Dinosaucers (1987) s01e60 Episode Script
Toy-Ranno Store Wars
1
RYAN: We used to be
four ordinary teenagers,
until one day, we
met some new friends
from out of town.
[♪♪♪]
They were called Dinosaucers.
My friends and I became
the Secret Scouts,
allies to these Dinosaucers
from outer space.
And joined in their battles
against Genghis Rex
and the evil Tyrannos.
[ROARS]
The Dinosaucers are
leaving, Bossasaur.
Well, follow them.
Dinosaucers ♪
Dinosaucers ♪
[♪♪♪]
I'm tired of excuses.
Why is taking so
long to conquer earth.
Maybe we need better weapons.
That's an idea.
But where do we get them?
ENKILO: Yoo-hoo, bossasaurus,
I know, I know.
Why do I find that
hard to believe?
No, this time I'm right.
I've been monitoring
earth's television. Look.
[GUNFIRE]
MAN [ON MONITOR]: So get your
rapid fire rifle today and feel the power.
Batteries and liability
insurance not included.
Impressive. Is there more?
Yes, oh, great and
terrible lizard. Look at this.
MAN [ON MONITOR]: So get
your commando man kit today
and be the first
one on your block
to be the last
one on your block.
This is perfect. Is
there anything else?
Yes, ouch, one more,
oh menacing master.
[ Beeps ]
MAN [ON MONITOR]: So
get your Tinky Boos today.
The only love that
money can buy.
[ALL SCREAM]
How horrible!
[♪♪♪]
I wouldn't use a weapon like
that against my worst enemy.
These humans have no mercy.
Still if I could gather
all of these human
weapons in one place
I would have the greatest
armory on earth or Reptilon.
But they are
gathered in one place.
They are? How convenient. Where?
Here. It's called
G.E.T. Schmaltz.
And it's in a place
they call New York City.
We'll go there at once.
Simply having the
weapons is not enough.
How would we learn to use them?
There were human
hatchlings with the weapons.
We will get one of those
miserable Secret Scouts
to tell us how they work.
But what if they won't talk?
Don't worry, Enkilo, I have
ways of making them talk.
[♪♪♪]
ENKILO: There's one
of the Secret Scouts.
Terrible Dactel, get
ready. TERRIBLE: Roger.
DAVID: Oh, no! Tyrannos.
Time to fly out of here.
REX: Terrible Dactel. DAVID: No!
Let me go, you
leather-winged wimp.
No way, mammal. Ghengis
Rex has a job for you.
How do we get to
the street from here?
Jump, King Kong.
When you hear the
splat, you're there.
The elevator is
this way, chiefasaur.
I see that! And don't
call me chiefasaur!
Now, human, you will
lead us to G.E.T. Schmaltz.
G.E.T. Schmaltz? Why
do you want to go there?
That is no concern of yours!
Okay, okay, don't get so testy.
I was just wondering.
Well, don't!
And don't try
anything funny either.
I don't want to attract
attention so just act normal.
I'll act as normal as I can
walking down a city street
while being kidnapped
by three evolved dinosaurs.
[♪♪♪]
MAN: Hey, look.
Wow, great costumes.
Everyone seems to be into this
new dinosaur craze these days.
Silly human.
Dinosaurs have
always been a craze.
At least in sensible
places. Humans are a fad.
Uh, sir, can I have
your autograph?
[ALL CHATTERING]
Certainly. Soon you will
recognize me as your new master.
Oh, tyrant lizard king,
we have to get going.
You must be the monster
in the movie, right?
I've never seen
such an ugly mask.
Huh?
[GROWLING]
Stuck-up movie stars.
So much for that,
fang face, it's closed.
We can't get in.
We'll see about that. Open it!
Your wish is my command,
your high and
mighty Ghengisness.
Hurry up, you fool.
I want those weapons now.
Weapons? What weapons?
Ow!
[LAUGHING]
Hey, give me back
my polidactool.
That wasn't funny.
