Easy Abby (2012) s01e06 Episode Script

Love Monkey

1 Eileen grew up in foster homes.
She just bought her own place last year and says I can stay whenever I need to.
There are friends, and there are friends.
I wish I was a better one.
So you going to hand me that uh twelve millimeter or what? What.
My hands are shaky.
What's her name? Oh it's not that.
I haven't been sleeping Oil? So uh when is the last time you got laid? Few days ago.
So what is it, you're falling in love with one? You got feelings? No no feelings, I'm not in love.
I'm not even worried about her.
I'm not worried about love.
I know about love stuff.
I love love.
- You love love? - I love love! I mean, every girl has their own frequency and I kind of tune in to that.
You know? - And I can feel that.
- Yeah.
You know it's like a low humming.
Like uh like a dog whistle.
Yeah! No a radio.
A deep, low buzz.
Low hum? - Low hum - Like "The Force"? No, not like "The Force"! The Force? Yeah, The Force! The Force is like a light saber.
It's like a Zoom Zoom! Zah Zah Zah! Yeah! That's in more of a mid range thing.
It's not that.
Yeah, like fifty megahertz.
- I mean that's low, like VHF low.
- That's not it.
It's not that low.
It's like uh What like a weather satellite? One hundred fifty megahartz? More like a hundred? A hundred? That makes sense.
Like a garage door opener.
Dooosh Whir Yeah, but it switches off as randomly as it locks in.
Are you taking your meds darling? Yeah.
How is your mother? What album do you want to hear? Help me with this wheel! Let's go! My mom is in her mellow place lately.
It last for a few weeks and then she dips back into her dark basement brain.
Look at this.
It's a monkey wrench.
Invented by Charles Moncky.
Spelled M-O-N-C-K-Y.
He sold the patent for two thousand dollars.
Bought a house.
You're making that up! Tiny little adjustments.
Get out of town.
You know? Take a road trip.
Go to Nebraska.
Find a girl.
Buy her a cold pop? Your mom's gonna be fine.
I mean, at least for a couple of weeks, right? Yeah.
Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine