Gintama (2005) s01e08 Episode Script
There Is Butt a Fine Line Between Persistence and Stubbornness
[Hey! Main character, wake up! Feeling lazy today, jerk?!.]
[Start your own damn show if you're done with this one!.]
[An Urgent Special Program.]
The great city of Edo.
[Kabukicho 1st Street.]
Every night, people are drawn here in search of excitement and titillation, like moths to a flame.
[Karaoke House.]
Then [Shinsengumi.]
Third Squad, go around the back! Tenth Squad, follow me! Oh Katoken Samba! In Edo there is a special armed police force that serves the government.
They deal swiftly with rebellious elements that run wild in the city.
And with exclusionists who engage in shady activities in the underworld.
[Exclusionist Karaoke Contest [middle of room.]
.]
I'm a hopeless schmuck, but I'm still a person.
I gaze out the window, but I'm still by the channel This is a raid! We're the Shinsengumi! The Shinsengumi? You're with a television crew.
What's up with that?! And you've got some nerve, singing karaoke while plotting to overthrow the government! Arrest them all! Why you?! For the next 24 hours, our camera crew will cover the Shinsengumi and give you the true story of what it's like on patrol.
Give it up! You government dog! Close up! 24 Hours with the Shinsengumi Elite Police! It's no use trying to run.
[Shinsengumi First Squad Captain.]
[Sogo Okita.]
How boring.
[Why are the skies blue?.]
You bastard! Don't come near me! You'll never keep us down! You're an exclusionist.
Don't go prancing around with geisha! [Pink skies are cuter.
.]
Amazing! [Shinsengumi Vice Chief.]
[Toshiro Hijikata.]
[Shinsengumi Chief.]
[Isao Kondo.]
Huh? Where's Chief Kondo? Yeah, come to think of it Where did he go? He's a lot more refined than we are.
He said that he didn't want anything to do with a TV exposé.
Wow.
That's what I would have expected him to do! Right now, he's probably having a discussion with someone important in the government or cleaning his sword alone.
It's not gonna happen besides, my butt hair is too thick.
There's no way a girl would go out with me.
I'm no good.
That's not true.
You're just very manly! And that's attractive, isn't it? Then let me ask you this If your boyfriend's rear end looked like an afro with a part down the middle, what would you do? I would love him, butt afro and all.
What a goddess! She purifies unclean things, just like a Bodhisattva.
Buttbuttbuttbut will you marry me! ["There Is Butt a Fine Line Between Persistence and Stubbornness".]
[Kodokan Dojo.]
What?! Someone asked you to marry him?! Are you serious, Sis?! I'm serious.
Yesterday, out of the blue, a customer proposed.
So what did you say? Of course, I politely turned him down.
He sure took me by surprise! I can't believe how stubborn he got about it, too.
Otae! In the end, he was so annoying, I had to pop him in the schnoz and make a run for it.
R-Really? I'd like to meet a guy like that.
Otae! Otae! Marry me! I'm not the kind of man who takes "No" for an answer twice! My mom says women find more happiness in being loved than in loving someone! Hey! What are you doing up there so early in the morning?! You're bothering the neighbors.
Come down, you jackass! Relax, officer! I I may be a thief, but I only steal hearts, okay? Wipe that smug grin off your face! What a weak comeback! Get down here right now! Otae! Won't you just show your angelic face at least?! Otae! The Shinsengumi start their mornings early.
Training hard from early in the morning so they can jump into action at any time! Put some spirit into it! Anyone who skips out on morning training will commit seppuku! Early morning, huh? Early morning.
If the vice chief says it's early morning, it's early morning.
This ain't early.
Dimwit! As long as a man has spirit, he can do anything! This isn't spirit.
This is stubbornness in disguise.
Anyway, are you still playing badminton?! Come to think of it, I don't see Kondo today either Did he take a leave of absence? Don't lump him in with you! This is Kondo we're talking about.
He's probably training by himself.
Ahh.
That's just what you'd expect from Chief Kondo.
He really is something! I've fallen in love with him all over again.
You've got a strange admirer, Sis.
It really is a bother.
Now then, dinner will be Eggs?! Sis! Eggs again?! Don't be picky.
Eggs have nutritional value.
