Fargo (2014) s04e05 Episode Script

The Birthplace of Civilization

Antecedently on Fargo
Take Irish.
If you ordered it,
I got no problem accepting consequence.
But I know you don't
want to start a war.
I didn't order a goddamn hit!
LOY: Who's calling the shots over there?
The ape or the pipsqueak?
You're giving orders now?
Are we at war?
Not yet.
But we're trying real hard.
GAETANO: These mulignani
they think that
we are weak.
They're right.
You're weak.
You took a shot.
You missed.
Now my enemy's got 300 guns.
What is it with everybody today
thinking they can talk back to me
like we're having a debate?
You put the muscle on Cannon.
Bust some heads, make some arrests.
LOY: Sell 200 to Mort Kellerman.
Tell him he can have 'em at cost.
But he owes us devotion.

Man, that cat can blow.
Party's over!
The party's over!
We got to go!
Freeze, Sambo.
Stop! You're killing him!


Hai visto.
That's how it's done.
- I really hate that guy.

Rifle Claus came early this year.
Something like that.
You know the terms.
Guns for loyalty.
We going to war with the Eyeties?
DOCTOR SENATOR: Just stay by the phone.
We'll call you when we need you.
What do you want to do
about the funeral home?
It's ours now.
Tell 'em. Make it clear.
If they tell us where the dykes are,
we'll let 'em live.
If not
- MAN: Police!
- Cracker-ass motherfucker.
- The fuck you say?
ODIS: Grab some air.
I said grab some air!
You boys are breaking the law.
What law?
Having too many teeth.
What's my money bag
doing here on the floor?
Better put this back in the car.
I know you.
No, you don't.
LOY: Yeah.
I heard about you.
Odis here was in the war.
Every day, take his men
and hoof it on ahead of the army,
looking for land mines.
You shut up.
Lot of turnover in Odis' unit.
Boom! There goes Sammy.
Boom! There goes Mike.
Whole thing started to
make Odis a little twitchy.
Until, one day,
he couldn't take it no more.
So he laid down in the grass.
Just looks at the clouds.
Army rolls up.
Colonel says,
did you clear this field?"
And Odis says,
- "Yes, sir."
- See
- I cleared it.
Colonel had to take a piss.
So he walks out into the field and
They got to send him home in a tureen.
That's a pot they put soup in.
(HOARSELY): Get 'em out of here.
Not-not him.
OFFICER: Get 'em all out. Go.
OFFICER 2: You heard him.
You didn't fight in the war, did you?
Nah, man.
Why would I fight for a
country that wants me dead?
Josto Fadda says
stick to the deal.
ETHELRIDA: Dear Dr. Harvard
I am writing to inform
you of the actions
of one of your nurses.
THURMAN: Decent?
Lights out.
Big day tomorrow.
Your birthday.
Don't tell me you forgot.
Right, it's a it's a big day.
Hey, Dad, what what's laudanum?
Chemistry homework?
Not exactly.
Well, let's see.
Laudanum, it's a
it's a painkiller.
Real potent.
Is it dangerous?
Could be, if you take too much. Why?
I saw it at Mrs. Mayflower's,
across the way.
Well, hon, she is a nurse.
But it's not something
she should be keeping
around the house.
Lights out now, okay?
Okay, Daddy.
Are we ever gonna
see Aunt Zelmare again?
Of course we will.
She's just, you know,
an escaped convict, so
Where'd she go?
She's, um
Well, I don't know that you
need to know that, young lady.
She's at a residential hotel downtown,
holed up.
The New Parie or some such.
But don't you even think of
going down there, you hear me?
this Miss Mayflower.
she's not really
I mean, I'm sure she's real nice,
but she's not someone you
should be hanging around.
We got a real precarious situation here,
living outside the law and all.
Not to mention, I think she might've
poisoned that pie she baked us.
steer clear.
All right.
Say hello to the sandman, birthday girl.
I've worked alongside Oraetta Mayflower
for many years now
- (THUD)
and felt that I should
bring certain actions of hers
to your attention.
In the last year,
many of Nurse Mayflower's
patients have died
under mysterious circumstances.
President Truman, asking Congress
for strong anti-inflation laws, says
we must remain strong at home
to beat worldwide communism.
TRUMAN: And the way to do it is
to have an anti-inflation program,
including price controls,
wage controls, rent controls,
credit controls
Controls that really
hold down prices and the cost of living.
You carry the five, don't forget.
What's he working on?
tell the boss what you're working on.
Long division.
You're teaching him?
- I'm bad at math.
- Funny.
No one ever says "I'm bad at English."
We got 'em on the run,
I think, after last night.
The way I figure, he'll go home.
This thing's rightly sorted,
there's no war to fight.
He'll go home.
Would you?
Would I what?
Italy's over. We
turned it into a toilet.
This is the land of plenty.
Boom times.
Would you go back?
Maybe he gets another city, then.
Yeah, Moreno's in Cleveland.
No, you watch.
Train's gonna pull in next week,
maybe earlier
