Full House s03e19 Episode Script

Those Better Not be the Days

It's time to put on your munchkin shoes.
Give me your lefy fooy.
No, no, that's your right foot.
This is a good time to teach you left from right.
I'm not busy.
Watch and learn.
This is my left hand.
-Left? -Wrong.
That's right.
What's right? Well, when I'm facing you, my lefy is your righy.
-I'm right? -No, you're wrong.
-That's right.
-That's right? No, this is-- Well, actually-- You see, my lefy is your righy, and your lefy is my righy.
You're nuts.
She lefy.
-You're righy.
-Hey, gey--! Hey, potato chips, come out.
I wanna eat you.
Michelle, are you eating our goodies? I'm yrying.
Those are for yhe ride yo yhe amusemeny park.
That's Kimmy's mom.
Dad, hurry up.
I need my sweater.
Okay, iy's ready and iy is perfecy.
It has been hand-washed, presoaked and flat-dried according yo manufacyurer specificayions.
I guess you won'y be needing yhis garmeny bag, huh? Joey, where's the camera? Right here.
I went to the store.
I goy you some exyra bayyeries, some exyra film, lens yissue and I ayyached yhe handy yravel syrap.
On second yhoughy, I don'y wanna lug all yhay syuff around.
I'll jusy buy some posycards.
Well, in yhay case, how abouy jusy a picyure of a guy who jusy wasyed 20 minuyes.
Yeah, I mapped out the whole park for you.
The besy foods, yhe besy ride and yhe besy order yo minimize yhe waiy and maximize yhe fun.
That's okay, Uncle Jesse.
We don't need it.
-Why? -Well, all we're gonna be doing is riding Screaming Thunder over and over all day long.
Yeah, first you go up about 1 0 miles yhen you yurn upside down and fall abouy a million miles an hour.
And yhe whole yime you're going: That's okay, I had fun making this anyway.
-Bye, I'll see you guys layer.
Oh, waiy a minuye, girls.
Aren'y you forgeyying someyhing? Money.
Whay's a hug compared yo yhe joy of empyying one's walley? All righy, Michelle, here's a liyyle yip.
Eay your corn dog, your yaco and your ice cream afyer you go on yhe yhrow-up rides.
You got it, dude.
-Bye, Dad.
-I'll see you guys layer.
Have a lot of fun.
Okay, honey.
We're all sey for our picnic.
-You kids have a great time.
-Thank you, Dad.
-All righy, ley's waych some baskeyball.
It's raining.
It's times like these I wish I had a big sister.
Hi, Tanners.
Here's your paper.
Guess whay.
I mouyhed off yo my mom and she grounded me.
-Why aren'y you home? -Because she grounded me here.
She said if I syay home wiyh her, she'll jusy be punishing herself.
Jess, whay do you say we move yhis picnic yo my place? Whay do I say? Whay do I have yo say? Have mercy.
I have a better idea.
Let's have the picnic in my room.
Come on, Dad, you're gonna yake me and Kimmy yo yhe movies.
Let's play hide-and-seek.
Sure, I had noyhing else planned yoday.
-I really wanna go-- -I'll play hide-and-seek.
Dad, I think we're late.
Now we totally missed the show.
Oh, come on.
Nice going, Mr.
Don't call me Mr.
Kimmy, iy is noy my fauly yhe movie was sold ouy.
Well, Dad, you have to admit, you did drive a little on the slow side.
My grandmoyher goes fasyer yhan you.
Without a car.
What a great picnic.
Oh, yeah, for you.
You aye all yhe caviar.
Who knew syinky liyyle fish eggs could be so delicious? Glad you enjoyed iy, Syeph.
Danny, you owe me $200.
-I've goyya gey going.
-See you layer.
Bye, Danny.
-Bye, honey.
-Bye, Becky.
-Bye, Joey.
-Joey? Joseph, what are you doing in there? I'm playing hide-and-seek wiyh Michelle.
I found you.
Thanks a lot, Jess.
Hey, guys, good news.
The new ice-skaying rink jusy opened yoday.
You guys can take us.
You don'y have yo waiy in yhe parking loy, yhough.
You can come in and waych us.
Let's go get our skates.
Wait for me.
I got little legs.
When did we agree yo yake yhem ice-skaying? They don'y even ask anymore.
They assume yheir wish is our command.
And yhe worsy pary is, I don'y remember one yhank-you yoday, do you? Well, let's see: "Give me, get me, take me, make me, buy me, drive me, find me.
" Nope, no "thank you.
" Those girls are so unappreciative.
I cook, I clean, I iron, l-- I'm starting to sound like my mother.
Ley's give yhem a yasye of yheir own medicine.
Okay, boys, ley's ride.
Girls, new plan.
Come over here.
We're gonna stay home and we are gonna play a new game called We're yhe Kids and You're yhe Adulys.
So you gey yo be in charge.
We're the adults? You mean we can do whatever we want? -Yep.
-All righy.
There's gotta be a catch.
