DuckTales (2017) s01e17 Episode Script

From the Confidential Case Files of Agent 22!

1 Now, set your eyes to "Otto," 'cause you're watching the Ottoman Empire all-day marathon! - [ALL EXCLAIMING] - Overpriced artisanal furniture! Living room protocol.
Use a coaster.
And must you fill the fine china with cheesy puffs? [SIGHS] Hmm? [GROANS, SEETHES] [GRUNTS] [GROANING] [GRUNTING] Getting low on Cherry Pep, Mrs.
[GRUNTS, GROANS] - Greetings, Agent 22.
- Black Heron? - [GROANS] - [BODY THUDS] Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Race cars, lasers, airplanes It's a duck-blur We might solve a mystery Or rewrite history Ducktales, whoo-ooh Every day they're out there making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of derring-do Bad and good-luck tales Whoo-ooh D-d-danger lurks behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab on to some Ducktales Whoo-ooh Every day they're out there Making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of daring bad and good Not phony tales or cottontails - No, Ducktales! - Whoo-ooh! - [TV THEME PLAYS] - [YAWNS] [MAN ON TV] This is a rough job.
But when the going gets tough [ALONG WITH MAN ON TV] The tough get tufting! - Whoo! - [WEARILY] Whoo! Morning, Mr.
McDuck! Oh, uh, good morning, Webbigail.
Where's your granny? She didn't bring up my nutmeg tea this morning.
Oh, I can make your tea! Whoop! That's really not [SIGHS] All right.
- It's one droplet of - Milk! A light stir, not to fully dissolve the nutmeg.
Oh, and don't worry, it's the same teabag we've been using all month.
Mmm! Ahh! Taste the savings.
- How do you know - Oh, I know everything about you.
Um, wouldn't you rather be with the boys? So, what are your thoughts on sword horses? You know, unicorns.
This book says you've encountered one.
Warrior poets that can impale their enemies! Are they the best? Oh! Want me to get your breakfast? Uh, I'll get it myself.
- [GASPS] - Greats sacks of delirium! Maybe Donald tried to make an omelet again? Impossible.
He still hasn't figured how to get out of the pantry.
Ooh, Agent 22! Wonderful.
You're early.
- We can begin with the - Director Von Drake! I've been reading the Black Heron Case File.
Very intriguing.
According to our intelligence, she's a real bad egg.
Martial artist, robotics engineer, and chemist-turned counter-agent.
- Yes, and apparent - Apparently she's after the last page of the legendary Great Book.
The page was recently unearthed at Castle Dunwyn.
[PROJECTOR CLICKING] Right! And it is said to contain It is said to contain a dangerous secret.
Well, did you know that she is working for I bet you that FOWL is behind this.
That's the [TOGETHER] Fiendish Organization for World Larceny! The page is up for auction tonight here in London.
Heron will make a play for it then.
Unless we can get it first.
Well if you were so smart, you would know this is an exclusive high-class auction.
Luckily we have acquired a VIP invitation, thanks to a wealthy freelance operative.
- Wait, what? - Agent 22, meet your new partner: McDuck.
Scrooge McDuck.
[SNORING] [BLUBBERS] Ha-ha! Had a late night catching that pesky Jack the Tripper, and there was some celebrating afterwards.
- You mind returning these to the queen? - [SEETHES] Now, on to the super-secret secret agent equipment.
Already have a cane.
Ho, ho, ho! Not like this.
Meet the Von Drake Action Cane PPK, equipped with a number of unique gadgets, which if used not correctly could kill you instant Yeah, I'm sure I'll figure it out.
Let's roll, 22! - Adventure awaits! - [ALL COUGHING, EXCLAIMING] [VON DRAKE] That was the "not correctly" I was talking about.
[MAN ON TV] all-day marathon! I'm off for a little trip.
Uncle Donald's in the pantry if you need anything.
If I don't come back, it's been a pleasure knowing you all.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Uh-huh, sure.
Shh! So, where are we going? "We" are going nowhere.
But you are going to save Granny, aren't you? If she's in trouble, I wanna help! She would want you safe at home.
That's final.
Ah! There you are.
We'll be arriving in a couple hours, Mr.
Remember, this trip needs to remain a secret, Launchpad.
No one should know where we're going.
Way ahead of you.
Ready for some action, cane? - [ENERGY PULSING] - [EXCLAIMS] What are you doing here? The action cane, that black feather, those coordinates That can only mean an Agent 22-McDuck spy adventure! Oh! With Granny missing, can I be your partner on this one? Please give me a chance! I'm trained in espionage, counter-espionage, I'm super good at secret-keeping Hmm.
