Ghosts (2019) s03e05 Episode Script

1
ALL: Happy birthday!
Gosh, this is
the best birthday ever.
We haven't done anything yet.
I thought as a special treat
tonight we could watch
your favourite film.
-Wizard of Oz!
-Yeah.
Dorothy.
Now come on,
let's get on with it, shall we?
ALL:
♪Happy birthday to you
♪Happy birthday to you
♪Happy birthday dear Kitty
♪Happy birthday to you ♪♪
-Morning.
-Morning. It's Kitty's birthday.
Yeah, I heard.
She's 200 and
Come on.
-What?
-Julian said
-Sorry, he's the one
with no trousers.
-Yeah, I know which one he is.
Well, he just said
No, I know there's
more to you than that.
Are you sure you need a cake?
Because you can't eat it.
-Okay. Sorry.
What was I saying?
-Forget it.
Well, what?
I just wish I knew
what you and your mates
were saying, sometimes.
-They're not my mates.
-"Not my mates?"
Okay, but you'd have to fall out
of a window, bang your head.
And I can say it from
experience that
No, I'm not saying
we're not mates.
Just Yes, I know.
That is what I said.
It's not what I meant, but
No, we're not more than mates,
Thomas, either.
Because he obviously
Of course we're mates.
That brings our meeting
to a close.
I have a quick announcement.
We don't know
whether we'll be back
in the church hall next week
so we can check the website
on the meetings for details.
Thanks, everyone.
That was certainly
more interesting
than the knitting group.
Gary's story was so sad.
Mary, we're supposed to be
anonymous, we're not allowed
to say Gary.
-Well, it's not going
to leave this house, is it?
He's not a proper
alcoholic anyway.
He only drinks beer.
Yeah.
As long as you've got
your seat belt on,
you can have three pints.
-Vanessa, on the other hand
-Well, she's clearly drinking
because the husband's
fornicating with the neighbour.
I mean, what is the point
of a bunch of people
sitting around telling
each other their problems?
I think they're very brave.
What's brave about talking?
Talkies can be
very dangerous.
ROBIN: No way.
There no Zumba today.
-Nonsense.
-I wanna work on my core.
How long is this going to
go on for, do you think?
I mean, how long
does it take to fix
a church hall roof?
Hopefully a while,
because we're getting paid.
Some of the delinquent's
coming through these days.
There was a group yesterday.
People addicted to the act.
You don't have to be there,
you know.
Oh, believe me,
I don't want to be,
but you know, someone's got
to keep an eye on things,
or goodness knows
where this will end.
Well, there's a
life drawing class later.
You might want to
avoid that one.
Oh, I will. What time?
Did you get a Whatsapp?
No. I messaged Lucy last night.
She still hasn't replied.
I would have
replied straight way.
Yeah. I just want to go out
and put it all behind us.
Now, I wish
I could go out with you.
Sisters going out together.
I was invited to a ball once
with my sister,
but there was an incident.
Mmm.
I've noticed, you often talk
about your sister.
And it seems like maybe
Kitty, there's
a balloon upstairs.
-Balloon.
-Balloon.
Not you, Robin.
-I want to see balloon.
-There is no balloon.
Okay, what was that about?
Cannot have escaped
your attention
that Kitty's sister was not
as nice as Kitty
would like to remember.
She was a horrible wench.
Real cow. Not a real cow.
We just think it's best
not to rock the boat.
Yes. If she realized the truth,
goodness knows how
it would affect her.
I mean, do you remember how
she reacted when they
cleared out her old teddy bear.
No!
Bunty Bear!
-I mean,
she cried for a week.
Was it only a week?
Seemed longer.
-So just don't
ever talk about it?
-Mmm-hmm.
Let her lock it up?
-Yeah.
-It's actually really good
to talk about things.
I know it might seem alien
to you, but to my generation
-talking about our problems
-It's not the talking.
It's the crying.
Well
-Ooh!
Aw!
Hello, yeah, speaking,
ALISON: You'd have to fall out
the window and bang your head.
Nah.
"Your cats can see ghosts."
MAN ON VIDEO: People will
tell you you're crazy.
But if you believe
in ghosts at all,
is it really
so crazy to believe
that certain people are able
to communicate with them?
-And I believe
-ALISON: Come on,
keep the noise down.
-If you've found yourself
here on my website
-Not crazy at all.
ALISON: Yes, I know.
There was no balloon.
Oh. Well, you never know.
Maybe later.
Er, Kitty,
you do know that if you ever
wanted to share
anything with me,
you know, you can.
