Future Man (2017) s02e05 Episode Script

J1: Judgment Day

1 Previously, on "Future Man" See how we fit into this brave new world, huh? That's no stray, that's Torque! - She biotech? - We'll know for sure after she takes the sewer mushroom test.
I'm the father of the cure, and you're kind of the mom.
- There he is! - Welcome back, Torque! - What's my deal? - You should make wheels.
- I'm a wheel maker.
- It feels like forever ago.
You were always looking for a way out.
What changed? Perspective.
This changes everything.
He crashed the simulation in less than ten minutes.
If we harness that power and use it to bring down the entire system, then we strike.
This procedure will 100% kill him.
Kill him? We need to find Tiger and go back and un-fuck this timeline.
- You can't leave the NAG.
- Wolf, pack your shit.
- We're leaving.
- Oh.
Oh, you're not dead.
You can come, too.
I see a light up ahead.
Thank God.
After that, it's just another mile or so.
You know how many wheels I'm gonna have to sell to pay for this little field trip? It's not a field trip, okay? We're on a mission to the cave.
We're not going to the cave.
We're going to get the TTD.
- Which is in the cave.
- That's impossible.
Maybe maybe the Pointed Circle has - their own TTD.
- No, also impossible.
There's no other TTDs or Cameronium in this timeline.
How the fuck did we do that? Eh, I think that was on me.
You see, back in the '80s me and Arnold used to work out together.
He set me up with a little office on the Paramount lot.
Said I was the only one he could trust to read his scripts, which is how I got my hands on a little jewel called "T2: Judgment Day.
" And judge I did.
It was a firecracker, blowing up the way we think about sci-fi.
It was also frighteningly prescient about the realities and dangers of time travel.
And I buried it.
I convinced Arnold that he shouldn't do a sequel.
True artists never repeat themselves.
Eventually, our old buddy "Jim" Cameron came by to ask me in person.
It was pathetic.
I guess he really needed a win after "The Abyss.
" "T2" could be his ticket back into the bigs, fueling his twin loves of blockbuster filmmaking and deep-sea exploration.
That's when I got a little thing I like to call, "pre-venge.
" Of course, he had neither built nor even conceived his robot house, SIGORN-E, but I knew.
Oh, I knew the hell he was gonna put her through and the tender mercy I'd show her as she faded into cold, sweet oblivion.
He must have been so confused.
He would later move to the Carolina coast to convalesce and build sailboats by hand.
Wolf, that is hardly what I would call - a proportionate response.
- Well, at the time I was doing a lot of butt cocaine.
Then, Tiger, I definitely saw your TTD, then.
No way.
I buried it somewhere they will never find.
Son of a bitch.
All right.
Let's go to your cave and steal back our TTD.
We're gonna have to do more than that, all right? We created this timeline, and now everyone here is in danger.
We owe it to this world to try and save them.
What is there to save them from? No one's fighting, we're above ground.
- This place rules.
- First of all, it doesn't.
Second of all, I told you there is a war coming.
- I heard it.
- Yeah, through a vent wearing a piss-stained sheet.
Okay, the point is, we are Time Warriors now.
- Ti-time Warriors? - Yes, Time Warriors.
It makes perfect sense.
We travelled through time - fighting for justice.
- Mm.
Okay, Time Warrior.
Point us in the direction of the cave you escaped from.
Uh, there's a lot of clouds.
It's gonna be hard.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
I'm on it.
Let's go.
- Pathetic, Futturman.
- I know what it looks like.
Hey, if we incinerated all of Kronish's research I just don't understand how Stu was able to still find a cure.
What I don't understand is how you wandered in a circle for most of the day and didn't realize it.
Sorry, Tiger, I was dying.
And here's a hole where you drank your own pee no.
Tried to drink your own pee.
That that is totally not what happened.
Wow, look at these claw marks.
Just so desperate to get every last drop.
You hesitated.
That was your downfall.
Hey, there's a whole bunch of people to see when you get back to the NAG.
Muskrat well, you'll know him now as Flathead.
He's crazy as ever.
Naked Mole Rat, aka Hacksaw.
What's with these tool names? Okay? They're stupid.
" Now, "Naked Mole Rat" - that's a name.
- Well, I guess the point - is they're they're alive.
- Right.
As completely different people who have no idea who we are and don't have our shared experiences.
Well, I guess that just means we get to create new ones.
Right, with people who smash technology - and live in garbage houses.
- Guys, guys, guys! This bush looks really familiar.
No, no, I'm wrong.
Keep keep going.
Hey, who told you about the NAG, anyway? Oh, you know.
