listen? - Uh, actually - The more, the merrier.
And you know your cousin Gina moved in with her kids.
Got another one on the way, too.
- Can you believe that? - Mm-hmm.
I can use the company, though.
It's not like you ever call.
She did get that assistant manager job at Target, so praise God for that.
You want me to see if she can use her employee discount to get you a tankini or something? No, thanks.
You sound busy, as usual.
Just a lot on my mind.
Do you remember that group I was telling you about, CORE? - I think I'm - Child, you got so many of them clubs at that damn school, I can't keep 'em straight.
Jordan, Terrell, unh-unh! Where'd you get that? - Ugh.
- Give it here! I'm sorry.
Her badass kids keep getting in my knives.
I should just let them learn the hard way.
- Hello.
- All right, Mother.
- Kisses.
- What the hell? Hey, Muff, what's going on? Okay, so my whites at A-P have a few requests for you.
- Mm-hmm.
- Danielle wants to know why her roommate claims a cultural exemption for keeping their room at 80 degrees.
Brooke wants to know, since her hair's curly, can she use the word "nappy"? And Alex wants to know, what's the deal with black people and the word "ask"? Don't they have Google? When did I become the white whisperer? Since you very consciously seized on the opportunity to maintain a cult following of white girls.
Oh, right.
Story of my life.
How could I forget? Hey, somebody's gotta keep the peace around here.
If not Saint Coco, then who? But if you benefit from racism, you are a racist.
The platform is to talk about serious stuff, but my segment producers don't really want that.
Ah, I see what you're doing here.
- Yeah.
- I see it.
That's great.
It's a great tactic to, you know, pass the buck, and it's definitely worked for people throughout all of history.
Can you believe this is the guy Sam wants to bring to Winchester? Carson Rhodes? I mean, he is woke as fuck.
I follow you on Twitter, and you speak of the ills of the world.
You could do the same thing on your show.
But isn't this campus polarized enough? I mean, BSU can do what it wants, but somebody's gotta keep the peace.
Since Troy is unreliable and James is unremarkable, that leaves me.
Hopefully, it'll pay off.
It will.
Pegasus has eyes everywhere.
Come on.
Either we get in or we don't.
- It's no big deal, right? - Are you kidding? We could be the first women admitted to Pegasus.
You can't buy that kind of notoriety.
Well, you could.
If I get in, I'll be a senator by the time I'm 30.
Otherwise, my best hope is the House of Representatives, and I don't do well with underachievers.
As a white person, what can I do? Do I watch more BET? 'Cause I am down.
I love that show.
Okay, so I know you're more of a traditionalist, and I'm more of a modernist, but I really thought that a transitional look would make this feel like home for both of us.
Are you open? I think it's chic and elegant, and frankly, it's the only thing keeping my mind off of Sorbet and that racist dognapper.
You know what? I bet that whoever stole Sorbet set the fire at Davis.
Classic Reichstag situation, don't you think? - Good night.
- Good night? Why aren't you antagonizing my aesthetic choices? What's wrong with you? Are you consta'? Did you get a B-plus on your structural leadership exam? Did you have a weird sex dream about Steve Harvey? Oh, are you sensitive to planetary alignment? Pregnant? Did the dean cancel your weekly meeting? Oh, I can't believe the dean's hubris.
Wait.
You are pregnant.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- You hate red licorice.
You said it tastes like plastic bananas.
Why are you looking at the trash can? I'm not looking at the trash can.
Who's looking at the trash can? Wow.
Wow, wow, wow, wow! Those things are only 99.
9% accurate.
Coco! How did this happen? Sex.
Sex is how this happened.
But you seem so uptight and regimented and nakedly ambitious.
I expect that you would use two condoms and a NuvaRing.
I know I present like a sexy robot, but I have flaws, okay? I fell for a guy who's hot and well-connected and eats the booty like high-end groceries.
- High-end? - He savors every bite.
Hole Foods.
I got caught up.
You use a condom every time you have sex? Never.
Oh, I got it.
You took the W off, like "Booty-Hole Foods.
" You really should use condoms.
I'm a lesbian, love.
Gold star.
- Kelsey, are you coming out to me? - Oh, God, no.
I've been out ever since Queen Janet's wardrobe malfunction.
You're just so self-absorbed that the only time you listen to anyone else talk - is when you're preparing a counterargument.
- That's not true.
First of all It's not totally your fault.
Narcissism has a genetic component.
But we can break the cycle.
Mounting research shows that in the battle between nature and nurture Stop it! I don't have the bandwidth for any of this.
Between CORE and exams and getting into Pegasus, humiliating James and playing white whisperer, - I just - Honey, if you don't deal with it, it's going to deal with you.
Have you talked to anyone about this? Your mom? Are you gonna tell Troy? Come in.