Like yogurt?
Erm, no, because you can't
share yogurt with me, can you?
-Oh, yes.
-Yeah, I meant
sharing your thoughts.
Like, you were starting
to tell me about your sister
and a ball.
Yes, I was.
Yeah, you often
mention your sister.
Yes, we were very close.
She was terribly pretty
and terribly nice.
A bit like you, actually.
Kitty, what an absolutely
splendid house of cards.
It's taken me hours.
You're so talented.
And so pretty.
Goodness. Thank you, Elly.
You are the kindest
sister in the world.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Oh, a gust of wind
must have blown it down.
How simply awful, dear sister.
Never mind.
KITTY: It was then we were
summoned by our strict
old governess.
Girls
Your father wants to see you
in his library.
-Quick quick.
KITTY: Father was very formal.
He liked to be in charge
and to be respected.
But he was very kind of heart.
Ah, girls.
My dear girls.
Now, since you have
both come of age,
I've decided to
get my affairs in order.
As you know,
your dear mother and I
raised you equally as our own,
and I have
continued to do the same
ever since she passed.
I just wanted you to know that,
-in the event of my death
I have given you equal
inheritance, as I'm sure
you would expect.
BOTH: Yes, Father.
Now, in happier matters,
we have been invited to a ball.
Oh!
It is to be held by
Lord Baumanbach
whose balls are the most
magnificent in the county.
I rather think it's time
that you ventured out into
society, don't you?
Oh, yes.
My goodness.
Yes!
And I'm delighted to
be sharing this moment
-equally with my sister
as equals.
If anything, I wish she could
have more inheritance than I.
No, you should have more than I.
-Girls. Girls.
Well, I suppose, I mean,
I wouldn't want to,
but perhaps I should
Since I am her true daughter.
ALISON: Kitty, Kitty.
It's fine to explore this,
you know.
-It's important to be
honest about
-What's going on?
Nothing.
-Kitty's just sharing some
memories and I'm listening.
Well, I hardly think it's fair
to single out Kitty now, is it?
Well, quite.
Well, do you have something
you'd like to share?
No.
I once stole a key ring
from the gift shop
at the Amberley Chalk Pits.
Goodness gracious.
Well, we all did stuff like that
when we were kids.
-I was 36, Alison.
-Ah.
I put it on my keys
to see what it would look like
with my other key rings
from the
Wensleydale Creamery
in Huddersfield Town.
And then I had to
take Duncan Meech
to the toilet.
After he'd done his business,
we were 12 minutes
behind schedule, so we had
to run to the bus.
And it was only when I put
my keys in the ignition,
I realized what I'd done,
but we couldn't stop
because we had to get home
by 4:00 for parents pick-up.
-Well, I would never have
had you down for a thief.
-Mmm.
Would it have mattered
to be a few minutes late?
Well, then that would have just
thrown the whole day
out of whack.
You scheduled your whole day?
Oh, yes. It's the best way
to make use of your time.
-Quite right.
-6:30,
wake, ablutions.
Seven o'clock, breakfast,
read paper.
Seven thirty,
shower with a show tune.
Something from Annie
or Guys and Dolls.
Nine thirty, a chapter
of Sharp, cocoa on bed.
Didn't you ever do
anything spontaneous?
Like unplanned?
Yeah, that's it, Sheriff.
You watch out, don't get stuck
in that ring road.
MAN ON RADIO:
Oh, I'll turn on the toll road.
Nah, it's a big turn from
-CAROL: Pat, Pat, love?
Stand by, Sheriff.
What is it, petal?
CAROL: I was just thinking
about that new Italian on
the high street.
I thought
we could try it tonight.
Friday night's
fish and chips night, Carol.
CAROL: How about
Wednesday then?
Shepherd's pie night?
Are you mad?
CAROL: Okay, I might
go to Bingo, then.
Okay, love.
This is the Big Bad Butcherman
come alive.
Go for the Big Bad Butcherman.
Oh, my God.
What did I do?
I drove her into Morris's arms.
I mean, literally,
I gave her a lift to Bingo.
You've had quite
a breakthrough there, Pat.
Well done.
Kitty, will you?
Oh, hello.
We're doing this, are we?
Fine. I'll go first.
My name is Julian Fawcett
and I've been sober now
for 27 years,
three months and 11 days.
No, that's not what we
Hold on. Isn't that just
how long you've been dead?
That's a technicality.
You can't take credit
for not drinking
when you can't drink.
I've been sober
for over 27 years.
And you can't
take that away from me.
Okay, well done, Julian.
We're very proud of you.
