Gintama (2005) s03e49 Episode Script

Zip Up Your Fly Nice and Slowly

This is You're awake? I think we screwed up.
Ow.
I can't remember anything.
Feels like I was hit in the head.
What happened? Where are we? Why are we chained up in here? You don't remember, Hijikata-san? Someone attacked us from behind during our night patrol Bastard So we've been captured.
Yes.
Since the moon is out again, we've probably been out for a whole day.
I don't know where we are.
Probably a room in some ruin.
We're definitely somewhere remote of human life.
I yelled at the top of my lungs and got no response.
In fact, I can't even sense the presence of other people.
It appears that the people who captured us aren't around either.
Damn it! We've really lost our edge.
Who the hell did this?! It appears you understand your current situation Shinsengumi Vice-Chief Toshiro Hijikata-kun And 1st Division Captain Sogo Okita-kun.
Who the hell are you? Pleased to meet you.
My name is Jigzaw.
["Zip Up Your Fly Nice and Slowly.
".]
Hijikata-kun and Okita-kun, welcome to my game of death.
Jigzaw? You're the one who's behind this crap? Another Anti-foreigner Faction? You must be one hell of a coward to hide behind a mask on that monitor.
Your barking befits a government dog, Hijikata-kun.
Your current look becomes you.
But you shouldn't be snarling at me right now.
Shouldn't you be wagging your tail and begging for your life? What was that?! Get your ass down here! A mere joke.
No need to throw a hissy fit.
I merely wanted to imitate those patriots.
Too bad, Hijikata-kun.
I am not one of those barbaric Anti-foreigner Faction members.
I hold no grudge against the Shinsengumi, and I have no reason to oppose you.
I just happen to be a fan.
I always see the exploits of the Shinsengumi on TV and in the newspaper.
You and your comrades have endured all sorts of hardship because of your trust in one another.
An iron bond that cannot be broken.
Yes, that bond is your strongest weapon.
That is what has drawn my intense attraction.
A true fan would want to see it in person.
Sorry about the short notice, but I have an announcement to make.
In three days, in other words, in 72 hours at 7 PM, the Shinsengumi station where your comrades are will be blown to smithereens by a time bomb I have placed.
The bomb has been placed in the communications room.
You are the only ones who know.
Which would mean that you're the only ones who can stop it.
Wh-What are you trying to This is a game.
I want to play a game to test how strong your bond is.
You are the only ones who can save your comrades.
But first, you need to break those chains and escape from this room.
Don't worry.
This is a game.
A game with no goal is no fun.
I've prepared a goal.
There's a passageway under this monitor.
I've placed the key at the end of the passage.
Of course, I'm talking about the key to undo your chains.
This is as far as the chain goes.
We can't reach back there.
Stop messing with us! How are we supposed to get back there?! The two of you are bound by one chain that's wound around a pipe.
If one of you pulls on the chain, it becomes shorter for the other side.
If one of you retreats against the wall and the other one pulls the chain as far as possible, you may be able to reach it.
Stop giving me crap! I'm on the wall! On the wall! Sogo! You bastard! What are you doing?! Hijikata-san, could you press against the wall more? I'm almost there.
Don't be stupid! Are you trying to crush me to death?! You're not going to reach it! He's tricking you! That guy just wants to have fun toying with us! The bomb at the station could just be a lie! Calm down for a second! Hijikata-kun, you're free to believe me or not, but that key is the only way out of here for you two.
I apologize.
I need to correct myself.
That key is the only way out of here for one of you.
One of us? What do you mean? Those shackles on you contain a bomb set to go off under a certain condition.
The condition for explosion is the unlocking of the other person's shackles.
Once one bomb has been disarmed, a signal will be sent to the other bomb to detonate.
In other words, if you don't obtain the key first, unlock your shackles, and disarm the bomb, whoever's left will die.
Hijikata-san, didn't you say that we shouldn't let him toy with us? There's nothing wrong with playing along once in a while! It wasn't easy making it big in the city after moving from the country! It appears that you've woken up, Hijitaka-kun.
In order to save your precious comrades, you must first kill one of your precious comrades here.
Y-You bastard! Why don't you show me how your bond will guide you through this trial? Hiro-kun! Dinner's ready! Hey! Why'd he cut off there?! His mom? That was his mom was calling him, right? She called him Hiro-kun, right? That didn't sound anything like Jigzaw, right?! Who the hell is he? What does he want? How dare he make fools of us! Why did this happen Why are we in this situation Why Why did it have to happen when I was with this guy I'm dead.
Without a doubt, I'm dead.
He's always wanted to get rid of me.