How did you get in here anyway?
[GROANING]
Are you kidding? I wouldn't
miss this for the world.
Any world.
Enough of this useless
merriment! Open the door.
Of course, Rex.
Immediately, Rex.
ENKILO: At last.
REX: Come along, human,
and make yourself useful.
Oh, mighty Rex. Look at this.
Yes. Yes indeed!
Yes, this is just what we need.
Only a model, heh.
The others must
be stored elsewhere.
That doesn't
matter. I want these.
That's odd.
It didn't blow anything
up. You. Human.
What is wrong with
these weapons?
Why don't they work?
They're just toys.
Children playthings, that's all.
Nonsense, human!
I have seen tapes
of their operation
on your own television
broadcasts. They're powerful.
They're harmless. My baby sister
does more damage than these do.
Heh, Rex, I found
one that works.
Show me.
Heh, huh, funny. It
worked just a moment ago.
No explosion. No nothing!
What is the secret of
this weaponry, mammal?
I want more than
just noises and light.
You just don't
believe me, do you?
We all know you humans
are full of sneaky tricks.
Well, you asked for
it. I'll tell you the truth.
You're playing around
with the wrong stuff.
What?
Those guns and stuff
aren't the dangerous
weapons. These are.
You're looking at the meanest,
most powerful arsenal
on the face of the earth.
Enough to blow your scales off.
Nonsense. They're horrible,
but they're just
cloth and stuffing.
You're wrong,
Tyrannos. If I wanted to,
I could make them beat
the stuffings out of you.
[REX LAUGHING]
Those? What can little
toys like that do to us?
You've got to activate
them, Rexy. Watch this.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
[GRUNTS]
So that's how it works.
They call this one
the blond bombshell.
[BOTH GRUNT]
Please stop it!
Okay. This is it. Here it goes.
[ALL GASP]
[ALL SIGH]
Whew, nearly
blew us all up there.
Uh, don't open that.
It'll blow your head off.
[LAUGHS]
[GRUNTS AND GROANS]
I warned you. You were
just lucky it wasn't armed.
[CHATTERING ON TV]
Yikes.
MAN [ON TV]: You
have been destroyed.
This machine could be
fatal in the wrong hands.
Mm, yes. Ours.
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]
[INDISTINC
CHATTERING OVER RADIO]
Attention. You in the
store. This is the police.
Come out with your
hands over your head.
This is perfect.
Now I will show your puny
earth militia our superiority.
With our new weapons.
Well, let's try out the
blond bombshell, heh.
Shall we?
[♪♪♪]
I repeat. Come out
with your hands up.
I am Genghis Rex.
We have your secret weapons
and one of your
human hatchlings.
Face my wrath, if you dare.
Oh, great. We've got a
nut case in a dinosaur suit.
We'll give them a
short time to disperse,
then we will destroy them
with their own arsenal.
What if we can't get the
Earth weapons to work?
Then I will fall back
on cruder methods
and fossilize the puny
mammals one by one.
[LAUGHS]
Control, we have a burglary.
There's a bunch of
weirdos in dinosaur suits
holding some kid
hostage in Schmaltz's.
Boy, you guys are really
serious about these toys.
I mean weapons.
Look, oh Genghis Rex.
I will activate these
monsters to serve us.
Obviously there's
something I'm missing here.
Mostly your brain, scalehead.
Don't waste time with
these tiny monsters.
Make these work instead.
I've gotta do
something about this,
except they're so funny
I hate to stop them.
[LAUGHING]
Oh, look at the bright colors.
These must be some kind
of concentrated power supply.
Let me have those.
If you drop them we
could all be doomed.
[BOTH SCREAMING AND GRUNTING]
We will activate the
best looking one first.
Which one, oh mighty Rex?
REX: The Tyrannosaurus,
of course, tail-for-brains!
Now, where is that
mammal gone off to?
Enkilo, go find him.
Oh, mammal, come out,
come out, little human.
Rex wants you.
