Dinosaucers (1987) s01e29 Episode Script

The Bone Ranger and Bronto

1
RYAN: We used to be
four ordinary teenagers.
Until one day,
we met some new
friends from out of town.
They were called Dinosaucers.
My friends and I became
the Secret Scouts,
allies to these Dinosaucers
from outer space
and joined in their battles against
Genghis Rex and the evil Tyrannos.
[ROARING]
The Dinosaucers are
leaving, bossasaur. [SNORTS]
Well, follow them!
Dinosaucers [ALL ROARING]
Dinosaucers [ROARING]
See, isn't this the best way to
spend a lazy Sunday afternoon?
Yeah, it's an old American
customer, right, Sarah?
[LAUGHS] That's "custom," Boney.
This part of the paper
doesn't have any pictures.
[LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
Bonehead, ever think of
saying the magic word?
Uh Hey, what magic word?
Please!
Please? That's short for
Plesio and he's a Tyranno.
How can that be
magic? [LAUGHING]
Teryx, stop swinging.
I can't concentrate.
I think you should
concentrate on this, Allo.
Hmm, it says here that the
owner of a Wild West show
has dug up a new kind of
dinosaur skeleton in Arizona.
Finius T. Hogswaller of Arizona
claims that this is the missing link
between dinosaurs and humans.
That's scientifically
impossible.
Well, maybe.
But we should go and take
a look at this thing anyway.
As Horasaurus Greeley once said,
"Go west, young Dinosaucers."
DINOSAUCERS: Yippee!
Oh, now I've done it.
Done what, Allo?
We had a Wild West
back on Reptilon, too.
Wow! Tell us what it was like.
TERYX: Wonderful! Those were the
days of tumbleweeds and rattle lizards.
The days of Dinosaucer sheriffs,
and Tyranno rustlers
and bank robbers.
Yee-haw!
Hey! Hey!
Take that,
Jessesaurus James, oh!
The Bone Ranger.
[CHUCKLES]
Bonehead and Bronto Thunder
are even worse than Teryx.
Their favorite characters are
BRONTO: Wait for
me, Kemosabesaurus.
[BONEHEAD GRUNTING]
Don't tell me. That must be the Bone
Ranger's faithful companion, Bronto.
Reckon so, partner.
Oh, what a Mesozoic mess.
You set American
legend back eons.
Well, next stop, Arizona.
[DINOSAUCERS GROAN]
Bossasaurus, [SNORTS]
you're not gonna believe this.
Watch out, Ankylo, I
was flossing my fangs.
Just the kind of smile
you'd expect from a leader.
Sorry, Rex, but this article is
really important. [SNORTING]
Well, then, give it to me.
Mmm, Wild West show.
Hogswaller. New dinosaur.
Missing link.
Why, this looks like a
Super Craniosaurus.
Why didn't you tell me
about this yesterday?
Because it's today's paper,
bossasaur. [SNORTS]
Legends say that the skull
of the Super Craniosaurus
could magnify your brain power.
Brilliant, your scaliness!
If we can get it, we can out think those
Dinosaucers and take over Earth. [SNORTS]
And maybe I can teach one of you
to play a decent
game of Jurassic chess.
Listen up, Tyrannos,
the Bat Masterdon
Gang rides again!
Yahoo! It's Arizona or bust!
[SNORTING]
Oh, I think Allo's
brakes need adjusting.
Well, unfortunately, the nearest dino
repair shop is 186 million miles away.
Just like Reptilon used to be.
- [LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
- Sounds like a rodeo going on.
They ain't seen nothing till they've seen
the Bone Ranger do his stuff. Come on.
Let's try and
keep a low profile.
[CHEERING]
Look, guys, alligator
rides, just like back home!
Um, I don't guess they've got
change for dino dollars, do they, Sarah?
SARAH: That's okay.
Drinks are on me.
I need six dino colas, two
regular and four mammoth gulps.
Howdy there, partner.
They work out and
take a lot of vitamins.
[CROWD CHEERING]
I love rodeos!
Look. There's the dino exhibit.
