Gintama (2005) s02e13 Episode Script

Even Mummy Hunters Sometimes Turn into Mummys

[Previously on GinTama.]
[After all that, the Benizakura Arc has come to an end.
Thank you for your hard work, DOES-san.
.]
[Note: "Shura," the song just played, is performed by the band DOES.]
[Starting from this episode, we'll be returning to the usual GinTama.
Viewers tune in and get ready.
.]
Katsura and Takasugi, eh? Katsura used to be an extremist, but now he's a moderate.
In fact, he keeps the easily agitated Anti-Foreigner Faction from running amuck.
It was only a matter of time before Katsura bumped heads with Takasugi and his more militant faction.
Both sides suffered huge losses.
There were over fifty dead and missing.
Nizo the Butcher's whereabouts are also unknown.
Both sides will be out of action for a while.
But I still don't get it.
Takasugi had Okada, Kawakami and other fierce fighters on his side, but Katsura didn't have anyone.
How in the world did he manage to hold his own against Takasugi's group? About that I have some interesting information.
It seems Katsura had a strange team of helpers.
They were a ridiculously strong silver-haired samurai and two strange kids.
Vice-Chief, do you think that might've been Him? Seems that guy was involved with the Ikedaya incident with Katsura, but he managed to get away.
Shall we check him out? Vice-Chief He's always seemed a little fishy.
You must've realized it, too.
If we investigate, we might find a few skeletons in his closet.
He never did anything to attract attention, so I let him be, but It might be time.
What if we find out he's involved with the Anti-Foreigner Faction? That should be obvious.
Whether he's a moderate or a radical, he's still our enemy.
Kill him.
["Even Mummy Hunters Sometimes Turn into Mummys".]
[Note: He's wearing a Seigaku uniform from Prince of Tennis.]
[Note: He's wearing a Hyotei uniform from Prince of Tennis.]
Wah! It's huge!! You're not there yet.
[Note: Ryoma's favorite phrase from Prince of Tennis.]
Kill him? The Vice-Chief's not being reasonable.
He already lost to that guy, so how am I supposed to beat him? What's he thinking? I need to do something or he'll yell at me, so maybe I should start by asking around.
Yamazaki-san, look out! Huh? The Odd jobs? Thunder Dome? Th-That's right.
If you know anything about them, can you please tell me? Oh! That's no good! You have to talk in Otsu language or I won't cooperate.
Intestine burst! If you've heard anything, I'd appreciate you letting me know.
Shimantogawa Cooking Academy.
Hmm The Odd Jobs is, how should I put it, someone I can rely on; someone who'll do anything.
But I have to pay him, of course.
Fatal blunt force trauma.
No, I wasn't asking about his work.
I want you to tell me a bit more about his private side.
Death Note.
About his private side? Hmm I don't really know.
Middle-aged [Note: The person in the corner is from Mobile Suit Gundam.
.]
Huh? Gintoki Sakata? Yes.
I'd like you to tell me anything you know about the Odd Jobs boss.
Oh, please have one.
Thanks.
That's considerate of you.
Yeah him Him, eh? He's, you know Frankly, he's still a Madao.
[Note: MA-DA-O is an acronym for "MAttaku DAme na Otoko" which means a totally hopeless man.]
Madao? You know, it has a lot of meanings, but in essence it means he's hopeless.
If you ask me though, I think he's got something going for him.
But if you ask the people around him, they'll say he loafs around, plays pachinko, and drinks.
The Odd Jobs boss does seem hopeless, but I don't think that's all there is to him.
I think I need to find out and ask the people who are closer to him.
Are you listening? Uh, yeah.
What sort of person is the boss of the Odd Jobs to you, Hasegawa-san? Well, let's see Someone you can't describe in a nutshell.
I see.
I understand.
Are you listening?! It's no use I can't understand him from what the people around him tell me.
Or rather, no one really understands him.
Butthe more I investigate, the more mysterious the Odd Jobs boss becomes.
I guess I'll have to see for myself, after all.
'Zaki-san, look out! Boss! Odd Jobs Boss! Huh? Not home? I'm letting myself in.
Huh? Boss? Boss.
Boss.
Are you in here? Not here? You.
What're you doing there? N-NoI'm Somehow, I sense we're alike.
Are you a thief? You said it.
You just said you're a thief.
How dare you! I'm a former thief! What's with the cocky attitude! Don't look at me with those condescending eyes! What're you getting angry at me for?! What's going on, Catherine? Oh, Otose-san.
