Gintama (2005) s04e22 Episode Script

Using the Carrot and the Stick Method Depends on the Situation

Prisoner 3-2034.
Kohei Tanaka.
A vicious serial killer who murdered Also known as Kohei the Manslayer, a leader in the Akatsuki faction of the radical Anti-Foreigner Faction.
Surrounded by over forty Bakufu officials, with a dozen cuts on his body, he didn't bat an eye as he killed seven officials.
After being captured, he has yet to respond to torture, and we haven't been able to get him to open his mouth.
No, that would be the wrong way to put it.
His mouth is definitely open.
In fact, it's been open the whole time.
He never stops smiling, regardless of the torture he's going through.
He's always smiling like he's enjoying it all.
["It All Depends On How You Use The 'Carrot and Stick' Method".]
The suits have given us a real pain to deal with.
There have been reports of a large-scale terrorist attack in the works by the Akatsuki faction.
He must know the details.
And we're supposed to force it out of him? Yeah, pretty much.
Can you do it? I doubt we'll be able to make him talk through torture.
Look at that masochistic face.
Does he look like someone in a desperate situation after being captured by the enemy? He isn't thinking about how to get out of this situation.
He's enjoying the situation.
He must have been trained to take torture.
He doesn't reject pain.
He's probably learned to seek and relish it.
We could cut off an arm or leg, and he would keep on smiling like that.
So it's impossible to pressure him through pain.
Still, what do we do, Toshi? There's more to an interrogation than going on the attack.
We'll use the "carrot and stick" technique to make him talk.
Lose the mindset of forcing information from him.
We're going to get close to him and snatch it.
So you want to win him over How exactly are we supposed to get a serial killer to warm up? If someone like him had been in my class, I wouldn't have wanted to be friends with him.
I would have graduated without saying a word to him.
It's fine.
When you're about to graduate, the people you couldn't stand all look like nice people.
Uh, how is it fine? What are we graduating from? Hijikata-san, this is your chance to make a friend.
Do you intend to end three years of school without ever lifting your head off your desk? Don't talk about me like I'm some sorry, lonely guy! You'll never make any friends if you aren't willing to approach anyone.
Physical exams are a great time to try, with everybody hyped up.
"Oh? You wear briefs?" You know, something along those lines.
Who are you accusing of wearing briefs?! Go for it! Be brave, Toshi! Open his heart! Open his briefs, Toshi! Hey! Why are you trying to push the dirty work on me?! Yamazaki, you go.
You wear briefs, right? Get going.
No, I wear boxers! Shut up.
You might as well be wearing briefs.
You ooze lameness No, wait We don't even know if he wears briefs Stop wasting time and get going! Open! Open his briefs, Zaki! Ow-ow-ow S-Scary! This guy's really creepy up close! Like he's going to jump me at any time! Zaki, carrot and stick.
Mercilessly pressure him, while offering gentle words of comfort.
Use the tsundere principle to catch his heart! [Note: A character archetype, where a rough person suddenly becomes sweet, under certain circumstance.
.]
Calm down.
His arms and legs are chained together so he can't move.
And everybody's watching me through the two-way mirror behind me.
I'll start with a threat.
He's looking down on the police.
I won't be able to accomplish anything if I can't get that smug smile off his face! Fuck it, patchwork baldy! How long you gonna keep playin' it cool? Don't mess with the police, mothafucka! We don't have all day here! The anime's on its fourth year, with our stock of original material running out! We get manga manuscripts faxed over every week! We're on the ropes! Everybody's stressed out to the limit! We don't got time to waste on a guest character like you! So cut to the chase and spill your guts! What's he talking about? I wanna play DQ too! [Note: Refers to the recently released "Dragon Quest IX".
.]
