Dinosaucers (1987) s01e49 Episode Script
Reduced for Clarence
1
NARRATOR: We used to
be four ordinary teenagers.
Until one day,
we met some new
friends from out of town.
Dinosaucers ♪
They were called Dinosaucers.
My friends and I became
the Secret Scouts,
allies to these Dinosaucers
from outer space,
and joined in their battles
against Ghengis Rex
and the evil Tyrannos.
[REX ROARS]
The Dinosaucers are
leaving, bossasaur.
Well, follow them!
Dinosaucers ♪
[ALL GROWLING]
Dinosaucers ♪
[GROWLING]
[♪♪♪]
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
come and see the
greatest show on Earth.
From the four
corners of the globe
we have gathered under one tent
the greatest group of
circus folks and animal acts
ever seen.
So come to the circus today.
Quackpot, what are you doing?
Aah!
Uh, my job, Ghengis Rex.
Your job is to scan frequencies
for Dinosaucer messages
and report on any
unusual human activities.
Quack. Yes. And a circus
is an unusual human activity.
A circus? What is a circus?
I don't know, heh.
But they gather
animals and people
from the four
corners of the Earth
and put them in a tent.
We could study
them all together, heh.
Very interesting.
Earth doesn't have four corners.
It's round.
Maybe there are some
shape altering principles
at this circus.
We will go to the circus today!
[ORGAN PLAYING CIRCUS MUSIC]
VENDOR: Cotton
candy, popcorn, candy.
Cotton candy, popcorn, candy.
Candy out of cotton?
Corn that pops.
Ooh, sounds awful.
Let's split up
for a closer look.
[♪♪♪]
ALLO: I'm glad you were able
to get tickets to the circus, Ryan.
RYAN: It was a cinch.
My dad's corporation offers him
his private box
seats every year.
I always wanted to see a circus.
And the private box means
you won't need to worry
about your disguises
once we're inside the tent.
Ah, it will be nice not
to worry about anything
for a couple of hours.
I hope we have no problems.
Relax, Allo, no one has
problems at the circus.
RYAN: It's been an earth
tradition for fun for over 2000 years.
[♪♪♪]
A perfect observation post.
A ringside seat.
Hey, Barry, I love
your new outfit,
but you know, you
smell like worms.
Quack, what's wrong
with worms, huh?
Well, Allo, what do
you think of the circus?
Amazing.
I never knew there were humans
with purple hair and red noses.
Heh, there aren't.
Those are clowns.
Clowns are ordinary people
who wear makeup and wigs
and have the job of
making people laugh.
I think I like clowns.
My favorite act
is the lion tamer.
He's coming out now.
Look, Teryx, the ringmaster
will announce him.
Presenting the world-famous
lion tamer, Ludmar the Great!
[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
[GROWLING]
[CROWD CHEERING]
How brave that human is to
enter a cage with wild lions.
They're not wild,
Allo, they're tame.
Trained to roar and look
mean but they're really not.
TERYX: I never
would have guessed.
Rex, do you see the lion tamer?
Yes, I do.
I like the way that
human bosses the lions.
It reminds me of how
I'd like to rule the Earth.
RINGMASTER: Let's give a
big cheer to Ludmar and his lions!
Perhaps we could
make Ludmar an ally.
He could become
a Dinosaucer tamer.
Forget the lion tamer.
RINGMASTER: And now
it's time for clowns on parade!
Featuring Clarence, the
tallest clown in the world.
Look at the giant. It's
a human 20 feet tall.
Yes, he certainly would
frighten the Dinosaucers.
I want him. We must
capture Clarence.
I didn't know
humans grew so tall.
Perhaps he has a power
like ours to dinovolve
and uses it for the circus.
No, Teryx, he's just a
guy who walks on big sticks
called stilts. He
wears them like shoes.
He must have very big feet.
Heh-heh-heh. No.
Just a tall ladder to
get up on the stilts.
We'll show you
at the intermission.
RINGMASTER: Now
for a brief intermission.
Quackpot, where are you?
