Dinosaucers (1987) s01e02 Episode Script

Take Us Out to the Ball Game

1
PAUL: We used to be
four ordinary teenagers.
Until one day,
we met some new
friends from out of town.
They were called Dinosaucers.
My friends and I became
the Secret Scouts,
allies to these Dinosaucers
from outer space
and joined in their battles against
Genghis Rex and the evil Tyrannos.
The Dinosaucers are
leaving, bossasaur.
Well, follow them!
[CAMERA CLICKS]
[GROWLING]
Dinosaucers
RYAN: It's a great day for
something, but I don't know what!
Yeah. At least the Tyrannos
have been quiet lately.
BRONTO: Oh,
no! This is terrible!
Maybe you spoke too soon!
[EXCLAIMS]
Oh!
Sara! Ryan! Thank
the egg you're here!
What's the matter?
Earth is at war!
I came in to watch some Earth TV,
and found this strange battle going on!
Yeah, right.
All the creatures on Earth
seems to be at war with each other!
RYAN: At a baseball game?
They talk about it all
the time on your TV!
Cardinals are battling Orioles
and Pirates are beating Indians.
And in what I think
is a very unfair fight,
Tigers are crushing Blue Jays.
[LAUGHS] No! You
got it all wrong, pal.
I can explain everything.
Yeah? Can you explain how
two pairs of socks can
be fighting each other?
Let me guess. The Red Sox
were battling the White Sox?
See! Even Sara heard it!
[LAUGHING] Come on, big fella,
let's round up the other Dinosaucers.
We're gonna show you what
Earth's baseball is all about!
Well, okay.
But I refuse to crush any
of those poor little Blue Jays!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
GENGHIS: Of course the
Dinosaucers keep defeating us!
They have Earth partners.
The Secret Scouts!
We Tyrannos have
no allies on this planet!
So how can we get some?
By amassing great wealth.
Then we can hire ourselves
an army of mercenary Earthlings.
Ankylo!
Your most loyal, obedient
nodosaur at your service,
oh, great Genghis Rex!
- Oh, brother! Give me a break!
- GENGHIS: Silence!
Ankylo, I ordered you to find
out what is the most valuable thing
on this horrid little planet.
Yes, sir! After
extensive research,
I found that the one thing
mammals value the most is
[GRUNTS] Diamonds!
ANNOUNCER: So, the battle between
The Tigers and Blue Jays still raging.
Meanwhile, here
at the Astrodome,
home of the world's
largest Diamond
This diamond must be
very important. What is it?
Uh. I don't really know
for sure. [SNORTS]
You don't know?
[STUTTERING] But, I did find a
reference to the world's largest diamond!
And I know where it is!
Excellent.
We will leave at once.
Everyone, to the mother ship.
And Ankylo
Ankylo Yes, Rex?
There better not
be any foul-ups.
Or else!
Yes, sir! [SNORTS]
Yes, sir! What you
said, right away.
[RUMBLING]
I'm putting up the
invisibility shield.
Now, we won't be spotted.
Yeah, but how can we play this
baseball war game without being seen?
RYAN: Because we're going to
play in the Houston Astrodome.
It's surrounded by a dome. So,
that'll keep any nosy people out.
Hang on. We're setting down.
We're already over the
Earth's state of Texas.
Where is the biggest
diamond of all?
According to my
calculations [SNORTS]
We should be there
in a matter of minutes.
You mean we're lost again?
No! No! Not lost exactly.
I mean A little Well,
we're sort of very lost.
Attention, crew.
Thanks to our
extinct-brained navigator,
we must stop and ask directions.
Take the ship down at the
next re-fuelling station we pass.
MAN: Yep, Tom.
Everything that grows in Texas
grows bigger than anyplace else.
Even way out here in
the desert, stuff's bigger.
Our cacti, our bugs
[STAMMERS] Even our lizards!
GENGHIS: You puny mammal!
Tell us how to get to Houston!
- [STAMMERING]
- [SCREAMING]
ANKYLO: What are
those creatures doing?
Not showing the way to the
world's largest diamond, that's what.
Diamonds? This
here is gold country.
But, we came here for a diamond.
Diamonds are for sissies.
Finding gold is man's work.
But Rex, we are not men.
No, but we are
not sissies either.
Where can we find this gold?
