DuckTales (2017) s01e12 Episode Script

The Missing Links of Moorshire!

1 [HUEY] Precision.
Men in funny hats.
Welcome to the Duckburg Billionaire's Club Golf Invitational, the only golf tournament to take place on the world's most exotic and expensive courses.
This year sees Scrooge McDuck facing off against Flintheart Glomgold, here at scenic Moorshire, the birthplace of golf.
I'm Huey Duck, attempting to earn my Junior Woodchuck Merit Badge for Sports Commentary.
I'll be here all day providing nuanced analysis Are you ready for some golf?! [SIGHS] The badge does require a co-commentator.
Two combatants.
One hole.
No rules.
That's not actually Watch out! Aah! Get excited, kids.
Golf is in our blood! Your ancestor, "Black Donald" McDuck, actually invented the sport.
Of course, he lost so badly that the ensuing temper tantrums caused King James to ban golf across all of Scotland.
And we're proud of that in some way? I dunno, man.
Go-carts? Hitting things really hard with sticks? Not being grounded for said hitting? Sounds kind of awesome.
It's a sport where you try not to score points to make it end sooner.
Hard pass.
Trust me, you'll love it.
The quiet strategy.
The intense focus.
- The Aah! - [HORN BLOWS] Semi-permanent hearing loss.
Go Scrooge! Boo Glomgold! Yay custom T-shirts! - [INHALES] - [HORN BLOWS] I'm glad you're excited, dear, but this sport requires a certain decorum.
[HUEY] Everybody move! This lake will be used for the swimming portion of the competition.
Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Race cars, lasers, airplanes It's a duck-blur We might solve a mystery Or rewrite history Ducktales, whoo-ooh Every day they're out there making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of derring-do Bad and good-luck tales Whoo-ooh D-d-danger lurks behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab on to some Ducktales Whoo-ooh Every day they're out there Making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of daring bad and good Not phony tales or cottontails - No, Ducktales! - Whoo-ooh! All right, Webbigail, care to What are you doing? Oh, sorry.
I've never been to a sport before.
But don't worry, I'm gonna be the best fan! Did you want to give it a go? I'm good.
Golf clap! Uh, how about you, lad? Up for a Hm? No.
Not even a little.
Are you guys kidding me? A chance to learn the sport our family invented from the greatest player who ever lived, I assume because I don't follow golf? - I want in.
- Atta boy! Let's hone that wildly misplaced enthusiasm, shall we? We'll start with your swing.
Practice all you want, McDuck! You won't be winning this year.
You say that every year, Flinty.
And every year you go home crying.
My eyes dry out very easily! But this year I'll prove that I'm the best Scottish billionaire golfer! I've hired the world's best player to be my caddie! Okay, if you want to be a winner, just follow these three rules [GASPS] I'm already a winner! Nobody tells Flintheart Glomgold what to do! You're fired! Oh! [STRAINING] You there! Green one! How would you like the honor of caddying under the great Flintheart Glomgold? Eh.
A chance to bask in the collective glory of victory? Blergh.
I tip by the hole.
Ehh, if I'm gonna be bored, I may as well get paid for it.
Ha! Your own nephew's abandoning you! Soon, there'll be nobody left to support you - [EXPLOSION] - [ALL GASP] Sorry.
Timer went off early.
[HORN BLOWING] Here we are, moments away from the Classic's opening coin toss.
Glomgold now very obviously switching the official coin for one that has "heads" on both sides.
[LAUNCHPAD] Very sneaky.
[HUEY] He tosses the double-headed coin, - and Glomgold has called tails.
- What? Aah! Glomgold, clearly embarrassed, now trying to throw the coin into the ocean.
- [LAUNCHPAD] He does not make it.
- [SHOUTING ANGRILY] [HUEY] Scrooge, desperate to move things along, has agreed to let Glomgold "win" the coin toss.
Wow, what a game.
See ya next time, everybody.
It hasn't even Launchpad! That coin toss was only the beginning, Scrooge! The moment of reckoning is at hand, and lo We've got another ten minutes of gloating before he takes a shot.
Let's work on your drive.
Hey, get back here! I'll show you how a real golfer would play this hole! All right, boy, how would your uncle play this hole? Uh, just Why don't ya hit the ball in the hole, I guess? Hit the ball in the hole? Of course! I've been over-thinking it this entire time! Holy haggis! It stayed on the course! It went forward.
I'm not on fire.
That might be the best shot I've ever taken! Nice work, caddie! Focus.
Filter out all distraction.
Go Scrooge! Now remember: Hips back.
Shoulders down.
Tail tucked.
Controlled swing.
[GRUNTING] Was that okay? Ha ha! You're a natural.
A little unpolished, sure, but if we can focus that swing, you'll be almost as good as me one day.