Lava Dome. Come
in. Anybody home.
ALLO [OVER COMM]:
Allo here, David.
Tyranno trouble, Allo.
I'm at G.E.T.
Schmaltz's in New York.
Here's the story.
DAVID [OVER COMM]: So that's it.
But worst of all, the
police are outside.
They think the
Tyrannos are burglars.
We must have
tripped the silent alarm.
David, if we come in there,
the police are gonna
think we're Tyrannos too.
Worse than that,
they think you're crazy
humans in dinosaur suits.
Hmm, then we can't
let ourselves be seen.
DAVID [OVER COMM]: Maybe
you should let them see you.
You could lure
some of them away.
That's a good idea. A diversion.
Let's call the other
Secret Scouts.
DAVID [OVER COMM]: Right.
Meantime, Dimetro, I've got an idea.
So if Rex wants an army so
bad, let surprise him with one.
DIMETRO [OVER COMM]: I think
we can work something out for him.
I've got just the
reptool for the job.
Great. See you guys in a while.
Dinosaucers ♪
Dinosaucers ♪
What if they don't notice us?
Somehow I don't think
that's going to be our problem.
[♪♪♪]
[MACHINE BEEPING]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
It's one of those weirdos in
dinosaur suits. Get them, men.
Yup. They noticed us.
[♪♪♪]
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]
What is going on out there?
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
And where's that human?
Here I am. No, I'm over here.
No, I'm over here.
Boy, am I glad to see you guys.
How'd you get here so fast?
Allo dropped us
off in the shuttle,
and we brought a
special guest dino.
Are you all right? Yes, yes.
Get them! Get Allo and Dimetro
and those pesky mammals!
[♪♪♪]
I'll take care of this.
Everybody scatter.
Hurry! Get them. Follow them.
[GRUNTING]
In fact, I'll get those
mammals myself.
And teach them a
lesson they won't forget.
Hey, lookee here.
It's the Darth Warrior.
My man.
REX: Come back
here, you puny human.
You can't escape Genghis Rex.
DAVID: Hey, I'm
not even trying to.
PAUL: Me either, Rexy.
Wouldn't dream of it.
There he is, Rex.
Ugh, striking from
behind. Unfair.
[LAUGHS]
ENKILO: I'll get
you, Secret Scout.
PAUL: And hear the
wrath of the Darth Warrior.
[ENKILO GRUNTING AND GROANING]
Always wearing a cape.
Now what? We go find Dimetro,
because if we don't
do something soon,
Rex'll fossilize those
poor cops outside.
The police aren't
out there anymore.
They're busy chasing
Bronto Thunder
and Stego around New York.
Good. Then Dimetro
can try out his plan.
Are we ready?
We'll soon find out.
[ROARING]
I'll get those mammals now.
Stop them all. I must
have my weapons.
Oh, no!
[SCREAMS]
Oh, no. Not that!
[CRYING]
Anything but that.
[CHATTERING]
I can't stand it. They're cute.
No! No! Go away. Let me alone!
I surrender. Help.
ENKILO: Rex, Rex.
Help us! Help us!
Yes, help us.
Now stop that! Are
you mice or lizards?
Stand up like Tyrannos.
Behave like dinosaurs in
front of these mammals!
Stand up tall!
And head for the exits
in a dignified fashion.
[ALL SCREAMING]
[GRUNTS]
Where are the police?
We lost them in Central Park.
Is David all right?
I'm fine.
Well, after we got David
away from the Tyrannos,
we just stayed out of the
way and watched the show.
Yeah. I don't think the Tyrannos
will ever mess with
these weapons again.
Heh, good.
Then let's get out of here
before the police come back
and find us instead
of the Tyrannos.
Well, even though
the police are gone,
there's still a crowd.
I have a plan.
Of course you do.
[PEOPLE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
[♪♪♪]
Thank you, thank
you. It was nothing.
MAN: Hey, look, it's Tinky Boo.
