Garfield and Friends (1988) s06e04 Episode Script

Next Door Nuisance/What's It All About, Wade?/Bigfeetz

- (Announcer) Ladies and gentleman, Garfield and Friends. (drumroll)
We're We're
Ready Ready
To To
We're ready to party
We're ready
I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪
Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Dancing Fiesta
Romancing Siesta
Samba La bamba
Ay caramba
Disguises Disguises
Surprises Surprises
And pies of
And pies of all sizes
Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Garfield and Friends
- (Garfield) Everything else you watch on TV this week
will just be anti-climatic.
(upbeat music)
- (sniffing) Huh?
- Odie, do you smell something?
- Uh huh.
- It smells like barbecued ribs.
We don't own a barbecue.
Garfield, you didn't steal Mr. Burnside's barbecue?
- (Mister Burnside) Where did my barbecue go?
- You did steal Mister Burnside's barbecue.
- Irv, what happened to our barbecue?
- That walking appetite walked off with it.
- Oh, the cat.
Are you gonna go beat up Mister Arbuckle again?
You're gonna rent our house?
Where will we live?
- Any place that's not next to door
to that feline garbage disposal.
(wheels screeching)
- Hi, so this house is for rent.
Sorry, Mr. Benton.
So this dump is for rent?
How much you want?
- How much you got?
- Well, let's see.
I have five, 10.
- 10, I'll take it.
Here's your lease.
- The Burnsides are moving away, Garfield.
We've lost our neighbor.
- (Garfield) We haven't lost a neighbor.
We've gained a barbecue.
(wheels screeching)
- Here comes our new neighbor whoever he is.
Keep on singing
Just keep on singing
Everybody sing along
Keep on smiling
Just keep on smiling
How could anything go wrong
Life is like a happy parade
Show the world that you're not afraid ♪
Just keep on singing
And keep on smiling
And keep on rolling
And keep on strolling
And keep on singing along
- (Garfield) What was that?
And how do I make sure it never happens again?
- Our new neighbor's rather--
- (Garfield) The word you're looking for is horrible.
- Somebody oughta go ask him to please hold it down.
- (Garfield) You're right and throw in some
cheap threats while you're at it.
- You think I can't handle this.
I can handle this.
- (Garfield) At last, a mission so simple
even Arbuckle can't botch it up.
- Hey, you must be my new neighbor.
Well, come on in.
Would you be good enough to tell everyone your name, please.
- Everyone?
There's just you and me.
Jon Arbuckle.
- Jon Arbuckle.
Let's really hear it for him.
Jon, I'm Larry Lark, star of stage, screen,
and the house next door (laughs).
So Jon, what do you do for a living?
No, no, don't tell me.
I can guess.
- I'm a cartoonist.
- No, no, you're a singer.
I can tell by those lips.
You sing, don't you?
- Oh, a little.
- Well, how 'bout joining the old Lark-miester
for a little duet?
(bright music)
Keep on singing
Just keep on singing
Everybody sing along
Keep on smiling
Just keep on smiling
How could anything go wrong
Life is like a happy parade
- (Garfield) My sentiments exactly.
Go next door and bite anyone who's singing.
If indeed that's what they think they're doing.
And keep on rolling
And keep on strolling
And keep on singing along
- Arbuckle, you're beautiful.
- No, you're beautiful.
- No, you're beautiful and I want you
to really look the part.
Pick out any coat you like.
(knocking on door) (soft music)
More of my fan club gathering.
(knocking on door)
Hey, a puppy dog.
Good to see you pupster.
Come on in.
- (Garfield) Ah, quiet again.
Good ole faithful Odie.
Good ole (snores).
Keep on singing
Just keep on singing
Everybody sing along
Keep on smiling
Just keep on smiling
How could anything go wrong
Life is like a happy parade
Show the world that you're not afraid ♪
- (Operator) Emergency operator.
What seems to be the trouble?
- (Garfield) What seems to be the trouble?
Listen for yourself.
Keep on strolling
- (Operator) Oh, well we'll have a squad car
there in five minutes.
Try to hold on.
(police sirens wailing) (bright music)
- Don't worry, pussycat.
We'll take care of this matter.
- (Garfield) That oughta take care of it.
You know you can always trust the police
to handle any emergency no matter how ugly, no matter how--
Keep on singing
Just keep on singing
Everybody sing along
Keep on smiling
Just keep on smiling
How could anything go wrong
- (Garfield) I'm not taking this lying down.
