Dynasty (2017) s05e07 Episode Script

A Real Actress Could Do It

1 I've made my decision.
Okay, what's that? You were right.
The other day in my office.
That was goodbye.
I can't do this anymore.
I love Cutler.
What we have is real.
I'm sorry, Lionel, but it's over.
What the hell is she doing? The only time I've ever cried like that was never.
Aren't I the producer here? Why are you involved in casting again? Well, since the character is based on me, Liam thought I'd have some insight.
Not to mention, who let all these freaks into our house? Well, Nina felt that having them audition in this space would help them get into character.
Well, guess what? It didn't work.
Plus, actors are notorious thieves.
I noticed that all the decorative soaps were missing from the East powder room.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I thought we agreed you were no longer allowed to look at auditions.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm not sure we agreed to that.
Well, it doesn't matter, since all those ladies are backups to this one.
Janelle Crowley? Ooh! Yes, you see? This is what I'm talking about.
If somebody is going to play Fallon - Farrah.
- then they need to be as impressive as the real deal.
She's basically the next Meryl, with the mystique of Gaga and the environmentalism of DiCaprio.
Not to mention, the financiers were threatening to pull out if we didn't land someone big.
Well, I didn't think she was interested.
There's a few contingencies.
One major one.
Janelle wants to shadow Fallon for 48 hours starting today before she makes her decision.
Hey, look, if it's too much to ask No.
Nothing is too much for you.
After all you've done for me? I've been waiting for a chance to return the favor, - and this is it.
- Thank you.
Not to mention, associating myself with a well-known eco-activist like Janelle could really boost consumer confidence as we kick things back up with Morell Green.
There's that ulterior motive.
Oh, "ulterior" sounds so ugly.
But can you go 48 hours without spooking an eco-conscious do-gooder like Janelle Crowley? Of course I can.
I'm an open book.
I've got nothing to hide.
Got to go.
Family meeting.
Tell Janelle's people I am ready for my close-up.
PPA's expansion is underway.
But the company needs more than private fliers to survive.
The airport construction costs are too high.
Is this some kind of PPA prospectus? Are we supposed to know what PPA means? Primetime Private Air.
It's my company.
I need a major commercial client to raise the bottom line.
So if you have any leads, I'm all ears.
Anything to boost freight traffic through my airport.
I missed breakfast with my father for this? Yeah, I know I'm new here, but this doesn't really seem worthy of, like, an in-person family meeting.
There's one other matter.
This may sound strange, but for the past three weeks, the woman that we all thought was Cristal was actually an imposter named Rita.
"May" sound strange? Yeah, how is that even possible? If she was an imposter, then where have you been? Beto kidnapped me and kept me locked in a basement so he could use this woman to steal back our family business.
But he's gone and she's in jail.
So you're saying I let a nonprofessional massage my spine? I mean are you okay? I'm fine.
And the sooner I can stop thinking about this, the better.
I can't believe we didn't know.
Although I did think it was weird you gave me such good advice.
None of you could have known.
Beto trained Rita perfectly.
But it's over.
And I'm moving on.
We all should.
Well, good.
Family meeting adjourned.
As you know, I sent your materials to several print ad casting calls.
Ooh, you're scaring me with this tone.
No tone.
And while the response hasn't been as immediate - as I had hoped - Oh, I knew we sent in the wrong pictures.
I had crazy eye bags that day, and I'm talking checked bags, not carry-on.
- No, that's not what I mean - It's okay.
We just have to take new ones.
I can fund a shoot.
Kirby, please stop speaking and let me talk for one second.
You don't need print ads because I booked you a shampoo commercial.
- It shoots tomorrow.
- Really? Shampoo commercials are, like, the holy grail of modeling, and it's shooting tomorrow? Am I dreaming? Want me to pinch you? Yeah.
Um you know I've never acted before, right? As long as your gorgeous hair can act, we're good.
But let's keep the holes in your résumé to ourselves.
I may have told the client you're an experienced actress.
Stop number 33 on the grand tour, - my bedroom.
- Oh, great.
Because I could use a break.