Yeah, well, thanks, actually.
Well, before you got here,
Kitty was actually
sharing something.
Yes, about when I was invited
to a ball.
Oh, you don't have to tell.
That's all right. I want to.
I remember
the day before the ball,
my father gave a little party.
Everyone was there.
Father Matthews enjoying
the wine as usual.
She told me in confession.
KITTY: And enjoying the company
of my aunts Iris and Betty.
I'm afraid just this morning
I saw her with a new pig.
Er, want some?
Hey, are you trying to
get me tipsy?
-There you go.
-Oh, you are saucy!
-Isn't he saucy?
-I am saucy.
KITTY: And two gentlemen
who had come from town
to do business with Father.
Will you be attending the ball?
He certainly shall.
I do hope to be on your
dance card, Lady Katherine,
if I may.
Why, of course you may.
I'm so excited
about tomorrow evening.
I can hardly contain it.
What are you doing, Kitty?
I'm going to look at my dress.
It's very late.
I know, but I just want to
see it and dream about
wearing it.
My goodness. What has happened?
My dress.
You poor thing!
Those beastly moths!
At least they've left yours.
That's lucky.
Yes.
Moths.
The moths.
There, there.
Dry your eyes, my child.
I have just the thing.
I can't believe it.
It's beautiful.
She would have been
very happy to see you wear it.
It is even better than mine.
Thank you, moths.
Well
What is it, Eleanor?
Would it not be more appropriate
that I should wear it.
She was my mother, after all.
Oh, well, that's very good
thinking of your father.
Those greedy moths.
Kitty
Do you think it was
a coincidence
that your sister
Yes, well, it's funny, isn't it,
how things work out sometimes.
Was there something
you wanted to share?
Well Erm
I'm, er
I'm
Unable to think of anything
that would merit sharing.
Perhaps, Thomas.
Here we go.
I remember one night
in my cot in the nursery,
hands clenched around
the bars of my prison.
Crying, crying out for mother.
Imagine being a baby and knowing
your mother isn't coming.
-She's gone forever.
-Oh, Thomas.
I had no idea you lost
your mother so young.
Oh, no. She came eventually,
and she fed me,
and she cuddled me
and sung me a lullaby.
But the damage was done.
The seed was sown.
She was there. But she wasn't
really there, you see.
And yes, she gave me allowance.
Ample allowance.
And she did make
introductions for me
with publishers in London,
but she never really believed
in my work.
She hung it up in frames
about the house as though
it were mere decoration.
My mother had her face
bitten off by wolf
in front of me.
So, you know how I feel?
-Still nothing?
-No.
I know that she read it
last night because
there's two blue ticks.
Mmm.
-What's that?
-Just a smoothie.
-What's in it?
-Berries.
And stuff.
Can I have some?
No, cos
It's, er
It's all gone, so
Yeah, I can make another one,
if you like.
Sure.
All right, what's next?
FANNY: So let me
get this clear.
She was your sister
and the two of you
Right, where were we?
Ugh, Fanny
want to know everything.
No, not at all.
I couldn't care less, actually.
This is your enterprise, Alison.
Thank you.
Erm, well, I was just
going to ask Kitty
JULIAN: About the dreams.
-Erm No.
-That's what shrinks do,
isn't it?
Interpret your dreams like
the messages from your
subconscious, or something.
Well, some people
do think you can learn
from dreams, yeah.
I mean, I have this dream
where I take my daughter
to the zoo,
but when we get
to the ticket booth,
the ticket person
is Samantha Fox.
She tells me,
I can come in for free.
Yeah, so she leads me in
and then boom,
I'm alone in this pen.
My daughter's gone.
Good luck working that one out.
Maybe you feel guilty
that your affair separated you
from your daughter.
Oh, right.
-I have dreams.
-Strap in.
Same one every night.
I'm working in the field
digging up the carrots
when in the distance,
I see a man.
His eyes and his mouth
are wide open and he's
pointing at me.
And then I feel something
moving in my hand
and I look down.
It is the carrot.
They have become like
new-born babes crying
and squirming their roots
around my fingers.
And I look back up.
And now, very slowly
the man comes towards me.
But he does not walk,
his feet stay together,
dragging through the soil
and still he's pointed at me.
And I try to breathe in
to scream, but I cannot,
and my mouth fills with dirt.
And now the land's on fire
and that's when I wake up.
Yeah, sorry,
Mary, I don't think
I can help with that one.
Okay, never mind.
Can we blow balloon now?
Kitty, did you want to tell us
what happened at the ball?
Oh, yes.
