Doctor Who s08e87 Episode Script

The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot

- Got anything nice coming up? - You know, soso, just - a couple of nice products for Nick Frost, - Right.
David Nicholls next thing and Broadchurch II, of course.
- You? - ah, not bad actually, of to Prague first thing in the morning and then I'm going to do a series at site, but I can't really talk about that at the moment right now.
- Nice.
- What about The Five Doctors Reboot thing? - Naw, I couldn't get a lock in.
- Yeah, nor could I.
I'm usually in everything.
- The children have been very naughty! - Get back, now, quickly.
- You're doing your other voice.
- Yes, love, did you notice? - Naughty, naughty children! - RUN! Watch me run.
So, Doctor Who has been giong on for 50 years now.
That's right.
- Is there gonna be an anniversary special next year, Dad? - Oh, I'm sure there will be.
- Yeah, but will you be in it? - I don't know.
- I'm sure we'll have more than one Doctor.
- So, it could just be like Matt Smith and David Tennant.
- Well, I suppose it could be.
- GREAT! YEAH Matt: Peter, Peter, really this is such a great honour.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you so much.
You were always my mother's favourite.
You were always my favourite.
I have dedicated the 50th anniversary script to you.
Please sit down, Mr Davison.
You haven't changed a bit.
- You're so wonderful.
- Bless you.
I'll just put your costume in your Winnebago, Mr Davison.
You're dreaming, Pete.
They're not going to call you.
They're not going to call any of you.
They don't want you Pete.
- Get up and walk the dog, Pete.
- walk the Dog! No no, you don't understand.
You're my agent.
I'm just calling to see if they've rung about the 50th anniversary special.
You have no new messages.
That was John Barrowman there with I am what I am.
Lovely stuff Now talking John Barrowman, it's the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who And it's been announced today, there's to be a special on TV at the 50th anniversary.
Hope they invite all the old Doctors, as they used to do.
I hope they will.
- Who was your favourite Doctor? - Mine was probably Peter Cushing.
is not available.
Please leave a message after - Hello, I'm just checking in.
- Hello, sir, may i take your name, please.
- It's Peter Davison.
- Peter Davidson.
- Do I have any messages? - No.
Next.
It's for Kourtney.
With a 'K'.
- Ehm, Mr Davison, are you gonna be featured in the 50th anniversary? - NEXT.
- Doctor Who, Production Office.
- Hi, my name is Peter Davison, I was Doctor Nr.
5 actually in the classic era, way back in the day.
Still alive and kicking, you know, though.
Anyway, I just wanted to make sure that you had my mobile number, just in case Steven or anybody wanted to get in touch.
- 50th anniversary special and all that.
- Didn't you call yesterday? - Well, yes, I I may have called yesterday.
- No, you did call yesterday.
And the day before that.
You wanted to make sure I had the right number for you.
50th anniversary special and all that.
Look, i don't suppose Steven is there, is he? Please hold.
- Yes? - I've got another one on the phone.
- Which one? - Number five, I think? Tell him in a meeting and put him to the voicemail.
Now, then where were we? Yes Steven? And make sure, we are not disturbed for the rest of the day.
We? And then I could turn up with my sellery antidote and save Matt.
And it Message deleted.
Since all you've done the last 4 weeks is stare at that telephone, do you think there's a chance you might come and help me down in the garden? - Which part of the garden? - Oh, right down at the bottom.
Well the thing is, you don't get much of a signal down at the bottom.
Well, surely if somebody rings, they'll leave a message.
All right, though, I'll be there in a minute.
I just wanted to let Steven know, that although I'm filming The Hobbit at the moment, that's a big blockbuster movie, directed by Oscar-winning Peter Jackson, ahm, I think I will be available to film the 50th anniversa Oh, all right, I'll leave a voicemail.
Oh, all right then, yeah Hi Steven, Sylvester here, I'm filming The Hobbit at the moment, with Peter Jackson.