I'll cook! You just buy the groceries! Okay.
Phew.
Her fried eggs aren't fried eggs.
They're poor, innocent abused eggs.
That's right.
Oh well.
[Go out with me for a hump.
.]
"Go out with me for a hump?" What does that mean?! [I love you.
-Isao Kondo.]
Oh.
Otae.
I may not look it, but I'm an athlete.
I like tennis and scuba diving.
Glitter.
Do one at a time, you freak! The Shinsengumi have many different jobs.
Including directing traffic in the great city of Edo.
Hey, you there! Who gave you permission to change direction?! Don't run away! Anyone who runs is gonna get chopped! Now, now, Hijikata.
Don't get mad.
Just leave this to me.
I'm not leaving anything to you! Hijikata, you sure have a violent streak.
You should talk, Sogo! Don't try to pass it off on me! [Ran-Ran-Ran.]
That's the story, Gin.
What do you mean by that, you bastard? How many minutes have passed since the show started? I'm the main character, but it's taken so long to get to me.
Doesn't anyone have a problem with me not being in the show?! Eleven minutes, ten seconds.
This is Gin Tama, isn't it? Isn't it? Hey! Come on! Right?! Huh?! It would be a flop if it was just "Tama.
" What's the point in calling it Gin Tama if I'm not on screen?! Well, it seems like the title for today's show is: "Close up! 24 Hours with the Shinsengumi Elite Police!" What the hell?! I never heard about that! That's because you can't be bothered to get moving.
At this rate, the Shinsengumi are really going to be the stars of this anime.
Really?! Oh! Now that you mention it, we didn't play the Gin Tama theme music! This is bad.
This is Gin Tama! I'm the star! Aren't you glad that someone wants to marry her? He's got a sword in his belt, so that means he's important at least, right? This is your meal ticket, baby! Get yourself hitched before he discovers what you're really like! What's that supposed to mean?! At first, I thought he was going to give up, so I didn't give it much thought.
But he's shown up no matter where I went.
It hit me that he's not normal.
All right, thirty seconds left.
All right, the home stretch! Stop chewing, Kagura.
Chug it.
Please! I didn't being any cash! Are you two even listening?! What? You expect me to do something? If you want me to take a job, then show me the money.
Gin, you know you haven't paid me in, like two months.
I could sue you.
Can't pay you.
Even if we do go to court.
Come on.
If you don't find some motivation you're gonna lose your spot as star of the show.
Stalker-Pervert, where are ya?! Come out and get your ass handed to you! What did you say?! Bring it on if you can! He was really here.
Boy, you sure are stupid to pop up when someone calls for a stalker.
So you admit you're stalker? Everyone is a stalker in search of love.
Listen jerk! A little while ago I saw you getting all chummy with Otae.
Just what the hell is your relationship with her? I'm uncontrollably jealous! We're engaged.
I'm going to marry him in the fall.
Really? We're already lovers.
He's defiled me this way and that way and every other way.
So give up already.
Th-this and th-that? And other thing, too?! No, they haven't done the other thing yet.
Fine, Otae.
I don't care how skanky you are.
I accept you all the same.
Huh? Just like how you love me, hairy ass and all.
I don't love you! Hey, you wavy-silver-haired bastard! It doesn't matter if you're Otae's fiancé! I love Otae more than you ever can! I'm calling you out! Winner takes Otae! I shouldn't have made up such a pointless lie.
Indeed.
Seems to have just egged him on.
And that guy must be pretty strong.
Look how relaxed he is right before your duel.
Like he's faced certain death many times before.
Don't worry.
If Gin's in danger My umbrella will unleash hell on earth, Sis.
Try not to kill him.
Hey, four-eyes! Where'd he go?! Who are you calling "four-eyes"? He said he had to go to the can! That's awfully confident of him! Our reporting team has received information about an unruly drunk downtown.
We've headed to the scene! You idiot! Can't I drink during the day? [Voice changed to protect his privacy.
.]
Since when was it against the law?! Edo's protectors, the Shinsengumi have already arrived.
Arrived.
Arri Now?! They just got here?! Bleep! Bleep! Hey, you lush! There's no point in putting up a fight.
Surrender What?! Who're you calling a lush?! This doesn't even count as drinking.