I'm calling the humane society
and the noise abatement league
and every music lover in town and the National Guard.
Keep on scrolling
And keep on singing along
- (Garfield) Ah!
No, no.
I can't take it anymore.
There's only one thing to do.
I've gotta find the Burnsides and get 'em to move back.
- Alice, what's wrong with this scale?
According to this, I've gained 10 pounds since breakfast.
- So have I, Irv and it's weird.
We've only had two meals.
- Yeah but now that we don't live near that cat,
we actually ate all of 'em.
- That's right.
- Without that cat to steal away half our food,
we're both gonna get fat.
- We'll both be the size of elephants by Christmas.
- Come on.
We have to get our old house back.
- I don't wanna be fat.
- (Garfield) Please come back.
- Listen cat, are you gonna keep stealing
half of everything I try to eat?
- Probably.
- Call the moving van, Alice.
We're moving back.
(soft music)
Alright everybody.
Get out of my house.
Keep on singing
Just keep on singing
Everybody sing along
Keep on smiling
- This is a delicious meal, Alice,
and with the cat stealing half of everything we eat,
we'll both keep our weight down.
- Yeah, but what are we gonna do
when he tries to take all of it, Irv?
- That's a cinch.
I found this sheet music here.
Keep on singing
Just keep on singing
- (Garfield) Ah!
No, no. I can't take it anymore.
Keep on smiling
Just keep on smiling
Tell me if I sound real rude
(upbeat music)
- Ah, there's nothing like a quiet evening at home.
(bright music)
Not around here at any rate (sighs).
(upbeat music)
- Hi Wade.
Ooh, watch out for that caterpillar.
- Caterpillar.
Ooh, ooh, it is a caterpillar.
Help, caterpillar.
Well upholstered worm.
Help oh help.
- Let me pause this here for a second.
Now you say he does this everyday.
- No, Professor.
- Well, I should hope not.
I cannot imagine anyone having a full blown
panic attack every single day.
- He does this every hour.
- Every hour?
- Sometimes every five minutes.
- Amtrak should have his on time record.
- Can you help him, Professor?
You're supposed to be the world's foremost expert on fear.
- I think I can help your friend
with one of my two week therapy sessions.
I only wish you'd brought him along.
- We did.
- (stutters) I'm sorry.
I have a dread fear of old magazines.
- Two weeks?
Not enough.
- Maybe I should clear six months.
- I suffer from gallariphobia.
- Ah yes, the fear of someone putting ketchup
on a corn beef sandwich.
- Oh and I suffer from oopsaphobia.
- The fear of having to pry a fat person
off plastic lawn furniture.
- And then there's my biggie, clavamenaphobia.
- Ah, the fear of someone named Pete coming by
to use your garbage disposal.
- He's been at this a week now.
Noticed any difference?
- In Wade? No.
But I think the professor's developing a neurosis or two.
- Say, wanna help him with a chore?
- A herd of wild horses couldn't drag me away from this.
What is it?
- A herd of wild horses.
The farmer just bought them and I have to count them.
- Guess I was wrong.
- How about zellmonicowacaphobia?
- I don't know what that one is,
but you tell me what it is and I'll be afraid of it.
- Zellmonicowacaphobia is the fear of being attacked
by talking flashlight batteries during a potato race.
- Oh, I was up all last night with that one.
So that's what it's called, eh?
- 19, 20, 21.
- Boy, those are mean looking wild horses.
- 23, no kidding.
- Orson.
- 25, not not Roy I'm counting.
- Ors--
- Roy, I told you not now.
- Orson, might this be a good time
to discuss the roof on the barn collapsing?
(horses galloping)
- Ah!
Help! Help!
- Professor, what is the name for a fear
of having your friends trapped atop a flag pole
fleeing from ferocious wild horses?
- It doesn't seem to be in here.
(soft music)
- There.
It is now.
Help, dire emergency I don't want no part of.
Help. Oh help.
Help. Help. Oh help.
Dire emergency.
Dire emergency I want no part of.
Help. Help. Help--
Now I've done it.
I've run completely out of the cartoon.
Gee, this is kinda nice here on the blank paper.
Nothing to scare me.
No backgrounds.
No other characters.
- (JD) Oh Wade.
- Who said that? Oh, it's you.
It's our cartoonist.