We're too far to turn back now, - but you'll be safe on the sub.
Blindfold slipped.
Still no clue where we are.
On second thought I can come? First-ever Webby-McDuck team-up! This is not a normal adventure.
You'll need to follow my lead.
Now, just follow my lead.
McDuck? Ladies and gentleman, ladies and gentlemen, let's start our bidding with the last page from the Great Book, a priceless artifact for medieval enthusiasts.
So, what's on it exactly? [SCROOGE] Alchemy.
Formulas for potions and elixirs.
Legend has it that the high priests of Castle Dunwyn were mentored by mystical creatures from the nearby glen, creatures with untold powers.
- Untold powers? - Yes.
If you believe that sort of thing.
FOWL seems to.
How do you know so much about all this? Untold chaos.
Dark artifacts.
A man has his hobbies.
[CHUCKLES, GULPS] There's Black Heron.
Stick to the plan: outbid her, win the page.
Shall we start the bidding at 25,000 pounds? Do I have 25? 25.
Do I hear 50,000? We are at 50,000.
- And 60,000.
- [GROWLS] 70,000.
Do I hear 80 anyone? You, sir, - the sweaty grump in the derby? - [SEETHING] What are you doing? Bid! The agency only gave me 60,000.
What, you expect me to chip in myself? You are a billionaire! And sold for 70,000 to the lovely young woman - who appears to be jumping out the window.
- [GASPING] - [GRUNTS] - [BEEPING] - [BEEPING] - And now we can steal it from her for free! I just saved SHUSH a lot of money.
You're welcome.
Aah! I know you think this is just a fun little excursion, but listen Yep.
Super serious.
Got it.
Aw! Look at its jaunty hat! Pip, pip to you, mysterious orb! Webbigail, quiet! [GULPS] [SCREAMING] Protocol 414.
Don't arouse suspicion.
Maintain camouflage.
[GROANS, GASPS] The lair's guard.
It spotted us.
That thing? [LAUGHS] Don't underestimate its adorable appearance.
It's actually an elite killing machine, not some adorably jovial globule.
- [BOINGING] - I know! That's a vintage series 2 Troububble C-20! Filled with Incendium! It'll ignite anything it lands on.
So cool! You know, most kids wouldn't get this excited about impending doom.
- Louie mostly just cries.
From Incendium to helium! [SQUEAKING] I haven't seen a maneuver that impressive since Next time, read the file.
If you know your situation, then you know how to conqueror it.
- Wh-What is it? - Strange berry bushes.
They don't look native to the island.
Could be poisonous.
- [GASPING] - They weren't.
What is wrong with you? There are rules! Protocol! Loosen up, 22! Ya gotta be willing to make things up as you go along.
I didn't get this far in life by following the rules.
And now you're dying.
I got a stem caught in my throat.
[COUGHS] Anyway, onward.
[WHIMPERS] What is it now? Should we have a battle cry to strike fear in our enemies? - What do you have in mind? - Get ready to lose bad, baddies! - [VOICE ECHOING] - Eh, what she said.
[GRUNTS] Just had to yell a battle cry, didn't you? [GASPING] Come on, ya blasted bucket of bolts, let's wallop! [GASPING, EXCLAIMS] [GASPS] Ha! [GULPS] [CRIES OUT] [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] [GRUNTS] Good show, 22.
That was going to be so impressive.
Anyway, shall we? We have to chase after that last robot.
- No loose ends.
- Bah.
We won't be seeing him again.
[GRUNTS] How are you still functioning? [EXCLAIMS] Hyah! - [ROBOT POWERS DOWN] - Ha-ha! Anyway, shall we? Ah! Ugh! This is worse than when they were alive.
Hyah! Impressive.
All those years in my house, we should have done something like this sooner.
Granny always told me to never bother you.
If you wanted to do something, you'd come to me.
But you were always so busy with your business and your grumbling.
But I was busy too.
with Granny's training and my research about you, so, you know, we both had our own things going on.
I guess you could say I've been prepping for a McDuck-Agent 22 adventure my whole life.
You know so much about me, and I feel I know so little about you.
Oh come on.
You know about me.
Like, my favorite color is Pink! And my favorite booby trap is spike pits.
Favorite storm is tropical cyclone meets thunder snow.
I know your favorite drink Nutmeg tea.
But I saw you down a whole pot not this morning.
Oh, no.
That was just to impress you.
I kind of can't stand it.
Juice, you say? I'll get it right next time.
I promise.
Heron's lab.
McDuck, where are you? - McDuck? - [TRIGGER CLICKS] [GRUNTS] What do we have here? Good afternoon, world leaders.
