Everyone Else Burns (2023) s01e05 Episode Script

Episode 5

So it begins, my gruelling penance.
Your holiday. Don't be discouraged
by the deluge, Aaron.
Paradise awaits.
I don't know why you bothered
to bring a tent.
We're about to enter the lap
of luxury.
No reason, Aaron, but when was your
last tetanus jab?
Rachel. Miss. How did you know I was
The library was closed.
The sixth form common room
has become a kind of pit.
I knew you'd take refuge here.
Did you confiscate someone's
vodka bottle?
Yes, yes. Yes,
let's go with that.
So, slight admin error.
This is the login for your uni
applications. OK.
I've got ages for these.
If you're applying for core
subjects, then, yes,
you get three months. You pick
the window is narrower.
How much narrower?
Three months narrower.
Applications close at midnight.
I think I'm having a panic attack.
You look fine.
I've learned to hide them.
If it helps,
I've definitely screwed up
my own life more than yours.
I can't do this, miss.
I have classes.
I have an important date
with my boyfriend tonight.
We met a month ago today. I can
excuse you from your other classes.
And if you need me to call
your boyfriend and tell him
that one-month anniversaries aren't
a thing, I can.
I'd do that for you.
Go to my room, log into my computer.
The password's J-O-E-L.
Your ex? Yes.
It's unhealthy, and it's a weak
I'm going to call you other
Let's go with medical emergency.
Do you still have your appendix?
Yes. Right.
From now on, remember - you don't.
Precious Lord
Take my hand ♪
..Lead me on ♪
That's a lovely placard.
Wanted everyone to know
just how precious this tree is.
Sometimes I see birds on it
and I think, "Hey, get off my wife!"
Well, it's good you commemorating
her in a healthy way.
Do you still have the ring?
Yes. She asked me to keep it safe.
It's just that, at night,
sometimes I miss it so much
I feel like running to your door
and demanding it from you.
Fiona, give me my ring back!
This door won't stop me!
Andrew, I'll leave you to talk to
your wife.
Hiya. Just stocking up for
girls' night. Look.
Gift me store manager.
I hope that's not alcoholic wine.
Of course not.
I respect your deranged beliefs.
Is Andrew OK?
Oh, miss, I'm about halfway through.
Could you proof-read what I've got?
Here's what I would say
if I hadn't just been suspended.
And I've not got long.
So if you'll excuse me, I'm just
going to start packing my stuff.
I'm also taking some things
I don't own but I do want.
How did this happen?
Is it because you lied
about my appendix? No.
It'll take months for that to get
Last night, I booty-called my ex.
He said he'd moved on.
I didn't handle it well.
And now there's a video online of me
swallowing a shot glass whole.
And the video got you suspended?
Once the headmistress found out
that I'd forwarded the clip
to the entire parents' mailing list.
But miss Not miss any more,
Rachel, just Susie Simmonds.
A basic alliterative bitch.
Should you be saying that word?
Well, I can say anything I want now.
It's the only perk.
Five minutes of packing immunity,
and then I go from teacher
to presumed paedophile.
Hey, you can do this.
And don't worry about me.
I'll either clean up
or carry on drinking until I die.
Both paths have their benefits.
But what about the computer?
I'm sure my replacement
will let you use it.
Oh, Miss Simmons said I could
My room. Get out.
Good news. I was worried about this
leaky butane can
but it's completely empty.
Not our problem now.
My penance is going great.
I feel manlier than Adam's rib.
My roof patch is holding well.
It's bulging down like an ominous
watery blister.
It's holding well.
Why did you bring me here, Dad?
You're getting baptised
in a couple of weeks.
I thought it'd be good to Talk
about my drawings.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No. The drawings are fine.
Nothing I find uncomfortable here.
There's Jesus washing Peter's feet,
just like in the Gospel.
Admit it!
You brought me to this cursed misery
barn to ask me about my drawings.
So ask me!
Why did you
..choose charcoal for
this particular composition?
I just want you to be OK, Aaron.
I'd do anything to help you.
Then take us home. No, because
If you're going to make me
stay here, I'll survive on my own!
You take this half,
and I'll take that half.
Don't be petty, Aaron.
How would we even mark out
which side was?
Right! If you want to banish me,
But you're not as smart as you
think you are,
because you gave me the side
with the tent.
Julia, you said I could borrow
your laptop. Uh-huh.
Just move a bit to the left.
A bit more.
You've got me blocking the CCTV.
You've made me an accomplice
to a crime. Yeah.
But if you move, you will
have betrayed a friend.
You're trapped in a moral prison.
Now, stay there until I get
all the twenties.
This is the worst day of my life.
Can I please have the laptop now?