Yeah, this place is huge, and I'm not as young as I used to be.
Oh, tell me about it.
I can only go out dancing three nights a week these days.
Aging is such a drag.
- What? - What? What's wrong? Apparently a rock band staying in the presidential suite started a small fire.
Just one second while I deal with this.
Hello? What do you mean? Everything okay in here? Yes, of course.
Uh, Blake, right? I don't think we've officially met.
Daniel, Fallon's horse trainer.
You can call me Mr.
And then you can tell me what you were just doing.
Sorry, false alarm.
Our smoke alarms are too sensitive.
I knew we spent too much money on safety.
- I see you two have met.
- Yes, we have.
Could I have a word? Oh, maybe later? I'm gonna let my father catch his breath and then we're gonna continue the tour.
- Everything okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just perfect.
- Lemonade? - Yes, please.
Morell Green is kind of our environmental North Star.
With Jeff Colby leading the way, the rest of the company will follow his example as we build a better world.
He should be here any minute.
When this offer first came in, I thought the character was just a spoiled oil heiress.
But now, seeing your eco-conscious side, I knew there had to be more layers.
I'm like an onion, you know.
But I'm just flattered that you're considering taking the role.
I mean, I've been a fan of yours since you were on that soap.
You know, the one where you you did CPR in a bikini every week? - Beach Doctor.
- Yeah.
Wow, you really are a fan.
More importantly, what was it like kissing Ryan Gosling in that tornado movie? - Mm.
- Uh, Fallon, a word? Ah! Yeah, Jeff, this is Wow.
Janelle Crowley.
Huge fan.
Which I'm sure you hear all the time.
And yet it never gets old.
So thank you.
Of course.
Um, I was just about to tell Janelle that our site managers should be done relocating Patty's petroleum to an ethical waste ground by end of day.
An eco-friendly hallelujah to that.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna use the ladies' room.
Don't do anything exciting till I come back.
I won't.
Hold that hallelujah.
We got a problem with Morell.
There's an issue with securely disposing of the toxic waste from the plant, a spill which resulted in some of it being relocated into marshland.
- Oh, no, are those egrets? - Yes.
Well, if this leaks, it'll be a PR nightmare for us.
- Yes.
- And tree-hugger Janelle Crowley will never sign on to play yours truly.
- Seems likely.
- And Liam's movie will implode.
Well, this is a huge cluster duck.
Apologies are for incompetent people, Cynthia.
- Um - I want competence look it up.
- Yeah, but - And while you have the dictionary open, maybe get acquainted with the word "unemployed.
" - But but Ms.
Co - Good morning.
There is my knight in cashmere armor.
I thought you could use some calming saffron tea.
I know I seem stressed, but Alexam's launch is only a few weeks away and everything is a mess.
Look, I get why you're stressed.
But I miss last week's Alexis.
The one who was so carefree and relaxed in our modest palace in Dubai.
Well, I wasn't so carefree when that sandstorm hit when we were experimenting with the hot tub jets.
How much of that call did you hear? Enough to know that you weren't particularly kind to Cynthia.
I have a short fuse.
I know it's a problem if I'm going to get that flock of losers to be productive.
First step, maybe don't call your employees losers.
And second step, maybe you can ask someone for advice on adjusting your management style.
How about you? You manage a hedge fund.
I was thinking of someone with a similar temperament to yours.
My fuse is long.
Oh, don't I know it.
The people who caused this spill were holdovers from Patty's company.
Maybe just own up to it.
Sometimes the truth works.
No one cares about the truth.
They'll just write articles saying Fallon Unlimited destroys the environment and kills furry creatures.
And then they'll show a picture of a very sad, thin bird with a Sarah McLachlan song playing.
Our stock price will drop faster than Janelle drops out of this movie.
We need a swift and secret clean-up of this mess, coupled with a swift and secret firing of whoever is responsible for this.
Should we loop in your VP? Kelly? No, she's home sick with the flu.
Lucky bitch.
Well, what about Janelle? If she's shadowing you, she'll eventually want to know what's going on.
