Gintama (2005) s01e10 Episode Script

Eat Something Sour When You're Tired!

Gin, Gin, you won't believe this! What's up, Four-eyes? That guy who was stalking my sister! He's Isao Kondo, the bureau chief of the Shinsengumi! Oh yeah, I heard.
Huh? Who'd you hear it from? From Ogushi.
Ogushi? Yup, Ogushi.
[Gather around, kiddies! It's a big, white doggy!.]
[All you nice girls, gather around, too! It's a black-hearted and dishonest guy!.]
Granny, give me some pickled seaweed! Thanks for coming! Deer poop [Odd Jobs Gin.]
What the hell is with its size?! No way, absolutely no way! What the hell are you doing hanging around the front of my place, you brats?! Find a dirty magazine or something? Ah! It's the seaweed girl! Run! Or you'll smell sour like her! Humph! Little brats can go suck their moms' teats.
[To Odd Jobs Gin.]
[Eat Something Sour When You're Tired.]
All right, let's hear from the Space Port, "Terminal.
" Miss Ketsuno! Ketsuno! Ana! Ketsuno here! Here at the Terminal, hoards of reporters are waiting for the arrival of Prince Hata.
Oh, the gate at the Terminal is opening! It seems Prince Hata's spaceship has arrived.
On his return visit to Edo, Prince Bakauh, I mean, Prince Hata will be making visits to the newly constructed Oedo Zoo, along with many other zoos and aquariums.
Oh, there he is! It's Prince Hata of the Midland Star Planet! It's been a long time, everyone! I am overjoyed.
No need for formalities No need.
Prince! Who did that? You?! Or you?! Was it you?! Ketsuno reporting from the site.
So that stupid animal-obsessed prince is back.
Huh, Gin? Hey? Are you listening? I'm back.
Welcome back.
Didja get toilet paper? Here you go.
Kagura, listen don't people usually buy them in packs of several rolls? What if someone gets the big "D"? No way will this be enough.
Quit nagging about the toilet paper! What are you, my mother-in-law? There are poor samurai in this world who use newspaper for toilet paper! There aren't any extremists like that! Who told you that anyway? Gin said so! You can't trust anything he says.
Shut up.
Don't act like you know it all when your butt is still green, you idol otaku! What?! You're younger than me! Shinpachi, what's that white thing? What else? Toilet paper.
Not that! The big white one! Can you quit talking about dirty stuff like "big thing" or "little thing"? It's because of the way you talk that Kagura is Gyaaa! What is this?! I found it outside.
Isn't it cute? Forget where it was! If you're gonna pick something up, at least know what it is! Sadaharu.
You just named it! You totally made that name up just now! [To Odd Jobs Gin.]
This was stuck in his collar.
Let's see To Odd Jobs Gin.
I'm very sorry, but please take my pet in.
Is that all? "LOL" in parenthesis.
How can I be laughing! I'm "Mad" in parenthesis! In other words, it was abandoned! We're not a charity! Get rid of it! Now! Shoo! Shoo! Nuh-uh! We abandon it in this heartless town, it'll die! Don't worry.
Sadaharu can manage alone.
What do you know about Sadaharu anyway?! You understand, don't you, Sadaha- Earth is so much fun! Perhaps it's because the environment is so nice, but there are so many different living things! I never tire of coming here.
Don't you agree, Jii? Yes, my prince.
The last time I came to Edo, I had a terrible time.
So now, I wanna check all the zoos in Edo and take back any unusual creatures.
Don't you agree, Jii? What a bother.
Did you say something? No, nothing, Prince Baka.
You just called me baka.
Who said baka?! You? Or you? It was you, huh?! Wasn't it you? This is the Ultra Giraffe, which was found on Nebula M78.
So cute! By the way, it eats people.
This is the Iscandar Elephant from the Great Mazeran Cloud.
This one's cute, too! By the way, when it stretches its trunkit eats people.
This is the Petit Penguin, which inhabits Lilliput Planet.
This one better be safe.
The penguin doesn't eat people.
However, the white polar bear below it does.
Are you trying to kill me?! Man, Hijikata, what are we doing out here looking for an animal? I'm not sure, either.
