Gintama (2005) s03e12 Episode Script

Definitely Do Not Let Your Girlfriend See the Things You Use for Cross-Dressing / There's Almost a 100% Chance You'll Forget Your Umbrella and Hate Yourself For It

[Today, there'll be two episodes again.
"OKAMA in love" and "Kagura and the umbrella.
".]
[Note: "Okama" means cross-dresser or drag queen in Japanese.
.]
[And "Katsura Enrichment Week" Part III, is going on.
You'll see more details after the show's ending song!.]
We're doing this to earn back payments on our rent, Gin-san.
It's not Gin-san.
I'm Pako right now.
Today, I forget all about the pride of being a man and the thing that hangs between my legs.
Hey, you two aren't smiling.
Smile! That's right.
Right now you guys are splendid butterflies dancing in the night.
This special dancing team You're a member of Kamaxile! [Note: A parody of Exile, a 14-member Japanese pop music band.
And "Kama," short for "okama" (drag queen).
.]
Hey! Dance better! You shut up! I'll kill you, Baldy! Hey, you, he's our customer! ["Definitely Do Not Let Your Girlfriend See The Things You Use For Cross-dressing".]
[GIRLY BOY CLUB.]
[PAYMENT.]
Here's the payment for both Pako and Pachie.
Thank you very much.
You were a mess, but thank you for helping us out when we were short on staff.
You can officially join KAMAXILE and be a real member if you'd like.
Shut up.
Who would wanna join your toad-ugly group?! Hey, that's so rude of you! Who's an ugly toad? We know we're beautiful, so stop being jealous, already! That's right! He's jealous of us! He's envious! Hey, you guys, it's too late to think positively after you look in the mirror.
What?! Good work today.
Ah, Agomi-san.
It's not Agomi.
My name is Azumi.
For some reason, she seems depressed.
She's been like that lately.
She's all right at work, but right after she finishes, she gets like that.
Ah, I guess all her energy goes right to her chin.
Maybe so.
Get home safe.
Have a nice night.
There's no scarier place than that.
That's true.
It's like "Scary Face Safari Park.
" Hey, wait! Agomi-san.
My name is Azumi.
I have something to ask you, Odd Jobs.
[RAMEN DAIGAKUIN.]
It was two weeks ago As usual, I stopped by my favorite ramen shop after work.
Here's your boiling stone bowl ramen special! Wow! It looks so yummy! Let's eat! It's hot!! Owwww! Are youall right? At that moment, I realized it.
That's right.
It was love at first sight! Hey! Are you listening to me?! I guess I'm lacking sleep.
I feel dizzy, Shinpachi-kun.
Don't worry.
I'm really dizzy, too, Gin-san.
I feel like I'm pregnant.
I feel like throwing up so bad, Gin-chan.
Don't worry.
I'm about to throw up, too, Kagura.
His name is Jurota.
He's a rookie host at Takamagahara, a well-known club in Kabukicho.
Takamagahara That's Kyoshiro-san's I'm just another hostess And he's a host That's right.
An innocent young girl like me is destined to play around.
I think I'm suffering from auditory hallucinations.
It sounded like he described himself as an innocent young girl, Shinpachi-kun.
Don't worry, he really did say "innocent girl," Gin-san.
Are you all right, Kagura? Kagura-chan.
I've never suffered so much over a passionate love affair before.
So I need your help! I'm really suffering.
It almost makes me want to die.
All right, here we go! Hey! Why are you going to kill me?! Well, you said you wanted to die, so I was going to help you on your journey.
I was going to be the travel agent for hell.
That's not what I meant! I want you to help lead me to love! I want you to put me on an international flight of love! That kind of international flight is impossible! [Note: Parody of Space Battleship Yamato.
.]
Even if you had a spaceship that can travel at warp speed, an old man's love would never reach that host! Who's the old man in love?! It's you! If I don't do something, I'll go crazy.
I feel like I'm going to turn into a love monster! Well, you already are a monster, I guess.
If you can't help me out, comfort me at least! No way! No, no! Healing the loneliness of an innocent old man isn't on the list of the Odd Job's job duties! Then what do you think I should do?! Gin-san I guess we have no choice.
[Three days later.]
We can try asking Kyoshiro.
Welcome to the host club, Takamagahara.
That's right.
I started working as a new host in a black suit under the name Agonosuke.