Alexis is coming to visit.
I will have her distract Janelle while you figure this whole thing out.
She cannot find out, otherwise Liam will never trust me to help him again.
How do I look? Radiant, as always.
I thought you said you were done wearing camel hair coats for the season.
I never said that.
Why would I That must have been Rita.
I should clear my head.
Today's a big day.
- Flores business? - In a way.
I'm attending the ELLE workshop for female CEOs.
It stands for Executive Ladies Leadership Essentials.
Well, it sounds a little Ya-Ya Sisterhood for my taste.
You should let me help you.
Leadership Essentials is my middle name.
Thanks, but Joyce Barry is the best there is at this kind of thing.
And your CEO experience as a straight white male is probably a little different from mine.
I'm not so sure about that these days.
Maybe let's keep the focus on me? The Flores board rejected my three-year corporate expansion plan.
I need to find a way to tighten my grip and get what I want.
Maybe you should partner with PPA.
A high-profile, new air freight contract that could sweeten your expansion plan with the board.
Getting my husband's help isn't the best way to show the board how strong and independent I am.
Well, fair enough.
Are you sure you don't need more time after what you've been through? Yes.
I'm sure.
I've got this.
No one knows what they're doing.
So what would you do in my position? Why don't you just do what you used to do at the manor? Fire them and start fresh.
Well, there's no time for that.
Plus I need to learn to be nicer.
What's with the sushi spread, and it's vegan? Is that even a thing? - Only the best for my mother.
- I guess I just wanted something that challenges me, you know? - Is that Janelle Crowley? - Mm-hmm.
Wow, she really looks older in person.
You can keep that to yourself.
Right now, she is trying to decide if she wants to play me in Liam's movie.
And I really, really need you to go over there and just regale her, you know, with stories from my youth while I go handle a private business matter.
I came here for help, not to chitchat with America's sweetheart.
Okay, okay, fine.
I know someone who can help you.
I will set it all up if you go talk to Janelle.
Just keep it positive and eco-friendly.
Janelle? This is my mother.
And she would be more than happy to discuss all things Fallon Carrington with you, so what do you say swap dance partners for a little bit? I was actually thinking we could all talk We are going to have a great chitchat.
Uh, so the clean-up's gone well so far.
Who's getting fired? A Patty hire named Linda Bergeron.
Lazy and wholly responsible for the clean-up oversight.
Let's get rid of her.
We'll make her sign an NDA and then we can forget this entire thing ever happened.
You know, you would think a daughter would tell her mother when she lost her virginity, but I had to find out through the tabloids.
Sushi's ready.
Well, that sounds like great news to me.
Well, in theory, yes.
But if I mess up, I might as well wash this shampoo commercial right out of my life.
- And Charlie, as well.
- Well, I thought Charlie was excited about giving you a second chance.
Well, she was.
She is.
But as soon as she hears me try to say "glycine soja extract," she's gonna run for the hills, which is sad, because I really think we have potential.
Oh, like, um like, professional potential? Or-or romantic? Obviously professional, 100%.
Or maybe, like, 80/20, you know? Depending on what she's wearing.
She's really cute.
My mind wanders.
What's that look for? Nothing, um, why don't you just tell Charlie that you're feeling nervous? If she supports you, then, uh, you know, she'll understand.
You know, I really have to get back to this mock trial prep.
Who are you mocking? Uh, it's a rehearsal where we find out what's working and what's not working if this malpractice case ever goes to trial.
That's what I need.
I need a mock commercial.
You help me prep, I do a great job, and Charlie never has to know I was struggling.
It's a win-win-win.
Not entirely sure what I'm winning in this situation.
Oh, you get me I'll help you with the trial.
Oh, so you're familiar with Section 3971 of the Official Code of Georgia Annotated? I will be by tomorrow.
Joyce Barry, it is such an honor.
Let's see how you feel after I run you through the wringer for the next two days.
I'm looking forward to it.
Are all these women CEOs? Yep.
But only one of you will leave here with a year-long on-call mentorship with yours truly.
I have so much to learn.
I just hope I can compete.
