Gamer's Guide To Pretty Much Everything (2015) s01e21 Episode Script

The Escape Room

Hey, Wendell.
Come to search for gold in our yearly closeout bin? No, Chad.
Everybody knows that the bin is just junk that no kid's dumb enough to buy.
"Middle-aged Magician.
The only thing he can't make disappear is his stage fright.
" It's not all junk.
There's a copy of Superhero Apocalypse in there somewhere.
The original? The one where he could still slap a guy with his own tongue? - And hog-tie him with his own guts.
- Sweet.
That's mine.
- Yes! I got it! - Superhero Apocalypse? No.
Prune Picker Pro.
You couldn't handle a game like this.
It actually requires strategy.
You know, you pick the prunes too early, you're stuck with a bunch of useless plums.
Ugh! Hey, I use strategy when I game.
I run in, scream a lot, then blow everything up.
- Including your own teammates.
- "Strategy.
" If you gentlemen are interested in really testing your strategy, you should check out my new business venture.
- I run an Escape room.
- Lame! What's that? Only a room that challenges your wit, teamwork, - and deductive reasoning.
- Lame! Keep going.
And if you solve all the puzzles, you'll uncover a pretty sweet prize.
- Puzzles? - Prize? We're in! Good luck.
Nobody's ever found the prize.
Well, I will.
I'm gonna dominate this escape room if you stay outta my way.
Nobody can outwit a Ruckus.
- Oh, look, there's Superhero Apocalypse.
- Where? And that's how you outwit a Ruckus.
Ha! I got the game! 1x21 - The Escape Room "Our escape room will test your team's ability to get out of a tense situation in a limited amount of time.
" We're gonna be great at this.
With me as our leader, Franklin as our tactical genius.
Don't forget about what I bring to the team.
I am great at puzzles.
I am focused and cool under pressure.
Hold this.
Ash, Ash! That's not your locker.
Another puzzle solved.
Sorry about your locker, Bernard.
Behold my escape room! A labyrinth of puzzles, mysteries, and unsolvable riddles.
Yeah, yeah, everybody knows what an escape room is, you sad nerd.
Let's get this thing going.
I got a bachelorette party coming in after you, and I'm hoping to snag me a lonely bridesmaid.
I don't think they make 'em that lonely.
Anyway allow me to introduce you to your host for the evening.
Hello! I'm Reginald T.
Vanderwink, a billionaire who's collected riches from all over the world.
We came here to win prizes, not watch community theater, Chad.
You four are criminal masterminds.
Feel free to adopt a character Yeah, we'll take a hard pass, Vanderstink.
You have 30 minutes to find my hidden vault.
Starting Oh, hang on.
I gotta wait for the second hand to come back around.
And I missed it.
Now I gotta wait for it to come all the way around Get out! And begin.
Gamers, the key to mastering any escape room is well, to escape the room.
But to do that, you need teamwork.
It's like any multi-player video game.
And I know this about my squad.
We are great at working together.
- Let me try! - I got this! - Wrong! - I'm yelling, too! Guys, stop.
We used most of our time arguing about who's gonna open the first clue.
I'll read it.
"In order to pass the first test, find the thing that's not like the rest.
" Oh, I got it.
One of these levers has a white handle.
No offense, Ashley, but if you could figure it out, then it's not much of a challenge.
- I said no offense.
- Guys, I got it.
The paint on these walls is Sierra Sands.
But the paint on this wall is Swiss Mocha.
Franklin, it's not the walls.
It's gotta be the vent.
Check it out.
One of these screws is different than the rest.
The vault's gotta be through there.
Oh, Franklin, you got a screwdriver in there to open it? Well, I didn't bring a screwdriver, but I do have an emergency flare stick, a bear trap, a candle, a portable commode - I found this toolbox over there.
- Perfect.
I'm on it.
Wendell! Nice work.
- Oh! - Whoa.
This must be the next level of the escape room.
Chad really went all out.
Well, I guess we better start smashing stuff until we find our prize.
Well, lamp's a dead end.
Hey, guys.
There's a safe right here.
This must be where the prize is.
Don't worry.
I've got my junior safe cracker's device.
Franklin, that's a toy from a box of Turtle Toasties cereal.
- There's no way - Got it! Whoa, Turtle Toasties is really stepping up their toy game.
Whoa! This must be the prize! That was easy.
We're running out of time.
Let's go.
- Hey, there's an exit right there.
- Guys, guys.
You really think an escape room is gonna have a regular exit? This has gotta be the hardest challenge of them all.
There's gotta be multiple lock points, reinforced deadbolts, security codes.
Or it's just a door.
I am so psyched to win an actual grown-up briefcase.
Score! - I think the prize is inside.
- It's heavy.
I bet it's chock full of soup.
Come on, Ashley, it's not soup.
There is a solid chance it's a big old snake.
Okay, soup? Snakes? Guys, come on.
- Let's not get our hopes up.
- Yeah.
This prize came from Chad, remember? It's probably just a couple of lousy games from the bargain bin.
Or it's a butt-ton of cash! So, gamers, the prize for the escape room was $40,000! I guess Chad didn't think anyone would be smart enough to crack his dumb vent puzzle.
And now, for the first time in my life, I'm able to make it rain.
I used ten dollars to buy a whole bunch of fake money to make it rain.
But the real money is in our Pay Buddy account for team expenses only.
It was a little hard, but we all agreed it was the responsible thing to do.
Nice pony.
Nice butler.
Go ahead, Wendell.
Take your shot.
I'm sure you have something to say about my hot new look.
I don't need to.
Winthrop! Your attire looks gaudy and ill-advised.
Perhaps you should consume a satchel of stones.
Did you just use butler-speak to tell Franklin to eat a bag of rocks? Indeed.
Guys, guys, what What's going on? You spent the money we said we weren't spending.