I haven't beaten it yet! But I'm sucking it up and working my ass off! I have to deal with people like you instead of doing what I want to do! Hey, isn't he just bitching now? Damn it! Why can't I get a job like the one Kochikame's Akimoto has?! [Note: Osamu Akimoto is the manga artist of "Kochikame (Kochira Katsushika-ku Kameari Koen Mae Hashutsujo)," a very popular police manga/anime.
.]
What is he doing? He's not even looking at the suspect.
He's just channeling the author of this manga now.
[Note: Binetsu Tairiku is a parody of the Japanese TV show "Jyonetsu Tairiku.
".]
I watched Binetsu Tairiku! I was all pumped up to work after watching it, so I sat down at my desk, but it was no good! I can't be like you! I'm worthless! Yeah, we don't care.
Cut it out.
This isn't a place for Sorachi to repent.
[Note: Hideaki Sorachi= original manga author for Gintama.
.]
I'm just I'm just This is the theme from Binetsu Tairiku The Taro song You You are certainly a failure of a human.
What? Like you're one to talk.
I'm not referring to your tardy work habits.
I'm talking about how you gaze at the top of the mountain in servitude.
The path to the top will only grow longer if you belittle yourself.
A mountain peak does not exist to show how small you are.
It's there to provide you with a goal.
If you have to wander down a side path, you should take your time to slowly climb up.
The mountain you call Akimoto-san was the product of thirty years.
[Note: Tanaka is using a mountain metaphor to describe the Kochikame manga artist.
"Kochikame" has been in Weekly Shonen Jump since 1976.
.]
It won't be an easy climb for you.
You must be prepared to spend thirty years.
Step by step, as steady as a turtle [Note: Part of the manga title "Kochikame" is "kame", which is turtle.
.]
It's possible that you'll never reach the top.
You may burn out halfway.
However, you'll still have a better view than you do now.
Thank you very much.
If you'll excuse me.
What did you go in there for?! Why did you fall for his carrot?! Why did you let him use the stick on you?! Why were you the one who spilled his guts?! You're supposed to get the suspect to spill his guts! Still, I was able to get close to him.
He burned me a DVD of Binetsu Tairiku.
He's the one who won you over! Hey, Yamazaki.
Lend me that.
Now, I'll always be able to see the rare scene, where the interviewers ask kind Mr.
Akimoto what he's most angry about right now, [Note: Refers to the documentary Jyonetsu Tairiku (Passionate Continent - Documentary).
Osamu Akimoto was featured in February 2009.
.]
and he gives his long answer in the interview.
How could you enjoy that?! It must have been a really long interview to make Mr.
Akimoto say that.
Rewatch the part where he's interviewing the interviewers! Yamazaki, you let him pull a fast one on you.
I can't believe you let yourself be lectured by that murderer.
Pathetic He'll be a tough nut to crack.
Okay.
I'll go next.
That's enough threatening.
I'll go with carrot.
Just like the rogue detective.
[Note: Parody of the police TV drama "Hagure Keiji Jyunjyo-ha (Rogue Detective Naïve Type).
.]
Detective Gorilla: Empathy Type.
I'll use empathy to sway him over.
It says Detective Gorilla.
You're a gorilla.
You've strayed from the human race.
Chief, take care of my daughters if anything happens to me.
Where's the chief or your daughters? Detective Kane.
[Note: Parody of Kane Kosugi, the son of martial art star Sho Kosugi.
He appeared in many physical challenge shows.
.]
You should learn to act before you learn action.
Yeah, whatever happened to Detective Kane? You're probably sick of the prison slop.
I've brought you something special today.
Eat as much as you want.
It's Gorilla's special katsudon.
[Note: Katsudon (Fried pork cutlet and egg on rice) is often used in Japanese police TV dramas as a prop to convince hungry suspects.
.]
The katsudon might be considered empathetic, but the way he's feeding it to him is anything but.
Eat up.
The exact opposite, in fact.
All right now Fact is, I have a son your age.
Hey, Detective Gorilla! How old are you supposed to be?! That makes your son an old man! You remind me of my son.