Of course you can.
With the right attitude, nothing can stand in your way.
Okay, I'm here, we can start.
I was looking for the CEO seminar.
Did you get lost on your way to the Sloppy Second Wife's Club? If a woman is strong and assertive, then she's too abrasive to lead.
And if she's not assertive enough, she's a pushover and she gets no respect.
You should be familiar with that.
And to be good managers, you must learn to work with different styles.
You will get that chance this weekend.
Tomorrow, you will launch a hot dog stand in the park, using a limited budget of $1,000.
How is this helpful? Hawking wieners is a bit beneath me.
Real world application of my teachings will illuminate your shortcomings.
Then this should be very helpful for Alexis.
I have split all of you up into teams of two, solely based on when you enrolled.
- Oh, n Anyone but her.
- I Are you sure about that? Sorry, ladies.
You were the last two.
If you want to deal with adversity and people you don't like, tomorrow will be a great place to start.
This is what you wanted to talk to me about my father looking in my bag? Well, I mean, it was suspicious.
And when I called him on it, he froze, no explanation.
Blake, no offense, but you can be a little intimidating.
Why would I take offense to that? Point is I'm sure there's a good explanation.
Sam, what do you even know about the guy, huh? He just shows up now? Where was he when you were a drug-addict grifter? No offense.
Why would I take offense to that? I already did the suspicion thing with him last week.
He just wants to be my dad.
Get to know me.
Okay, well, maybe I need to get to know him, too.
We should all go riding tomorrow.
Like horses? I'll take that as a yes.
See you tomorrow.
What do you think? Well, this isn't exactly what I was expecting when I was summoned up to the bedroom.
How much would you spend on one of these? Nothing.
I prefer burgers.
And what do hot dogs have to do with female empowerment? I knew this seminar was just a bunch of crap.
Well, Joyce says that leadership skills are the same whether you're running a Fortune 500 company or a hot dog stand.
Well, I guess that almost makes sense.
Problem is that my partner is Alexis.
Alexis? I thought you said this was a prestigious program.
How'd she slither her way in? Fallon made a call.
And if you're gonna keep being critical, I'll just do this somewhere else.
I'm sorry, I'll stop.
What's this? Your new nighttime regimen.
Just as you requested last week.
The valerian tea helps soothe your nerves, remember? Yes.
- I do now.
Thank you.
- Of course.
Rita really made herself at home here, didn't she? Look, just so you know Rita and I were never intimate.
- In case - Let's be done talking about Rita, permanently.
And I want the scissors to be big.
Like, "bigger than my arm" big.
- Okay, thank, you.
- Don't worry, I won't ask.
I'm gonna tell you anyway.
Janelle loved shadowing me.
And since I was able to find a solution to a tiny problem, I was thinking she could be the one to cut the ribbon as we reopen Morell Green.
Yeah, well, the only thing Janelle's cutting is her ties to the movie.
- She's out.
- What did you do? Me? I did nothing.
I was a perfect gentlewoman.
What, did she hear about the toxic waste spill and the oily egrets? Oily regrets? Small chemical spill, precious marshlands, adorable birds not my fault.
I have no idea what you're talking about, but I guess a story broke last night that you fired a project manager at Morell named Linda because she wanted to spend more time with her family.
Are you freaking kidding me? Wow.
That lying snitch I bet she doesn't even have a family.
I'm guessing the truth has something to do with the toxic waste? Yes, it does, but I couldn't tell Janelle the truth because I wanted to protect the movie.
I'm sorry, Liam.
Oh, it's fine.
Uh, but we should go.
We got a long day ahead of us scraping the bottom of the barrel to find a replacement.
You know if you don't fix this, there probably won't be a movie.
Well, I do now.
Do you always drink before a day's work? Bubbles soothe my stomach.
Which is I what need, because Cristal's plan for our project today is making me ill.
Hey, go easy on her, okay? She's been through a lot.
Oh, did she lose one of Blake's apology necklaces? No, I'm talking about her being kidnapped by her brother while someone else impersonates her for a few weeks without anyone noticing.