QUACKPOT: Quack, heh, over here.
Heh, how do you
like my new nose?
It's my favorite color,
heh. Blood red, heh.
And it honks. Honk,
honk, honk, honk.
This is no time
to play dress-up!
There is a 20-foot man in
this circus and I want him.
I saw him heading
for the clown trailer
on the other side of this tent.
Let's go!
Where is he?
He's too big to
fit into that trailer.
The laws of physics
and probability
would agree with you, uh,
but unfortunately
my eyes do not.
Well, I'm off to get
a hot dog and cider.
Hi, buddy.
Look, you dumb sideshow
mugs, I'm Clarence the Clown.
Release me at once
or I'll have all you freaks
run out of the circus.
We're not freaks.
We're evolved dinosaurs
from outer space.
Jumping kangaroos.
You're not carnies at all.
You are evolved
dinosaurs from outer space.
Tyrannos, to be
precise, Clarence.
What do you want?
I'm just a clown.
A very large clown
when you want to be.
We want your shrinking ray.
I don't have a shrinking ray.
Quack! Come, come, Clarence.
We're not stupid.
We saw you tall
and now you're small.
You shrunk.
There are some Dinosaucers
we would like to see
reduced in size, and you
have the device to help us do it.
But I don't shrink.
And I'm not descended
from a Tyrannosaurus rex!
Clarence, I'm getting angry.
Heh, he's not very
nice when he's angry.
There is a slim possibility
the clown is telling the truth.
Listen to the bird, mates. I
was a Boy Scout in Australia.
I always tell the truth.
Aah! I don't believe you.
Let's take him back
to the Tarpits. Huh!
No. I don't wanna go with you.
Quick! After him!
We've gotta catch
him before he grows.
TERYX: Mm, fresh air.
I love the circus,
but not the smell of pachyderms.
They're elephants, Teryx.
And, uh, I find them quite cute.
One reminds me
of my favorite aunt.
CLARENCE: Help!
That's Clarence. He's
very short without his stilts.
And he's being
chased by Tyrannos.
Come on. He needs help.
Daddy, look. Clowns are coming.
This is some show.
Where did he go?
Quack! Maybe he shrunk
down to the size of an ant.
That's a possibility.
All these clothes
are different sizes
and all the signs say
"Reduced For Clarence."
So Clarence can reduce in size.
And I almost believed
that clown's lies.
The elevator. He
must have taken it up.
Come on.
ALLO: They went in here.
[♪♪♪]
He's on this floor.
It's the only one the
elevator stopped at.
Everything here is
"Reduced for Clarence" too.
Ah, this must be his warehouse
where everything is reduced
and stored for him. Quack.
Look at these boots.
They're so big, only
a giant can wear them.
Let's spread out and find him.
[GRUNTS]
This is the worst
day of my life.
First I get a splinter
from my stilts
and now I'm chased by
crazy evolved dinosaurs
from outer space.
Oh, mama said
there'd be days like this.
Just the mammal I wanted to see.
Hand over your
shrinking ray or else!
But I don't have one.
Then why is everything
"Reduced for Clarence"?
You don't understand.
Everything's
reduced for clearance.
Not for me.
Your name is Clarence!
These signs say
this is your store.
I want that shrinking ray.
Yes, even that door
says low Clarence
for you to go through
when you're small.
Quack, let's take him back
to the Tarpits, Ghengis Rex.
Right, Quackpot.
Obviously this circus creep
needs some Tarpit persuasion.
ALLO: Drop the clown, Rex.
Allo! Rex, let him go.
He's nothing to you.
Nothing but the key to
my conquest of Earth.
He's going to the Tarpits.
No way, Rex!
Hey!
You're all
pre-hysterical fruitcakes.
Get him!
Time to check out
the catch of the day.
[QUACKPOT SCREAMS]
Teryx, Allo, surprise.
[TERYX & ALLO SCREAM]
TERYX: You've ruffled my
feathers one too many times, Dactel.
That's just to let you know
that having feathers
doesn't make you special.
Forget the Dinosaucers.