I wonder where he is now He said something about studying action in America How did Detective Kane become your son?! There was a period when he went down the wrong path He'd be immersed in dangerous bodybuilding shows every night [Note: Kinniku Banzuke (Muscle ranking) and SASUKE are names of physical challenge shows in Japan.
.]
like Muscle Ranking and SASUKE Yeah, that sure is dangerous, but Murofushi, Shoei [Note: Koji Murofushi is a Japanese gold medalist hammer thrower who appeared in the 2004 Olympics.
Shoei is a Japanese actor who competed on Sasuke in early 2000s.
.]
Those were the nameless muscle freaks he joined with, as they snorted muscles, and raced around in stolen muscles.
[Note: Kondo is using "muscle" in lieu of "drug" and "motorcycle".
.]
It was awful What the hell are stolen muscles?! How would that work?! Eventually, my wife collapsed because of her muscles.
What?! You're not even making any sense now! Enough! Enough about Detective Kane! She must have been worried about our son's muscles Stop talking about muscles! But our son never came to the hospital, despite his mother's condition.
He had been locked up in the slammer! Hey! Why are you giving Kane a criminal record?! Illegal possession of muscles.
He'd been secretly growing Iketani in his closet.
[Note: Kondo is using Muscle to refer to drugs here.
Yukio Iketani is a gymnast and Olympic medalist.
.]
How would that even work?! He might have avoided arrest if it had been the younger Iketani, but the older Iketani assures you of a sentencing.
[Note: The Iketani brothers.
Yukio Iketani and his younger brother, Naoki Iketani are both gymnasts.
.]
What's the difference? I was enraged, despondent I considered cutting ties with him.
How could I call him my son when he hadn't come to see his mother on her deathbed because of his muscle addiction! But as I sat there in despair and regret, my wife told me.
Don't run away.
If it's the duty of a parent to praise a child and rejoice when he does something right, it's also the duty of a parent to curse and mourn when he does something wrong! Once my son was released, I beat him to a pulp Till he almost died However, when he repented his old ways and stood up, I embraced him as tight as I could Till he almost died It's the job of a parent to accept their child, no matter what they become.
However, no parent would want to hate their child.
If it's the parent's responsibility to love and hate their child, what is the child's responsibility? I'll make this simple.
Don't make your parents suffer.
Please don't make them go through what my wife did.
You have committed many sins.
It's too late for you to erase them.
Your parents will have to bear that burden for the rest of their lives.
But there are still sins that you can make up for.
It's still possible for you to lessen the burden on your parents! I'll spill I'll spill everything You D-Don't tell me he actually convinced that murderer?! Did you see that, Toshi?! Sogo?! It's all about heart! My heartfelt carrot was able to soften this hardened criminal! Touch this killer deep down He spilled something else! What the hell is this?! [Note: Spoof of Police drama TV series "Taiyo ni hoero! (Howl to the sun!)" from the 70-80's.
G-pan(Jeans pants) detective played by Yusaku Matsuda died in the series using this line.
.]
Why did this turn into a Detective G-Pan death scene?! Weren't you a rogue detective?! Why are they playing the death music from Howl to the Sun for a scene where he got barfed on?! Ah, I'm sorry.
I believe this katsudon is spoiled? H-Hold on It hasn't spoiled yet.
Please wait Don't throw this away It's only three days old! I was saving it to eat later! No, the katsudon's definitely spoiled.
So is your head, for that matter.
Forgive me.
After you went through the trouble to prepare that for me, well I'll take responsibility by eating all of it, so please leave it here.
What the hell is this?! Wait Please wait! Don't take this from me! Don't overdo it! I don't want to become a killer! Hey, could you drop the crappy imitation? Please set your mind at ease.
You've done nothing wrong.
I have faith in you.
If it's the parent's duty to bear the child's sins, the "friend" should take the duty of having faith and fighting by your side.