But, sure, maybe it's what you said, too.
Are you serious? Oh, I couldn't make that up if I tried.
That is just the thing I need to know before a day of emotional warfare.
That's exactly the opposite reason why I told you.
Yeah, I thought you were trying to become a better and nicer - manager? - Bullying your partner seems off-base.
Cristal is not my partner.
Except she is.
Maybe approach it as if she were an Alexam employee, and try to work on your patience.
My employee? As if I would ever hire that two-faced Not like that, right.
I will try.
But I'm not following her stupid business plan.
You don't have to.
Just be professional and respectful.
They should sell tickets to this.
Well, that was wonderful.
It has been a while since I've been on a horse.
Daniel, you really have a way with Allegra.
Oh, thanks.
We've spent a lot of time together prepping for the big race next week.
Hey, Sam.
Why don't you go get that Scotch out of the tack room? It's not every day that I get to bond with your father.
Sounds great.
Well, that's, uh, very generous of you.
You're not getting a sip of that Scotch.
You're not getting a taste of Sam's money, either, which we both know is the reason you're here.
- Excuse me? - I did some digging.
You're broke.
A success like Sam that's an appetizing meal ticket, isn't it? You know nothing about me.
Look, I'm just trying to protect Sam.
And I can help you, too, if you let me.
That's five more zeroes than your current balance.
Just take it, be grateful.
And be on your way.
I'm grateful Sam's managed to be a good person despite living with a man like you.
- No thanks.
- Don't lay your hands on me.
Don't make assumptions about my intentions with my son.
Hey, what the hell's going on here? A man should be able to defend himself on his own property, - shouldn't he? - So Daniel just attacked you - for no reason? - No, he had a reason.
He knows I'm onto him.
You should've seen his face when I caught him snooping around your bedroom.
I wasn't snooping.
And what I was doing is none of your business.
Oh, so you admit you were doing something? No.
I mean, yes, but it's not what you think.
What was it then? Because right now I am wondering.
Just admit it you're hiding something.
Are you? Well, the truth is, I was trying to hide something.
A picture of me and your mother from when we were young.
I thought it would be a nice surprise for you to find, but now I see I shouldn't have bothered.
Dad, I'm-I'm so sorry.
Would you quit calling this con man dad? He's right.
At least until you actually trust me.
Yeah, great detective work, Blake.
Where was that keen eye when a stranger was sleeping in your bed, huh? It's so beautiful I could almost cry.
Our stock price is holding steady.
No leaks about the leak.
There's just one thing we should talk about.
Oh, please don't tell me the egrets have spoken to the press.
The cleanup crew told me that the spill didn't look accidental.
There might've been foul play.
I hope that's just a bad bird pun.
Yeah, it's not.
Something shady definitely went down.
The initial report cited slick roads as the cause of the accident, but there was hardly any precipitation.
Don't worry, I'll get to the bottom of it.
Thank you, because now I'm off to meet little miss movie star.
- Again? - Yep.
Achieve that natural glow that you've always wanted.
Did you just hurt your neck flipping your hair? Yeah, it really hurt.
This time, less violently.
Um sexier? More serious.
Okay, y-you're angry.
Oh, um, okay, let's drop the animal and go, like, goofy.
Friendly and wholesome.
Made with organic glycine soju extract.
- Soja, soja It's not, like, a Korean liquor.
- Soja? - Yeah.
- Okay.
I'll try again.
- Made with orga - Oh, careful! If I'm so nervous to do this in front of you, how am I gonna to do this in front of cameras and a crew and Charlie? It's normal to be nervous, okay? When I'm in court, I'm like Xena the Warrior outside.
You know? On the inside, my stomach probably looks like a carnival on fire.
But you're so confident.
It's acting.
No one wants their hair to be dry and frizzy and lacking in sheen, do they? Well, neither does my client.
There is a reason that every bottle has glycine soja extract in it.
In fact, actually, the only thing my client is guilty of is making your hair look more amazing than it ever has before.
If that's a crime lock me up.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
- Wow.
- You can do this.