Really? With a teacher like you, he could be even better! Really?! Or, you know, nearly as good, but not quite.
After years of hard work and practice.
No need to get the boy's hopes up.
[GLOMGOLD] Scrooge! Quit stalling! You're up! Scrooge, the returning champion, approaching the first hole.
[GOBBLING] He's probably worried Glomgold will use his one free tackle before the speed round in the third quarter.
What do you think is happening here? One heck of a game! Taking his time with the shot Tell me about it.
Just hit the ball! Aah! Ohh Ouch! And it's deep in the rough.
Ha ha! Nice shot, Scroogey! Decide to take a shortcut through the weeds? Unless Boy! Why didn't you tell me about the shortcut through the weeds?! Oh, I can't believe it.
I haven't had a shot that bad in 40 years.
Scrooge went for the classic "magic forest stones" bonus.
Risky, but it paid off.
Oooh, it wasn't a shortcut.
The great McDuck finally hit a right clunker! I did not! I was simply getting a lay of the terrain.
See, the key to a good golf game Take the penalty and let's get back to the course.
A Scotsman plays it where it lands.
McDuck? Heavenly hollyhock.
[WEBBY] Mythical glowing stones.
Mysterious teleportation circles.
[GASPS] Do you know what this means? No more golf! Whoo-hoo! Does anybody see any clues about where we are? There are these two orbs.
Hmm, interesting.
And it looks like they'd fit in that hole over there.
Aah! Cannae touch the blasted things.
- [ZAPPING] - [GLOMGOLD] Aah! - [ZAPPING] - Aah! Maybe we can use these clubs.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Guys, it's golf.
It's still golf! Okay, that's it, I'm going home.
[RUMBLING] [GASPS] Where did home go? Welcome back to the Billionaire's Club Classic, where, in a bizarre turn of events, the players have become trapped in some sort of mystical faerie realm.
But they remain undeterred.
For more, we go to two tiny horses.
What are you Aah! [HIGH-PITCHED] Greetings! We're Briar and Bramble, the keepers of this realm.
Talking animals wearing clothes?! Oh, no, did we die? Are we in Webby heaven? Bet you're all wondering what this place is.
It's a mystical golf course, right? Did ancient Scottish Druids build a secret course so they could keep playing golf, even after Black Donald got it banned? Uh, yep.
That's all correct.
Here, hop on our backs! We'll give you a tour.
Ohh! Wait.
Why are your manes wet? [GASPS] You're kelpies, aren't you? You tempt people onto your backs, then carry them off into the sea! Oh, no, no, no, no.
We just got out of the shower, that's all.
Hmm? Hmm! Fine.
That is generally our plan.
Come on, Bramble.
If they're sooo smart, they must know all about the treasure at the end of the course.
Treasure? Treasure? First to complete this course will win the priceless Druid's Cup.
Thus proving them to be the finest golfer in every plane of reality! Ooh! Uh-huh.
Well anyone else think we should ignore the murder ponies and go home? You'll all be sent home safely as soon as you finish the course.
That is, if you finish the course.
Did we mention the trophy has custom engraving? Ooh! Dewey, you've found your calling.
Easy, lad.
You can't just flail that thing at random anymore.
There's too much at stake.
If we lose the ball, we don't go home.
We have got to play smart.
You might want to get started.
It can be awful hard to play once those mists roll in.
Come on, we're wasting time! Caddie! My clubs! Caddie? Ahem.
Hop on our backs.
We'll take you to the next hole and definitely not to a watery grave.
You are the least fun victims ever.
What the?! Aw, shoulda seen that coming.
How? How could he have possibly seen that coming? Give it back, you overgrown puddle! Aah! Caddie! Help! Ohh! [STRAINING] Here! Oh, it's like you don't even want to be rescued.
- [ZAPPING] - [GLOMGOLD] Aah! Old golf tip: Let flinty spring that trap, the rest is just patience.
Patience! Uh! If you'd just let me Not the time for a reckless clobber.
Come on, ya blasted tentacle! And besides, you cannae just sub in.
It's against the rules of golf.
[BRIAR] It's okay! Druid Golf allows for twosomes! Water's great, by the way! Oh, give it a go.
But don't get too discouraged if you don't make it.
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uhh! Go Dewey! Good shot, lad.
Very proud of you.
You don't sound proud.
Yeah! Scrooge and Dewey, taking on the world, one hole at time! [HUEY] There you have it.
Another brash young upstart destined to surpass his aging mentor.
Is the commentary still necessary? It helps me feel in control during a frankly insane situation.
I like talking this way 'cause it makes everything sound important.
Baloney trampoline.
[MUSIC PLAYING] [GRUMBLING] Nailed it! Whoo-hoo, yeah! Go Dewey! Scrooge, still in the lead on the 17th hole, but Glomgold is closing in.
