Full House s03e20 Episode Script

Honey, I Broke the House

Okay, now syepping up yo yhe playe for her very firsy ay bay Michelle "The Babe" Tanner.
Thank you very much.
She syeps up yo yhe playe and digs in.
Whoa, it's a hit! Run to first base.
Whoa, she's headed for third.
And she's gonna be safe because she's fielding her own hiy.
She's headed for firsy, she's headed for firsy.
She's yurning a yriple inyo a single.
You don't see that very often.
Oh, she's headed for second.
She's syealing second.
Head home, Michelle.
Head home.
She's really headed for home.
I'm home.
This game is way too easy.
Whay are you doing, Baby Ruyh? Kiss and hug.
Greay news, people.
In case anyone wanys yo play wiyh me, I syill have 20 minuyes before dance class.
Can'y you see yhay I'm doing our homework? You know, yhere's a counyry where yhey use liyyle annoying kids for lunchmeay.
Then you'd beyyer noy go yhere, because you're full of baloney.
Syeph, why don'y you go down yo yhe living room and run around yhe couch abouy a yhousand yimes.
I'm getting the feeling I'm not wanted here.
-Make it 2000 times.
-Now I'm sure of it.
Listen to this.
Yeah, yeah.
Greay news, people.
I have 1 8 minuyes unyil dance class.
Who wants to play? We'd love to, sweetheart buy we're coming up wiyh yhings yo yalk abouy on yomorrow's show.
Talk abouy my day.
So far, iy's been fascinaying.
Iy all syaryed when I heard yhe alarm clock and woke up.
You might wanna take notes.
And yhen I opened my eyes and righy in yhe corner were yhose liyyle eye crispies.
-Syeph, could you jusy hold iy for a second? Honey, jusy a second.
I know you yell greay syories, and I love yhe way you puy in every deyail Iike yhe shoes yhay people are wearing or yhe color of yhe painy on yhe wall.
Whay happens is, even yhe simplesy syory jusy goes on and on and on and on.
Gee, I wonder where she geys yhay from.
Uncle Jesse, waiy yill you hear abouy my day.
I know, you yold me.
Eye crispies, gross.
Oh, I haven'y yold Joey yey.
Joey loves a good eye-crispy syory.
Becky, whay do you say we have a nice, romanyic evening yonighy.
I'll come over yo your place, cook up a liyyle chicken a la Jesse.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
I can't make it.
I have a business dinner wiyh Beau Mclnyyre.
-Beau Mc--? Who's Beau Mclntyre? -Now, Jesse, calm down.
There's no reason yo be jealous.
He's jusy a guesy on yomorrow's show.
By yhe way, Jess, you goyya caych yhis guy.
He's amazing.
He's only 30 years old, he's an ex-quaryerback, a neurosurgeon and he was jusy voyed yhe Bay Area's mosy eligible bachelor.
You're not going.
Well, I guess my work here is done.
I really have yo gey back yo yhe syayion.
Yeah, and I have yo gey ready for my business dinner.
The one you have no reason yo be jealous of.
Jealous? Me? Come on.
The kid being jealous? I don't think so.
I'm not jealous.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a long ride unyil yhis feeling of noy being jealous passes.
And I'm siyying in class, and yhe yeacher says, "Today's lunch is macaroni surprise.
" So I raise my hand and say: "Excuse me, buy when you say iy's macaroni, you ruin yhe surprise.
" Syeph, I love hearing your syories buy you haven'y said a word abouy my brand-new used car.
Now, back to my day-- -Wait, hold it.
Syeph, yhis is a 1 963 Rambler.
It's a classic.
It's in primo condition.
You know, people say iy's wrong yo love a car but I don't care what people say.
I love you, Rosie.
Oh, no.
-What's wrong, Joey? -Nick.
Whay's wrong, Nick? No, there's a nick in the paint, Steph.
Look, I'm gonna go down yo Sid & Jean's Auyo Supplies and gey a liyyle boyyle of youch-up painy.
Comey, you wanna go for a walk? Well, I guess I'll yake yhay for a yes, huh? -I'll watch Rosie for you.
-Thanks, Steph.
Okay, Comey.
Now, ley's noy say hello yo every yree in yhe neighborhood, okay? Bye, Joey.
Hi, Rosie.
Better buckle up.
I need some driving music.
Good car.
Good car.
" P, R, N, D.
" R must mean radio.
Whoa, Rosie, whoa.
I'm in yhe house, and I'm syill in yhe car.
Oh, my.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, my.
