Gintama (2005) Episode Scripts

Season 1

1. You Guys!! Do You Even Have a Gintama? (1)
2. You Guys!! Do You Even Have a Gintama? (2)
3. Nobody with Naturally Wavy Hair Can be That Bad!
4. Watch Out! Weekly Shonen Jump Sometimes Comes Out on Saturdays!
5. Make Friends You Can Call by Their Nicknames, Even When You're an Old Fart!
6. Keep Your Promise Even If It Kills You
7. Responsible Owners Should Clean Up After Their Pets!
8. There Is Butt a Fine Line Between Persistence and Stubbornness
9. Fighting Should Be Done With Fists!
10. Eat Something Sour When You're Tired!
11. Look, Overly Sticky Sweet Dumplings Are Not Real Dumplings, You Idiot!
12. People Who Make Good First Impressions Usually Suck!
13. If You're Going to Cosplay, Go All Out!
14. Boys Have a Weird Ritual that Makes Them Think They Turn Into Men When They Touch Frogs! / You Only Gotta Wash Under Your Armpits - Just the Armpits
15. Pets Resemble Their Owners!
16. If You Stop and Think About It, Your Life's a Lot Longer as an Old Guy Than a Kid! Whoa, Scary!!
17. Sons Only Take After Their Fathers' Negative Attributes
18. Oh Yeah! Our Crib is Number One!
19. Why's the Sea So Salty? Because You City Folk Pee Whenever You Go Swimming!
20. Watch Out For Conveyor Belts!
21. If You're a Man, Try the Swordfish / If You Go to Sleep With the Fan On, You'll Get a Stomachache, So Be Careful
22. Marriage is Prolonging an Illusion for Your Whole Life
23. When You're In a Fix, Keep On Laughing, Laughing...
24. Cute Faces Are Always Hiding Something
25. A Shared Soup Pot is a Microcosm of Life
26. Don't Be Shy - Just Raise Your Hand and Say It
27. Some Things Can't Be Cut with a Sword
28. Good Things Never Come in Twos (but Bad Things Do)
29. Don't Panic – There's a Return Policy! / I Told You to Pay Attention to the News!
30. Even Teen Idols Act Like You Guys
31. You Always Remember the Things that Matter the Least
32. Life Moves on Like a Conveyor Belt
33. Mistaking Someone's Name is Rude!
34. Love Doesn't Require a Manual (1)
35. Love Doesn't Require a Manual (2) / You Can't Judge a Person by His Appearance, Either
36. People with Dark Pasts Can't Shut Up
37. People Who Say that Santa Doesn't Really Exist Actually Want to Believe in Him / Prayer Won't Make Your Worldly Desires Go Away! Control Yourself
38. Only Children Play in the Snow / During Winter, Eating Ice-cream Is Sweet
39. Ramen Shops with Long Menus Never Do Well
40. Give a Thought to Planned Pregnancy
41. You Can't Judge a Movie by Its Title
42. You Know What Happens if You Pee on a Worm
43. Make Characters So Anybody Can Tell Who They Are by Just Their Silhouettes
44. Mom's Busy, Too, So Quit Complaining About What's for Dinner
45. Walk Your Dog at an Appropriate Speed
46. Adults Only. We Wouldn't Want Anyone Immature in Here
47. Do Cherries Come from Cherry Trees?
48. The More You're Alike, the More You Fight / Why Do You Use That Useless Negativity?
49. A Life Without Gambling is Like Sushi Without Wasabi