He's pulled all kinds of crap to try to take the position of Vice-Chief from me.
But the watchful eyes of the other officers, Kondo-san acting as a brake, and the fact that I'm his superior combined to stop him when things got dangerous.
But now, he's been given a legitimate reason.
He killed me to save everyone.
He killed me to stop the bomb.
This is dangerous.
Very dangerous.
The station's also in danger, but my life is in even more danger! Hijikata-san.
Hijikata-san.
Wh-What is it? You okay over there? Seemed a little spaced out.
Don't tell me that imitation psycho's got you spooked.
Hell no! Don't look down on me! Damn bastard looking down on me! I'll kill you bastard! Hijikata-san.
Could we stop standing like this? That's right.
It's okay now.
Okay, yeah? Then we'll go at the same time.
Relax at the same time.
On the count of three.
Hijikata-san.
Do you think I'm going to go for the key the second you relax? No, no.
No way.
Not the least bit, but this prevents any potential trouble.
And I don't want you suspecting me.
Give me a break.
You don't have to worry this time.
The Shinsengumi's in serious trouble.
This isn't the time for us to be fighting amongst ourselves.
I know that, fool.
I can differentiate between serious parts and gag parts.
Don't get the wrong idea.
Man, I'm depending on you, you know.
You just jumped.
I just have to take a piss.
I was out cold since yesterday so it's been a day since I've gone.
Don't you need to piss, too? Now that you mention it, yeah.
You should probably take care of it while I am.
Once I'm finished, you'll be too jumpy to do your business.
I'm said I'm not jumpy! Don't look down on me.
Cut it out already.
I'm not jumpy, but I need to piss, so I have no choice.
I'm not doing this because I'm jumpy.
Hurry it up.
Finish my business while he's still going.
Going to the bathroom, sleeping, and eating are when a person is most vulnerable.
If I don't take care of this now, I won't be getting another chance Wait! Could this be a trap? He's only pretending to take a piss, and once I'm urinating, he plans to go for the key.
Wait.
Calm down.
Drag this out as long as I can.
Don't release until I can be sure he's urinating.
Release when he does.
If I'm too late, he'll have a chance if I take longer.
No piss.
He isn't pissing! So this is a trap.
I was about to be fooled.
Sogo! Too weak.
I'm not going to fall for your scheme I-It It's stuck! [Note: Parody of the movie "There's Something About Mary".]
Damn it! I zipped up too fast because I was worried about giving him a chance! G-Get a grip.
Don't let me know anything's wrong.
That'll give him a chance.
It's okay.
He hasn't noticed.
H-He tricked me! That bastard! First, he pretended that he wasn't going to piss and then he started urinating once I zipped up?! That was a feint?! It's too late for me to go now.
He'll definitely finish first.
And I can't piss a single drop in this intense pain! Was this all part of his plan? No, it couldn't be.
That would be impossible for me to deal with.
I have to give up on taking a piss.
But I can't let him know.
Need to pull myself together.
Show no weakness! Don't give him a chance! Man, that was a long piss.
Must have had a bunch built up.
Might have been a whole liter.
Oh, yeah.
Not sure if I had that much About three drops Of what? Good day.
It's a beautiful morning.
How do you feel after spending half a day here? I can see signs of struggling, but it's futile.
That chain is made from a special alloy.
And this room doesn't contain anything that will help you escape.
Besides for the key.
It would be much more productive to discuss which one of you will die.
You should hurry.
There are less than sixty hours to the explosion.
If you take too long, you won't be the only victims.
All of the members of the Shinsengumi will lose their lives.
What are you after? What's so fun about this? I am Jigzaw.
An empty existence born from nothingness.
I have nothing.
Neither dead nor alive.
Neither blood nor flesh nor bone can be found under this mask.
Which is why I wish to know.
What lies within humans.
What lies in the depths of the human heart.
What I may find under that skin.
Comrades, colleagues, bonds You can sound hopeful You can hide behind a mask of ideals But humans will abandon it all once they're cornered.
Revealing the ugly face behind the mask.
My empty heart is finally filled when I see the ugly entrails spread along the floor.
That is my sole amusement.
You are fortunate people who have been invited to my game.
Entertain me with your lives.
Hiro-kun! What time do you think it is?! Get up already.
You'll be late for school His nothingness was just on camera! It was just an old lady, right? That was just his mom, right? Hijikata-san.
We don't have time to worry about that fool.
Let's keep working.
If we can't break the chain, let's try doing something about the pole.
Yeah.
Bastard When is he going to show his true colors? He hasn't let a thing slip.