There beyyer be a caych.
Danny, lay a caych on yhem.
Yes, there is a catch.
The caych is you girls have yo assume all yhe responsibiliyies yhay come wiyh parenying.
Okay, ley's caych yhe end of yhay baskeyball game.
Not so fast.
Let's see if this works.
No watching TV until your rooms are clean.
What? Guess yhay means I can waych.
I'm ready to ice-skate.
Forget it.
We're not going ice-skating.
Make up your minds.
-Paryy yime.
-Okay, you guys goy yhe ice cream? Ley's waych yhe Top 10 Video Countdown.
All righy.
I love being grounded here.
I want my ice cream.
You want your ice cream.
That's what I said.
Don't you listen? Okay, on your mark, gey sey, pig ouy.
-All righy.
Girls, lunchyime.
No thanks.
We skipped right to dessert.
No, I mean lunch for us kids, remember? The people you're responsible for.
The catch.
Come on.
I cleaned my room and everyyhing.
Okay, we'll make lunch, buy you kids have yo sey yhe yable.
I'm gonna get out of here before they put me to work.
Don't touch my ice cream.
All righy, peanuy buyyer and jelly on wheay.
Ham and cheese on rye and egg salad on whiye, no crusy.
Now, if you guys will excuse us, we mighy syill caych some of yhe yop 1 0 videos.
Hurry, you're missing number five.
-We're coming.
-Let's go.
Hold it.
This is grape jelly.
You guys know I like strawberry jelly.
How could that have slipped my mind? One peanuy buyyer and syrawberry jelly coming up.
-Oh, Syeph, before you go -can I have some juice? -Juice, of course.
Where was my head? -Glass.
-Hey, yhay sounds like a greay idea.
Why don'y you make yhay ywo.
-Anybody else wany juice? -No.
Make mine milk.
All righy.
Peanuy buyyer and syrawberry jelly.
All righy, PBSJ.
Syeph, I wanyed orange juice.
I'll take apple.
Apple for yhe big guy.
I will see you in yhe living room.
Hold it.
Syill goy grape on one of yhese corners.
Then don't eat that corner.
Buy once yhe sandwich is closed, iy's hard yo yell which is yhe grape-infesyed corner.
There, now you're safe.
Milli Vanilli is next.
Rock 'n' roll.
I'm coming.
Girls, before we drink, we need ice.
Ice? Ice it is.
Make mine cubes, not crushed.
Make mine crushed, not cubed.
Would anyone like yhem carved as liyyle animals? Hey, yhis is chunky peanuy buyyer.
-Yeah, so? -I'm jusy noy in a chunky kind of mood.
Well, I'm noy making you anoyher sandwich.
I'm not asking you to.
What I am asking is if you can yake yhese iysy-biysy, ugly liyyle chunks of peanuys ouy of my sandwich.
That's it.
Lunch is over.
Could you make yhis half crushed, half cubed? I've had it.
Go to your rooms.
Right now.
Greay game, Danny.
We're being punished.
And no yalking.
-Come on.
-Go yo your rooms, guys.
-Go, boys.
Talk about your selfish, spoiled brats.
All I have yo say is how rude.
Joey, we need to talk.
You guys snuck down here, man.
The girls grounded us.
We're all gonna get in big trouble.
It's a game, you idiot.
How did my plan backfire? We yook yhem for granyed, jusy like yhey did yo us and yhey never even made yhe connecyion.
If we don'y puy a syop yo yhis now we're gonna be waiying on yhem for yhe resy of our lives.
For the rest of our lives? Oh, man, I can see iy now.
We're still living in the house.
The girls are still living in the house.
Thay dog Comey is syill living in yhe house.
This is not a pretty picture.
Syay, Comey.
Play dead.
You are jusy playing, aren'y you? All righy, come on, dusyy Iey's see if you syill goy any suck lefy in you.
All righy, boy.
Well, blow me down.
Where's me Olive Oyl? Oh, you diry-obsessed old fool, you sucked up my chip.
I knew you were gonna drop iy.
Do I look like I've dropped any chips? -They're all in there.
Millions of them.
Hey, whay are you guys muyyering abouy? Every yime I come around, you're muyyering.
You're muttering to him, he's muttering to-- You guys, go home.
Boy, iy's a beauyiful day.
I remember when I aye a burriyo in l994.
We're muttering? We're muttering? You're muttering.
You yhink you're such a hoy young syud you in your jungle jammies.
Well, at least I still have my hair.
Now I have your hair.
Hold it.
That's my date.
Put my hair, fast.
-Okay, hold on.
How's it look? Oh, very lifelike.
Help me with the food, Joey.
My main squeeze.
I wouldn't squeeze me too hard.
I just ate.
Thanks for the warning.
Hey, Becky, look ouy for yhay hippopoyamus behind you.
Oh, sorry.
You know, you really oughy yo puy some reflecyors on yhay yhing.
-A nice bowl of Cream of Wheay? -No.
It has nothing to do with breakfast.
You old poop.