This is Colin Baker speaking, the 6th Doctor Who.
Could you put me through to What do you mean, oh no, not another one? who meets The Hobbit and I could be in it twice, and that Message deleted.
Next new message.
Steven, Colin here, how about this, the TARDIS materializes in the Jungle.
Exactly where I'm filming I'm a cele Doctors deleted.
You have no more messages.
Boys, can I talk to you for a moment? I'm afraid I have some very bad news.
It seems as a very real possibility, that I won't be in the 50th anniversary special.
I know it's a mistake, but somehow I've Right, OK.
Steven, Steven, Steven, Steven it's me, Steven It's me, isn't it? Now I will never know if I was right.
- Sylvester: What do you think he's doing? - Colin: Reading a script.
He's always reading scripts and filming.
Always filming.
It's probably for TV.
I mean who wants to do TV? It's not like it's a motion picture Oh shut up.
Look, this will be his agent, I guarantee it.
OK, I had a call from my contact.
I know he filming dates and I've got a plan.
- Your contact? Who is this contact? - I've picked up a lot of contacts over the years.
Oh I've picked up quite a few contacts while filming The Hobbit.
- Anyway, my contact - This contact wouldn't have a scottish accent and be married to your daughter, would he? Ah see, I cannot reveal that.
Well, that's perfect, 'cause that fits in with the other one, right? Yeah, excellent, excellent, listen by the way, not that I care at all, but you haven't hard from the BBC about that Doctor Who Special, have you? Nothing at all.
No no, it's OK.
It's fine.
Well, I'll speak to you soon.
Yeah, byebye.
Damn.
Do you think we should call Tom? - Call Tom? Why? - Well, he might want to join the team.
- Tom? - You call him then.
- Oh no, I don't think I should call him.
- It was your brilliant idea.
Oh for heavens sake, I've eaten possum anus on live television.
Can't be worse than that.
I'll call him.
Greetings, greetings, greetings.
Well I seem to be stuck in the sodding time vortex, again! So I can't assist you.
This is one of the many regrets of my life.
Good-bye my dears.
Whatever it is you're planning.
I'm in.
Work permitting, obviously.
I'd like to get more involved, but tomorrow I'm flying to Newzealand.
- I'm filming on The Hobbit.
- Oh, you're in The Hobbit? - I'd no idea.
- But when are you back? I don't know.
I mean sometimes I sit days and days in my trailer.
Oh get your priorities right, Sylvester.
I mean this is not some flash in the pan 500 Million Dollar picture.
This is important! I'd better be of home.
I'm expecting a special delivery.
- The package.
- Did you hide it? - No, I didn't think.
- Maybe he won't notice it? - He'll notice it.
- Oh yes! - Told you.
- Tada! One of my best.
You will love it! Many say, it's a classic.
Bought of course to replace the one, that strangely went missing.
Great news though, this one has extra features.
Even more of me.
You're waisting your time.
I've locked all the doors.
I warned you, this might happen.
He likes to keep us hanging around in case he has a moments inspiration.
Probably won't.
Yes, all right.
I will.
Good luck then.
Bye.
Oh, to hell with it.
Let's live dangerously.
Colin, we're on.
Thursday morning.
You know where.
- Sugar? - Ah, decisions.
- Will it make a difference? - What? - Every great decision creates ripples.
- In your tea? Like a big bolder dropping in a lake.
Sylvester, it you don't stop quoting yourself, I'll put you back on a plane myself.
It cannot be wrong, actually.
Oh, what's the use of a good quote, if you can't change it? - You're all right? - I don't know, I have this sinking feeling Sylvester! They're ready for you on set.
Sylvester? - Do you think we should join him? - No, leave him to it.
- What's happened to Paul? - Filming commitments.
Typical! - TV? - Don't start.
Oh dear Ian, there is a problem with Sylvester.
- Sylvester who? - McCoy.
A little bloke.
Bird poo.
He's just gone.
His trailer was empty, he's left a note.