What is all of this? Like you care.
My reputation's on the line.
I spent weeks dating you.
Reps are overrated.
See, I left mine in that broken window of Hancock Hall and I feel fantastic.
You feel like feeling fantastic with me? Troy, I've been debating whether or not to tell you something, and the more I think about it, the more I know I have to.
Um Troy, I need you to officially resign from CORE.
What? James has been really feeling himself in your absence, and I am dangerously close to punching him in the cock.
- Okay.
- Okay.
That's what you came here for? Yes.
Definitely that and nothing else.
It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that Troy has abdicated his responsibility to CORE.
Yes! Ugh! Yes, that is sad.
Accordingly, we will need someone smart, responsible, and not annoying to fill his shoes.
Obviously, that person should be me.
I mean "I.
" That sounds weird, but it's grammatically correct.
- So - Show of hands for everyone in favor of upholding the bylaws of our respected organization, which dictate that I be CORE's new chair.
- Excuse me.
- Lionel, not everything - is a story.
- Actually, I just wanted - to get your comment - Not now.
- AltIvy's threatening - Scat! All right! Show of hands.
All in favor of CORE's continued direct access to the administration by way of Dean Fairbanks, who knows me, as well as access to my network of alums who have the hookup with internships all over the world: Sotheby's, the World Bank, Goldman, Roc Nation.
Now that that's settled, James write this down.
Jesus! Don't you ever go to class? Only on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which really works out because Monday, Wednesday and every third Friday, I hone my decorating skills.
Granted, having 14-hour classes two days a week back-to-back is like Chinese water torture.
You know, it's crazy.
Okay, got it.
Someone's salty.
I know what you need.
Here.
Poison.
You brewed me poison.
No, silly, it's a traditional Caribbean drink.
Ginger, sorrel and callaloo juice.
It's good for the nausea and the gas.
- Drink up.
- I don't have nausea or gas.
My bed's three feet away, and I'm a light sleeper with a keen sense of smell.
Drink up.
- Kelsey? - Mm-hmm? I think this is a good time to let you know I'm strictly dickly.
Don't flatter yourself, love.
Trinis just consider this a very delicate time for a woman.
No drama, no stress and no bathing in the sea on Good Friday.
I'm not in any sea-related danger.
Not yet.
So since your nose is already starting to spread across your face, I think the baby will be a girl.
You should name her after me.
Kelsey it's elegant yet full of play.
It's a great name for a boy, too.
You know, like Kelsey Grammer.
How did we not get in? We did everything right.
We got invited to all of their parties.
It's like, "Don't snap my thong unless you wanna screw.
" Do you know anyone who got in? Yeah, that's not exactly how these clubs work.
You know what? Fuck Pegasus.
We don't need them.
Maybe you don't.
Your father's a Fortune 500 CEO.
Yeah, well, there's still the patriarchy, you know? My health care decisions are also under assault from half the country, and the gender wage gap affects me, too.
Cute bag.
Michael Kors? Hermès.
What the fuck? AltIvyW has posted leaked emails between the head of the Black Student Union and the Coalition of Racial Equality.
Anti-white.
And finally we have proof these so-called inclusion groups just want to divide us.
Read the email, Dave.
This is between Samantha White and her minion Coco.
Coco says, "Sam, I agree with yo' plan.
I'll keep people busy inside while you create a distraction outside.
Maybe Troy breaks a window.
" "Coco, perfect.
Then Black AF will go over and burn Davis to the ground and stick it to those whities.
" Did you write this or not? This is not how a CORE leader behaves.
I move that we immediately James, please.
When did this air? Yesterday.
The podcast hit this morning.
I tried to tell you, but then you made me scat.
James, please.
Of course I didn't write that email.
One, it doesn't capture the nuances of my voice.
Two, I'm no one's minion, least of all Sam's.
I kind of like that part.
But the rest of it what would we even have to gain by setting Davis House on fire? Or by bringing the word "whitey" back? See, this is fucked up.
If I had known we'd get blamed for burning down Davis House, I would have burned down Davis House.
I'm telling you, man, there's a cover-up afoot.
I've been saying it from jump.
The Bugle just ran with this bullshit.
This must be why I didn't get tapped.
Coco, things are spiraling.
I really wish that we were the ones who could figure out how to get this place back together, but we need outside help.
That's right.
CORE should bring Carson Rhodes to Winchester.
Wait, why CORE? James, please.
Why CORE? It's the only group in Black Caucus with enough funds.
Or any funds.
Things are getting really weird around here.
I was in the shower, and I heard someone whistling "I Wish I Was in Dixie.
" And I was equal parts scarred and scared.
But is it really a good idea to fight fire with fire? Isn't Carson Rhodes anti-police? No, he's anti-police shooting black teenagers.