Ten, 20 guys from the old country.
"I just thought we could use the help,"
he'll say,
your brother, but make no mistake.
Those are his men
and they're here to take over.
So what do we do?
Making me say it
instead of you isn't gonna
make doing it any easier.
Plenty of people are bad at English.
Yeah, but they're not proud of it.
This problem you got
It's a math problem.
Either you divide them
or they multiply.
I got to piss.
Be ready.
When the shooting starts,
we vanish.
(WHISPERS): It's the niece.
Show her the whistle.
So we know you're friendly next time.
Hey, you got any food on you?
There's too much heat
in the street to go out,
and we ate all the saltines last night.
(SIGHS) I got some pretzels in my bag.
You want a drink?
We're drinking.
No, ma'am.
Come on, now. It's your birthday.
You're grown.
(LAUGHS) What, you thought I forgot?
Shit, I wish I could be
with y'all to celebrate,
eat me some cake.
- Cake?
- But this gonna have to do.
Oh, well, liquor clouds the mind.
That's what I'm counting on.
To my beautiful niece
and another twirl around the sun.
I'll slurp to that.
Aunt Zelmare,
what would you do if
you saw something wrong?
Something you could fix?
What do you mean?
I mean nothing.
'Cause you're a criminal?
I ain't a criminal.
You're innocent you're saying?
Girl, I ain't been innocent
since Uncle Charlie cornered me
in the shed when I was nine.
Then I don't understand.
SWANEE: She's saying we ain't criminals.
We're outlaws.
See, criminals play the game.
What game?
Life. The earth.
ZELMARE: Society, right?
They got their rules.
Banking and family.
An honest dollar for
an honest day's work.
Politics and voting.
And the criminal
He on the other side of that,
but still he play the game.
And if he plays it long enough,
he even starts to
talk about going legit.
The outlaw, on the other hand
The outlaw, on the other hand
well, we reject the game.
Ain't nothing organized about our crime,
'cause our crime is freedom.
No rules.
ZELMARE: And nothing's ever broke,
and there ain't nothing to fix.
All we want is to live while we're alive
and die with a gun in our hands.
You a bit of an outlaw.
- Me?
- Yeah.
Your mama sees it, too.
In the eyes.
That's why she say, "Keep away."
I'm not an outlaw.
Then, which are you
A convict or a square?
I'm not either one of those things.
What are you, then?
I'm Ethelrida Pearl Smutny.
One of a kind.
I just came home to change my shirt.
- Mm-hmm.
- What?
What's wrong with her?
Where you off to?
They arrested your son.
I know. I'm handling it.
Same way you're handling your other son,
lives in an attic with an Irishman?
Come on, now. We talked about that.
We did. And there he is,
eating someone else's food, still.
Doc's gonna bail the
boy out this morning.
He got his bell rung pretty good,
but he's all right.
I'll get him.
He's not the only boy I got in there.
They all need bailing out.
Now, Doc's gonna sort it.
You best get out of my way.
You got something to say to me?
Don't you take this out on Mama.
You ain't going down there.
Loy Cannon, you know better than to come
between a mother and her child.
- I'm handling it.
- Oh. You handling it.
Well, send a letter to the pope.
You hear that, Mama?
- Daddy's handling it.
- Mm-hmm.
I got two baby girls upstairs sleeping.
You're gonna handle them, too?
Maybe into the hospital or the cemetery?
Pretty soon,
all we're gonna have around here
is a house full of clothes.
I said I'm
You like that coat you wearing?
The food you're eating?
How about you, Your Majesty?
You like the view from your room?
Your fancy blankets?
Where you think all that comes from?
The razor's edge.
What, we're supposed to get rich
and stay rich, how?
By saying our prayers?
The boy went to the club
and the bulls lit him up.
You act like that can't happen
just walking down the street.
Acting like I'm the villain,
when all I do is fight for this family.
You don't like how it's going?
You scared to take the risk?
Too bad.
We're on the ride now,
and we can't get off till
the roller coaster stops.
Now take off your damn coat
and get me some fucking coffee!
Can I get a "mm-hmm"?
OMIE: Pong.
OPAL: Ping.
OMIE: Pong.
OPAL: Ping.
My mouth tastes like metal.
OPAL: Ping.
OMIE: The law loosed your fillings.
It's your own teeth you're tasting.
I know what it looks like.
Is this prison or jail?
Kid got his bell rung pretty good.
Nah, he just never
been in the clink before.
Thanks to Pong over here.
Wearing grooves.
I moved him out the
back as soon as I saw 'em.
We was outnumbered.
That's good.
Tell the boss that.
"'We was outnumbered' is why your oldest
is looking at a decade
stretch on a chain gang."
You hear music?
Ask the boy.
Ask him.
Leon fought. He fought hard.
He shouldn't have been out there at all.
Boss' son.
Neck-deep in liquor and syphilis.
I'm fucked.
May as well bite my own throat.

