Dinosaucers (1987) s01e57 Episode Script

Saber-Tooth or Consequences

1
RYAN: We used to be four
ordinary teenagers until one day,
we met some new
friends from out of town.
Dinosaucers ♪
They were called Dinosaucers.
[♪♪♪]
My friends and I became
the Secret Scouts,
allies to these Dinosaucers
from outer space,
and joined in their battles
against Genghis Rex
and the evil Tyrannos.
[REX ROARS]
The Dinosaucers are
leaving, bossasaur.
Well, follow them!
Dinosaucers ♪
[ALL GROWLING]
Dinosaucers ♪
[GROWLING]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
TRAFFIC CONTROLLER:
Useful Air flight 331.
You are cleared to
land on one-four lap.
Ground control is on
144.1 after landing.
Good day.
What a dull day.
Yeah, nothing's happened
around here for weeks.
[RADAR BEEPING]
What the heck?
What's that thing?
It's nothing from Useful
Air, that's for sure.
MAN 1: Whoa. Wow!
MAN 2: What's that?
MAN 3: What do you think it is?
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
HARRY: What is it?
You got me, Harry.
I wonder if it's friendly.
[SABER TOOTH GNARLING]
SABER TOOTH:
Surrender, Earthlings.
Resistance is useless.
Hey, with friends like
that we're in trouble.
ANNOUNCER [OVER TV]: We
interrupt our regularly scheduled program
to bring you the following
special news report.
BOTH: Aw!
Sera, what happened
to the picture?
I wanna find out
how Rick Dangerous gets
away from the mole people.
Well, this is just a
news report, Bonehead.
It'll be done in a minute.
What's that thing sitting
in middle of that runway?
It looks sort of like
a Dinosaucer ship.
[SABER TOOTH GNARLING]
SABER TOOTH:
Surrender, Earthlings.
Resistance is useless.
Oh, no.
That's not a Dinosaucer ship.
It's one of the Saber
Tooth's pirate ships.
The Saber Tooth's pirate ships?
Allo!
Hey, wait for me.
You were right, Bonehead.
It's the Saber
Tooth's all right.
Who are they?
Pirates.
You never said anything
about there being
pirates on Reptilon.
Sera, we could
know you for years
and not be able to tell you
everything about Reptilon.
Besides, these creatures
are not our favorite people.
The Saber Tooths have raided
and plundered cities on Reptilon
for hundreds of years.
Can't you stop them?
We've you been
trying for a long time.
We thought we'd won.
They haven't succeeded
in landing on Reptilon
for some time now.
But now it looks like
they've followed us to Earth.
And now we're gonna
have to take action
to protect your
people and ourselves.
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
Good morning, Rex.
Allo, what do you want?
I'm busy plotting
and scheming today.
Call back tomorrow.
Rex, I have only one
word to say to you.
Good.
Saber Tooths.
Bad.
That's bad. Where?
Los Angeles, apparently.
Allo, we must hold
a counsel of war.
And unite our forces
to halt this menace.
Fine. We'll await
you at Lava Dome.
SERA: Wow.
Allo, what can be so bad
that it makes Rex agree
to fight something with you?
That.
[GROWLING]
[GASPS]
[GNARLS]
All right, where's the treasure?
There's supposed
to be treasure here.
[GNARLS]
Smiling Dawn, get out here!
[BANGING AND MUTTERING]
Here I am, Captain Saber Tooth.
Right.
Aah!
[SABER TOOTH GROWLS]
Now, you said that this place
calls itself the golden state.
Where's the gold?
SMILING DAWN: It must
be around here somewhere.
Probably hidden in one
of these big buildings.
Oh.
No people around
here, just these robots.
Take me to your leader.
Give us your gold.
Ow!
Silly thing.
I hate robots. Never use them.
Well, I want the gold.
Monitor this planet's
communications channel
and find out where
the gold is hidden!
Right away, Saber Tooth.
Soon all the treasure
and booty on this planet
will be mine.
And no one can stop me.
[LAUGHING]
REX: Shut up. We've got trouble.
SERA: Do you believe this mess?
BONEHEAD: When do we start?
STYRACO: Get out
of my face, Dinosaucer.
ALLO: All right,
ladies and gentlesaurs.
Calm down.
Now, you've seen the reports.
Saber Tooth and his
pirates are in Los Angeles.
We've gotta get
them off the planet
before they harm
the humans here.
Who cares about the humans?
What about us?
You remember what they did
the last time they
landed on Reptilon?