I locked away my true self deep in the bottom of my heart.
Of course, it was a painful choice.
I know It doesn't mean the distance between our hearts is getting any closer.
Hey, you look like you're down! A-go-mi! Huh? Is that so? You idiot! Really You showed your true colors so quickly after I called you by name.
Are you even trying, you bastard?! Hey, listen up.
We're gonna act like angry customers and pick a fight with Jurota.
You protect him from us.
Then the distance between your hearts will shrink.
Pako IIf I wasn't falling in love with him, I would fall in love with you guys.
Please don't! Hello, I'm Jurota, the person you requested.
It's nice to meet you.
Wow! You're so cute! So true! I'm going to fall for you! Hey, give us more services! Hey, waitmiss! We do get more, right?! Agomi-san, now is the time! You're using us as steppingstones to build up a trusting relationship with him! That smooth skin I want to eat it You messed up! We have no choice, Gin-san! Let's go to plan B! Well now, let's lighten the mood a bit.
Chug that! Well, but this is too Show us how cool you are! That's right.
The customer who forces a host to drink is a real troublemaker! Agomi, this is your chance!! Excuse me, Jurota-san let me have that drink.
Agonosuke-san Here we goAzumi I can do this! Men have courage! Women are lovable! But cross-dressers are the most passionate! Agonosuke-san! A-Are you all right?! I'm so relieved You saved me, Agonosuke-san.
Thanks for coming.
Well, all kinds of things were happening, but it was good for Agomi-san.
Sort of.
Wait.
Saigo-san.
Hey, Agonosuke, when you're free, can you clean up the locker room for your fellow hosts? Certainly.
[HOST LOCKER ROOM.]
What are you guys doing with him? Nothing really.
It's what Agomi wanted.
So we're just giving him a supportive push.
But you do know, right? In the end, Agomi's love won't ever be reciprocated.
Besides, he's an ordinary host, especially around them.
If you do something unnecessary, and it hurts him, what are you going to do? Don't tell me you think things will work out between them.
No need to worry.
It's like Agomi is more a young girl in love than a real girl right now.
Just looking at a man from a distance gives him a fantasy.
But men in the real world are always nasty.
And not only in the way they treat woman but also in their lifestyle, the way they smell, everything.
If Agomi finds out about their real lives, his fantasies will be crushed.
Then she'll realize that she has to move on for the sake of tomorrow.
Gin-san No! This is This is Jurota-kun's smell! Is this Jurota-kun's locker? Oh, yes! Oh, sweet! What's this? Nice smell! Oh, no! I'm going up! I'm rising to heaven! It's not like that! Well, see you later! Wow! Great! Agonosuke-san must be working really hard to clean up! A-Agonosuke-san That's right You found out And so I might as well It looks like Agomi-san quit the club after disgracing himself.
It ended up being his hopeless love.
Serious feelings sometimes have a cruel ending, you know.
But Agomi will move on for the sake of a new tomorrow.
Thanks for waiting! Oh, no! I didn't wait at all.
Well, let's go! Yeah, Azumi-san.
Gin-sanWhat'sthat? Well, you know He moved on for the sake of a new tomorrow with Jurota-kun.
What the?! It's raining today, too When rainy days come so often, it makes my heart gloomy as well.
Rainy day, rainy day, more rainy days It makes my brain moldy, too.
It was already like that.
How many days have we not seen the sun? It looks like mushrooms are growing on my crotch.
It was already like that.
There are no clients.
I don't feel like going out in the rain.
There's no money.
Sadaharu stinks and my feet stink, too, and so does Shinpachi.
What do you mean, "so does Shinpachi"? Don't compare me to your feet.
Why are you two being so negative? Cheer up! The rainy season will be over soon.
Then you can get as much sunlight as you want.
That's why I hate the rainy season.
I'm kind of dubious about the name "Tsuyu," anyway.
[Note: Tsuyu means rainy season.
.]
Just hearing to it makes me feel down.
Just listening to it makes me feel down.
It can't be helped because it's the rainy season.
Why don't we call it by a different name? Something with a more exhilarating tone.
How about "Happy Birthday To You?" [Note: Japanese pronounce "to you" like tsu-yu.
Tsuyu = rainy season.
.]
Isn't that a little long? [Note: Kagura refers to the day of a girl's menstrual period.
.]
It's too difficult to say.
I prefer "Girl's Day.