Yeah, I just need to convince the judge and jury to buy shampoo.
And if all else fails, just think about the delicious meal you'll reward yourself with after.
Now, that I can do.
I can already taste the chicken parm - I'm gonna eat.
- Not until you're done.
Thank you so much for helping me.
Please, don't punish Liam for whatever issues you have with me.
It's not about punishment or Liam.
It's about ethical depiction, which is very important to me as an artist.
On Beach Doctor, I learned how to do a tracheotomy.
I could totally tell.
And you can depict me however you want.
I can't.
Liam's version of you is written through rose-colored glasses and it always will be.
And this reaction of yours this is all because of Linda getting fired? She didn't get fired.
You fired her.
For wanting to spend time with her family.
Fallon, and by default, Farrah are not good people.
And Farrah needs to be as likable - as the actress playing her.
- Well, I can't I can't give you the specifics, for very specific reasons, but you have to trust me, Linda's firing was justified.
Oh, I'm sure you can justify it in your head however you want, but why should I trust you? What, you're gonna believe some trashy gossip site? I mean, Janelle, you know better than anyone not to believe everything you read.
Did Tom Cruise really bring that lion to set just so you could feed it a vanilla milkshake? That was just a ridiculous rumor.
Okay, you see, there you go.
I hate it when I read things about people that aren't true.
You can tell me all the real stories later.
There is no later.
I have plenty of other offers on the table, and I'd rather take one of those.
I like to be the only selfish one on set.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Just give me a chance to show you who I am.
I can't let Liam down.
Please? Forget all of this.
I have a new plan.
As usual, you're not making any sense.
Did you not look at the specs I sent? I did.
Hence, the new plan.
We need to make a splash.
You weren't even making a ripple.
So I spent the entire budget on something that will actually get us noticed.
We can't afford all that with our budget.
I think the budget is more of a suggestion.
Joyce will appreciate our aggressiveness, and the truth is it's my fault.
I never should've had a beta do an alpha's job.
So I'm sorry.
In case you missed it, that's me being a bigger person.
Now, get changed.
Is that lemon and cayenne People still doing that? Yes, I'm cleansing.
Trying to get rid of all the negativity surrounding me.
All right, listen, it goes without saying that I owe you an apology.
No, it deserves to be said.
And I'm not sure I accept it.
Just because Rita fooled you doesn't mean you can go and take it out on Daniel.
Well, that's not actually the reason I reacted the way I did.
Seeing the two of you together, I was jeal Jell-O? Gel-caps? I was jealous.
Why? Well, because I've come to think of myself as your father.
You know, it's a title I'm proud of.
And it hurts to know I could lose it that easily.
So - Here.
- What is that? That's just a little apology.
Well, you, uh certainly know the way to my heart.
And my wrist.
I forgive you.
And you will always be a father to me, no matter how many biological daddies come out of the woodwork.
Well, hearing you say that's a relief.
Okay, this, uh, touchy-feely stuff gives me the willies, so I'm gonna go apologize to Daniel and get that out of the way.
Uh, actually, if it's okay with you, I'd like to bring him dinner after he's done training Allegra and apologize to him first.
You're not the only one who questioned his motives.
I told you no one would buy a hot dog for $100.
Oh, I want to say that your attitude isn't helping, but I am practicing kindness.
However, if I wasn't, I would tell you that you're lifeless and uninspired, and that working with you is basically like working alone.
Hello, ladies.
Seems as though business is slow.
I think the weather is keeping people away.
Oh, you mean clear skies and perfect temperature? I had nothing to do with this insanity.
She won't even listen to me.
If you can't be heard or seen, it's because you're not making your presence felt.
And the only person that can control that is you.
Don't blame Alexis.
What a wise woman.
Hey, where are you going with that wiener? I mean, I guess it could've been my fault.
I'm not really sure.
Patty never had us do any real work like that.
You know, she was a really good boss.
Okay, Linda.
Well, you're probably wondering why you're here.
Yeah, that is a good question.
Since I am a kind-hearted person I'd like to offer you your job back.
I was wrong to fire you.