I poked around, explored the back country, the Mons, the abandoned city.
- The Mons? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, did you wet your blade on some Biotic blood? Uh, well, no.
Bio-Techs are not the same as Biotics.
Big, big difference.
I mean, first of all it's spelled differently and, uh, they're not hunting humans.
- They're going to Mars.
- Oh.
Sounds like someone got awful chummy over there - with the Chopes.
- Whoa.
I don't know what that word means, - but it sounds pretty racist.
- Stands for "Chosen People.
" 'Cause they control the government, the money, - and the weather.
- You're just making it worse.
I recognize this place.
Think the cave is just over this ridge.
Look, anything you heard over there is a filthy lie.
That's what Bio-Techs do.
It's in their tainted blood.
When you get to the NAG you're you're gonna see - how much better it is.
- Yeah, no, I was there.
And somehow we got out of the sewer but seemed to be surrounded by more shit.
Oh, did you see all that in the three minutes before you dumped me on the curb? Like Charlie Sheen dumped me from a slow-rolling Lambo outside "Cedars" after the '89 Oscars? I still don't know how he drove.
God, that guy had his shit together.
Guys! Guys, I see it! It's right over here! Yeah, yeah.
Just give us a second.
Yeah, I left and I came back.
Did you even try to find me? Doesn't matter.
We're leaving this time.
Our mission was to stop the cure.
We failed.
We need to try again.
No, no, no.
We shot for the stars and we landed on a cloud.
We didn't sacrifice everyone and everything to settle for a second-rate future.
No, I'm done diddling with time.
- Our present is now.
- I vote we go.
- I vote we stay.
- Fine.
- Futturman will break the tie.
- He doesn't get - a full vote, though.
- Half.
- Third.
- All right, the point is, - he knows it's less than full.
- Agreed.
Futturman! They dragged him here.
Doesn't look like he put up much of a fight.
This is all your fault.
You got distracted drinking the Mons Kool-Aid.
I could smell it on your breath.
Huh, what's Kool-Aid? Don't care.
We're about to go into battle, so drop trou and let's incorporate this hostility, 'cause everyone knows the best charge is a hate charge.
So let her rip.
What's your 20 on that charging rod? Oh, I can't.
It's not right.
I'm married now.
Two beautiful husbands, three handsome wives and our pride and joy Lugnut.
Your what, your car? Daughter.
Okay, and what does any of that have to do with us charging up? Well, it may be crazy to think that a man can only have sex with five people for the rest of his life, but God damn it - I want to try.
- You want to go ahead and wash that bullshit out of your mouth? Did you know that charging doesn't have to be painful - at the start? - Uh, yeah, it does.
It's the friction that starts the fire.
There's a thing called "pre-Sow-play.
" - Yeah.
- Okay.
We kiss and we hug.
Feel some hot breath on your neck Maybe a maybe a tongue on your earlobe.
Lightly knead a a nipple or two.
Just get lost in the elegant design of the human body.
Oh You kiss? So now you're just just going around - touching rat-holes? - That's yesterday's timeline.
We eat beans now.
And yes.
I put my bean-hole over every inch of my lovers.
- Where you going? - Well, I'm gonna go self-charge, thanks to you.
And you know what? I'm very particular, okay? So don't make a noise, and don't make me feel guilty because I'm taking too long.
That'll only make it take longer.
All right.
You gave us quite a scare, there.
You know, if if you were gonna murder me, why go to the trouble of making me feel like a hero? Fine, you're not a hero.
- You're a tool.
- Does that have the same meaning here as it does in my time? What does it mean in yours? - Kind of like a dumb idiot.
- Oh, well in that case you're more of a tool than I thought.
You're that, but also a blunt instrument we intend to use to carry out a task.
You do have some fighting spirit.
You escaped but had the good sense to come back when he realized the desert meant certain death.
It's more than I can say for the first Josh.
He's probably dead by now.
Wrapped in a bed sheet, his carcass scorched by the unforgiving sun.
I can assure you, your death will not be so ignominious.
Meaning of or related to? It means undignified.
Your death will bring down the Camillo Machine and humanity will once again control its own fate.
- Led by you.
- No, by Achilles.
We all serve Achilles.
And we've learned our lesson.
Now, when we strap you to the chair we'll be using child-sized restraints.
Your slender wrists won't save you this time.
No, no, no, no! Stay away! Shh, shh, stay away! - Oh, my God.
- Stay away! Stay away! Okay, okay, okay! Okay, okay.
- Holy shit.
- Stay away, stay away.
You're okay, all right? You're okay, you're okay.