I don't get it.
You wouldn't.
You're a mammal, like they are.
Oh, Rex, go stuff a
sock up your scales.
What can they do to
Earth that's so bad?
They only have one ship.
Well, yes.
But the have weapons
as good as ours
and they're cats.
You know how cats are.
Can you imagine
giant ferocious cats
with enough weapons
to let them take
anything they want?
Uh, I think I see your point.
And if we don't stop them,
they'll unravel your
planet like a ball of yarn
just for the fun of it.
Yeah.
And think of what
they'll do to your drapes.
[SNORTS]
All right, Allo.
But how are we going
to stop them now?
We've been trying for years
and it took our whole
planet working together
to keep them away.
Well, you're the plotting
and scheming expert.
I thought you might
have an idea or two.
I do. I think we should
all go home to Reptilon.
After the Saber Tooths
are finished with it,
this planet won't
be worth ruling.
Is it really that bad, Allo?
It's very bad, Sera.
In hundreds of years of trying,
we've never found a weapon
that really worked
against the Saber Tooths.
But 'm not giving up.
SERA: We can save the Earth
even from these Saber Teeth.
Sera's right.
We're gonna have
to try something.
Maybe we can lure them
off the planet somehow.
We leave for Los
Angeles at once.
[♪♪♪]
SMILING DAWN: I found where
the gold is hidden, Saber Tooth.
[GROANING]
It's Captain Saber Tooth
and don't you forget it.
[GROANING]
SABER TOOTH:
Now, where's the booty?
Right below us, Saber Tooth.
In a place called Beverly Hills.
[HORNS HONKING AND
TIRES SCREECHING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
[GROWLING]
Surrender, humans.
Resistance is useless!
[MOANING]
Yeah.
Resistance is useless.
Yeah.
[CROWD GASPING]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
[CRYING]
[GUFFAWS]
Gold at last.
[GROWLS]
Mine!
Oh!
Look, plunder.
Pillage!
[GUFFAWING]
Yeah.
Pillage.
[SCREAMING]
More treasure.
A king's ransom.
[SCREAMING]
[GUFFAWS]
Nothing will stand in my way.
Hey, give me your jewels.
Give me your gold.
[ALARM BUZZING]
Aha!
You dare try to foil me
with your petty alarm.
You will pay the price!
Hey, Smiling Dawn.
Use the catalytic converter
on these creatures.
[CROWD SCREAMING]
[GRUNTS]
Perfect.
Now all the jewels are mine.
And soon, all the
treasure on this planet.
[GUFFAWING]
[♪♪♪]
ALLO: All right,
everybody. Stay close.
Saber Tooth's ship
landed not far from here.
Oh, no. If they're near here,
they must be right in the
middle of Beverly Hills.
REX: I can almost feel
sorry for the poor humans.
Almost?
Well, they are only mammals.
Genghis Rex, you're hopeless.
Down there! Look!
ALLO: That's the
Saber Tooth's ship.
[COMPUTER BEEPING]
My dinosensors
say they're not in it.
Great. It's all mine.
Everybody stay out of my way.
Brachio, you idiotops,
what are you doing?
BRACHIO: Making
sure they can't run away.
[BANGING]
You smashed their cockpit.
Now they're stuck
on the planet with us,
you tail for brains!
Ah, yeah.
We could always go
home and leave them here.
REX: No, we could not
because I have to stay
here and conquer the Earth!
And if I have to stay,
you have to stay!
Sorry, Allo. Brachio
was trying to think.
I promise it won't happen again.
Well, let's make the best of it.
Down.
[♪♪♪]
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
Let's go.
[GROWLS]
More plunder.
More pillage.
[LAUGHS]
Ah, yeah, war.
Right, boss.
[GNARLING]
Back to the ship.
We'll plunder the whole planet,
one city at a time.
ALLO: No chance, Saber Tooth.
Oh!
Dinosaucers and Tyrannos.
Yes, Saber Tooth.
You made a mistake
when you landed on Earth.
Yes, this planet is mine.
Well, all right, ours.
At any rate, your
pirating days are over.
Your ship's destroyed.
So you'd better surrender.
[GNARLING]
Oh, you think so, do you?
Well, I have a little
surprise for you.
Come on, hurry up.
What is the surprise?
Wait a minute.
It was right here.
Why, here it is.
Try this, Dinosaucers.
My little fossilizer
neutralizer.
Try it? I can't even say it.
Uh-oh.