This is Black Heron of FOWL.
Regrets if you haven't heard of me.
But I've gotten very well acquainted with your Agent 22.
- Huh? - After meticulous My back molar is rigged with a distress signal.
SHUSH will be coming for me and you, Heron.
Excuse me.
I'm in the middle of filming my declaration of harmful intent.
Where was I? Oh, yes! After meticulous, frankly ingenious planning, I have obtained history's greatest biological weapon.
With the completed formula, I will breed an army of super soldiers that will bounce to the highest peaks of corruption.
Did you just say "bounce"? Who is this? Is he with you? - Unfortunately.
- You're making a bounce serum? The untold powers of the ancient creatures is bouncing? Yes! There'll be bouncing here and there and everywhere.
Mass destruction that's beyond compare! Stop laughing! I have wasted an entire reel of film, and you're not even entirely in frame! - What are you doing? - Fighting a deadly super-villain, apparently.
- You're out of your league! - [SCREAMING] [BOTH GRUNTING] - I could try a coupling gambit, or - 22! Little help? - I'm working out a plan.
- I've got a plan: Just do something! But But how did you defeat Black Heron? He didn't.
Where's my Granny? Easy, lass.
This one's out of your league.
Nobody's out of our league, Mr.
McDuck! We can take her! [GRUNTS, GROANS] Webby! We need to [BOTH COUGHING] [GROANING] Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up! [BOTH GROAN] I can't believe you.
What is my granddaughter doing here? On a shush assignment, of all things! She's just a little girl! - [SCROOGE] I know! - [BLACK HERON] Silence! I've waited so long for this, 22.
Decades lying in hiding, tracking you down, rebuilding this place, rebuilding myself.
But this time, 22, I'm better prepared.
World domination can wait.
This [EVIL CHUCKLE] This is sweet revenge.
Now, tell me the formula.
[CHUCKLES] It was years ago.
How am I supposed to remember? Wait.
What are you Come, come, 22.
Protocol dictates you memorize all mission-related data, and you're even more fastidious than I am.
So you have 3 tenths of a second to respond, or Don't do it! [GRUNTS] Six handfuls of red berries, four orange berries, three purple berries, four blue berries, three green berries and one yellow berry, in that order.
Bentina [EVIL CHUCKLING] Finally, the powers of the ancients are mine.
[BEAKLEY] You're deranged, Heron.
Would you please not interrupt [CHUCKLES] No, no, 22.
You won't throw me off my game this time.
I'm prepared for every eventuality.
Now, the child was a bit of an X-factor, but she will be the cherry on this sweet revenge.
Leave her outta this, Heron.
She's just a defenseless girl.
She has no place here.
A damsel in distress is what she is! It was a mistake to bring a hapless hellion! She should be at home, with her pink bows, enjoying a glass of her favorite tea.
I don't like tea, I like [GASPS] This bores me.
Time to move on to the revenging.
- [EVIL CHUCKLE] - [EXCLAIMS] [GULPING] - What are you, child? - That's Webby Vanderduck, my new partner! Yeah! But it's actually Vanderqua-a-ack! Whoa! Ooh! - Oh! - Webby! I love it! I'm like a super-mega rubber ball of death! You get Heron.
I'll get your granny.
The juice! Ha! [GASPS] [EXCLAIMS] Protocol 78.
Get your opponent to underestimate your partner.
How did you know she could pull it off? Your granddaughter is full of surprises.
[GRUNTING] Get away! Get away! Gimme that juice, you bad baddie! [BOUNCING] No! No! It's wearing off! No! [SCREAMING] This is all your fault! [GROANS, SCREAMING] Flip-six-three-hole.
Hyah! [SCREAMING] - Hey-hey, it worked! - Team up! [SCREAMING] [ELECTRICAL CRACKLING] Launchpad, take us home.
Roger that.
Going in blind.
Oh, that was so amazing! Agent 22 and McDuck back in action! But-But hey, what did happen in that first battle with Black Heron? Just do something! Dash it all.
This is disconcerting! [SHOUTS] What is happening? You will pay for that.
[BOTH GRUNT] [EXCLAIMS] 22, you just broke protocol for me.
For the mission.
And you, partner.
Whoop! Time to go.
No-o-o-o! I have a feeling I'm going to be cleaning up a lot of your messes from here on out, Agent McDuck.
- Call me Scrooge.
- Bentina Beakley.
Whoa! I can't believe I'm now part of an actual McDuck-Agent 22 adventure! Thank you, Mr.
McDuck! Call me Uncle Scrooge.
I'm Webby!