Back in a box, huh?
Open the gate.
We'll see who ends up in a box.
You know why America
loves a crime story?
Because America is a crime story.
But here's the rub.
When we hear a crime story,
who do we root for?
Not the poor sap that got taken.
The victim, no.
We root for the taker.
The guy with the gat.
See, this country loves a man
who takes what he wants.
(WHISPERS): Unless
that man looks like you.
See, Johnny Society looks at me,
they see a fella that's
using crime to get ahead.
But you?
All they see is crime.
And that's why you're gonna lose.
'Cause I can take all the money
and pussy I want
and still run for president.
But you?
It's always gonna be the rope.
Tell him it's time to surrender.
What's he gonna do?
Man, go fuck yourself.
MILLIGAN: We don't have time for that.
This is about his boy.
What's the man gonna do?
Settle or war?
The devil lives in the past.
Ain't no going back to the way it was.
Tell him I'll keep the boy safe.
No matter what.
OPAL: You just bring him back home.
- We'll watch him.
- No.
You're all gonna die.
Buzz off.
DEAFY: It's me, Palomino. Open up.
Rough night?
(EXHALES) They're all rough.
Big raid, I heard.
Taking down some real bad guys.
You should've called.
Not your case.
Sure, but you and me we're partners.
So, anything you need. ¿Comprendo?
We're not partners.
Hey, that's private.
Guessing the story didn't end well
for the girl in the picture.
No, she died.
While I was overseas.
How'd she go?
I said "How did she go?"
If you don't mind me asking. (SNIFFLES)
Nelson Beets.
Broke in while she was sleeping.
Raped her,
strangled her with her own panties.
I got the letter while I was in France.
Well, they had me clearing land mines
on account I'm real precise.
Get a system, never vary.
other guys are getting distracted,
blowing themselves to smithereens.
Anyway, got the letter one morning.
Went out to clear a field.
Just laid down right there in the grass.
Must have been there three, four hours.
You know, I swear
the clouds look different over there.
Different how?
I don't know. French, I guess.
What was her name?
Was there something you needed?
No. Just, uh
I had a vision last night is all,
while I was saying my prayers.
"Shake the tree," said the Lord.
"And your suspects shall
fall like sweet, ripe fruit."
So that's what I'm gonna do.
Thought you might
want to shake it with me.
I got to
There's a lot of paperwork.
Big raid, you know?
Captain said, "Stick with Odis.
He'll be your guide."
Yeah, but you been
here, what, 25 years now?
I'm surprised they ain't
named a street after you.
You'll be fine.
Well, I'll let you know if
anything comes out of my day.
Yeah. You do that.