Ladies and gentlemen,
children of the dinosaurs,
if you will look
this way, please.
My name is Finius T. Hogswaller,
and I have made the
scientific find of the century.
Behold!
Golly. Looks just like that dinosaur
comedian on Reptilon. Red Skeleton.
FINIUS: The missing link.
By the great egg! It's
Yes, the pallid
paleontologists scoff.
They won't even come and look.
You recognize that dino?
It looks like a legendary
Super Craniosaurus.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
- [EXCLAIMING] - It was
never this easy back on Reptilon.
Yeah, but we hogtied
Tyrannos there, not mammals.
[CHEERING]
You think we'll
get a prize for this?
I think we're gonna
get something.
[GULPS]
Pardon me, Mr. Hogswaller.
That's Professor
Hogswaller, my good fellow.
What can I do for you?
We'd like to have another
look at your missing dino link.
Certainly.
Yes, I'm certain, the
fabled Super Craniosaurus.
Uh, my friends
are paleontologists.
They study dino fossils.
They like dinosaurs so much,
they, uh, dress up like them.
[LAUGHING] Okay. Well, come
up here by all means, gentle folk.
Where did you say you
found these bones, Professor?
The Old Dutchman Gold Mine,
about 10 miles from Parched Gulch.
I see. Any more
bones like these?
Oh, scads!
Um, gentle folk, I find myself
in an embarrassing situation
with the bank holding
the mortgage on the show.
I hoped that Linky here would
help me come up with money,
but so far, no luck.
Would you folks bring her a
[LAUGHS] research grant?
SARAH: Would three quarters
and an Indianhead nickel help?
- [PUNCHES LANDING]
- [GRUNTING]
Looks like the Bone Ranger and
Bronto have rustled up some trouble.
Oh, I never should
have left them alone.
Pardon us, Professor,
we'll be right back.
Uh REX: Psst! Professor,
may I introduce you to the
Tyranno Credit Company,
here to save your show.
Oh, really?
Oh, I appreciate that.
[INDISTINCT CLAMOR]
Oh, no. What happened?
I don't think the cowpokes
liked our rodeo exhibition.
Hi, guys. Thanks
for finding our friends.
Yeah, can you believe chicken
pox made them look like that?
ALL: Huh?
[LAUGHING]
MAN 1: Let's go! MAN
2: Ah, let me out of here!
Now, will you two please
try to stay out of trouble?
Yikes!
Genghis Rex!
That's right, Dino
Suckers and Secret Louts.
Now, you varmints get
ready for a trip to Boot Hill.
Reach for the sky,
buckaroonadons.
The Bone Ranger
will handle this.
Let's go, Bronto.
BOTH: Yee-haw!
No, don't!
BOTH: Yahoo!
[LAUGHING] Sitting dino ducks.
[BOTH YELL]
Ya! Rolling bones!
Rex is getting away with the
Craniosaurus and the Professor.
Oh, dino drat!
We can't get past.
So much for the Bone
Ranger and Bronto.
Will they be okay?
Yes, but they'll be
fossilized for at least an hour.
Well, they'll stay out of trouble
while we go after Genghis Rex.
So, let's get going.
Where to?
The Old Dutchman Gold Mine.
Rex will want the rest of
the Craniosaurus bones.
My, you paleontologists
certainly are strange-looking.
No one calls Kid Ankylo
strange, partner. [SNORTS]
Stay cool, kid.
Bang! Bang!
Bang!
Aah!
Hey, you shot me in the
back! [SNORTS] Coward!
Now, about the mortgage.
We'd be happy to give you money
if you tell us where
you found that.
Why, certainly. The
Old Dutchman Mine.
Excellent! Brachio, get off
your bones and set a course.
Right away, bossasaur.
[LAUGHING]
Wait till I get my claws
on the rest of those bones.
Allo, just what are Craniosaurs?
They're creatures of
Reptilon mythology, Sarah.
ALLO: In ancient times, on
a certain island on Reptilon,
a meteor crashed,
affecting the dinos strangely.