Just grab the
mammal and run for it.
QUACKPOT: Quack,
easier said than done, Rex.
Slowpoke, you'd
better take the express
to the ground floor.
TERRIBLE: Third
floor, sporting goods.
Hurry it up!
TERRIBLE: Second
floor, ladies' lingerie.
First floor, everybody out.
Quack, which way did that
selfish little mammal go, huh?
Back to the circus I bet.
[♪♪♪]
RINGMASTER: Presenting Sophie,
Bunny and Laura,
the Flying Nelnicky Sisters!
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
I wish Allo and
Teryx would get back.
They're missing
all the excitement.
Yeah, I really
wanted them to see
the Flying Nelnicky Sisters.
They're sensational.
I hope Allo and
Teryx will get back
before the end of this act.
I wonder what could
have distracted them.
[GROANS]
[YELLING]
QUACKPOT: Quack. He's in the
moonwalk. Heh, whatever that is.
REX: Terrible Dactel, you
find a rear exit and cut him off.
TERRIBLE: Immediately,
Ghengis Rex.
Quackpot, you'd
better come with me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
REX: Clarence, stop!
You must be kidding me.
Go get him!
[QUACKPOT SCREAMING]
He hasn't moved an inch.
This must be one
of Clarence's tricks.
Heh, I don't like this.
[SCREAMS]
Bossasaurus, it's shrinking!
Let's get out of here!
What happened?
Heh. Clarence tried to shrink us
along with the moonwalk. Heh.
I must have his shrinking ray.
He ran into the big
tent through here
before I could stop him.
He can't get out of there.
CLARENCE: Hey, Rube,
they're after me! Help!
Ooh, it's Worm Breath.
You know the guy
who knocked Barry out
and stole his costume?
He's back with some pals.
Some costume.
I bet they work for a rival show
and are trying to sabotage us.
Let's total them.
[CROWD LAUGHING]
RYAN: Look! Tyrannos!
And the clowns
are charging them.
We've got to help them.
Secret Scouts, ring power up!
I'm right behind you, Sarah.
Quack! Hey, we're
getting attacked by clowns.
Do they think we can
be frightened by men
with rubber noses?
[CROWD LAUGHING]
[SCREAMS]
This will teach you to tangle
with Baby Face Malone.
Yuck! It's milk!
What's going on here?
I'm taking over the show.
[CROWD BOOING]
Give me back my bottle.
Quack! Go find
some fleas, fur ball.
How dare you interfere with me!
Leave them alone,
you lava lizard!
[REX GROANS]
[SARAH SCREAMS]
Aha, Secret Scouts.
They must be after
Clarence's ray too.
WOMAN: Leave that child alone.
We don't allow skyjacking
in our circus, bud.
Oh, my!
[TERRIBLE SCREAMING]
[CROWD CHEERING]
ALLO: I don't believe it, Teryx.
These circus folks are fighting
the Tyrannos and winning.
Should we help them?
Only if they need us.
Aah! No, no, stay away from me!
We're improving your looks.
[SIREN WAILING]
[SCREAMING]
[CROWD LAUGHING]
[SIGHS]
Ah! You're a giant again.
Right, and if you
and your friends
bother my circus
again, I'll get even larger.
Now, goodbye.
[SCREAMING]
[WHIMPERING]
[GROANS]
ALLO: Boo! Aah!
[QUACKPOT SCREAMING]
[CROWD LAUGHS]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Where's Rex?
[REX GROANING AND LION GROWLING]
About to make a
final charge, I think.
The game's up. I'd better hide.
Hey!
[CROWD LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
[♪♪♪]
I love getting rid
of rowdy customers.
Fire!
[REX GROANING]
Someone help me!
You'd better stay there.
[TERRIBLE GROANS]
[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
Here are some lifetime
circus passes for your help.
And anytime you
wanna join up, heh,
you've got a job here.
Well, thanks, Clarence,
but I think Earth is
enough of a circus.
Dinosaucers ♪
[ALL LAUGHING]
Dinosaucers ♪
[♪♪♪]
Dinosaucers ♪
Dinosaucers ♪
NARRATOR: We used to
be four ordinary teenagers.
Until one day,
we met some new
friends from out of town.
Dinosaucers ♪
They were called Dinosaucers.
My friends and I became
the Secret Scouts,
allies to these Dinosaucers
from outer space,
and joined in their battles
against Ghengis Rex
and the evil Tyrannos.
[REX ROARS]
The Dinosaucers are
leaving, bossasaur.
Well, follow them!
Dinosaucers ♪
[ALL GROWLING]
Dinosaucers ♪
[GROWLING]
[♪♪♪]
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
come and see the
greatest show on Earth.
From the four
corners of the globe
we have gathered under one tent
the greatest group of
circus folks and animal acts
ever seen.
So come to the circus today.
Quackpot, what are you doing?
Aah!
Uh, my job, Ghengis Rex.
Your job is to scan frequencies
for Dinosaucer messages
and report on any
unusual human activities.
Quack. Yes. And a circus
is an unusual human activity.
A circus? What is a circus?
I don't know, heh.
But they gather
animals and people
from the four
corners of the Earth
and put them in a tent.
We could study
them all together, heh.
Very interesting.
Earth doesn't have four corners.
It's round.
Maybe there are some
shape altering principles
at this circus.
We will go to the circus today!
[ORGAN PLAYING CIRCUS MUSIC]
VENDOR: Cotton
candy, popcorn, candy.
Cotton candy, popcorn, candy.
Candy out of cotton?
Corn that pops.
Ooh, sounds awful.
Let's split up
for a closer look.
[♪♪♪]
ALLO: I'm glad you were able
to get tickets to the circus, Ryan.
RYAN: It was a cinch.
My dad's corporation offers him
his private box
seats every year.
I always wanted to see a circus.
And the private box means
you won't need to worry
about your disguises
once we're inside the tent.
Ah, it will be nice not
to worry about anything
for a couple of hours.
I hope we have no problems.
Relax, Allo, no one has
problems at the circus.
RYAN: It's been an earth
tradition for fun for over 2000 years.
[♪♪♪]
A perfect observation post.
A ringside seat.
Hey, Barry, I love
your new outfit,
but you know, you
smell like worms.
Quack, what's wrong
with worms, huh?
Well, Allo, what do
you think of the circus?
Amazing.
I never knew there were humans
with purple hair and red noses.
Heh, there aren't.
Those are clowns.
Clowns are ordinary people
who wear makeup and wigs
and have the job of
making people laugh.
I think I like clowns.
My favorite act
is the lion tamer.
He's coming out now.
Look, Teryx, the ringmaster
will announce him.
Presenting the world-famous
lion tamer, Ludmar the Great!
[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
[GROWLING]
[CROWD CHEERING]
How brave that human is to
enter a cage with wild lions.
They're not wild,
Allo, they're tame.
Trained to roar and look
mean but they're really not.
TERYX: I never
would have guessed.
Rex, do you see the lion tamer?
Yes, I do.
I like the way that
human bosses the lions.
It reminds me of how
I'd like to rule the Earth.
RINGMASTER: Let's give a
big cheer to Ludmar and his lions!
Perhaps we could
make Ludmar an ally.
He could become
a Dinosaucer tamer.
Forget the lion tamer.
RINGMASTER: And now
it's time for clowns on parade!
Featuring Clarence, the
tallest clown in the world.
Look at the giant. It's
a human 20 feet tall.
Yes, he certainly would
frighten the Dinosaucers.
I want him. We must
capture Clarence.
I didn't know
humans grew so tall.
Perhaps he has a power
like ours to dinovolve
and uses it for the circus.
No, Teryx, he's just a
guy who walks on big sticks
called stilts. He
wears them like shoes.
He must have very big feet.
Heh-heh-heh. No.
Just a tall ladder to
get up on the stilts.
We'll show you
at the intermission.
RINGMASTER: Now
for a brief intermission.
Quackpot, where are you?
QUACKPOT: Quack, heh, over here.