But I did hear that it's to be presented during an audience with some VIP who's making a visit here.
Well, if we don't even know who this VIP is, any animal we catch should suffice.
Well, by any animal What the hell are you doing?! Something to present to some VIP.
Cut it out, or do you wanna die?! Can you end your sentences with a bow-wow? Not likely! [Looking for someone to adopt! Cute, white puppy! Inquire at Odd Jobs Gin.
.]
What's this? Anyway, until we find someone to adopt him, I'll allow Shigeo to stay here.
It's not Shigeo! It's Sadaharu.
But once we find another owner, Tatsunori is out of here! I said it's Sadaharu! Sadaharu is so cute! Why don't you like him? Men can't believe what women call "cute.
" Shinpachi, are you like that, too? Wearing the kind of glasses an otaku who's into cutesy girls would wear.
And yet you're into sexy women, too? Who are you calling otaku?! Just try petting him! I'm sure you'll think he's cute! G-Get him off me, Kagura.
It's heavy.
So you understand how heavy my heart feels now? Th-That's not what he meant.
Being loved is a heavy burden.
But Sadaharu and I will be okay! I-I can't breathe It feels like the chocolate coronet I just ate is gonna come out of both ends.
They've been making a racket all day! Hey, quit running around in here! Kagura! You have to train him! Even if he's mischievous, I'm gonna raise him strong and healthy! Your mischievous behavior could kill people! What's wrong, Gin? Sadaharu just made a little debut on my JUMP! A little debut? You're so modest! He went on to make a major debut on Otsu's debut single! Otsu featuring Sadaharu! Sadaharu, why I oughta! S-Sorry What's up? What's the deal, you coming in here? I don't have any money to lend you.
That's not it.
I came to pay the rent.
What kind of prank is this? There must be a hidden camera somewhere.
It's not like that! I just thought I'd at least pay this month's rent.
Yes, it's a hot day today.
Hey, hold it! Come on! This is Lassie's second cousin! He should be worth a month's rent! I don't want it even if it's the cousin of the Dog of Flanders! OK, here's the plan.
While Kagura is taking a nap, we'll go look for another owner.
Plan? Are you sure? Kagura will be very upset.
It's all right.
By experiencing harsh reality, a young girl climbs the stairway to maturity.
And an idol otaku graduates from fandom.
Do you mean me?! Are you talking about me?! No way! I'll never graduate! Let's go! Hey, move it! You giant poop vendor! It should be around here.
Hijikata What're you doing? Watch out.
Wh-What?! It's him! Mmm Huh? Sadaharu? Sadaharu? He's finally settled down.
What're we gonna do? I doubt there's anyone who wants to adopt Sadaharu.
Don't worry.
I have an idea.
Wahh! Another debut! My house is your idea?! You plan to dump off Sadaharu at my place?! Well, your sister's having trouble with a stalker, right? You took care of that the other day! We help each other out when we can.
He'll be the perfect guard dog.
Listen to me, damn it! Don't bite! Oh? What are you two doing? Sheesh! Where'd Sadaharu and Gin go? So, you think you could take this dog in? We already have a useless adolescent boy.
To take in one more Isn't "useless" a bit harsh? Besides, Sis, this is a dog! Seriously, please! Sadaharu says he prefers it here.
What do you mean by that?! While my back was turned! No, you've got it all wrong.
This is for Sadaharu's sake.
You're terrible, Gin! Hey, he seems to like you quite a lot.
Sadaharu! Come here! Boy, they get on like a house on fire.
Makes you wanna smile, huh, Shinpachi? Yes.
I guess girls and big goofy dogs go together, Gin.
I wonder why it just won't take to us? It knows that we're trying to get rid of him.
It's the instinct of the wild.
Why is it so attached to her, Shinpachi? It isn't, Gin.
It's attacking her, but Kagura doesn't think anything of it, Gin.
Quit playing around! I see, so that's how it is, huh, Shinpachi.
Yep.
There! You seem to be having fun.
Yup! I love animals.
All girls love cute things.
Don't need a reason for that.
That's cute? Of course, it's cute! This is the first time an animal has gotten so attached to me! Kagura, you should realize it already.