Season 2

1. "Once Upon a Time in China-Girl Gintama" or "Pending Means Pending, It's Not Final"
2. Milk Should Be Served at Body Temperature
3. If You Want to See Someone, Make an Appo First
4. Stress Makes You Bald, but It's Stressful to Avoid Stress, So You End Up Stressed Out Anyway, So in the End There's Nothing You Can Do
5. Mothers Everywhere Are All the Same
6. Don't Make Munching Noises When You Eat
7. Keep an Eye on the Chief for the Day
8. When Looking for Something You've Lost, Remember What You Were Doing on the Day You Lost It
9. Croquette Sandwiches Are Always the Most Popular Food Sold at the Stalls
10. Be Careful Not to Leave Your Umbrella Somewhere
11. The Sun Will Rise Again
12. On a Moonless Night, Insects Are Drawn to the Light
13. Even Mummy Hunters Sometimes Turn into Mummys
14. The Preview Section in JUMP is Always Unreliable
15. Eating Nmaibo Can Make You Full in No Time!
16. Rhinoceros Beetles Teach Boys that Life is Precious
17. Dango Over Flowers
18. For the Wind Is the Life / Minami-chan is Indeed the Ideal Girlfriend
19. Like a Haunted House, Life is Filled with Horrors
20. Please Help by Separating Your Trash
21. Too Many Cuties Can Make You Sick
22. Some Data Cannot Be Erased
23. A Dog's Paws Smell Fragrant / Drive With a "Might" Attitude
24. Think for a Minute Now, Do Matsutake Mushrooms Really Taste All that Good?
25. The Manga Writer Becomes a Pro, After Doing a Stock of Manuscript
26. Don't Complain About Your Job at Home, Do It Somewhere Else
27. In Those Situations, Keep Quiet and Cook Red Rice With Beans
28. Yesterday's Enemy, After All Is Said and Done, Is Still the Enemy
29. People Who Are Picky About Food Are Picky About People, Too
30. Four Heads are Better than One
31. When Someone Who Wears Glasses Takes Them Off, It Looks Like Something's Missing
32. A Woman's Best Make-up Is Her Smile
33. You Say Kawaii so Often, You Must Really Think You're Cute Stuff
34. Rank Has Nothing to Do With Luck
35. Hard-boiled Egg on a Man's Heart
36. Hard-Boiled Eggs Don't Crack
37. It's Often Difficult to Sleep When You're Engrossed With Counting Sheep
38. Perform a German Suplex on a Woman Who Asks If She or the Job Is More Important
39. The Most Exciting Part of a Group Date is Before it Starts
40. What Happens Twice, Happens Thrice
41. The More Delicious the Food, the Nastier It Is When It Goes Bad
42. If You Want To Lose Weight, Then Stop Eating and Start Moving
43. Be a Person Who Can See People's Strong Points and Not Their Weak Points
44. Even a Hero Has Issues
45. When Riding A Train, Make Sure You Grab the Straps With Both Hands
46. Men, Be a Madao
47. If You're a Man, Don't Give Up
48. Exaggerate the Tales of Your Exploits by a Third, So Everyone Has a Good Time / Men Have a Weakness for Girls Who Sell Flowers and Work in Pastry Shops
49. Play Video Games for Only an Hour a Day
50. Life and Video Games are Full of Bugs

Season 3

1. The More Something Is Disliked, the More Lovely It Is
2. Rules Are Made to be Broken
3. Otaku Are Talkative
4. There's a Thin Line Between Strengths and Weaknesses
5. Important Things Are Hard To See
6. It's All About the Beat and Timing
7. Love Is Often Played Out In Sudden Death
8. Kids Don't Understand How Their Parents Feel
9. Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid
10. Life is a Test
11. People Are All Escapees of Their Own Inner Prisons
12. Definitely Do Not Let Your Girlfriend See the Things You Use for Cross-Dressing / There's Almost a 100% Chance You'll Forget Your Umbrella and Hate Yourself For It
13. A Birthday in Your Twenties Has No Deep Meaning / Lucky Is a Man Who Gets Up and Goes to Work
14. Cleaning the Toilet Cleanses the Soul
15. They Say Soy Sauce On Pudding Tastes Like Sea Urchin, But Soy Sauce On Pudding Only Tastes Like Pudding and Soy Sauce
16. Summer Vacation is the Most Fun Right Before It Begins
17. The Older, The Wiser
18. Beauty is Like a Summer Fruit
19. Even if Your Back is Bent, Go Straight Forward
20. Within Each Box of Cigarettes, Are One or Two Cigarettes That Smell Like Horse Dung
21. Japanese Restaurants Abroad Taste Pretty Much Like School Cafeteria Lunches / Once You've Chosen a Dish, You Can't Give it Back
22. Novices Only Need a Flathead and a Phillips
23. Imagination Is Nurtured In the 8th Grade
24. Always Keep a Screwdriver In Your Heart
25. When Nagging Goes Too Far It Becomes Intimidating
26. Entering the Final Chapter!
27. Some Things Can Only Be Conveyed Through the Written Word
28. Sometimes You Must Meet to Understand
29. Sometimes You Can't Tell Just By Meeting Someone
30. Beware of Food You Pick Up Off the Ground
31. Cat Lovers and Dog Lovers Are Mutually Exclusive
32. Fights Often Ensue During Trips
33. Briefs Will Unavoidably Get Skidmarks
34. Gin and His Excellency's Good For Nothing
35. Be Very Careful When Using Ghost Stories
36. Before Thinking About the Earth, Think About the More Endangered Gintaman's Future!
37. It's Your House, You Build It
38. 99% of Men Are Not Confident in Confessing Their Love
39. Why Not Talk About the Old Days for a Change?
40. Don't Put Your Wallet In Your Back Pocket
41. Beware of Those Who Use an Umbrella on a Sunny Day!
42. Butting Into a Fight Is Dangerous
43. Life Is About Making Consecutive Decisions
44. Those Who Stand On Four Legs Are Beasts. Those Who Stand on Two Legs, Guts, and Glory, Are Men
45. Don't Trust Bedtime Stories
46. The Color for Each Person's Bond Comes in Various Colors
47. The Taste of Drinking Under Broad Daylight Is Something Special
48. All Adults are Instructors for All Children
49. Zip Up Your Fly Nice and Slowly
50. When Breaking a Chuubert in Half, the End with the Knob Should Be Better. It's Also Tasty to Drink from There
51. If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them