Actually, I've got to
Let her speak.
Well, it was just more
and more bad luck.
Look, Katherine,
oysters for breakfast.
It is a special occasion,
after all.
And they're lovely and warm.
-They are.
-Aren't you having one?
Oh, I've already
had mine downstairs.
I couldn't wait.
KITTY: They were delicious.
But I must have had
a sensitive tummy
-from all the excitement
because I was very sick.
Oh, you poor thing.
It's all right. In fact
ELEANOR: Kitty, are you
all right in there?
If anything, I actually
feel better than before.
-ELEANOR: Are you sure?
-Yes, I feel cleansed
and refreshed.
ELEANOR: Oh, I am pleased.
♪We're going to a ball
♪We're going to ♪♪
El? El?
Eleanor?
The door won't open.
Eleanor?
That this
my solemn oath be clear
for all the quiet souls to hear.
I know this power
cannot be unsaid,
I open my eyes
to the plain of the dead.
Hi.
Hi. Are they here?
-Yeah.
-Okay.
Even after Carruthers let me out
the wait for the ball
seemed to take forever.
So, to pass the time,
we decided to play
one of our games,
which are always such fun.
Eleanor let me go first.
I can't see a thing.
That's the idea, silly.
Round you go.
ELEANOR: Over here.
Over here.
ELEANOR: Oh!
Mamma.
My goodness, Kitty.
ELEANOR: Papa.
KITTY: I couldn't believe it.
I was so upset.
The bust was usually
on a high shelf.
Perhaps the maid
had brought it down to clean it.
No, she knew
it was never to be touched.
Or perhaps Father had decided
to rearrange the room.
But now that
I'm saying it out loud
Now that
I'm really talking about it
Perhaps
She wanted me to break it.
She wanted father to be angry.
She wanted to stop me
from going to the ball.
It was a mean thing to do.
So very mean.
Oh, well, at least she was nice
the rest of the time.
ALL: Oh, yeah.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Oh
It's you.
I can totally see you.
I thought it hadn't worked.
Isn't it
Isn't it weird
that I'm talking to you?
Yeah, it is a bit.
Where are the others?
They're probably on their way.
We don't start
for another five minutes.
Are you doing a group thing?
Well, I guess I'm gonna be
seeing a lot more of you.
Yeah, you are.
Yeah, I know. Yeah.
CAPTAIN: Well,
it's been very interesting
listening to you all share.
And, er
Yes, perhaps there is something
I'd like to share.
Oh, it's art class.
I lost track of the time.
Right, well,
perhaps another time then.
-Food club time.
Or, you know, maybe
we should do something
completely spontaneous.
You know, why not?
Why don't we go outside
and dance around a tree
just for the hell of it?
Huh? Huh?
No, but it's food club at 1:00.
Yeah, you're right.
It is food club, isn't it?
Art class.
Absolutely nothing
of interest for me here.
Didn't you say you had been
drinking champagne
the day you died?
-Of course. Why?
-Well, you stay how you died.
So you haven't been sober
for 27 years.
You've been tipsy for 27 years.
My God, you're right.
I suppose, thinking about it,
it was the dream death.
Booze, bit of
rumpy-pumpy and out.
There are worse ways to go, eh?
ROBIN: Hey guys, come quick.
Balloon.
How wonderful.
Surprise!
I want like these
on my birthday.
Oh, I don't think I could afford
that many balloons,
Robin, sorry.
Oh, I thought it would be Lucy.
Okay, so it looks like
they fixed the roof on the hall.
No more Zumba?
ALISON: Sorry, Robin.
And well, no more
sordid life stories or
whatever you call them.
What is it?
I'm an addict, Alison.
I'm addicted to gossip,
to other people's problems,
the worse, the better,
to distract me
from my own concerns.
But you know
all about that anyway.
Well
Isn't that what you've been
doing all day digging around
in Kitty's relationship
with her sister to take
your mind off your own one?
ALISON: Yes.
Good. You're alone.
Listen, you know, you asked
about that drink?
-Oh the smoothie.
-Except it wasn't a smoothie.
It's a real life potion.
I found this spiritualist online
and they had these
mad instructions to follow
and I can see ghosts.
-Can he?
-I saw the man
with no trousers upstairs.
And I'm going to go find
the others and see them
with my own eyes.
- Ah!
-Erm, Mike
MIKE: I'm gonna
see the caveman.
That guy needs help.
Mmm.
I had Mary's dream.
I'm glad I can't see them.
GHOSTS: I had Mary's dream!
MALE GHOST: Me too!