You people should be ashamed of yourselves.
- Why is that helicopter so low? - How would I know? You three should go home now, and be ashamed of what you've done.
Okay, I might've bought a small helicopter.
But I got a really good deal on it! I can't decide between the crab and the lobster.
Uh, we're rich now.
Excuse me.
We would like you to shove a crab into a lobster.
You heard me.
I ordered a crobster.
- So this is where you disappeared to.
- Hi, Chad.
Wanna join us? We're just here doing rich people things.
I'm here to give you your bill for the vent you broke in my escape room yesterday.
And I'm not taking that snotty Benjamin.
Uh, what are you talking about? We had to break the vent to get into the second room.
There's no second room.
Uh, doy! Of course there's a second room.
That's where we found the prize.
Uh, the grand prize was never uncovered.
It was a coupon for five percent off your next visit to my escape room.
Now here's the bill for the damage.
Wait a minute.
If there isn't a second room, where were we? And whose $40,000 did we spend? - Okay, here's your crobster.
- Uh, we didn't order that.
Yeah, do we look like we have crobster money? What's wrong with you?! So, gamers, turns out, the money we won was actually money we stole from someone's safe.
Easy mistake.
We didn't wanna return all the cool stuff we bought, but we all agreed we had to do the right thing.
No, Conor, you can't take Winthrop away from me.
I can't live without a butler.
Who will chew my food for me? Good day, sir.
We're missing a lot of money.
I guess there's only one thing we can do.
You're right.
Sneak the briefcase back and run away like cowards.
It's the right thing to do.
- We're just good people.
- Mmm.
Come on, guys.
No, no, no, no.
I said half pepperoni, half sausage, and half mushroom.
Don't question my math.
Just do it.
Wendell, not now.
We have to be completely focused and Whoa! That's the limited edition X Station console! I've always wanted to see one of these.
Wait, there's no console.
It's just gold coins? These aren't coins.
They're Aztec gold medallions that were stolen from the museum last week.
I guess you guys don't get the museum newsletter.
Wait a minute.
Guys, I think all of this stuff is stolen.
This must be some kind of crime den.
That's why I feel so at home.
Okay, we gotta get outta here and go to the cops.
Maybe those guys will give us a ride.
Hide! So then she asks me, "Why do I have to pay for dinner?" So I told her, "Because that's what's up!" Okay, enough of the yuk-yuk.
We need to load the truck before Karl gets here, or that's what's really gonna be up.
Not now.
I'm hiding from some criminals.
You're out of zany bread? What are you kids doing in here? Well, these two are hiding from you.
I'm dealing with a zany-bread fiasco.
We need to take care of them before Karl gets back here.
I don't know how you got in here, but you made a big mistake.
Well, well, well.
Way to go, boys.
Big surprise.
You messed up again.
- Who are you? - Who am I? I'll tell you who I am.
I am Karl's favorite nephew U-der.
Karl never mentioned a nephew named U-der.
Of course not.
So I could test the operation you're running.
My crew just strolled in here and stole $40,000 from this unprotected safe.
Huh? - And that's what's up.
- That's what's up.
That's right, that's what's up.
That's enough of "that's what's up.
" Here's your money back.
We took a little something for our troubles.
For a pony! Come on, guys.
Let's go do some more criminal stuff for Karl.
- Uh who are you? - Karl.
- Who are these kids? - Your nephew.
I have no nephew named Uder.
- And that's my hat! - Guys, I think it's time we take a page out of Superhero Apocalypse.
- Get them! - Game on! Rekt! Let's get outta here.
Oh, no, it's locked! Yeah, of course it's locked.
We're in an escape room! We have to solve a puzzle to get outta here.
Oh! We better hurry up.
A couple of Swedish meatballs are gonna come rolling out of that vent any second.
Okay, the clue said find the thing that's not like the others.
Guys, I think it's the levers.
Ashley, not now.
We're trying to figure this out.
I told you before.
The paint on this wall is Swiss Mocha.
How do you know these colors anyway? - I study rainbows.
- Oh What that even means? Okay.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
The clue's gotta be in this clock.
- Guys, the three is a different font.
- On it.
Clock's a dead end.
Game over.
This is it, guys.
Oh, no! They trapped us in an escape room.
"In order to pass the first test, find the thing that's not like the rest.
" I love poems.
One of these walls is Sierra Sands.
No, it's not.
It's clearly Swiss Mocha.
Well, I talked to the cops.
They just busted Karl and his gang as they were coming out of the escape room.
Good thing we got out of there in time.
Well, you're welcome.
Smashing that clock really did save our butts.
The clock had nothing to do with it, Wendell.
Yeah, it was a team effort.
We all banded together - and let Ashley save our butts.
- Yep.
- Told you I was good at puzzles.
- Sorry we didn't listen - to you in the first place, Ash.
- Yeah, sorry.
Just do me a favor and remember that for next time.
- Absolutely.
- You got it.
No promises.
What happened to you, Chad? I went to reset my escape room, and some huge, angry Viking dudes were in there arguing about paint colors! They kicked me in the neck.
Did one of 'em say, "That's what's up"? Yes, they did.
Do you know them? I don't know what you're talking about.
You know your butler's gonna find out you don't have any money to pay him.
No, he won't.
Butlers are so dumb.
- Your afternoon snack, sir.
- Well, it took you long enough.
I was about to clip my own toenails.
That's butler work, you.
What's wrong with this popcorn? Oh, I forgot.
I told Winthrop you're broke.
Which is why you're literally eating a bag of rocks.
Well-played, butler.

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