I expected him to go straight for the key, end my life, and escape from this place, but he's paid no heed to my caution and been like that all night.
I thought he may even attack me with that stone, but he hasn't done it.
Does he really intend for both of us to escape this place? No, he would never do such a thing.
Besides, he should know how futile that is.
We need that key to escape from this place.
But why won't he move? What is he thinking? Bastard When is he going to show his true colors? He hasn't let a thing slip.
I've given him so many opportunities.
He had many chances to go for the key.
But why won't he act? What is he thinking? Act, Sogo.
I'm ready for you.
But not to die after being betrayed.
Act, Hijikata.
I'm prepared.
But not to die after being betrayed.
I'm set to kill you once you betray me.
It'd be simple to get the key before him.
Then I could get rid of that obstacle, Hijikata, and save the Shinsengumi.
But that's what the imitation psycho wants.
He wants to watch us lose our trust in each other, betray each other, and reveal our ugly selves.
I don't want to die at Sogo's hands, but I don't want to act as Jigzaw wants.
I'll pretend to do the right thing till the end.
I need him to play the traitor.
I just have to wait until he makes his move.
Once he moves, I'll have a legitimate reason to kill him as a traitor in order to save the station.
You aren't the only one with a reason to eliminate an obstacle.
If that's what you intend to do, I won't hold back.
Act.
Make your move.
Betray me, Hijikata.
The second you draw your sword will be your last second! He isn't making a move.
He must be hesitating because I'm being too vigilant.
I need to actively attempt to create a chance.
A chance for him to take advantage of me.
I need to prepare plenty of bait.
Sogo, why don't you take a break? You've been at it since yesterday.
Your body won't hold up at this rate.
You'll be a burden if you can't move your legs when we escape.
Get some sleep and let me take over.
It'll be noisy, so go over by the passageway.
No, Hijikata-san, you look more tired than me.
Go to sleep.
The area by the key looks cool and refreshing.
No, you.
No, Hijikata-san, you should sleep.
What's with this guy? He won't make a move.
I understand.
Then I'll accept your offer and sleep.
Please don't run away by yourself while I'm asleep.
I'm exhausted so I'll be sound asleep and hard to wake up.
No, wait.
I'll sleep instead.
On second thought, I'm terribly tired.
It'll be really hard to wake up once I've fallen asleep.
I doubt anything could wake me up.
Here it comes.
No, I'll go to sleep.
I said that I'm sleeping.
I can barely keep my eyes open.
Why won't he make a move? Why doesn't he take this chance? In fact, he's After coming up with this plan, don't tell me that he's waiting for me to betray him? Okay, that's good.
We'll both sleep.
Kondo-san and the others may come to save us while we're sleeping.
No, he couldn't be.
I'm overthinking this.
No, he doesn't have the time.
His own life and the lives of the Shinsengumi are on the line.
Good night then.
Good night.
He'll definitely betray me.
He'll hop out and go for the key before five minutes have passed.
Hey, morning.
Good morning.
H-Half a day's gone by! And I didn't get a wink of sleep! All that standing around expecting him to betray me or jump out any second wasted so much time.
I managed to get some rest.
How could I I wasted precious time and energy Yeah, I feel so much better.
No doubt about it.
This bastard doesn't intend to betray me.
Damn it, Sogo.
What's going to happen if you don't betray me? If we don't escape from this place, the Shinsengumi will be wiped out! I won't let you force me to play the dirty role, Hijikata.
Hurry up and betray me.
Do you expect me to betray you, Sogo? Don't be ridiculous.
I absolutely won't betray you.
I'll stick with you to the very end! It's useless, Hijikata.
It doesn't matter how dirty you are, I still won't betray you.
No matter what happens, you're my buddy! Well? Have you decided which one will die? Sorry, but neither one of us is going to die.
Oh, so you're going to abandon your comrades at the station for the sake of living a little longer in this place.
Nobody's going to die.
Both of us will escape from this place.
Th-That's right! The two of us will stop the bombing of the Shinsengumi station together! And we'll catch you together, without a single member missing! I'm impressed that you can still cling to those ideals.
Do you truly believe you can escape without that key? We'll find a way if we work together.
That's right.
Don't look down on us.
We will never betray each other! I see.
Which means you don't need this key.
Wh-What?! Th-That's [To Be Continued.]
The next episode: "When breaking a Chuubert in half, the end with the knob should blah blah blah.
" [Who is the mysterious assassin sent out by Jigzaw exactly? And he left behind an item to help them escape?!.]
[Time is running out before the bomb explodes and kills everyone.
Next time, Shinsengumi Death Game Part 2!!.]
[See you next time.
.]

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