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
Dinosaucers ♪
Dinosaucers ♪
Dinosaucers ♪
RYAN: We used to be
four ordinary teenagers,
until one day, we
met some new friends
from out of town.
[♪♪♪]
They were called Dinosaucers.
My friends and I became
the Secret Scouts,
allies to these Dinosaucers
from outer space.
And joined in their battles
against Genghis Rex
and the evil Tyrannos.
[ROARS]
The Dinosaucers are
leaving, Bossasaur.
Well, follow them.
Dinosaucers ♪
Dinosaucers ♪
[♪♪♪]
I'm tired of excuses.
Why is taking so
long to conquer earth.
Maybe we need better weapons.
That's an idea.
But where do we get them?
ENKILO: Yoo-hoo, bossasaurus,
I know, I know.
Why do I find that
hard to believe?
No, this time I'm right.
I've been monitoring
earth's television. Look.
[GUNFIRE]
MAN [ON MONITOR]: So get your
rapid fire rifle today and feel the power.
Batteries and liability
insurance not included.
Impressive. Is there more?
Yes, oh, great and
terrible lizard. Look at this.
MAN [ON MONITOR]: So get
your commando man kit today
and be the first
one on your block
to be the last
one on your block.
This is perfect. Is
there anything else?
Yes, ouch, one more,
oh menacing master.
[ Beeps ]
MAN [ON MONITOR]: So
get your Tinky Boos today.
The only love that
money can buy.
[ALL SCREAM]
How horrible!
[♪♪♪]
I wouldn't use a weapon like
that against my worst enemy.
These humans have no mercy.
Still if I could gather
all of these human
weapons in one place
I would have the greatest
armory on earth or Reptilon.
But they are
gathered in one place.
They are? How convenient. Where?
Here. It's called
G.E.T. Schmaltz.
And it's in a place
they call New York City.
We'll go there at once.
Simply having the
weapons is not enough.
How would we learn to use them?
There were human
hatchlings with the weapons.
We will get one of those
miserable Secret Scouts
to tell us how they work.
But what if they won't talk?
Don't worry, Enkilo, I have
ways of making them talk.
[♪♪♪]
ENKILO: There's one
of the Secret Scouts.
Terrible Dactel, get
ready. TERRIBLE: Roger.
DAVID: Oh, no! Tyrannos.
Time to fly out of here.
REX: Terrible Dactel. DAVID: No!
Let me go, you
leather-winged wimp.
No way, mammal. Ghengis
Rex has a job for you.
How do we get to
the street from here?
Jump, King Kong.
When you hear the
splat, you're there.
The elevator is
this way, chiefasaur.
I see that! And don't
call me chiefasaur!
Now, human, you will
lead us to G.E.T. Schmaltz.
G.E.T. Schmaltz? Why
do you want to go there?
That is no concern of yours!
Okay, okay, don't get so testy.
I was just wondering.
Well, don't!
And don't try
anything funny either.
I don't want to attract
attention so just act normal.
I'll act as normal as I can
walking down a city street
while being kidnapped
by three evolved dinosaurs.
[♪♪♪]
MAN: Hey, look.
Wow, great costumes.
Everyone seems to be into this
new dinosaur craze these days.
Silly human.
Dinosaurs have
always been a craze.
At least in sensible
places. Humans are a fad.
Uh, sir, can I have
your autograph?
[ALL CHATTERING]
Certainly. Soon you will
recognize me as your new master.
Oh, tyrant lizard king,
we have to get going.
You must be the monster
in the movie, right?
I've never seen
such an ugly mask.
Huh?
[GROWLING]
Stuck-up movie stars.
So much for that,
fang face, it's closed.
We can't get in.
We'll see about that. Open it!
Your wish is my command,
your high and
mighty Ghengisness.
Hurry up, you fool.
I want those weapons now.
Weapons? What weapons?
Ow!
[LAUGHING]
Hey, give me back
my polidactool.
That wasn't funny.
How did you get in here anyway?