- No.
Calamita, hey, hey. Calamita, no, no.
He's right.
It's funny, yeah? (LAUGHS)
Like Charlie Chaplin. (LAUGHS)
Let's go.
CALAMITA: He thinks he can
scare them your brother
Like it's Halloween
and we're kids with our trick or treat.
How Josto scare them?
The more important is,
you scare an animal, you don't know.
Sometimes it fights.
You have to kill it.
Boss, I'm trying to
We got to make a move.
A real move.
Chaplin, come.
What is this?
It's what'dya c-coffee.
That's what you call this?
Yeah, with, uh, it looks like
milk and sugar.
Milk and sugar?
You know what's wrong with this country,
Your Jesus looks like a lady, hmm?
And everybody thinks
they're gonna be president one day.
So nobody do the job they got.
In Italy, we paid to sweep
we sweep. (GRUNTS)
We pay you to make a coffee,
you make coffee like Michelangelo.
- Hmm?
- Hey!
Boss, can you can you please sit down
and leave the fucking kid alone?
- Hmm?
- You think it's funny a man
slips in the ice, hmm?
Ice you're supposed to clear.
Your job.
But you think it's funny
because your lady Jesus tell you
that I'm gonna turn the other cheek.
I'm Italian.
And in Italy,
they had to nail our Jesus to the cross.
Otherwise, he comes down
and kill every last
motherfucker in Jerusalem.