You seem like a really, uh I mean, you seem like a Well, you get the point.
Listen, I'm sorry I had to play hardball in the press like that, but I'm glad it allowed you to see my value.
Now should we talk numbers? Because I think I deserve a pay increase for the pain and suffering.
You want to negotiate a higher salary? It hasn't even been 24 hours.
Yeah, sure, what were you, uh, what were you thinking? 40% raise and a five-year contract.
If things don't work out, I want protections.
For my family.
Uh Okay, you win.
- Welcome back.
- Great.
Hold on, you brought me here to watch you re-hire this woman? You were upset that I fired her.
And so I hired her back.
What do you want from me, lady? I wanted to see the real Fallon.
Which, now, I have.
All right, you know what, that's it.
I give up.
No, I I meant that as a good thing.
You were willing to sacrifice something for the husband you love - and re-hire this incompetent woman.
- Hey.
Oh, please.
I'll accept the part, with one caveat.
You let me re-fire Linda as you, in character.
Yeah, sure, fine, go for it.
Linda, you're done here.
You have 30 minutes to pack up your sad little office or I'll do it for you.
And when I say I'll do it, I'll toss it in the garbage.
I would've given her ten, but - Wait, is this for real? - Get out.
How you feeling? Prepared, confident, and incredibly hungry.
- How do I look? - Gorgeous.
And my hair can it sell shampoo? I'd buy an entire crate of it.
You really are something, Kirby.
I'm glad we met.
If this goes well, do you want to get a drink later or maybe see a movie? Kirby, I'm so sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I don't date my clients.
Right, of course not.
'Cause that would be crazy.
It's just a rule I have.
- Mm-hmm.
- I hope you understand.
- Oh, yeah.
- Anyway, I don't want to distract you, - so I'll go watch from the monitor.
- Okay.
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
High five.
Are you ready to break a leg? Yes, actually, both of them.
As soon as I jump out the nearest window.
- What happened? - Apparently I'm as bad at reading body language as I am performing it.
Because I just asked out my agent and she rejected me.
Which makes sense.
We have to go.
I-I can't do this.
Wait, no, no, no, sorry, wait, one thing has nothing to do with the other, okay? You just need to turn down the self-doubt, drama mama.
You just got to convince a jury to buy shampoo.
Think about the chicken parm if all else fails.
You got this.
You look, um gorgeous.
Charlie said the same thing.
But don't worry, I won't ask you out as well.
High-class hot dog? It's golden.
Just taste it.
Fine, keep jogging.
I'm sure you're late for a Jazzercise class.
Where have you been? We need to be selling hot dogs.
We are.
I used the fire-starter technique Joyce taught us.
I met a nice man named Ron who works at a law firm close by.
I sacrificed a sale for good exposure.
You gave him a free hot dog? Yes, and he happened to love your Wagyu beef thing, golden flakes and all.
He told his colleagues, who are now all on their way here.
It's about time you made yourself useful.
What is it? It's a text from Ron.
They're not coming.
What? Why not? All it says is "Violently ill.
No one is coming.
What did you feed me?" Of course you gave the hot dog to a lawyer with a weak stomach.
We are so getting sued.
Did you even check to see if these golden flakes are edible? Do I have to do everything? Seriously? That's it, I can't do this anymore.
Well neither can I.
You make it impossible to be nice.
You're a waste of space.
You might as well not be here.
No wonder your husband didn't even notice you were gone.
Why couldn't you stay home and be a doormat? It's your only skill.
Oh, yeah? Would a doormat do this? Put the condiments down! - You're both out of the program.
- That's fine.
I think I got what I needed.
I'm just trying to be seen and heard.
- Mind if I join you? - Sure.
How did I do today? Be honest.
The client could not be happier, and I could not be more impressed.
Seriously? I thought for sure that I blew it and that they were already calling Sasha to replace me.
No way.
You've got a career as a slasher.
- Huh? - Actor-slash-model.
Oh! What are you gonna do to celebrate? I am gonna get some chicken parm.
Okay, that's very specific.
But it sounds tasty.
Can I come with? Sure.