What a controversial opinion.
To be fair, that is people's perception of him.
I know what I would do if I were president.
Co, girl-to-girl, you do realize that the only people you're listening to are your white friends.
You are head of one of the most powerful student groups on campus now.
You can't be neutral on a moving train.
This is what you wanted.
What's your decision? With the climate the way it is, I can't have civil unrest going down on my watch.
You know what? Fuck CORE.
Okay, Coco, look, I think that this would be a good opportunity for the entire Black Caucus to come together.
That's interesting, because a second ago, Sam just said, "Fuck CORE.
" Didn't I hear that? James, please read the minutes - where Sam said, "Fuck CORE.
" - Sam says, "Fuck CORE.
" Does Coco give you your balls back after these meetings, or does she just hang on to 'em? As head of CORE, you'll be interfacing with Carson, doing press with major news outlets.
This could go a long way in increasing CORE's national profile.
- Your profile.
- And it's the, you know right thing to do.
Unless CORE has some better idea to combat this crap.
Email me the numbers.
I'll consider it.
I've got to run to class.
James, no decision making.
- Yes, ma'am.
- So she does hang on to 'em.
Listen.
Hey! Hey, uh, Coco? Coco? Coco? Coco! Okay, I just mean, like, you've been really mean er lately, and I just What did I do to you? Cool.
Oh.
I didn't realize you'd be home so soon.
You need more tea.
It'll help with the bloating and the back pain and the itchiness.
Kelsey Kelsey, I'm scared.
Do you know what the options are for something like this? Either I have some stranger literally suck the life out of me or I go home with a pill to face the worst possible thing I can imagine alone.
You're not alone.
And those are not your only options.
Part of me thinks maybe I should.
My mom did.
And you're mostly okay.
Then I'll be a 20-year-old college dropout.
What kind of life could I give a child? Well, Troy could help, right? Troy Fairbanks, the drug-addled rebel without a cause.
Yeah, him.
I came here to take everything the world denied my mother and dared to deny me.
What could I even give to a full human? You'd be surprised.
It can be a relief to not be so focused on yourself.
You know? To actually care for something or someone else.
At least we're not having this discussion in Texas.
- Or Kentucky.
- Or Missouri.
- Or Virginia.
- Or Utah.
Or South Dakota.
I really am needed on Capitol Hill.
Desperately.
Having a choice doesn't make that choice any easier to make.
As much as I'm not the girl who just ups and has a baby, I'm also not the girl who just Well, no matter what you decide I'm the girl who'll be there for you every step of the way, no matter what.
Is this new? No.
I just washed it.
Oh.
Kelsey fuck this.
I want to leave.
Okay.
Are you sure? Yes, please.
Fuck.
All right.
It's okay.
My dad's gonna freak out, but Fuck! Troy I mean, it's, um What if he cuts me off? All right? But he wouldn't.
He loves you, and he likes me.
- Troy - It's gonna be okay, Coco.
Okay, we can get through this.
I mean, maybe we get an apartment off campus, - or we could - Troy! You're not in a place where you can help me right now, but you need to be.
So get your shit together.
Damn.
You weren't even gonna say goodbye? Do you really have to leave? I can't do this here.
I'm gonna miss you.
Yeah, you will.
Thanks.
Mom, it's here! Well, open it.
- Okay, okay.
- Open it.
"We regret to inform you we've reached our quota" for sexy, bad bitches.
Penelope Connors-Fairbanks! We knew I was getting in.
I'm legacy.
You didn't get in because of that.
You got a 4.
7, perfect SAT scores, you ski, you volunteer, and you're an intersectional feminist who seamlessly uses the word "Lilliputian" in conversation.
You deserve to be there.
If this is your way of getting me to say something nice about you I'm just saying.
You didn't just get into Winchester.
You got into every college you applied to.
But you're going to Winchester.
Wow.
Just like we left it, huh? This place used to mean the world to me.
How's Natalie? Natasha.
She's great.
We're having a boy.
Lord, just what we need.
Penelope.
You forgot your toiletry bag.
I can just run to the store.
Just beam it to me.
Oh, right, I forgot that's a that's a thing you can do now.
You just wanted to hug me again.
So what if I did? You don't have to worry about me.
Of course I do.
I'll worry about you until the day I die.
The experiences you'll have, the opportunities.
And it won't always be easy.
You'll make mistakes.
You'll have a lot of tough choices to make, but don't let that stop you from striving.
Coco.
And no matter what happens, remember this: you have a right to be here just like everybody else.
You make your mark at Winchester, and the world will be at your feet.
- Okay, Mom.
- The Senate - Love you.
- the White House.
The sky is too limiting for what you're about to do, my sweet, sweet girl.
Coco Connors.
Is Coco Connors here? What do you wanna do? Right here.