Forgive me.
Is the boss in? Is the boss of the Odd Jobs in? This is for I'll take it! It's not for you! You said you wanted to see Gintoki? He got hurt or something and is recuperating at Shinpachi's place.
Recuperating? Shinpachi Shimura's home A broken down dojo It's a bother, but maybe I'll sneak in there tonight.
'Zaki-san! Look out! Not this time! Look Out! Runaway horse! Catch him! This is the place.
It's bigger than I expected.
But this is getting more suspicious.
Could those injuries have been from that incident? If so, then Kill him! Man, what does he want me to do? I don't feel safe I want to go home.
Who's there?! Do they know?! Oh, so it's you.
I thought you'd show up.
Holy cow.
The boss is good-he saw though everything.
Have you come to avenge your dead friends, Muscat? Huh? Muscat? Are you talking about Marilyn? Prieza! [Note: Spoof on Frieza from Dragonball.
.]
Dokaa.
Bishi-bashi-bishi.
Gufu.
Dooon! Gara-gara buri-buri ten, buri.
Buri-buri bushaa.
Gara-gara gara goshi-goshi.
She's reading JUMP out loud How tedious.
"Huh?" Goshi-goshi-goshi.
Ack.
"There's blood on you, again.
" Hey, I'm completely lost.
Give it to me-I'll read it myself.
No.
JUMP is too stimulating for someone who's injured.
I'll read it to you.
Then read it the right way, so I can understand what's going on.
I'll sneak underneath.
Okay.
Wait a minute.
Something for Gin-chan Ahem.
Manaka-dono, please turn off the light.
Ignoring Nishino's words, Manaka leapt atop her like a wild beast Never mind! That's enough! You're too young for this! I told you not to move around! Gin-san, how many times do I have to tell you before you understand? If you move again with those injuries, you'll die.
(I'll kill you.
) Sorry, but can I check into a hospital? I'm hearing things.
I thought I heard an ominous echoing voice say, "I'll kill you.
" Ah! No! No! Don't get me wrong, it's not you, it's me.
You mustn't.
If you checked into a hospital, you'd just sneak out.
If you're here, I can easily hunt you down.
There it is again! I thought I heard her say she'd hunt me down! Gin-san, you're not hearing things.
That was close! I was almost skewered.
But now I have a peephole.
Now I can see inside the room.
You must be getting hungry.
I made you something to eat.
I made rice gruel with egg.
But since you can't move, I'll have to feed you.
What kind of torture is this? What? A meal? Sis, let me feed him.
Sure, Kagura-chan, you can be his mother.
Here you go.
My eye!! Something's in my eye!! It burns!! My eyemy eye! It's some toxic substance! I'm positive! It's some kind of chemical weapon.
No doubt about it! They know I'm here! If I don't quickly get away I'll be killed I have some more over there.
I'll go get it.
I said, don't move! She's got to be kidding! I won't survive a recuperation like this! Get back here, you wavy-haired freak! Shin-chan, turn on "Fort mode"! All right.
You think you can escape?! This mansion has had numerous stalker attacks.
So to keep the bad guys out, we've been diligently adding protective armaments.
So now it's something of a fortress.
Not even a mouse can escape from this iron fortress! What happened to restoring the dojo? [Chome Chome Chome Koh! Eat it!.]
[Your Older Brother is Chome Chome Chome Chome Chome.]
[Your Father is Chome Chome.]
[Twelve songs including her debut single, "Your Mother is Chome Chome!".]
This is Tsu Terakado! Iodine solution! My first compilation album is now on sale! Jock itch! My producer, Tsunpo, loves how we keep selling the same sound.
Big Magnum.
Tsu Terakado's compilation album: "Forget Your Worldly Worries and Have Fun Today Necromancer" is on sale at last! If you don't buy it, I'll rip your mole off.
What?! Dammit! What's going on? How's it rigged to fall from above?! What's with this house?! There! Tsk.
He's good at running away.
Shin-chan! The SOL! It's time for the SOL! [Note: Spoof of SOL (Satellite in Orbital Laser-weapon) from the movie AKIRA.
.]
Okay, okay.
I should be safe out here Huh? Wh-Wha-What is that? It can't becould it?! [SOL 740 Stalker Punishing Laser.]
Shin-chan! Concentrate fire on that location! Okay.
That's it, Shin-chan! Send him back to the Stone Age! No, that'll destroy the house.
It's the Chief! It's all the fault of that fool's stupid daily behavior.