Just a, uh, platonic hearty Italian dinner.
I'm really sorry for asking you out before.
I guess I just wasn't thinking, which is kind of a problem for me.
I kind of act before I think and then Kind of like that? Either you really like breaded chicken cutlets, or I'm confused.
I thought you had a policy against dating clients.
But does that not include spontaneous kissing? I've been interested in you from the moment we met.
But I've had disasters in the past.
Models can be delicate and insecure.
But the way you killed it today made me realize you have got plenty of confidence.
I did? I do? Oh, yeah.
It was pretty hot.
Well, you know, I try.
God willing, that's the last time I will be at a park for ever.
I'm sensing ELLE was a bust.
I tried to be professional with Cristal.
But it just didn't stick.
And she squirted ketchup all over my fabulous gown.
Maybe I just don't do partnerships.
Friendly reminder that you already have a partner.
Adam? Well, that's different.
I basically own him.
So you got nothing at all from this? Not nothing.
I learned that I can't change who I am.
Not even for world-renowned Joyce Barry.
I'm bad-tempered, I don't sugarcoat things, and I am not the nicest manager when I'm stressed.
And I feel that me being a bitch at times is a problem for you.
Which may be a problem for us.
What? Alexis, no.
I mean maybe if I were working for you it would be.
Then why were you pushing for me to change so much? It just seems like you were trying a backdoor approach to changing my personality.
Not at all.
I love your personality.
I just want you to have everything you want.
And it seemed like a good way to assure Alexam's success.
But with regard to your private personality don't change a thing.
I think you're the perfect amount of bitch.
How do you always know the right thing to say? Hello, handsome.
Well I'm guessing the ELLE conference was a rousing success? More like a total disaster.
I know you were pinning a lot on Joyce, but Turns out I didn't need Joyce.
What I do need is to talk about Rita.
Me and Rita, not you and Rita.
I know I said I didn't, but I haven't been honest about how it made me feel about myself.
The Flores board had me worried.
How could I possibly be a powerful CEO when I couldn't even make a mark on my family? Oh, honey, of course you've made a mark on this family.
I know that now.
But I allowed Rita to make me doubt myself.
- Until today.
- So it was a success.
In a different way.
During a ridiculous fight with Alexis, I remembered.
I'm Cristal Carrington.
And there's only one of me.
I am liking this energy.
Then you would've loved hearing me call the board to push through my expansion plan.
Which I can do.
- As CEO.
- Hmm.
One more thing.
I don't think PPA and Flores should work together.
Yeah, I know that.
You've made that very clear.
This is a proposal to merge PPA and Flores into one entity.
It's a natural fit for both companies.
You know, it's a big decision.
I know.
I've crunched every number there is to crunch.
But you can sleep on it.
Well, I don't need to sleep on it.
Something tells me we're not sleeping very much tonight.
- Let's merge.
- Hmm.
Don't mind if I do.
Good news is Morell is now squeaky clean, super green, and the spill site is spotless.
But But I was right about the accident.
It was intentional.
And you're not gonna be happy when you find out who - gave Linda her instructions.
- Oh, no.
Was it Liam? Okay, it's not that bad.
It was Kelly, your VP, who is supposedly home sick.
I hired a P.
to tail Linda after she was fired.
Followed her right to a meeting with Kelly.
Why would she do that to me? I have no idea.
But you should probably find out sooner rather than later.
Well, thank you for all of your hard work on this, Jeff.
Cousin power.
- Cousin power, yeah.
- Yeah.
Didn't know that was a thing, but I like it.
How did you get Janelle back? Well, I could tell you the details, but it's probably best that I don't.
You know what, you are probably right.
But thank you.
I know that I've been playing it cool, but this project means way more to me than I let on.
I know it does.
And you don't need to be afraid to admit stuff like that to me.
Okay? I am here for you, 100%, whatever you set your sights on.
Well, right now, my sights are set on going home and getting back to some baby-making.
Ah, sounds like the perfect distraction from work.
Hmm, maybe that could be the title of my next book: The Perfect Distraction.

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