It made them brilliant.
[IN GERMAN ACCENT]
E equals MC-squared.
Jawohl, that is it, ja?
A similar meteor might
have hit Earth eons ago.
So, Genghis Rex believes he can
somehow increase his intelligence
by using Hogswaller's skulls.
Yeah, and raise the
Tyranno IQ to chop suey level.
If these are Craniosaur skulls,
we can't let the Tyrannos get them.
Our goosasaurus will be cooked.
Whoa! Did you get the number
of the ultrasaurus that hit us?
Come on, we have to get
to the Old Dutchman Mine.
The others might need our help.
Could we borrow your motorbike?
Depends on who's asking.
The Bone Ranger and
his faithful sidekick, Bronto.
The Bone Ranger and Bronto!
Why, of course you
can use the chopper!
Thank you, little lady.
We're off to stop the
Bat Masterdon Gang.
Go get 'em, guys!
Huh?
There it is, the Old
Dutchman Mine.
It's terribly dark in there
and it looks dangerous.
[ECHOING] Hello! Anybody there?
Sarah, you'd better stay
here and be our lookout.
You mean looker, don't you?
Just stay here and
watch for Tyrannos, Sarah.
TERYX: Look, there's
an opening up ahead.
This is the place, all right.
ALLO: Yeah, but it looks
like Genghis Rex got here first.
Someone's in
the kitchen with dino
Someone's in
the kitchen, I know
Someone's in
the kitchen with dino
Probably a Tyranno
[SCREAMING]
Oh, Sarah!
Are you okay, Sarah?
I'm okay, but
We're trapped.
Genghis Rex
definitely got here first.
I've finally gotten those
Dinosaucers out of the way.
Yeah, Bat. [SNORTS]
I mean, your sauriness.
And we've got the Super
Craniosaurus skulls, too.
Nothing stands between
us and conquest of the Earth.
Why am I beginning to
feel that these guys got their
paleontology degrees
from Monster Movie U?
Silence, mammal!
But what about refinancing the
mortgage like you critters promised?
We're foreclosing on the whole
planet, partner. [SNORTING]
Villains! Scoundrels!
Is there no one to save the day?
BONEHEAD: Never fear!
Whoa!
[BONEHEAD LAUGHING]
The Bone Ranger's here!
You tell 'em, Kemosabesaurus.
Turn these fakasaurus's
into dino dust, guys.
[GRUNTING]
Yahoo!
[YELLS]
What?
Ooh!
Watch out! Here
come the Dinosaucers!
Yee-haw!
Missed us!
[EXCLAIMS MOCKINGLY]
[GASPS]
[SCREAMING]
[ALL SCREAMING]
I guess this is the last
roundup for you, Bat Masterdon.
Right on, Kemosabesaurus.
[RUMBLING]
Good show, guys.
Devolving into an allosaurus only
shows that you're scared of me, Allo,
as well you should be.
[GUN FIRES]
[SCREAMING]
Jumping Jurassic!
You paleontologists really take this
dinosaur stuff seriously, don't you?
Yeah, they really throw
themselves into their work.
What about Rex?
Oh, don't worry. He'll
be okay any minute now.
You're all my guests.
Dino drinks are on me.
RYAN: Hot dog! SARAH: Whopee!
[SCREAMS]
- Huh?
- [ROARS]
Joe Bob, I think you better put a
lot more of them steaks on the grill.
This one looks mighty hungry.
[ROARS]
Hey!
[PANTING]
These craniums are too
small to be from Craniosaurs.
Actually, I stuck together two
skulls to make my missing link.
I was hoping that it
would save my show.
Oh!
Well, I found a few of these
while digging out the mine.
My stars and garters!
There should be enough gold here to
pay off the mortgage and then some.
Yahoo!
Thanks!
Hey, he left me
this silver fossil, too.
Who was that masked monster?
That was no monster. That
was the Bone Ranger and Bronto!
Hi-ho, silversaurus! Away!
BOTH: Yee-haw!
Dinosaucers
Dinosaucers
Previous EpisodeNext Episode