I used to have pet long ago.
Sadaharu No.
1! Sadaharu No.
1 was super cute and I loved him so much.
I kept Sadaharu No.
1 outside, but one night, I really, really wanted to sleep with him, so I snuggled with him under the covers without telling my parents.
I had a nightmare and thrashed around all night.
It was a terrible nightmare and when I woke up Sadaharu was lying there stiff.
Should I be laughing or crying? After that, I swore I'd never get close to animals.
I'm not good at controlling my strength, and I only end up hurting them.
But maybe this Sadaharu and I will make a good pair.
He's a gift from the heavens.
I'm sure of it, uh-huh.
I forgot I'm out of pickled seaweed.
I'm gonna go and buy some.
Take care of Sadaharu for me! Hey, wait! Hey, Sadaharu! G-G-Gin! Gin! H-Help! I'm saved! He looks cute sleeping like that.
He's a demon in a dog's clothing.
In a manic world with ferocious dogs, we must watch our hearts! But after watching Kagura love it so much, it's sorta Oh, there you are.
Huh? You guys? What's up with you? Don't you even work during the day? Looking for a companion to have fun with? Like I'd invite you to join our fun! A fight's different, though! That fight you picked last time? I gave it right back to you.
Fine! Then this time, I'll give it right back to you with a fruit basket as a bonus! By the way Is that your dog? It's not really my dog.
Why you asking? Don't go off talking without me! There's a certain someone connected to the upper ranks of the government who's interested in animals like that.
We'd like you to hand that dog over to the Shinsengumi.
Forget it.
I wouldn't give it to guys like you.
Don't ever forget that I don't bow down to the Shinsengumi.
You're forgetting that I'm standing right here! Damn! What'll we do, Sogo? I think you'll just have to end your sentences with bow-wow.
As if! Gin, did you refuse for Kagura's sake? Naw I just don't like doing what I'm told.
OhThere's no animal that catches my eye.
Every one of them seems to be lacking in something.
You are right.
Isn't there anything we can do? Look out! Jii! What have you done?! Calm down, my prince! I will go and find a time machine.
You calm down, Jii.
Wh-What is this?! What's wrong, my prince? Jii! Look at this! Did you find a time machine?! No! You old geezer! This isa Dog God! What a rare species.
Do you have a rope? Should we be doing this, my prince? We're behaving like common criminals.
This is conservation! I can't allow such a precious specimen to stay in the wild! All right, let's go! Yes, sire.
I've added to my collection again! Deer poop Sadaharu! The last time I was here, I had a horrible time with that silver-haired man and that weird girl.
But this'll finally ease the pain of losing Pesu.
Right, Jii? Absolutely.
A-A zombie! Hey, stop the car, you jerk.
Y-You again! I gave it a lot of thought, but cut me some slack on this one here.
Seems she's really taken a liking to that thing.
What are you blabbering about?! Move! I can't see in front of me, dammit! Wha--?! What's the matter? A weird kid is approaching at tremendous speed! Give back Sadaharu! Who is Sadaharu?! St-Stay back! I forgot Sadaharu was on the car.
Sadaharu! I've gone anddone itall over again.
'Scuse me, miss.
What are you so sad about? Gin! Sadaharu! Sadaharu! Sadaharu! I'm so glad! I'm so, so glad! Gin, you were so against keeping him.
Hell if I know.
If you're gonna keep it, you take care of it.
And I'll be deducting the cost of his food from your salary! Thank you, Gin.
Though I've never actually gotten paid.
Let's not come to Earth anymore.
I agree.
Remember to say bow-wow at the end of your sentences, Kondo.
[Preview.]
Find a poster girl from a dango shop? And you're telling me it's from fifty years ago?! Listen, pops.
Even if we do find her, she'll be someone who used to be a poster girl.
The next episode: "Look, Overly Sticky Sweet Dumplings Are Not Real Dumplings, You Idiot!" [Once you grow out of JUMP, go for Weekly Playboy.
It has everything from large, medium, to small.
.]
[Next week's Gintama is a senior fest.
Loads of gramps and grannies.
.]
Ah Don't go thinkin' there's always some bonus feature for you at the end!
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