[GROANING]
Are you kidding? I wouldn't
miss this for the world.
Any world.
Enough of this useless
merriment! Open the door.
Of course, Rex.
Immediately, Rex.
ENKILO: At last.
REX: Come along, human,
and make yourself useful.
Oh, mighty Rex. Look at this.
Yes. Yes indeed!
Yes, this is just what we need.
Only a model, heh.
The others must
be stored elsewhere.
That doesn't
matter. I want these.
That's odd.
It didn't blow anything
up. You. Human.
What is wrong with
these weapons?
Why don't they work?
They're just toys.
Children playthings, that's all.
Nonsense, human!
I have seen tapes
of their operation
on your own television
broadcasts. They're powerful.
They're harmless. My baby sister
does more damage than these do.
Heh, Rex, I found
one that works.
Show me.
Heh, huh, funny. It
worked just a moment ago.
No explosion. No nothing!
What is the secret of
this weaponry, mammal?
I want more than
just noises and light.
You just don't
believe me, do you?
We all know you humans
are full of sneaky tricks.
Well, you asked for
it. I'll tell you the truth.
You're playing around
with the wrong stuff.
What?
Those guns and stuff
aren't the dangerous
weapons. These are.
You're looking at the meanest,
most powerful arsenal
on the face of the earth.
Enough to blow your scales off.
Nonsense. They're horrible,
but they're just
cloth and stuffing.
You're wrong,
Tyrannos. If I wanted to,
I could make them beat
the stuffings out of you.
[REX LAUGHING]
Those? What can little
toys like that do to us?
You've got to activate
them, Rexy. Watch this.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
[GRUNTS]
So that's how it works.
They call this one
the blond bombshell.
[BOTH GRUNT]
Please stop it!
Okay. This is it. Here it goes.
[ALL GASP]
[ALL SIGH]
Whew, nearly
blew us all up there.
Uh, don't open that.
It'll blow your head off.
[LAUGHS]
[GRUNTS AND GROANS]
I warned you. You were
just lucky it wasn't armed.
[CHATTERING ON TV]
Yikes.
MAN [ON TV]: You
have been destroyed.
This machine could be
fatal in the wrong hands.
Mm, yes. Ours.
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]
[INDISTINC
CHATTERING OVER RADIO]
Attention. You in the
store. This is the police.
Come out with your
hands over your head.
This is perfect.
Now I will show your puny
earth militia our superiority.
With our new weapons.
Well, let's try out the
blond bombshell, heh.
Shall we?
[♪♪♪]
I repeat. Come out
with your hands up.
I am Genghis Rex.
We have your secret weapons
and one of your
human hatchlings.
Face my wrath, if you dare.
Oh, great. We've got a
nut case in a dinosaur suit.
We'll give them a
short time to disperse,
then we will destroy them
with their own arsenal.
What if we can't get the
Earth weapons to work?
Then I will fall back
on cruder methods
and fossilize the puny
mammals one by one.
[LAUGHS]
Control, we have a burglary.
There's a bunch of
weirdos in dinosaur suits
holding some kid
hostage in Schmaltz's.
Boy, you guys are really
serious about these toys.
I mean weapons.
Look, oh Genghis Rex.
I will activate these
monsters to serve us.
Obviously there's
something I'm missing here.
Mostly your brain, scalehead.
Don't waste time with
these tiny monsters.
Make these work instead.
I've gotta do
something about this,
except they're so funny
I hate to stop them.
[LAUGHING]
Oh, look at the bright colors.
These must be some kind
of concentrated power supply.
Let me have those.
If you drop them we
could all be doomed.
[BOTH SCREAMING AND GRUNTING]
We will activate the
best looking one first.
Which one, oh mighty Rex?
REX: The Tyrannosaurus,
of course, tail-for-brains!
Now, where is that
mammal gone off to?
Enkilo, go find him.
Oh, mammal, come out,
come out, little human.
Rex wants you.
Lava Dome. Come
in. Anybody home.