This metal dictator
will find it for you.
Give it to me.
Ooh, let's do this civilized.
How much you got?
Forty-eight Earth dollars
and 32 cents. [GRUNTS]
This is your lucky day.
Gentle, uh, finds
Because that's exactly
what this fine piece of
equipment will cost you.
Poor sorry critters.
- It's almost crime to cheat them.
- [RUMBLING]
RYAN: Okay, Dinosaucers!
You're about to learn
how to play baseball!
First, this is a baseball glove.
Everyone take your glove and
put it on the hand you catch with.
Or claw.
[GRUNTS] Ah!
Ah, ah, ah.
I don't think this is
gonna work very well.
All right. Forget the gloves!
Sara, read off the
assign positions.
Everyone take your place on
the field when she calls your name!
- Allo at first base
- Right.
Hey, I guess that makes
me a First Base-A-Don.
Ichy at second.
A Second
Base-A-Saurus, of course!
Dimetro at shortstop.
[CHUCKLES] Let me guess
I'm a Short-Stop-A-Tops?
Tricero is catching.
That makes me
the Catch-Er-Dactyl.
Paul's at third base,
David's pitching,
Ryan's coaching,
and I'm in right.
And then Teryx is in center,
and Bonehead is left out.
[SOBBING]
Bonehead, what's the matter?
I know I'm not as strong or
fast as the other Dinosaucers,
but I just hate being left out!
No, silly! "Left out"
means left outfield.
Of course you're playing!
Huh? I am?
That's great!
Okay, everybody,
let's play ball.
Stego, you're up first.
Which bat did you choose?
Well, they all felt
light to me, Ryan.
I'd rather just use my tail.
Whoa! Did I hit it?
Where did it go?
It went to baseball
heaven! You spiked it!
Relax, David. There's lots
more where that came from.
I got it! Secret
scouts ring, power up.
You are out.
Never mind first
base, you're out!
And never mind home
either, you smashed it!
I'm sorry!
It's okay. But where are
we gonna find another one?
I'll be home plate.
I've got plenty
of plates to spare.
[BIRD CAWING]
GENGHIS: This was a
terrible idea, you had, Ankylo.
You are right, bossasaurus.
I promise, I'll
never do it again.
[BEEPING]
We found something.
This was the best
idea I ever had.
Dig it up.
I found it.
What have we found?
I don't know if it's gold.
But, there sure is a lot of it.
GENGHIS: Well, bring it up.
If it's valuable, the Dinosaucers
won't stand a chance.
Play ball, Ryan.
I bet home plate never
tucked back to Reggie Jackson.
Okay, I'm up.
Everybody watch and
I'll show you how it's done.
I've got it! I've got it!
Oh! Boy, did I get it!
Dimetro! Get it to first.
You are out.
Okay, who's up next?
Hit it right to me!
Easy out! Uh-oh.
- Whoops.
- [ALL CHEERING]
Scouts ring. Power up.
Watch this slide, everyone!
Slide?
[EXCLAIMS]
Out.
MAN: Well, this stuff's pretty.
But, while you were gone, you all
missed out on the deal of the century.
Deal? What deal?
The greatest real-estate
deal of all time.
But, I've got this other buyer.
We'll offer you more.
More money?
We're out of money.
But, we must have this so
called greatest real-estate deal.
Well, seeing as how
we've done business before,
I'll take this stuff
off your hands.
And you get this.
A piece of paper?
That's a deed, son.
You are now the proud owner
of the Brooklyn Bridge.
ANKYLO: [GRUNTS] But how
do we get it back to the Tar Pits?
GENGHIS: I'm beginning to think
that this mammal is pulling our tails.
[STAMMERS] You didn't
say you wanted it to go.
Enough of this!
We came to get the world's
largest diamond. Where is it?
Diamond?
Well, I have this map.
Will that show us the
way to the Astrodome?
You're looking for the
diamond in Astrodome?
Oh, son, why didn't you tell me?
GENGHIS: Well,
here's the Astrodome.
Now, show me the
world's largest diamond.
It should be right down there.
I'll turn on the X-Ray Eye!
See? There it is. The
world's biggest diamond!
That looks like dirt. These
creatures pay each other in dirt?
They're stupider than I thought!
But no matter. It must
be special, valuable dirt.