Sure you're ready for it? There's
some dark stuff on there.
The thumbnails alone
will take your innocence.
Please Give me some juice first.
Your hints of lukewarm gossip
sustain me.
I'm seeing Joshua tonight
for our one-month anniversary.
What the fuck is
a one-month anniversary?
It's been one month since God
brought us together.
You're not serious? Yeah.
Look, he made me this invite.
"For one night only, you're invited
to Romance Central."
Oh, my God, you're soulmates!
Destiny has united you as the
lamest, most boring couple possible.
If you had a kid, you'd give birth
to a water biscuit
or a ream of printer paper
or a dry felt tip.
You're boring.
You're a boring woman.
It's not boring.
There's a picture of his head
on James Bond.
Ah, the body of a 1960s misogynist
on the head of a present-day dweeb.
What did you say his name was again?
Joshua. Why?
No reason.
Happy for you.
Sometimes the old ways are the best.
How's it going, Dad?
I'm on the verge of a breakthrough.
Found the connector?
I'm sure it's here somewhere. Ahem!
Aaron, if you have any love
for your father,
you'll pass that to me now.
I brought you here to cheer
you up, Aaron.
And you have succeeded.
Got any wine glasses?
Buying vessels designed for alcohol
would be a gateway to vice,
but there are mugs top right.
Right, Conquistadors it is.
Is it a religious show?
It has a lot of religious imagery.
OK, that label is for me
If this is another guy looking
for sex No, it's me.
But just so you know
Oh, come on up.
Hey, you.
Josh, um, what are you wearing?
A tailcoat. I wanted a tux
about the charity shop
gave me a great deal.
Apparently, this used to be owned
by a funeral director
who himself died. Wow. OK.
You didn't need to tell me that.
No, before I come in
Fancy, right?
I've got an actual table.
What's up?
I'm so sorry.
I have this uni application.
My teacher sprung it on me,
and the deadline is tonight.
Are you sure?
I mean, it's a big deal, obviously.
A one-month, but your uni thing
might be bigger,
so you work.
Are you gonna be OK?
I'll keep myself entertained.
I'm going out now so I can share
with you my darkest secret.
Those are both games. No.
They're my friend since leaving the
This box claims to need three to
five players.
But after my modifications,
it's a single-player thrill ride.
And you keep them in the kitchen.
This is just overspill.
These are me Euro games. Living
room's got war games,
bedroom's got deck bills.
In the hallway, I've got my pushy
little dexterity games,
if I want a more tactile
gaming experience.
I've never been to a party.
I don't own an album.
But even to me, you are a lame
OK in a dead guy's tailcoat.
Is that a problem?
All right, you focus on your work.
I'm going to become the most famous
architect in Luxembourg.
Well, I like the series,
but you could have told me
how racy this was.
I said it'd be thought provoking,
and I stand by that.
Which Conquistador do you fancy?
None of them.
Admit it's Ignacio.
I fancy Ignacio.
I'm gay, not blind.
Hunt me with your dogs,
Inquisition Man.
I will concede he has very athletic
stomach muscles.
They're called abs, Fiona.
Or "abdominales" in Spanish.
More fake wine?
Fuck, no. What, have you run out?
Oh, God.
I think I've given you real
actual, real wine, Fiona.
Please don't be mad.
Aaron, this has gone on long
enough. You're cold.
Will you admit you want
to talk about my drawings?
But I will prove my manhood
by starting a fire.
You don't think it's a good idea
to stake your masculinity on
a half empty box of matches?
It's not half empty.
There are three matches.
The Trinity was good enough for God.
One down.
Dad, just admit you don't know
what you're doing.
I can make a fire, Aaron.
Not just a fire. Everything!
Me, Mum, Rachel.
You have no idea what's happening
and what you're supposed to do.
How could you say something
so horrible? Because it's the truth.
But if you'd just admit it,
it all made much more sense.
I can't do that.
I won't.
I still have one match left.
It worked.
I'm a man, Aaron! I'm a man!
It's true.
It's all true.
I haven't got a clue.
I know I want you to be happy.
I want you to be safe.
But I'm a bad dad.
Bad husband.
I can't even make a fire.
I want to be there for you, Aaron.
I really do.
I know.
I think you DID start a fire.
It's very kind of you to say, Aaron.
The sofa's on fire.
Oh, my gosh!
I did it.
I did it.
Dad, I'm breathing in smoke.
Right, yes.
We should leave immediately.
She really showed her husband!
What, by cheating on him
with a cruel, colonial overseer?
He had better abdominales.
I'm scared of what I've created.
Sober Fiona would never be
this exciting.
I'm exciting.
Do you dare me to put on Andrew's
wedding ring?