ALLO [OVER COMM]:
Allo here, David.
Tyranno trouble, Allo.
I'm at G.E.T.
Schmaltz's in New York.
Here's the story.
DAVID [OVER COMM]: So that's it.
But worst of all, the
police are outside.
They think the
Tyrannos are burglars.
We must have
tripped the silent alarm.
David, if we come in there,
the police are gonna
think we're Tyrannos too.
Worse than that,
they think you're crazy
humans in dinosaur suits.
Hmm, then we can't
let ourselves be seen.
DAVID [OVER COMM]: Maybe
you should let them see you.
You could lure
some of them away.
That's a good idea. A diversion.
Let's call the other
Secret Scouts.
DAVID [OVER COMM]: Right.
Meantime, Dimetro, I've got an idea.
So if Rex wants an army so
bad, let surprise him with one.
DIMETRO [OVER COMM]: I think
we can work something out for him.
I've got just the
reptool for the job.
Great. See you guys in a while.
Dinosaucers ♪
Dinosaucers ♪
What if they don't notice us?
Somehow I don't think
that's going to be our problem.
[♪♪♪]
[MACHINE BEEPING]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
It's one of those weirdos in
dinosaur suits. Get them, men.
Yup. They noticed us.
[♪♪♪]
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]
What is going on out there?
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
And where's that human?
Here I am. No, I'm over here.
No, I'm over here.
Boy, am I glad to see you guys.
How'd you get here so fast?
Allo dropped us
off in the shuttle,
and we brought a
special guest dino.
Are you all right? Yes, yes.
Get them! Get Allo and Dimetro
and those pesky mammals!
[♪♪♪]
I'll take care of this.
Everybody scatter.
Hurry! Get them. Follow them.
[GRUNTING]
In fact, I'll get those
mammals myself.
And teach them a
lesson they won't forget.
Hey, lookee here.
It's the Darth Warrior.
My man.
REX: Come back
here, you puny human.
You can't escape Genghis Rex.
DAVID: Hey, I'm
not even trying to.
PAUL: Me either, Rexy.
Wouldn't dream of it.
There he is, Rex.
Ugh, striking from
behind. Unfair.
[LAUGHS]
ENKILO: I'll get
you, Secret Scout.
PAUL: And hear the
wrath of the Darth Warrior.
[ENKILO GRUNTING AND GROANING]
Always wearing a cape.
Now what? We go find Dimetro,
because if we don't
do something soon,
Rex'll fossilize those
poor cops outside.
The police aren't
out there anymore.
They're busy chasing
Bronto Thunder
and Stego around New York.
Good. Then Dimetro
can try out his plan.
Are we ready?
We'll soon find out.
[ROARING]
I'll get those mammals now.
Stop them all. I must
have my weapons.
Oh, no!
[SCREAMS]
Oh, no. Not that!
[CRYING]
Anything but that.
[CHATTERING]
I can't stand it. They're cute.
No! No! Go away. Let me alone!
I surrender. Help.
ENKILO: Rex, Rex.
Help us! Help us!
Yes, help us.
Now stop that! Are
you mice or lizards?
Stand up like Tyrannos.
Behave like dinosaurs in
front of these mammals!
Stand up tall!
And head for the exits
in a dignified fashion.
[ALL SCREAMING]
[GRUNTS]
Where are the police?
We lost them in Central Park.
Is David all right?
I'm fine.
Well, after we got David
away from the Tyrannos,
we just stayed out of the
way and watched the show.
Yeah. I don't think the Tyrannos
will ever mess with
these weapons again.
Heh, good.
Then let's get out of here
before the police come back
and find us instead
of the Tyrannos.
Well, even though
the police are gone,
there's still a crowd.
I have a plan.
Of course you do.
[PEOPLE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
[♪♪♪]
Thank you, thank
you. It was nothing.
MAN: Hey, look, it's Tinky Boo.
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
Dinosaucers ♪
Dinosaucers ♪
Dinosaucers ♪