[CLICKING]
My fossilizer won't work.
Neither will mine.
Or mine.
No. But mine will.
[ALL YELLING]
[ALL PANTING]
I think we've got a problem.
You have a talent
for understatement.
Now what are we gonna do?
If we could get that
neutralizer away from him
Uh-oh. Look at that.
Take us to where we can
find more plunder, Earthling.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
We've gotta go after them.
Let's get back to the ships.
But there's no time.
We'll lose Saber Tooth
and he'll hurt more humans.
Wait. I know what to do.
There's a cab stand over there.
Follow that car.
[CAB DRIVER SCREAMS]
Uh, anything you say, lady.
[GROANS]
These ridiculous
mammal vehicles.
[♪♪♪]
That's better.
[♪♪♪]
SABER TOOTH: Oh, stop!
Stop right here.
[TIRE SCREECHES]
Look at this place.
Oh.
How wonderful.
Wow, it looks like home.
[GNARLING]
Indeed it does.
Reptilon.
Fair Reptilon.
We'll make our stand here
against those
devious Dinosaucers
and treacherous Tyrannos.
Right, captain.
Of course I'm right!
And when they show up,
I'll let them beg for mercy
before I send them to dreamland.
Permanently.
SERA: There must be
some way to stop them
without fossilizers.
They're only cats.
Oh, now what's happening?
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
It's a traffic jam.
Right in front of
the La Brea Tar Pits.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
ALLO: Hmm.
[♪♪♪]
Well, I guess this
is it, everybody.
If we don't come
out of this all right,
it's been nice knowing you.
ANKYLO: Bye. Nice knowing you.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
Rex, you've been a noble enemy.
Allo, you've been a
thorn in my scales,
but I'll miss having
you to go up against.
All of this because
of some cats?
Aha.
Wait a minute. Cats.
I've got it.
Don't fight them.
Or go ahead, but stall.
What? Why?
Never mind. There's no time.
Just stall them.
I'll be right back.
What was all that about?
You can never tell with mammals.
[GNARLING]
Where are they?
Where are those
cowardly lizards?
Maybe they ran away.
[GNARLS]
Maybe they did.
Poor frightened things.
They live in fear
of my greatness.
Too bad.
It would have
been a great fight.
I wanna swash their
buckles for them.
Whoa Ooh!
[GNARLING]
ALLO: This is your last chance.
Surrender and we'll
be lenient with you.
[ALL SCREAMS]
On the other hand,
we could always
surrender the Earth to you.
It was just a thought.
[SABER TOOTH GROWLS]
No more chances, Allo.
I've had fun playing with you.
But now it's fossil time.
Say your goodbyes, lizards.
I I I don't
wanna say goodbye.
[SNORTS]
There, there, Ankylo.
[GRUNTS]
Thanks, Rex. I needed that.
SERA: Oh, no, you don't.
Who's that?
Just one of the local mammals.
And I've got the weapon
that will finally stop you.
Oh, really?
Who do you think
you are, little mammal?
Tyranno de Bergerac?
Maybe.
Well, go ahead.
Do your best.
What's your mighty weapon?
This.
[WHEEZES]
[GIGGLING]
[PURRS]
Now, stop that.
[LAUGHING]
I think I'll climb a tree.
SMILING DAWN: Oh.
I think I'll roll
around and purr.
[PURRS]
[SABER TOOTH GUFFAWING]
Mammal, all of Reptilon
has been trying for years
to slow those creatures down.
What did you do?
Here. A gift from planet
Earth to the planet Reptilon.
Hmm. "Catnip. Twenty pounds."
Yeah. Any time
they give you trouble,
you just get some
of this on them.
They'll turn into
dingbats for hours.
[PURRING]
Little human, you
almost make me think
you're an intelligent creature.
Gee, thanks, Rex.
But then you're a mammal,
so I'm probably wrong.
So where are all of you going?
Back to our own Tarpits.
The truce is off.
But what about the Saber Tooths?
Ah, you're the
public-spirited type.
You send them back to Reptilon.
We're going home.
We'll have to go defossilize
all those people
in Beverly Hills.
And then get those
Saber Tooths out of here.
Yeah, you just can't
leave them lying around.
You could be
arrested for kitty-litter.
ALL: Aw.
Dinosaucers ♪
BOTH: Wow.
[SERA & BONEHEAD LAUGHING]
Dinosaucers ♪
[ALL LAUGHING]
[♪♪♪]
Dinosaucers ♪
Dinosaucers ♪
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