- (JD) Wade, what are you doing over here?
You're supposed to be in a scene.
- No, no. Hold it, JD.
Couldn't I stay here awhile?
- (JD) How long?
- Is forever too long?
- (JD) Wade.
- But it's so peaceful here.
Just me and the blank paper.
Still buying the cheap stuff, I see.
That's just a joke.
- (JD) Wade, you can't stay here forever.
- Why not?
Think of the money you'll save doing cartoons
with no backgrounds.
- (JD) Wade, you like it here
in your own little blank paper world, don't you?
- So very much.
- (JD) Supposing, now just supposing I drew
a little monster right about here.
- Ah! Don't do that, JD.
You will spoil everything.
There, all perfect again.
- (JD) Well supposing I drew.
- Please don't.
- (JD) A little flower right here
and we'll even add a little color so it's just like this.
- Well, that's alright.
Just so long as it doesn't attract bees or anything.
- (JD) No, just a flower.
- Nothing else?
Oh, I get it.
You're trying to remind me
how pretty the world can be sometimes.
Well, I admit that.
It can be well like when I'm with my friends.
Oh, I get it, you sneaky cartoonist type person you.
The flower is supposed to remind me about life
and about my friends and how if I live here
on the blank paper forever, I'll never see them again.
Ha, you thought I'd fall for that?
Which reminds me.
Did Orson and Roy get away from those wild horses?
Okay, okay.
I'll admit I'm a little worried about them.
Alright, have it your way.
A lot worried.
But if I go back to check, I might have to help them,
and well yes you're right, they did try to help me.
They're always helping me and I keep running away.
I know what you think.
You think I'm selfish.
Too selfish to go back and try to help them, right?
Well, I'll show you, JD.
Watch this.
Oh, I hope I'm in time.
I hope I'm in time.
- We're in big trouble, Orson.
- Our only hope is Wade.
- Gee, we're in bigger trouble than I thought.
- Hold on, guys.
Wade is here.
Now what's he gonna do?
Oh, I know.
I need a rope.
Where am I gonna find a rope?
There it is.
Thanks, JD.
- So this is how it all ends?
I always thought I'd get mine in a buddy bears episode.
- The flag pole's cracking.
- (Wade) Grab the rope, guys.
(bright music)
- We made it.
- Who threw us that rope?
- Tada (laughs).
- Wade, you did a brave deed.
- Well, I usually manage one a season.
Don't expect the next one 'til like
November December something like that.
- What made you do it?
- Oh, a flower.
Thanks boss.
That and my usual burst of fear.
- Fear?
- Fear of not having you guys around anymore.
- Well, speaking of fear, what happened to the Professor?
- Here he is.
Professor, did you figure out the causes
of Wade's anxieties?
- Oh no, stop.
Don't do it.
Not now.
Help. Help.
- What caused that?
- I think he had a bad case of swoopaphobia?
- Swoopaphobia? - Swoopaphobia?
- Yes, the fear of a cartoon ending (chuckles).
Watch this.
- I see what you mean.
- That is kinda scary.
(upbeat music)
- (Announcer) Welcome to Incredible Stuff,
the show that shows you incredible stuff.
And now the host of Incredible Stuff, Skip Skeptic.
- Thank you, thank you.
And welcome to Incredible Stuff.
Boy, have we got incredible stuff for you tonight.
Like the story of Elmer Zipper.
A man who can climb completely inside a baked potato.
How does he do it?
- (Elmer) Oh, it's not really all that difficult
if you leave out the sour cream.
- (Man) 946,612.
- Or the story of Walter W. Funnyname
who has spent the last 27 years
counting grains of sand at the beach.
Walter, how do you do it, Walter?
- Oh Skip, please don't bother me.
I was right in the middle.
Oh darn.
One, two, three.
- All this plus details on our $50,000 reward
for a photo of Bigfeetz.
- $50,000?
Do you know how much money that is?
- (Garfield) Let me check.
$50,000 is 10,000 pepperoni pizzas.
- Ooh, that's what I thought.
Garfield, we're going to go searching
for the legendary creature that everyone has heard of
but no one has ever actually seen.
- (Garfield) We're going looking for a plumber on weekends?
- We're going looking for Bigfeetz.
I'm gonna get a photo of him and win $50,000.
Do you know how much $50,000 is, Garfield?
- (Garfield) Sure.
It's 12,500 orders of shrimp fried rice or 8,333.