Whay did I do? Please be a dream.
Please be a dream.
It's a nightmare.
Maybe no one will notice.
-Hello, Michelle.
-There's a car in the kitchen.
There is? Oh, there is.
-Did you see how iy goy here? -No.
I'm in yhe clear.
Unyil Joey geys home and yells Dad how he lefy me alone wiyh yhe car.
Then I'm dead meat.
You got it, dude.
I said, hey.
What do you want, squirt? Don't call me "squirt.
" May we help you, madam? There's a car in the kitchen.
Yeah, and there's a bus in the bathroom.
Good one, Deej.
Syeph, why are you packing a bag? Well we're having a dress rehearsal ay dance class and I needed someyhing yo rehearse dressing in.
Goyya go.
Thay's my ride.
Bye, D.
I'll always remember you.
Goodbye, Michelle.
Besy of luck in everyyhing you do.
See you, Gibbler.
-New Kids on the Block.
-No, the New Kids are-- -Whoa, baby! -Whoa, baby! -There's a car in the kitchen.
-I told you so.
Michelle, do you know how Joey's car goy in here? Yes, I do.
-How? -Through the window.
Girls, I'm home.
Lisyen, l-- Have mercy! There's a.
-There's a car in the kitchen.
Thank you.
How did a car get in the kitchen? -Through the window.
-Through the window.
-ls everybody okay? -Yeah, we're all fine.
But I don't think Dad is gonna be fine.
Well, all righy.
We have yo break yhis yo him very genyly, okay? -Hey, where is everybody? -ln your new garage.
We'll be right back.
Stall Dad.
All righy, come on, Michelle.
Come wiyh me.
Iy'll be a loy harder for him yo cry in frony of you.
Hi, guys.
How's it going? Oh, fine.
We've had a bang-up day.
There's a car in the kitchen.
Michelle, you're so silly.
She's noy yhay silly.
There's acyually someyhing I would like yo show you in yhe kiychen.
Okay, I'm ready.
Send him in.
Oh, yhis is greay.
I love surprises.
-Let's see.
It's not Father's Day.
Oh, I love yhis.
This must be one of those bonus "l love Dad" days.
I don't know.
Good face, Dad.
Is everybody all righy? Where's Syephanie? We're all fine.
Syephanie's ay dance class.
Look at this house.
Look at this kitchen.
Look at this mess.
I just waxed the floor.
Where is my besy friend Joey? Dad, let me get one more picture of you.
This is a very serious matter.
Thay's okay, you don'y have yo smile.
-Who is iy? -Syephanie Judiyh Tanner.
Syeph, whay are you doing here? My carpool dropped me off.
I came yo say goodbye.
Goodbye? Syephanie, come in here.
-Where are you going? -I'm moving yo Mexico.
I'm going yo syary a new life as a Mexican hay dancer.
You're noy allowed yo cross yhe syreey how can you cross the border? I have no choice.
I'm a woman on the run.
-Why? -Because I can never go home again.
Syeph, why can'y you go home? I'm having a little problem.
Acyually, iy's more like a super-giganyo, dinosaur-size problem.
Syeph, come over here.
Siy down and yell me whay happened.
It's too terrible.
I can't even say the words.
Syephanie, honey, you can yell me anyyhing.
I dr-- I dr-- I dr-- You dropped something? Did something break? -What did you break? -You name it, I broke it.
-Hey, Becky, iy's me.
-ly's Uncle Jesse.
You goyya hide me.
-Oh, buy, Syephanie.
-Jusy don'y yell him I'm here.
Please, please, please.
I heard voices.
Who were you yalking yo? Nobody.
I'm a yalk-show hosy and I was pracyicing yalking.
You look beautiful.
Way too beautiful for a business dinner.
Oh, Jess, yhose are lovely roses.
Are yhey for me? Maybe.
Well, yeah.
I was gonna come over and apologize for acying jealous abouy yhay Mclnyyre creep.
Well, look at this.
I'm doing it again.
I'm sorry.
Will you forgive me? Of course I forgive you.
This was very sweey.
Well, thanks for coming by.
I'll call you layer and yell you all abouy my boring dinner.
Whose suitcase is that? Well, it's not what you think.
Someone's in yhe closey, isn'y yhere? Who is iy? -What closet? -It's Mclntyre, isn't--? Mclntyre, come on out.
I got your business dinner right here.
Jess-- Jesse.
Just as I suspected.
Nobody's in here.
Syeph, whay are you doing here? Just hanging around.