" No, that sounds like a different day.
That's even more difficult to say.
And it's not even an appropriate word for a show in this timeslot.
Then let's adopt the middle viewpoint and call it "Independence Day.
" Why is that the middle? From now on, call "Tsuyu" "Independence Day.
" Anywaywell "Independence Day" will be over soon, so let's cheer up! Man, I really hate "Tsuyu"! I don't feel like doing anything.
Huh? Aren't you going to use "Independence Day"? I felt a bit embarrassed saying that.
Huh? Shinpachi-kun, did you just say "Indepensomething"? What's that? No-No, I didn't I didn't say that! What's that?! Yeah, you just said it.
"Indepensomething.
" Isn't it popular right now? Is it something cool? I didn't say that! I don't even know what it is! You guys are too noisy! Stop annoying me and just shut up! Who do think is the most annoying person? You guys are just taking your stress out on me! Not really.
I don't take my stress out on you.
I'm not annoying at all, either.
Don't talk! I'm so annoyed listening to you guys talk! You're the one who shouldn't be talking! What's that? Those mini gongs on your head! There's something ugly on your head! Oh? Why do you wear only one sleeve of that robe?! Why don't you wear it properly?! Good grief! I give up! I don't care about you guys anymore! Shut up! Shut up, Four-eyes! Who you calling Four-eyes?! ["There's Almost a 100% Chance You'll Forget Your Umbrella and Hate Yourself For It".]
Why do I have to go out with you guys on such a rainy day? When we stay in the house and brood, we get depressed.
We should go out at such times.
And this isn't so bad, you know.
An Edokko should enjoy each season's highlights.
[Note: Edokko is a Japanese term referring to a person born and raised in Edo/Tokyo.
.]
For example, look! Here come some girls walking with umbrellas.
Aren't they pure and beautiful? We see girls with umbrellas all throughout the year.
And girls with wet see-through T-shirts are more Hey, what are you doing? Kagura-chan, you'll catch a cold.
It's broken.
Huh? My umbrella is broken.
Just leave me alone.
Women sometimes want to walk in the rain.
Hey.
Your head is what's broken! What's with her? Just leave her alone.
Brats like rain, storms, typhoons and all that kind of stuff.
By the way, we ran out of laundry detergent.
[OEDO STORE.]
Gin-chan, did you buy my pickled seaweed? Buy it yourself, brat.
Here.
I-I don't want it.
That umbrella is too flashy.
Who said it was for you? This is for me.
Just use that dirty one.
Wow, nice umbrella, Gin-san.
It looks cool and chic.
This is nice, isn't it? Even though it only costs 100 yen.
Hey, wait! That's weird.
It's weird if a man uses it! I can take it if you like.
That's all right.
It's all right if women walk in the rain.
It's raining again today Whenever it rains, Kagura-chan goes out.
She really is a girl at heart.
Humph.
Brats like rain, storms, typhoons, and all that kind of stuff.
That reminds me, the rain is supposed to get worse today.
I wonder if she'll be all right.
It's raining again today Kagura-chan is out today again? After all, she's a girl.
Brats like rain, storms, typhoons and all that kind of stuff.
By the way, the 7th typhoon is going to hit Edo.
I wonder if she'll be all right.
Kagura-chan.
What? The weather was really rough, so we were worried about you.
You're all drenched.
Are you all right? Kagura-chan, make sure you completely dry off with a towel, okay? All right.
Hey, young lady.
Young lady! You have such a cool umbrella.
Would you mind letting us under it? Because ours broke.
Boy, "Independence Day" makes me feel really gloomy.
That's why I hate it.
No, I think "Independence Day" isn't all that bad.
[ANTI-FOREIGNER FACTION EMPLOYMENT EXAM MAKEUP TEST.]
[Because my birthday will be next week.
-Kotaro.]
Then, here's the question.
In today's episode, I showed up four times.
[Note: Opening, Ending.
This part won't be counted.
.]
Which parts were those? You'll see the answer in next week's episode.
[Preview.]
Gintoki-sama, I have some vacation time.
But I have no idea what I should do during my vacation.
Well, days off mean not doing anything.
The next episode "Lucky Is a Man Who Gets Up and Goes to Work.
" [Next week, after a long absence, robot maid, Tama, appears.
.]
[The origin of the name "Tama" is from the egg-cracker.
Will you remember that?.]
[See you next time.
.]

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