Just just breathe, all right? How how long were you in there? In there? I don't know.
I don't know, I was in The Black.
The Black I'm safe.
I'm safe in The Black.
I I couldn't see, but I I could hear.
I heard everything.
- I heard everything.
- Okay, okay.
Now now listen to me, all right? I am J1, the original Josh.
All right? Tiger and Wolf are gonna - be here any minute now.
- I remember them.
- They were my friends.
- Now, listen, I need to know: why are they trying to kill us? Hey, why are these people trying to kill us? We're they're Um, it's like a poison pill.
It's it's our brains.
They're gonna take them and and make them into, like, a computer virus and upload them inside of Stu.
And and that's gonna make the entire system come crashing down - just like - "Independence Day.
" But but why why me? - Us.
- You? Us? Oy.
You're, uh you're J1.
The programming for for the sim was Stu's, and and you crashed it.
So this this was actually because of you.
- You gave them the idea.
- But but I I didn't do anything.
I I was just being me.
See, it's it's like - it's like he's afraid of us.
- I mean, we did blow up the place he works, murdering all of his friends - and colleagues.
- For a good cause.
We gotta hide.
You you gotta find a different hole.
- Easy.
- I'm saving the back of the needle the needle's coming.
The needle can't get me if I'm in the Black.
Okay, so I'm gonna go into The Black - and you - Listen! - Okay, you're not hiding.
- Okay, I am! I have a plan.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! The the fuck did you get a shiv? It was a gift from The Black.
Let's go.
- Ah - Hey, come on.
It's a fucking light, let's go.
- The way out is - Shh! - It's over here.
- Yeah, come on.
I know.
I know the way out, I know the way out.
- The precious way out.
- Hey, shut the fuck up.
Listen to me we are not leaving, all right? We are gonna stay here and hide until Tiger and Wolf come.
Maybe - maybe here, in this one.
- No! No, no, no! Not that room! Not that room! Never that room! Never that room! These these people, they're insane, okay? They're they're not just gonna kill Stu, they're they're gonna sabotage the Mars launch and and break the armistice.
It's gonna be war all over again! - The end is nigh! - Shh! Stop! - Stop it! Stop it! - The end is nigh! The end is nigh! Hey, what the hell's going on down there? Come on, come on! Come Josh! You! Stay right there.
Do-do-do-do No! It's not me! I'm in there! I'm in there! It's not me! It's not me! What the fuck? The hell were you doing to yourself over there? Shut up.
Take this.
I don't use tools of war.
I'm a humble craftsman.
I don't know who you are anymore.
That comfortable? Good.
Okay, J26.
The good news is Since you were last in this chair, I recalibrated the upload VDR quotients and that should take care of the transitional adrenaline spikes.
Reverse-engineering Stu's tech was a lot harder than it looks, and J's 27 through 60 died pretty pretty horribly.
Oh, here we go.
This guy's for liquefied brain matter.
- Yeah.
- Hope we don't need that.
But I gotta tell ya I really think this one's gonna work.
Let me just get that needle ready.
To capture your mind in binary code, I need to stimulate every synapse in your brain all at once, so you're gonna feel every emotion, every memory simultaneously.
And then I'm gonna exist inside of a computer - like in "Tron"? - You know what? It's so funny every Josh asks me that and I tell you all the same thing: - I have no idea what "Tron" is.
- No - All right, ready? - No! Hey, you getting the same readings - that I am in here? - His occipital flares - are well within our margins.
- Yeah, I know, but this could actually be our Another death rattle.
God damn it.
Tell Apollo we have another one for the pile.
Hold on, this one's still alive.
- Awls! - Awls? Dr.
Eunice Hogeveen? I think we can still save him! Oh! He's on the move! I do not have eyes on him.
Do not have eyes on, repeat.
Oh, God.
Okay, you can do this.
You can do this.
It's just a just a normal pile of corpses.
Don't look down.
Oh! It's wet.
Hang on, buddy.
Don't quit on us now.
God dam it, we're losing him! These lines keep going up and down! - His body's freaking out! - Okay, we need to stabilize him! I'm gonna do CPK.
It's not working.
Pound harder! He's stabilized.
We saved him.
Athena, we've got the intruders up on Level 4.
You want him, you're gonna have - to get through us.
- Shit's about to get wheel.
Metal spoke sharpener! Tiger! I hear beeps! God damn it, we're losing him again.
Live! Live! Live! Here! All right.
Yes! I gotta hand it to him, he's a fighter.
- So are we.
- Yeah.
Perhaps I underestimated you after all J1.
Drop the machete, Athena.
You can kill me, but I serve Achilles.