Some garbled nonsense about Doctor Who.
The same old stuff.
It's like He's gone.
Is there any chance, Sir Ian, that you would you be able to do the scene by yourself? Well, I tell you what, Peter, I think it might be a slight improvement.
- Hi Peter.
- Hi John.
You know they film in Cardiff, don't you? Bugger! - John! - John, wait for us, please, - John! - Wait for us, - Damn it.
- John John - John! - John any Any chance of a lift to Cardiff? Hey guys, I can't.
I'm sorry.
I'm out of town tonight.
Who are in the car with you? - Blimey! - I had no idea.
Well, we'll leave you to it then.
Don't tell anyone, please.
- Daddy, I'm hungry.
- And I've told you, you've to clear out the spare room for Mum's visit.
- hungry.
- So get back in the car and let's go home.
NOW! Yes Daddy, now, I'm gonna scream.
Iiiiiiiiiiii Hey guys, let's do it.
Let's rock'n roll.
("John sings") Oh what a beautiful morning anything goes ( sings) What I aaaaaaaam Tada! - This way.
- Hang on, isn't this the Oi! - No, no, we're erm - That's 45£, please.
Where are we going now? Oh You really are from another planet, you know that? - This is not the real TARDIS.
- Really? I'd like to go home now.
Plan B.
I'know, I'know, but Dad said, if you do this one last thing, then he'll stop calling us.
- OK, OK, OK, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it.
I'll better do it now, because hey need me back on set in 5 minutes.
- OK, call you later.
- One more thi Ah never mind.
Something else I ment to ask her about ? - And push! - Aaarrrrggggh Right, let's go.
Hang on, one thing.
Why are we doing this? - Why? - Well I've travelled 12'000 miles to get here, I'm in breach of contract, my filming career is in tatters and for what? He's right.
What is the point? Why are we doing all this? - For the fans.
- Of course.
For the fans.
Right! For the fans.
Let's go.
Right.
Let's do it.
That's not right.
It's a bit busy, isn't it? I liked the old minimalist TARDIS.
Don't like all these stairs.
Much to energetic.
And what the heck are those things? Have they turned it into a helicopter? What's happened to all the lovely bright light, we had in the old days? I can't be doing this athmospheric lighting nonsense.
- I like to see what I'm doing.
- Look at this.
Look you lean on this nothing happens.
Doesn't wobble at all.
- I used to love the old wobble.
- Come on.
- Let's find out where they're filming.
- Yeah, right.
Settle down, studio.
And action! So, what now? (Smith: Ah, it's his grunge phase.
) Yes, how do we actually get in it? (Smith: He grows out of it.
) They're quite good, aren't they? (Tennant: Ooh! The desktop is glitching.
) (Hurt: Three of us from different time zones, it's trying to compensate.
) The thing is, I never really thought, we'd get this far.
(Smith: Hey, look, the round things.
) (Tennant: I love the round things.
) - So no plan C then? (Tennant: What ARE the round things?) No.
And, cut! Move it of.
Right.
Scene ninteen.
Can we have three Daleks on set, please.
Everyone involved scene 19, please make their way to the studio imediately.
Right.
That's us, lads.
Time to give our all.
Oi, oi, let us out! - Some Tie racks locked the door.
- What? Oi, oi I'm still waiting for my three Daleks.
Listen to me, you can not afford to be late.
You are lucky enought to have a part in the 50th anniversary special of Doctor Who.
Right, that is something, that makes you a part of the history of the show.
That is something you will never forget.
You understand? Let us out.
Ah, it's their loss, brothers, that's the way I see it.
Their loss.
Thank you very much.
Moving on to the TARDIS set.
Thank you Daleks, that's you done.
Colin: Gentlemen, I think we've done it.
Sylvester: We certainly have.
Peter: Brilliant! Peter: So, how do we get out? Sylvester: Ah? Peter: Erm hello? Team, I think we have intruders - Hello? - Help! Hello? It says here 'the Dalek operators are also playing Zygons'.