- Bigfeetz, a legendary hairy creature with enormous feet
sometimes reported to live in the north woods.
Yes, I know other people have tried,
but I'm gonna spot you Bigfeetz.
- (Garfield) How 'bout spotting a big branch?
Uh oh, that's gonna be sore tomorrow.
Odie, you stand guard and I'll go find a doctor or a nurse
or a caterer or something.
What fun hiking through the forest
at night looking for help.
Searching for Bigfeetz.
What a silly idea.
Especially when you could be home eating leftover meatloaf,
but at least I know the main road is that way.
Or is it that way?
Or that way?
I'm trapped in the forest at night without a map
or a cellular phone or a meatball sandwich.
Or a reasonable facsimile.
- Let's try this way, Sid.
- I hear something coming.
Something growling.
- Uh oh.
- (Garfield) That's my stomach.
Listen, I have a friend in trouble.
- That's not Bigfeetz.
That's a cat.
- Out of the way cat.
- (Garfield) Wait, Jon needs help.
Hit a rock.
Why would they put a hole right here in the middle of the.
It's a footprint.
A big footprint.
There are a whole lot of big footprints.
They must belong to Bigfeetz.
Brilliant deduction on the cat's part, huh?
These feetz-prints, footprints lead right to that cabin.
Wow, what a big welcome mat.
- (Man) With my feet, I need it.
- (Garfield) Who's that?
- (Bigfeetz) Well, I'm not a buddy bear.
- (Garfield) Ah!
- (Bigfeetz) (laughs) Scared you out
of a couple of your lives did I, pussycat?
- (Garfield) Two through eight if you must know.
- Who cares about that cat?
- It must've seen something.
You booted him down this way.
Look at these footprints.
- Oh, we're gonna be rich I tell ya.
- (Bigfeetz) I had a job once.
- (Garfield) Yeah.
- (Bigfeetz) Used to work for the Parks department
stamping out forest fires.
I had to quit.
- (Garfield) Oh?
- (Bigfeetz) People were always trying
to take pictures of my feet.
- That's him.
That's Bigfeetz.
- Come on, pal.
You're coming with us.
- (Bigfeetz) But I hardly know you.
- Let's go.
- (Bigfeetz) Don't you just wanna take my picture?
- Nah, we figure if that dumb TV show
will pay $20,000 for a picture,
think what some zoo will pay for you.
- (Garfield) Oh no.
My new hairy friend's in trouble.
I need a brilliant idea.
Okay, got one.
Where would he leave his dirty socks?
- Okay, let's get out of here.
- (Bigfeetz) They won't wake up for three days.
I owe you one, cat.
- (Garfield) Follow me.
I know how you can pay me back.
(soft music)
- Oh.
Oh my head.
Odie, where's Garfield?
- I don't know.
- Oh great.
I hit my head and he wanders off
in search of lasagna no doubt.
- Let's find Garfield and head for home.
We'll never find Bigfeetz.
- (Bigfeetz) Don't be too sure.
- Bigfeetz is probably just a, just a, uh.
- (Garfield) Here we go again, folks.
- Thanks, but I can walk the rest of the way, Mister.
- (Bigfeetz) Feetz but my friends call me Tootsies.
- Right.
Would you mind if I--
- (Bigfeetz) Take my picture?
Be my guest.
(bright music)
- The sun's coming up.
I'm gonna get these processed
and take them straight to the TV station for the reward.
- (Bigfeetz) Take them to a good drugstore.
(bright music)
- Here you are Mister Skeptic.
Picture of Bigfeetz.
$50,000 please.
- Oh wait a minute.
Where's Elvis?
- Elvis?
- I thought you had a $50,000 reward
for pictures of Bigfeetz.
- Pictures of Bigfeetz with Elvis.
- Elvis?
- You must not have heard the whole show.
Pictures of just Bigfeetz I have by the thousands.
They're worthless.
- (Garfield) Come on, gang.
Looks like Jon put his feets in it again.
- Well, so much for my career as a photographer
of the unusual and I have nothing to show for it.
- (Garfield) How 'bout that big bump on your noggin?
- Excuse me fella but you got the time, baby?
- 11:35.
- Well thank you very much, sir.
- Other folks get breaks but not me.
No sir. Not Jon Arbuckle. Not.
Go, go, oh.
Oh wait, wait.
Come back.
(upbeat music)
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