The Dinosaucers are
down there guarding it!
We're going to trap
them in that Astrodome
and shoot the whole
thing to the Earth's moon.
They and their tame mammals
will be prisoners there
Forever! [WICKED LAUGHTER]
- Wow.
- All right! Nice game!
Teryx, are you okay?
That high flying left me with a
few ruffled feathers, but I'm all right.
Great game, Allo.
Your Dinosaucers really got
the hang of baseball quickly.
Hey, Ryan, didn't you arrange
for us to play another group?
RYAN: No, why?
Because the visiting
team just arrived.
Bronto saw us.
Of course he's a Brontosaurus.
But, has he seen us?
Then we must make our move now!
Yes. Oh, great lizard.
Cover them!
Let's strike by the Torranos.
And the Dinosaucers are out.
Genghis Rex! You've
certainly journeyed a long way.
Don't flatter yourself, Allo.
We're here for the
diamond you're protecting.
Diamond? What diamond?
Don't play act with me,
or we'll let you have it
with our Bazookasauruses.
What does a Bazookasaurus do?
It shoots a ball that's
innocent enough,
but if it touches your flesh,
you'll never move again!
Oh, I get it. Sort of like
Freeze Tag, only permanent.
What are you talking about?
The biggest one, of course!
This baseball diamond.
And no funny business!
[ALL LAUGHING]
Baseball diamonds aren't
the same things as diamonds!
They're playing fields!
The valuable diamonds
are little clear rocks!
Ankylo, when we get home,
you're going to be cleaning
out the Tar Pits with a toothbrush
for the rest of your life!
But you, Allo,
won't be that lucky!
We've rigged the entire
Astrodome with rockets.
Once we freeze you with our
Bazookasaurus freeze balls,
you and this stadium
are going to the Moon!
He can't do something
like that, can he?
I'm afraid he can.
Enough talk! Prepare
to fire on my order!
Ryan, David. The Tyrannos
don't know anything about
your planet's game of baseball.
Right!
We'll use baseball strategy
to beat these creepadons!
Goodbye and good riddance,
my noble adversaries!
Fire!
Watch out!
[ALL LAUGHING]
I'm sure glad I made you
teach us how to play baseball!
You made us?
This will take some of
the laughs out of you!
Wanna bet?
Way to go, team! Radical.
Ryan, get down!
The freeze balls
won't affect my feather.
Thanks for the
helping claw, Teryx!
Don't mention it, Ryan.
After all, everyone
ought to have a ball!
Help! Help!
The sky is falling!
Tyrannos! Fire two!
[EXCLAIMS] Cut it out! Stop!
Now charge them, Dinosaucers!
They must be crazy, charging
directly into our Bazookasaurus fire!
Now, what does it mean, Rex?
It means instant immobilization
of those dumb Dinosaucers.
Don't fire until you see
the green of their eyes!
Fire!
We've played your
game long enough.
Now, you'll play one of mine.
It's called a one
way trip to the moon.
For all of you, and
your silly dirt, too.
You wouldn't dare.
I think he would.
Not if I can help it.
Well, you can't.
That's right.
Ah, you little Dinosaucers.
We may be behind this inning,
but we haven't lost the game.
Come on, team, let's
get that remote control.
What are you doing?
Give up. You've lost.
[LAUGHING]
They don't look very
lost to me, bossasaur.
Where is everybody going?
Hey! [GRUNTS]
Oh, that's where they
are going. [LAUGHING]
Wait for me.
Here, team pass
over. Give it to me.
A ground out won't do it.
This score is for a line dry.
- I've got you!
- [GRUNTS]
Hey, baseball's
not a contact sport.
- I've got it.
- No, you don't I've got it.
- Oops.
- Hey, hey.
I got it, I got it.
I don't got it.
Here it is, and here it goes.
RYAN: Yay, Bronto-Thunder.
A perfect pop fly.
No runs, no hits, just errors.
There it goes, get it.
[CRASHING]
Save.
Man! It'll take them a long, long
time to dig out of that dug-out.
Hey, this baseball
really is fun!
How about one more
game, everyone?
[LAUGHING] I think
you've created a monster.
Well, you guys, how about it?
[ALL LAUGHING]
Dinosaucers
Dinosaucers
Previous EpisodeNext Episode