No, no, that's a mistake.
Our work here is done.
Zygons? Who on earth are Zygons? - I'm sure we've booked you for the whole day.
- Sorry, must dash.
Three of them, dressed in stupid clothes.
Illegal Aliens, I shouldn't wonder.
Ah, no sign of 'em here, Derek.
(Barrowman sings: I am what I am) - Des, come in Des.
- Aye, Derek.
Oi! Can I have a word with you.
Des, any sign of them at your end? Hang on Derek, I'm in the middle of something here.
- So, is that Rosie with en "ie" or an "y".
- An "ie".
- "ie" - That's great, thank you.
- Pretty name pour a fellow.
- It's such an honour.
- Any chance of you unlocking the gates? - Ah, no.
I can get Derek down, if you really Oh, no no no, don't bother.
We'll cut through the studio.
- That will be easier, to go through the studio.
- There you are.
Thank you so much.
Honour.
- Thank you.
- Our pleasure.
Bye.
Sylvester: Oh I've got his pen.
Right everyone.
This is the Undergallery scene.
- Any sign of them? - No, not yet.
I did meet three awesome blokes though.
Three? Oh! OK, can I get everyone of the floor, please? We're doing a rehearsal.
Sorry guys, unless you've got 50th anniversary clearance, you'll have got to get of the set.
please? Right everyone, this is the Undergallery scene.
- And Cheers.
- Cheers.
Exterminate.
You can stop now.
I think we've gotten everything.
Cut.
You have to say 'cut'.
Sorry.
And cut.
Thank you so much.
- What's that one doing over there? - Oh, that's the making of documentary - Are you in seventh heaven? - I'm all in sixes and seventh.
I was expecting this one.
I'm not here right now, please leave a message.
Hi, Peter, hello, hi, it's Russel T here, Russel THE Davis.
Funny.
Erm, I just thought i'd phone you because I heard, that you're doing this video for the 50th anniversary, and i thought Well, I thought I could be in it.
Because let's face it, there wouldn't actually be a 50th anniversary without me, without Russel T.
I had the idea I could apear at the end.
I could like sort of I could save you all.
You could be all trapped and I could save you and Or you could all die.
And I could just be left there I become the Doctor.
I'm a Timelord and I could have a catchphrase I could have a great catchphrase like My catchphrase could be 'quel d'hommage' Like quel d'hommage Davros.
Like and erm and I could instead of a Sonic Screwdriver, I could have a beam coming from my eyes Sonic beam You have one new message.
The next message is 27 minutes long.
Hi, Peter, hello, hi, it's Russel T here, Russel THE Davis.
Funny.
Erm, I'd just thought you I phone you be Message deleted.
You have no more messages.
- Happy? - Verry happy.
Great.
Up next is scene 19.
- The Daleks attac.
- Scene 19.
19, right.
Three Daleks.
- Shall we start? - Just wondering if we need it - Works as well without it.
- They are Daleks.
- We're overrunning by ten minutes.
- Are we? Great, let's cut it then.
Subbed by Iltu OK, so, up next is the Undergallery scene.
That scene is definitively in, but I think we're gonna have to look at all the footage.
All the footage, right from the top.
OK.
- I better take this.
- OK, that is not enough.
I wanted it covered from here all the way back to here.
OK there is not enough Oh, Zygons, right.
Erm, OK, you should be in costume, but probably doesn't matter for this shot.
Can we get shrouds for the Zygons, please.
And then if you guys can just Quick as you can.
Get the hat of! - How is it looking? - Perfect.
Couldn't be better.
So - here is take one.
- Welcome to the Under Gallery.
This is where Elizabeth the First kept all art deemed to dangerous for public consumption.
- Stone dust.
- Is it important? In 1.
200 years, I've never stepped in anything that wasn't.
- What can you tell? - Come on.
- The taste.
- Oh nothing, I'm just a bit peckish