Season 4

1. A Conversation With a Barber During a Haircut is The Most Pointless Thing in The World
2. The Heavens Created Chonmage Above Man Instead of Another Man
3. Sleep Helps a Child Grow
4. That Person Looks Different from Usual During a Birthday Party
5. The Other Side of the Other Side of the Other Side Would Be the Other Side
6. It Takes a Bit of Courage to Enter a Street Vendor's Stand
7. Any Place Can Become a Battlefield When Men Gather
8. If a Friend Gets Injured, Take Him to the Hospital, Stat!
9. If One Orange in the Box is Rotten, the Rest of Them Will Become Rotten Before You Realize It!
10. From a Foreigner's Perspective, You're the Foreigner. From an Alien's Perspective, You're the Alien
11. Laputa's Still Good After Seeing It So Many Times
12. Love Is Unconditional
13. The Black Ships Even Make A Scene When They Sink
14. That Matsutake Soup Stuff Tastes Better than the Real Deal / If a Person Is Dead, They Can't Come Back to Life
15. If It Works Once, It'll Work Over And Over Again
16. Two Is Better Than One. Two People Are Better Than One
17. Smooth Polygons Smooth Men's Hearts Too
18. A Human Body Is Like a Little Universe
19. The Chosen Idiots
20. And into the Legend...
21. If You Keep Copying, They Will Retaliate / A Loss Opens Your Eyes to the Love You Have
22. Using the Carrot and the Stick Method Depends on the Situation
23. It's What's On The Inside That Counts / It's What's On The Inside That Counts, But Only To A Certain Extent
24. Are There Still People Who Go to the Ocean and Yell "Bakayaro!"? / When a Person Is Trapped, Their Inner Door Opens
25. No Matter How Old You Get, You Still Hate the Dentist
26. Countdown Begins
27. It's Bad Luck to See a Spider at Night
28. Once You're Entangled in a Spiderweb, It's Hard to Get It Off
29. It's the Irresponsible One Who's Scary When Pissed
30. The More Precious the Burden, The Heavier and More Difficult it is to Shoulder
31. Watch Out For A Set of Women and A Drink
32. Screw Popularity Votes
33. Popularity Polls Can Burn in Hell
34. Popularity Polls Can...
35. Hometowns and Boobs Are Best Thought of from Afar / The Whole Peeing on a Bee Sting Is a Myth. You'll Get Germs, So Don't Do It!!
36. Beware of Foreshadows
37. It's Goodbye Once a Flag Is Set
38. An Observation Journal Should Be Seen Through To The Very End
39. We Know It's Best to Finish Yearly Tasks Before the End of the Year, But then You Put It Off Till Next Year for a Fresh Start. That's How the End of the Year Goes / Radio Exercises are Socials for Boys and Girls
40. When Looking for Something, Try Using its Perspective
41. Freedom Means to Live True to Yourself, not Without Law!
42. Kabukicho Stray Cat Blues
43. Cooking Is About Guts
44. Whenever I Hear Leviathan, I Think of Sazae-san. Stupid Me!!
45. Not Losing to the Rain
46. Not Losing to the Wind
47. Not Losing to the Storm
48. Never Losing That Smile
49. That's How I Wish to Be, Beautiful and Strong
50. Santa Claus Red Is Blood Red
51. Everybody's a Santa!