Gorilla-san! Weren't you going for G-Pan?! What happened to the rogue detective?! Gori-san! Hang in there! Hey! He got me I was soundly defeated After I suspected him and fed him this pig feed He called me friend He still believed in me Yeah, why a pork cutlet? Shouldn't that be a cigarette?! Detective Mayora [Note: Spoof of Police drama TV series "Taiyo Ni Hoero! (Howl to the sun!)".
Each detective was given a nickname for the way they dress and their personality.
.]
Detective Sadist The rest is up to you Gori-san! What's going on? Our attempt to convince that murderer is backfiring Hijikata-san He seems to be much better than us at using carrot and stick.
[?-kun.]
Your concept of carrot and stick [?-chan, you're too close!.]
is basically where someone who's always beating you from behind [It's embarrassing when people are watching.]
[What~ That's not true~.]
[On the other hand.]
[Geez, I can't believe you, stupid ?-kun.]
says something kind or righteous, [Sorry, XX-chan.]
you appreciate it more than if it came from someone normal.
[I love you, ?-kun.]
What you might call the gap principle.
What's with the really dumb visual aids? [is more of a turn-on.]
However What? We're not done with these weird visuals? He's already known to be a vicious killer, so you could say that we've already experienced his stick.
By the time we try to give him the stick, he's already finished.
[Mr.
Akimoto is wonderful!!!.]
He just has to spew some nice-sounding crap, [Oh My friend.]
to accomplish the carrot and stick effect.
We will always be behind in the score, which is why we aren't getting any results.
If we want to win, we have to achieve carrot and stick before he does.
Can we do that? It's impossible to do it alone.
But I see! Don't make yourself too comfortable! Your torture's about to start! A top-class sadist who's aiming for his superior's life! And Are you okay?! Are you hurt?! The follow-up master who cleans up after superiors and subordinates alike! If the two of us work together, we can form the best carrot and stick! Now It's over.
Uh, sorry What are you doing? Wh-What?! Carrot and stick isn't working! Impossible! That should have been a clean hit! Are you okay? Why don't you have a seat so we can talk? I was feeling lonely because everybody had gone.
A murderer feeling lonely?! This guy has brought out a real carrot bomb! We can't hold him off! Hijikata-san! We've had this completely wrong from the beginning! Think back! This guy is a masochist! Which means a normal carrot and stick won't work on him! I-I see! A masochist won't feel any pain from the stick! So his carrot would be the stick! We had the order wrong! Using the stick and then carrot in that order didn't have any effect on him! We have to hit him with the carrot, then the stick! No, wait My carrot shouldn't have lost its effect yet.
Which means we need one more One more lash with the stick to complete our carrot and stick! But he's so far away I'm losing my will to fight It's no use I can no longer fight Toshi.
Toshi Toshi! Toshi! Vice-Chief! You guys! I can I can feel power surging through me! I see Carrot and stick isn't limited to the enemy.
Our plight was the stick.
And the comrades who are able to rise up out of this plight serve as the greatest carrot! Go! Uh, this might be a bad time to interrupt you all.
Uh, there was a mistake.
That person isn't Kohei Tanaka.
He's not a killer either.
He's Kahei Tanaka, a good citizen who helped catch a shoplifter.
He crashed into a store window when he caught the shoplifter, and hurt himself.
so we brought him to the station to get treatment, but there was a mix-up since his name was similar.
I'm really sorry about this.
I'll bring the real Kohei now.
Combine the carrot with the stick My katsudon is starting to spoil Mr.
Akimoto works so hard He was just a smiling nice person What the hell is this?! [Preview.]
Uh, Eli, was that how you always looked? Was that how you always were? The next episode "It's What's On The Inside That Counts.
" Plus another one.
[Preview.]
["It's What's On The Inside That Counts, But Only To A Certain Extent.
".]
[Two parts starring the GinTama mascots, Elizabeth and Sadaharu.
.]
[Why are the titles similar? You'll find out next week.
.]
[See you next time.
.]

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