Don't get it stuck.
It's stuck. Yeah.
God's not going to be happy
with me about that.
That's it.
Luxembourg's first Art-Nouveau
library is complete.
Ten victory points and me
buildings endorsed
by the Grand Duchy.
How are you getting on?
I'm nearly done,
but I can't find my file.
I'm going to have to go
into Julia's downloads.
Pray for my soul.
Oh, my gosh!
You know Julia? What?
Julia, my friend.
There's pictures of you two
at summer camp.
Oh, my gosh!
You guys are friends.
Oh, we should all hang out.
You're GOOD friends!
REALLY good friends
You should talk.
You ruined me with this wine,
You made me open the second bottle.
You ruined me.
Check it out.
I got two husbands -
hot one and a David one.
David's good.
Not like my mum.
She wants me to go to uni.
Now I can't even talk to her.
Did she pass away?
Close. She got
kicked out for adultery.
Spiritually, she's dead.
Like Ignacio.
A sexy mutiny.
Family's pretty messed up.
No wonder you prefer
a 4K sticking plaster to
your own husband.
I don't prefer a sticking plaster.
This is a TV.
I wouldn't look at those flats
if you're feeling sad.
There'll just be someone sadder
staring back.
I once saw a guy throw his
own baby's trike off the balcony.
How about you stop hiding
behind one-liners and explain?
We, um
..hooked up at summer camp.
Hooked up?
We slept together.
That's why I got excluded.
The first day we met, you said
you didn't want to know,
so I didn't tell you. Rachel,
all I want is for you to feel safe.
I know how hard it is to even
consider leaving the order.
Who said anything about me
leaving the order?
Well, how did you imagine
the future?
Maybe I thought you'd realise
what a lonely life you have
and you'd want to come back.
Beg forgiveness.
Beg forgiveness for the awful,
selfish thing you did.
I'm not coming back.
Hi. I am looking
for a ticket to Romance Central.
Oh, fuck off.
I'm coming. I'm coming.
Hi. Andrew. Hello.
Hi, Fiona.
Sorry to call so late,
but the pangs of grief have grown
I've come from Mary's wedding ring.
Look, I've considered remarriage,
but Mary was my one.
I don't need two wives in Paradise.
It's not as if they've got
different taste in crockery.
It's just Hmm. Cups and plates.
Is that alcohol on your breath?
Are you are you drunk?
Your voice sounds different.
My voice sounds the same.
Oh, Fiona, if you've turned
to alcohol and you need help
I am not drunk, I swear.
Scout's honour.
Are you wearing Mary's ring?
Oh, no Give it back, please.
It's like when you're a boy but you
have the pecs of a man.
I think you may have got it stuck.
Oh, Mary, and your tiny hands!
Come to my house.
I've got some WD-40.
I'll go wherever you take me,
Andrew. Oh
Right, come on!
I can't believe this. I entrusted
you something extremely precious.
Sorry, I think
I think I'm going to
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, I'm not going to.
Do you? Yep.
I am.
You've defiled Mary!
Sorry, Mary.
You're warm now, right?
I provide for my family.
When we get home,
let's do something fun together.
Anything you want.
There's an exhibition in town.
It's on influential Cubist art.
Aaron, I'd love to take you.
Is there an admission fee?
No. I'd love to take you.
I want you to know about
the drawings.
I may not fully understand them,
but I'm here for you
..even if I am a bad dad.
A competent father could give more
but he could never give as much.
I managed to retrieve this.
On a cross long ago
Our Saviour died one day
To save the souls of men
and wipe their sins away ♪
Why is your hair a
destructive plait?
Why are you scraping sick
off a tree?
I'll see you tomorrow.
..On your knees and pray
That dark day our dear Lord
hung there
His body filled with pain
His blood did fall like rain
He lifted up his head to God
Beyond the sky so blue
Forgive them, Father Jesus cried
They know not what they do
On a cross long ago
Our Saviour died one day
If for what he's done
you're thankful ♪
David, I'm so glad you're here!
..Fall on your knees and pray. ♪
Welcome home.
Ooh! What happened to your finger?
Absolutely nothing.
The important thing is, I'm back
with it now
and I won't let our family stray
any further from the path.
How was the trailer?
Gone. What? We burnt it down.
It was great.
Got a surprise for you.
We stopped by the framer's
on the way home.
Is Jesus trying to kiss
John the Baptist?
We'll talk later.
Nice eight-pack.
Come on, then.
OK, Aaron. Let's go see those
influential cubes.
On a cross a long ago
Our Saviour died one day
To save the souls of men
and wash their sins away
Now, God had a reason for his Son
to die that day
If for what he's done
you're thankful
Fall on your knees and pray ♪
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