Heh, how do you
like my new nose?
It's my favorite color,
heh. Blood red, heh.
And it honks. Honk,
honk, honk, honk.
This is no time
to play dress-up!
There is a 20-foot man in
this circus and I want him.
I saw him heading
for the clown trailer
on the other side of this tent.
Let's go!
Where is he?
He's too big to
fit into that trailer.
The laws of physics
and probability
would agree with you, uh,
but unfortunately
my eyes do not.
Well, I'm off to get
a hot dog and cider.
Hi, buddy.
Look, you dumb sideshow
mugs, I'm Clarence the Clown.
Release me at once
or I'll have all you freaks
run out of the circus.
We're not freaks.
We're evolved dinosaurs
from outer space.
Jumping kangaroos.
You're not carnies at all.
You are evolved
dinosaurs from outer space.
Tyrannos, to be
precise, Clarence.
What do you want?
I'm just a clown.
A very large clown
when you want to be.
We want your shrinking ray.
I don't have a shrinking ray.
Quack! Come, come, Clarence.
We're not stupid.
We saw you tall
and now you're small.
You shrunk.
There are some Dinosaucers
we would like to see
reduced in size, and you
have the device to help us do it.
But I don't shrink.
And I'm not descended
from a Tyrannosaurus rex!
Clarence, I'm getting angry.
Heh, he's not very
nice when he's angry.
There is a slim possibility
the clown is telling the truth.
Listen to the bird, mates. I
was a Boy Scout in Australia.
I always tell the truth.
Aah! I don't believe you.
Let's take him back
to the Tarpits. Huh!
No. I don't wanna go with you.
Quick! After him!
We've gotta catch
him before he grows.
TERYX: Mm, fresh air.
I love the circus,
but not the smell of pachyderms.
They're elephants, Teryx.
And, uh, I find them quite cute.
One reminds me
of my favorite aunt.
CLARENCE: Help!
That's Clarence. He's
very short without his stilts.
And he's being
chased by Tyrannos.
Come on. He needs help.
Daddy, look. Clowns are coming.
This is some show.
Where did he go?
Quack! Maybe he shrunk
down to the size of an ant.
That's a possibility.
All these clothes
are different sizes
and all the signs say
"Reduced For Clarence."
So Clarence can reduce in size.
And I almost believed
that clown's lies.
The elevator. He
must have taken it up.
Come on.
ALLO: They went in here.
[♪♪♪]
He's on this floor.
It's the only one the
elevator stopped at.
Everything here is
"Reduced for Clarence" too.
Ah, this must be his warehouse
where everything is reduced
and stored for him. Quack.
Look at these boots.
They're so big, only
a giant can wear them.
Let's spread out and find him.
[GRUNTS]
This is the worst
day of my life.
First I get a splinter
from my stilts
and now I'm chased by
crazy evolved dinosaurs
from outer space.
Oh, mama said
there'd be days like this.
Just the mammal I wanted to see.
Hand over your
shrinking ray or else!
But I don't have one.
Then why is everything
"Reduced for Clarence"?
You don't understand.
Everything's
reduced for clearance.
Not for me.
Your name is Clarence!
These signs say
this is your store.
I want that shrinking ray.
Yes, even that door
says low Clarence
for you to go through
when you're small.
Quack, let's take him back
to the Tarpits, Ghengis Rex.
Right, Quackpot.
Obviously this circus creep
needs some Tarpit persuasion.
ALLO: Drop the clown, Rex.
Allo! Rex, let him go.
He's nothing to you.
Nothing but the key to
my conquest of Earth.
He's going to the Tarpits.
No way, Rex!
Hey!
You're all
pre-hysterical fruitcakes.
Get him!
Time to check out
the catch of the day.
[QUACKPOT SCREAMS]
Teryx, Allo, surprise.
[TERYX & ALLO SCREAM]
TERYX: You've ruffled my
feathers one too many times, Dactel.
That's just to let you know
that having feathers
doesn't make you special.
Forget the Dinosaucers.
Just grab the
mammal and run for it.