If you strike me down you'll stop nothing.
No, I'm not a killer.
I'm not like you, you mass-murderer.
Um, you're the mass-murderer.
I only killed one person 59 times.
You blew up a whole building full of people.
Yeah, for a good cause.
That's the thing about you, isn't it? Obsessed with the big gesture, your role in the fate of mankind.
I I didn't ask for this, okay? - It was it was - Thrust upon me "When I least expected it.
" I know the story.
I've heard it 59 times.
That's how we got you into the upload machine.
All we had to do was tell you that you were a hero, - that you were the one.
- You you're just trying to make me feel bad for fighting for good? Listen to you.
All vanity, self-importance, ego.
You wouldn't understand actual sacrifice if it hit you in the shins with a stool and disarmed you in one fell swoop.
That seems like an oddly specific way to You're just a number, J1.
There's plenty more where you came from.
Each one as predictable as the last.
What the fuck is that thing? I don't know, but he doesn't look happy.
Good thing I saved this bad boy - for our largest fool.
- What are you gonna do? - Take out his watch battery? - Oh, Tiger.
It's not the size of the tool, it's the motion of the craftsman who wields it.
Yeah, right.
He's mocking you, Wolf.
Femoral artery.
Shh Easy, easy.
Easy, big fella.
What is happening? Go gentle into that good night.
Well, that was one of our sadder kills.
Wolf, we have a problem.
The machine shows a calm, flat line - but there's no pulse.
- See, this is why you can't trust technology.
Well, what can we say about our fallen comrade? Nothing I didn't already say in that kick-ass eulogy I gave the first time we thought he died.
There's no way I'm topping that.
- Okay.
- Tiger? Um I dunno, I just I wish I could look in his eyes one more time and just I dunno, just tell him that I Josh.
No, no, continue - with the nice words.
- How are there two of you? Uh, time travel it's weird.
- But please, you were saying - No, no, no.
I'll tell you next time you die.
How do we know you're our Josh? Fine.
I tried to drink my own pee in the desert.
It's good to have you back.
Yeah, well What do we do with this one? Hey, Josh, check it out.
I found a needle in a you stack.
Isn't it? Okay, we need to track down Dr.
Eunice Hogeveen and get that TTD back.
Otherwise, we're stuck in this shit timeline forever.
Well, TTDs aren't gonna do much for her.
I knew she'd eventually overpower me, so I slipped this out.
- Nice work, Futturman.
- Yep.
Well, time to get back to the NAG.
Oh, you're gonna love it.
Fresh water three times a week, air that actually moves.
We got a toothbrush! Uh, of course, I gotta run it by the ol' balls and chains first.
Hey, no, no, no.
No, Pointed Circle was plotting an attack.
And Athena's still at large, and and this Achilles guy I'm not hearing any tool names.
Sounds like a Mons problem to me.
No, it's it's an everyone problem.
"12 Monkeys" me said they're gonna break the armistice, which means absolute danger for both the NAG and the Mons.
Didn't he also say he was receiving gifts - from The Black? - Well, yeah We're safe in the NAG.
It can be home for all of us.
I am not taking that sewer mushroom test again.
Well, you probably won't have to.
- But don't quote me on it.
- I'm not going with you.
- There's still a mission.
- Oh, come on, Tiger.
This isn't our fight.
We already fought our war, and as far as I'm concerned we won.
Okay, okay.
The NAG might be second-rate now, but it's a start.
Yeah, a start to you settling.
I'm not gonna go play house in that dump while Josh is still in danger, okay? This is the only Josh they have left.
They are gonna be coming after it - harder than ever.
- "It"? Him, whatever.
I've gotta get to Athena.
He should go with you.
He'll be safer.
I pulled these off two guards it's how they communicate in secret.
Must be some sort of ultra-low-frequency transponder.
Those are pagers.
My dad used to have one.
8-0-0 8-5.
" - Good one.
- All right, so when we want to talk, we'll "boobs" each other and we meet at Josh's piss hole.
- That's Rendezvous Point Alpha.
- Do you have to make "Josh's piss hole" Rendezvous Rendezvous Point Alpha.
Well guess this is goodbye.
- For now.
- Yeah, yeah.
For now.
Oh, hey.
Don't let that room full of dead yous make you feel more insignificant - than you already are.
- Thanks.
You gotta live your life, and if that means some other people like you, or who look like you, or who even are you, have to suffer or die or be forgotten while you take their place, well, that's not on you.
That's on them.
AKA, the other yous.
My point is we're all just trying to survive.
I guess I did survive.
I'm the Josh that lived.
I'm J1.