Otae-san, you missed something! If there's absolutely no way out, then the reverse of that means it becomes an impenetrable love nest for you and me! That's right.
That's what it means.
Think positive.
Think only positive thoughts, Isao.
If you think negative thoughts for even an instant, Isao, you'll end up just like the Baagen-Dash! So you were here, just as I thought! That voice! 'Zaki! That you, Yamazaki?! Of all people, the one who's like a death curse is the only one who can save me! Okay, I'll call Zaoriku-san for you.
I was kidding! Only kidding! I'm glad you weren't Zaraki-kun! I'm glad you were not Kenpachi-kun! Let's get out of here quickly! Uh-oh, my hands and feet are getting shakylike a newborn gorilla You mean like a newborn colt, Chief.
No, no! I wasn't mistaken.
I was referring to my mental state.
Every creature is a bit unsteady when it's first born! You're still unsteady even thirty years after you were born.
You're too soft.
Did you really think a trap like this was going to break my feelings for Gin-san? Did you, Otae-san? Looking at it from the flip side, this means you fear me, doesn't it? You think I'll take Gin-san away from you, don't you? That's it.
That's what it means.
Think positive.
Think only positive thoughts, Sachan.
If you think negative thoughts for even an instant, Sachan, you'll end up just like your glasses.
There's another idiot here! That voice is Gin-san's! He's come to rescue me! I'm so sorry I snuck in here so I could care for you, but I ended up like this.
Wrong guy, stupid! Does losing your glasses affect your hearing, too?! It is you, Gin-san! That sadistic touch is uniquely yours.
You can't fool me! What?! Were these pits specifically designed to catch obsessed freaks? Hey, Death Spell!! What're you doing?! If you don't hurry, this newborn gorilla is gonna be new-dead! Shut up! It is you, Gin-san! You're having fun by making me impatient, aren't you? Okay, I'll go along! You shut up, too! What?! You mean that Odd Jobs bastard is sleeping under the same roof as Otae-san?! What're you getting at? Remember the investigation! You sent me to investigate the Odd Jobs boss! Don't give me that! That'sI meannot fair! I've tried so many times to approach her, but I never get closer than a room full of bamboo stakes.
This is hopeless.
He's not listening at all.
What? You're losing heart just because of that? You're an embarrassment to stalkers.
What was that, bitch?! Hey, hey, it's beginning to sound like a stalkers' roundtable.
You should appreciate the fact that a person like her even exists.
Maybe you're lacking the masochistic feeling.
When I heard Gin-san had a kid, I was fine with it.
In fact, it turned me on.
You've been calling me a stalker all this time, but don't lump me together with you! I'm just persistent, insidious and clumsier at love than most.
That's all it is! That's a stalker.
That's funny.
You won't even admit you're a stalker.
I tell you, I am absolutely not a stalker! If anything, I'm a hunterof love.
That's enough, hunter.
This is no time for a confession.
Depending on the circumstances, I have orders to kill.
What should I do? Why not kill? Shall I do it for you? Go ahead and try.
You know what'll happen to you if you lay a hand on Gin-san, don't you? Hey, hey! Just a minute! Stop that, you two Good grief Why does this happen to me? Kill!! Gintoki! No you don't! Found you! Vice-Chief That man isn't a person someone like me can comprehend.
He seems to be a strange sort.
I can't tell if he's loved or despised.
He gets people caught up in his troubles, but people are attracted to him.
What? You haven't heard? Is he an Anti-Foreigner loyalist? WellI couldn't really tell.
But Excuse me Excuse me.
Is Gin-san here? Huh? You live here, right? I heard that Gin-san was here.
I couldn't open the gate, so I don't think you should go in there right now.
It's dangerous.
'Bye.
Then Can I at least leave a message? Tell hima lot has happened to me, but I'm fine now.
Tell himI'm truly grateful.
He probably doesn't even think about the Anti-Foreigner Faction's activities or politics like that.
I'm sure he just wanted to see that girl's smiling face.
That's how I feel.
Sagaru Yamazaki.
A composition?! What's this? I'm in worse shape than I was before.
[Preview.]
If samurai are dogs, then ninja are cats.
They'll cuddle up to anyone who has food.
There's no beauty or ugliness in the way we live.
The next episode "The Preview Section in JUMP is Always Unreliable.
" [Okuni the Clairvoyant possesses eyes that can see the future.
.]
[Former Oniwabanshu agent, Zenzo Hattori, now works part-time at a pizza joint.
.]

Previous EpisodeNext Episode