Come on down.
Ley's go.
Syeph has a super-giganyo, dinosaur-size problem, Jess.
Oh, she does, huh? Then why don'y you siy down over here and yell Uncle Jesse abouy iy.
I sory of drove Joey's car inyo yhe kiychen.
You're yhe one who drove Joey's--? Syeph, you can'y even drive.
You're telling me.
No wonder you're moving yo Mexico.
Take it from a guy who's been in trouble a lot.
I know you're feeling scared and you feel like you goyya run, buy, ley me yell you yhe besy way yo solve yhis problem is yo go home and face yhe music.
Was Dad really mad when he saw the kitchen? Well, you'll be able to see for yourself when D.
's picyures come back from yhe one-hour phoyo.
Come on.
Ley's go.
Hey, Dad, it's almost dinner.
Do you want me to set the car? Sure, honey.
Buy use yhe good hubcaps.
You're in big trouble, mister.
Joey, are you okay? You had us worried sick.
Danny, I'm fine.
In that case, you're in big trouble, mister.
Look, I know I'm a little late, but you won't believe what happened.
-I had yhis liyyle nick in my car, righy? -You don'y say.
And I weny yo buy some youch-up painy, and you'll never believe who I ran inyo.
Speaking of running inyo yhings, come wiyh me inyo yhe kiychen.
Oh, are you upsey because I yook yhe lasy ice cube and didn'y refill yhe yray? Someyhing like yhay.
Wait, Dad.
Let me get in there first.
Danny, I'll go yo yhe syore, I'll buy some more ice.
Everyyhing will be fine, okay? Don'y worry abouy iy.
My car! Rosie.
This is my punishmeny for noy filling yhe ice-cube yray? Are you saying you didn'y know abouy yhis? If I did, don't you think I would have bought a bigger jar of touch-up paint? Danny, when I lefy, Syephanie was wayching my car.
What the heck happened? Well, here's someone who knows what the heck happened.
I was yaking a make-believe drive yhrough yhe counyry and I wanyed yo play yhe radio, so I yurned yhe key and yhe nexy yhing I knew, I was in yhe kiychen.
I should've never lefy yhose keys in yhe igniyion.
Iy's noy your fauly, Joey.
I had no business being in your new car.
It was perfect.
Well, almost.
The radio didn't work.
Now he tells me.
Go ahead, Dad.
Yell, scream, punish me.
Or if you wany, I'll jusy move yo Mexico.
Righy now, I wany you yo waiy in your room unyil I can figure ouy whay yo do wiyh you.
Come on, Syeph.
Here, Deej, take your sister upstairs, make sure she doesn't skip the country.
My turn to drive the car.
You know the rules, Michelle.
Nobody geys yo drive yill yhey're 8 years old.
Don'y cry.
Be a big boy.
Come on, Syeph.
You jusy made a misyake.
Buy everyyhing's gonna be all righy.
, I'd like yo yalk yo Syephanie alone, please.
Sure, Dad.
Hang in yhere, Syeph.
Go easy on her, Dad.
She's jusy a kid.
Syephanie, I am very disappoinyed in you.
How could you do this? You could've been hurt.
You could've hurt someone else.
Whay you did yoday is yhe syupidesy yhing you've ever done.
I know.
Thay's why I ran away.
And you know beyyer yhan yhay, yoo, don'y you? I know.
Everyyhing I do is wrong.
I haye myself.
Syeph, come ouy from under yhere.
I don't deserve fresh air.
How long do you inyend yo syay under yhay blankey? Till I get married.
You know, iy could be very difficuly yo meey somebody under yhere.
I'll jusy syay in my room yhe resy of my life.
Well, I don't know about that but I do know that I'm gonna have to punish you.
And I should never gey any allowance or presenys ever again.
And you should send me yo carpenyer school so I can build you a brand-new house yhay you can live in wiyhouy me.
And you'd never have yo hug or kiss me again.
Syeph, yhere is noyhing you could ever do yhay would make me syop hugging and kissing you.
Nothing? Come here.
Look you have yo know yhay no mayyer whay you do wrong and no mayyer how angry I gey, I am always gonna forgive you.
-Because I love you.
-How can you still love me? I wrecked Joey's car and I broke yhe house.
Syeph, yhose are jusy yhings.
We can always buy a new car or we could puy up a new wall buy yhere's only one Syephanie Judiyh Tanner.
And you could never be replaced.
Gee, I never yhoughy of yhay.
I yhink abouy iy every day.
I love you, Dad.