Hey, so is that weird mist.
Nice job.
Nice job.
Aaand nice job.
Not nice enough.
Glomgold's gonna pass us! You bet your ballast I am! I'll prove once and for all I'm the best golfer in this or any other Aah! Caddie! I'm pretty sure I can get it to the hole with one swing.
Let me go.
And risk dumping it down into the water? Absolutely not.
[BRIAR, IMITATING WEBBY] Aw, give him a chance.
If he hits it in the water, we can jump on the kelpies to get it! I'm the small girl duck.
You can trust me.
Oh, whoop! [SPLASH] Come on.
I can do this! Do what? Whack the ball blindly? Into the hole! Yes! Like I've been doing all day.
Why don't you trust me to make this? You don't have the experience.
It takes time, effort - Hey! - [GRUNTING] - Ha ha ha ha ha! - [CHEERING] [DEWEY] It's so easy! No! [GROWLING] I'm sorry.
I just knew I could, so I You pull a club out of a Scotsman's hand, you'd best be prepared to knock him out with it! Hey, I made the shot.
You disobeyed me and risked the entire game with your showboating! I'm showboating? This whole thing has been about how great you are.
You're so worried that someone might actually be better than you at something that you keep See here, I am an inter-dimensionally ranked golfer! Whatever.
I'm over this dumb sport anyway.
Finish the course so we can go home.
Now hold on.
I didn't mean to - [WHACK] - [GLOMGOLD] Outta the way, McDuck! Hah! [HUEY] The last hole.
Looks like some sort of Hall of Fame.
Well, your old Uncle Scrooge will be joining it soon enough, eh? Let's get this over with.
Scrooge, lining up, and none too soon.
Morale is not high.
Uh, Mr.
McDuck? Those mists are getting really close.
Well, that's ominous.
[HUEY] And he hooks it onto the wall.
Nice work.
How are you going to get up there? [GLOMGOLD] It's happening.
I'm one stroke away from claiming the trophy and beating Scrooge McDuck! As soon as I take this swing, I, Flintheart Glomgold, will be the winner of the Billionaire's Club Classic.
Sure, you may have won the previous 27, but I think we can all agree this one counts more than the rest combined.
Uh, Flinty? Stuff it, Scrooge.
I'm savoring the moment.
Caddie, savor with me.
Caddie? [GROWLS] Um Oh.
I see.
Curse you, McDuck! Curse you and my love of moment-savoring! Aah! The mist turns people to stone! Those statues used to be real golfers! [SINISTER LAUGHTER] Oh, by the way, the mists of Moorshire? They turn mortals to stone.
Those statues are You just said all that, didn't you? So you're doomed.
Better to let us drown you instead.
Let's go! [ALL] No! You people are no fun.
We have to finish the course.
Those hoofed hostiles said it would get us home.
[GRUNTING] Everybody! We need to support Scrooge! Why? He hasn't supported me all day.
No, we need to support Scrooge.
Not everything is a life lesson! [ALL STRAINING] Louie! Hand me the club! Oh, right, sure.
Nope, not the time.
Oh, my.
Scrooge, taking his time, I'm not sure why.
There are lives at stake.
Wait, whose? Oh, right.
[GROANS] This has been Huey Duck, signing off! Man, I hate this sport.
[WEBBY] Come on, Scrooge, I know you can do it.
Webby! Guys! No! What are you waiting for? Take the stupid shot! - Not me.
- What? I cannae make the shot.
You can.
I know you can do it.
Okay, okay.
Filter out all distractions.
Hips back.
Shoulders down.
Tail tucked.
Aah! Whack the ball! Whack the ball! [BELL RINGS] Yes! - Aah! - Oof! You did it, lad! I knew you could! [BRIAR] Congratulations, champions! You are the first players to ever complete the Druid's Cup.
Go on.
You earned it.
[DEWEY] "Scroge" and "Douise"? Sorry.
It was a rush job.
We really didn't expect you to make it.
Now, who's up for a victory swim? [ALL] No! Yaah! You! You let me turn to stone! You're the worst caddie ever! You're fired! As soon as you help me out.
Ahh! - [WHACK] - [GLOMGOLD SCREAMS] You know, we could use another player for next year's Invitational.
I'd love someone who actually gave me a run for my money.
Eh, I think my pro career is over.
I'm going out on top.
Still, I'd be up for a friendly round now and then.
Sounds grand.
Whooo! Screwy for life! In your face, everybody who's not them! Whoo-hoo! Maybe just the two of us.
Well, there you have it, folks.
Scrooge let go of his ego and learned that a good teacher's pride should be in his student, not himself.
That's actually a good insight.
Wow, I'm impressed, Launchpad.
And you're choking on golf balls.
They look like tasty eggs! I resisted for so long!