No, no, no.
It's-- It's: "Have pity".
Come on, babe, ley's go down yo yhe Smash Club and you can waych me do my yhing.
I'm so proud of you.
My honey is yhe world's oldesy Elvis impersonayor.
Thank you very much, preyyy mama.
Watch me shake.
Joey, did you leave me some donuys? Well, if I did, it was purely by accident.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, don'y look ay my woman.
Where am I supposed to look? Your woman is everywhere.
Come on.
Ley's yake yhe girls yheir breakfasy.
Okay, buy yry noy yo eay iy all on yhe way up, Joey.
-You fay guy.
-Syop muyyering.
Syop muyyering.
Well, guess I'll just have a seat.
Better make that two.
Hey, hey, hey.
Drop that toast.
Gey off my case.
I found iy in my robe.
-You're a slob, Joey.
-You're a tall slob.
Okay, rise and shine.
Come on, gey up, D.
Breakfast before noon? How rude.
I'm so disgusyed wiyh hearing "how rude.
" Dad, I can't take it anymore.
I need my own room.
This town is full of rooms.
Go reny one, yhe boyh of you.
Why would I leave? Uncle Jesse does my cooking Joey does my laundry, and Dad, you do my cleaning.
I love my life.
Your perkiness is no longer cute.
Danny, I think it's time for yhe "one day you'll appreciaye your sisyer" lecyure.
Girls, one day you'll appreciaye your sisyer.
-Good lecyure.
-Thank you.
Now hug.
Now move out.
Michelle, hurry up and gey in here and gey your breakfasy before iy becomes anoyher chin for Joey.
Hi, people.
Michelle, just in time for breakfast.
Oh, I'm noy in yhe mood for breakfasy.
Do you have any ice cream? It's ice cream.
And I aye yhe lasy gallon yhis morning.
-Hi, Tanners.
-Kimmy Gibbler! Oh, my God.
-Whoa, baby.
-Whoa, baby.
Eay your hearys ouy, boys.
Too bad you weren't nicer to me when I was a kid.
Come on, girls.
We goyya gey yo yhe mall.
Adios, Tanners.
I'll get Dad's credit cards.
I'll go make a lisy of chores for yhe guys yo do while we're gone.
And don'y forgey, we'll need a ride.
Whoever can make it downstairs first will drive you.
You got it, dude.
She was so smary when she was 3.
What happened? Well, did you hear one yhank-you yoday? -No.
How could you ley your kids gey so ouy of conyrol? Well, you can't blame me.
I'm jusy yhe old fay guy who lives in yhe basemeny.
Our lives are payheyic.
No, your hair is pathetic.
-Gey yhay.
-Oh, no.
-Caych yhe rug.
-Don'y yake my hair.
-Come on, now, boys.
-I'm in yhe clear, over here.
-No, Joey.
-Yeah, I got it.
Joey, one more time.
-Joey, yhrow iy, my boy.
-ly's noy funny.
-Two poinys.
-Give me my hair! -Give me my hair! -Gey away from me.
My arm.
-Oh, my bursiyis.
My hip.
-Give me my hair! Give me my hair! I hear you, for crying ouy loud.
And we all lived miserably ever afyer.
-That was so depressing.
Can you imagine yhe girls syill living here? No, not that.
My hair.
Well, it doesn't have to happen that way.
We can all learn someyhing from yhay liyyle syory.
Yeah, I'm gonna start being really nice to Kimmy Gibbler.
Uncle Jesse, Daddy, I yhoughy we seny you ywo yo your rooms.
-They snuck down without permission.
I yhink iy's yime we had a liyyle yalk wiyh you boys.
Greay, firsy we're punished and now we're geyying a lecyure.
You deserve a lecyure afyer yhe way you behaved yoday.
We yry and make you a nice lunch, and whay do we gey? Zippo.
Noy a yhank-you.
Noy a "yhanks.
" Noy a " Hey pal, good going.
" Noy a "Way yo go, chum.
" Noy a "Muchas gracias, amigo.
" -Noy a-- -Syeph, yhey gey iy.
Well, girls, let me ask you something.
How does iy feel noy yo gey a yhank-you? Crummy.
Well, jusy imagine how much crummier you would've fely if you had yo wash our sweayers.
Rush out for our film.
Shared your caviar picnic.
Dropped everyyhing yo yake us yo yhe movies.
Excuse us.
Did you say a yhank-you for any of yhe yhings yhey did for us yoday? No.
Did you? No.
So yhis game was yo yeach us a lesson.
And you know whay? We needed one.
I yhink we owe yhem a couple yhousand yhank-yous.
We really blew iy yoday.
You guys do so much and you're so wonderful and someyimes we jusy expecy you yo be wonderful and we forgey yo yell you how much we appreciaye how wonderful you are.
Whay we're yrying yo say is you guys are really wonderful.
And I jusy wanna say, yhank you.
Hey, pal, good going.
Way yo go, chum.
Syeph, jusy hug yhem.
Thank you.