QUACKPOT: Quack,
easier said than done, Rex.
Slowpoke, you'd
better take the express
to the ground floor.
TERRIBLE: Third
floor, sporting goods.
Hurry it up!
TERRIBLE: Second
floor, ladies' lingerie.
First floor, everybody out.
Quack, which way did that
selfish little mammal go, huh?
Back to the circus I bet.
[♪♪♪]
RINGMASTER: Presenting Sophie,
Bunny and Laura,
the Flying Nelnicky Sisters!
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
I wish Allo and
Teryx would get back.
They're missing
all the excitement.
Yeah, I really
wanted them to see
the Flying Nelnicky Sisters.
They're sensational.
I hope Allo and
Teryx will get back
before the end of this act.
I wonder what could
have distracted them.
[GROANS]
[YELLING]
QUACKPOT: Quack. He's in the
moonwalk. Heh, whatever that is.
REX: Terrible Dactel, you
find a rear exit and cut him off.
TERRIBLE: Immediately,
Ghengis Rex.
Quackpot, you'd
better come with me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
REX: Clarence, stop!
You must be kidding me.
Go get him!
[QUACKPOT SCREAMING]
He hasn't moved an inch.
This must be one
of Clarence's tricks.
Heh, I don't like this.
[SCREAMS]
Bossasaurus, it's shrinking!
Let's get out of here!
What happened?
Heh. Clarence tried to shrink us
along with the moonwalk. Heh.
I must have his shrinking ray.
He ran into the big
tent through here
before I could stop him.
He can't get out of there.
CLARENCE: Hey, Rube,
they're after me! Help!
Ooh, it's Worm Breath.
You know the guy
who knocked Barry out
and stole his costume?
He's back with some pals.
Some costume.
I bet they work for a rival show
and are trying to sabotage us.
Let's total them.
[CROWD LAUGHING]
RYAN: Look! Tyrannos!
And the clowns
are charging them.
We've got to help them.
Secret Scouts, ring power up!
I'm right behind you, Sarah.
Quack! Hey, we're
getting attacked by clowns.
Do they think we can
be frightened by men
with rubber noses?
[CROWD LAUGHING]
[SCREAMS]
This will teach you to tangle
with Baby Face Malone.
Yuck! It's milk!
What's going on here?
I'm taking over the show.
[CROWD BOOING]
Give me back my bottle.
Quack! Go find
some fleas, fur ball.
How dare you interfere with me!
Leave them alone,
you lava lizard!
[REX GROANS]
[SARAH SCREAMS]
Aha, Secret Scouts.
They must be after
Clarence's ray too.
WOMAN: Leave that child alone.
We don't allow skyjacking
in our circus, bud.
Oh, my!
[TERRIBLE SCREAMING]
[CROWD CHEERING]
ALLO: I don't believe it, Teryx.
These circus folks are fighting
the Tyrannos and winning.
Should we help them?
Only if they need us.
Aah! No, no, stay away from me!
We're improving your looks.
[SIREN WAILING]
[SCREAMING]
[CROWD LAUGHING]
[SIGHS]
Ah! You're a giant again.
Right, and if you
and your friends
bother my circus
again, I'll get even larger.
Now, goodbye.
[SCREAMING]
[WHIMPERING]
[GROANS]
ALLO: Boo! Aah!
[QUACKPOT SCREAMING]
[CROWD LAUGHS]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Where's Rex?
[REX GROANING AND LION GROWLING]
About to make a
final charge, I think.
The game's up. I'd better hide.
Hey!
[CROWD LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
[♪♪♪]
I love getting rid
of rowdy customers.
Fire!
[REX GROANING]
Someone help me!
You'd better stay there.
[TERRIBLE GROANS]
[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
Here are some lifetime
circus passes for your help.
And anytime you
wanna join up, heh,
you've got a job here.
Well, thanks, Clarence,
but I think Earth is
enough of a circus.
Dinosaucers ♪
[ALL LAUGHING]
Dinosaucers ♪
[♪♪♪]
Dinosaucers ♪
Dinosaucers ♪