Well, that'll-that'll do her.
Mr. Cannon.
You need to invite us in, Thurman.
Oh, yeah. Of course. Come in.
Uh, it's for our daughter.
She turns 17 today.
So, that's, um
So, how you been?
It's been a long night, Thurman.
Don't try my patience.
DIBRELL: Mr. Cannon,
I swear, whatever it is,
we can fix it.
LOY: You paid me back
with my own money.
You robbed my place,
your proxy shot a couple of my guys,
and then you turn around
and pay me back with my own money,
which, I got to say,
is about ten for balls
- and zero for brains.
- I like cake.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) No, not you.
Zero the number.
DIBRELL: We have some cookies.
I-I can get your son some cookies.
Does this look like my son?
Does he look like my son?
Tell them your name.
Zirominu Guglielmo Fadda.
I traded for him.
I traded my own son
to my enemy for power.
His mama cries herself
to sleep at night, but me?
I sleep like a baby.
You understand?
I will do whatever it takes to win.
Yes, sir.
Get the boy a piece of cake.
Your business is mine now.
You'll sign over the
deed this afternoon.
Mr. Cannon, p-please.
No, no. We're past "please."
Now we're at, "Whatever you want, boss.
Just don't kill me."
Also, you're gonna tell
me where your sister's at.
Oh, yeah, I've been doing some asking.
Zelmare Roulette.
Her and her butch Indian.
They broke out of prison
and now they're here.
Well, I want 'em.
What are you gonna do?
Whatever the fuck I want.
- It's my fault.
- Thurman.
I should have asked
her where she got the
But it's my first time, see?
Owing money to a
And I didn't
The rules, you know? What are the rules?
LOY: The rules are you tell
me what I want to know,
or I paint this room with you
and wait for your daughter to come home.
Well I'm here.
What's the rumpus?
I knew you were trouble
moment I laid eyes on you.
Miss Smutny.
In all my years of
educating colored children,
I never had a U.S.
marshal come to my office
and ask to talk to a student.
You mind giving us a minute?
I've been thinking about you.
About me?
Straight A student, I'm told.
Speaks a foreign language.
My Lord.
Your aunt, on the other hand
She goes on a cough-syrup bender
that ends in the pistol grip
bludgeoning of a pregnant woman
and the prayerful
execution of her husband.
An armed robbery that
netted Zelmare Roulette
all of $9.58.
You thought she
was in jail for littering?
Oh, and then there's her paramour,
Swanee Capps.
She was the third wheel
on a bank robbery crew
that killed a bank
manager father of three
and the coach of a peewee football team.
This is who you're protecting.
I know they're family.
And I know there, on
the north side of town,
colored folks talk
about "us versus them"
and "we got to stick together"
and what have you.
But if you deem yourself
a civilized person
And I know you do
You've got to act in a civilized manner.
End of story.
I'm asking.
Where's your auntie at?
Mm-hmm. That's what I said.
You know, do you not, that Africa is
the birthplace of civilization?
Which means both your ancestors and mine
came from the same green Savannah.
I got an A in anthropology.
That's factual.
Listen, I've been mired in this
town going on ten days now,
and I need to get home
to the wife and kids,
so I'll make this simple.
Tell me where your aunt is
or I'll get you expelled.
- Sir
- Oh, now it's "sir."
- Please.
- No.
The Lord said shake the tree,
and I'm shaking it.
Your life or hers.
One of 'em's getting ruined.
Which one is up to you.
Boss, let me explain.
Get him home. His mama's worried sick.
You can handle that, right?
Of course I can.
I didn't even want to be in there.
Ready to work?
Yes, sir.
We leave in five.
Arm up.
Calling all cars.
Suspect fugitives are holed
up at the New Parie Hotel.
I am inbound, requesting backup.
DISPATCHER: Roger that.
I could get used to this.
What, masticating savory vittles
and imbibing top-shelf hooch?
Someone's been
studying their vocabulary.
I am trying to be
punctilious with my locution.
Girl, I don't know what you just said,
but I like the way it sound.
OPAL: Hands.
Cover yourselves up.
Never mind that.
Let's get this over with.
- LOY: You're the puker?
So you must be the shooter.
Give me my gun, and I'll show you.
LOY: They got spirit.
God help me, I love a girl with spirit.
Get dressed.
SWANEE: Mister,
either rape us or kill us already.
LOY: Dying's too easy.
You owe me, and I'm putting you to work.
- We ain't whores.
- Don't need whores.
Need soldiers, invisible soldiers.
Soldiers the other
side can't see coming.
Who's more invisible than you?
DEAFY: Which room
are the two jailbirds in
The Negro and the Injun?
We don't like bosses.
You like bullets?
What do you want us to do?
ZELMARE: Hey, hey,
don't touch me. Don't touch me!
Son of a biscuit.
Good afternoon.
Cup of Joe, Doc?
Not today, Nadine.
Am I talking to you,
or am I talking to him?
Please. (SNIFFLES)
Have a seat.
Where is the consigliere?
You ever
You ever see a baby in a box?
A human baby, I'm saying.
Not some what do you
Small dog.
A puppy.
They're called puppies.
I know they are called
Listen, shit-for-brains,
this your little powwows
with the consigliere
That's over.
You're not listening,
so we are gonna stop talking.
Give some indication you understand
the English language.
I thought you said we weren't talking.
You said you were done talking,
but then you kept on talking.
CALAMITA: You think you're so smart?
Let's see how smart
you are, talking to my knife.
Have you seen a baby in a box?
I was
a baby in a box, cheese dick.
On the boat, coming over.
Just me and Mama 15 years old.
And she died, my mama,
coming into New York Harbor.
Tuberculosis, down in the hold.
So then it's just me
A baby in a box which
Welcome to America.
Everybody's got a sad story.
No, no, no, no.
You're not getting it.
Why I'm telling you
is not feel bad for me.
Why I'm telling you is
you need to know
there ain't a monster on Earth
than an orphan in a box.
When you're dead in the street
with shit in your pants,
just remember that
You shoulda listened.
Is that a fact?
That's a fact.
I think I'll have that
cup of coffee now.
Son, I hate to be the one to tell you,
you got it all wrong.
Your countryman, Machiavelli
He wrote,
"He who wishes to be obeyed
must know how to command."
Thank you, Nadine.
Like I tried to tell you,
I don't know how they
do it in your country,
but here in America
respect is earned.
He earned my respect.
But you
You're just boys
making a mess
that one day
I'm gonna have to clean up.
for the coffee, Nadine.

We should blow.
Bulls'll be here soon.
He don't deserve to be left
out in the street like this.
Boss, we got to go.
Come on. Come on.
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