Boy! Hijikata, can we kill him? Wait.
There are cameras.
Don't be so quick on the draw.
You bastard! You got puke on my pant leg.
What are you going to do about it? Hey, everyone, hold Hijikata back! You imbeciles! Let me go! I'm going to drag him around town and cut his head off! Vice chief, calm down! The cameras are still rolling! Don't film this.
What are they doing? Well, it looks like a duel! A duel? Oh? Don't see that much these days! Rice crackers and caramel candy.
How about a soda? Hey, is he ready yet?! He didn't run off, did he?! Dumbass.
I wouldn't run away from an opponent like you.
You came! You're late! Were you taking a dump?! Taking a dump wouldn't be very heroic.
I took some sugar.
[Sugar.]
Never heard of a hypoglycemic hero before! What a nice sunset.
Duels are best at sunset.
You've got some grace for a man with wavy silver hair.
And you speak pretty well for a gorilla.
I-I'm not a gorilla! I may look like one, but I'm not.
Whatever.
Shall we get started? Choose your weapons.
If you want to use a real sword, I'll lend you one.
Whatever you like.
This is good enough for me.
Let's do this.
Are you tryin' to make a fool out of me, butthead? Sorry, but I'm not noble enough to duel over someone else's life.
As a substitute, I'll wager my life instead.
I'm going to wager my life instead of Otae's.
Even if you win, you don't get Otae.
But I'll be out of your way You can court her or whatever you'd like afterwards.
Of course, if I win you'll keep your paws off her.
He's going to put himself in the path of a naked blade, and protect me even if he loses?! Wait! Stop right there! Gin! You sure are a man amongst men.
I think you're more popular with men than women.
Boy! Lend me your wooden sword! You're a good man, too.
Use this.
It's my favorite sword, Lake Toya.
Gin! Win or lose, we won't hold any grudges, right? You got it.
Now, let's have a fair fight, man to man.
Let's go! A fair duel! Huh? What?! Hold on a second! The blade! The t-t-tip! It's missiiinnggg! Suckersweeter than Tianjin roasted chestnuts.
I can't believe you'd accept a weapon from your enemy! When I went to the john, I scored it with a deep cut, so deep it would split just from being swung.
You bastard! You'd go that far?! Only a total dork would try to settle something so important like this.
Isn't it better to just mellow out and talk things through? This is mellowing out? Hey.
Wha'dya think of my brilliant plan? I've lost all faith in you! That's not samurai spirit! You feel satisfied now, cheater?! Coward! What are you saying! I defended your sister.
I'm going home! I never want to see your face again! I'm going on vacation for a while.
Everything ended well.
But it looks like Gin got the worst of it.
I feel like warmed over kitty litter.
What a klutz.
But, I'm starting to get you.
The Shinsengumi's vice chief, Toshiro Hijikata.
He quietly patrols the city by himself even after a rough job.
What could he be seeing right now? What's the fuss? Well, there was a duel over a woman.
A duel over a woman? How stupid! What idiot would Chief Kondo.
Chief Kondo? That's the Shinsengumi's chief Isao Kondo? You idiot! What are you filming?! Because of the work of the Shinsengumi, peace in Edo has been upheld.
Really? [The End.]
.]
[Close up! 24 hours with the Shinsengumi Elite Police!.]
Third year, class Z, Ginpachi-sensei! After these messages.
[Preview.]
Where's the guy that attacked Chief Kondo?! He may be a gorilla, but he's our leader! A silver-haired samurai? You're that guy! The next episode: "Fighting Should Be Done With Fists.
" [A battle begins for the Odd Jobs Trio! What happens next?!.]
[Do JUMP anime always have to have battles?.]
[Third year, Class Z.]
[Ginpachi-sensei.]
Third year, class Z! Ginpachi-sensei! [Third year, Class Z.]
Hey.
Close your textbooks for a moment.
Listen, Shimura's recorder has been stolen.
The thief may be in another class, but I'm lazy, so I'll just assign blame to someone here.
[MIND YOUR SUGAR LEVELS.]
Whoever stole it raise your hands.
It's okay to lie! If you do it now, Shimura and I will forgive you if you shove the recorder up your butt and play a chorus of "Please Give Me Wings.
" Sensei, we'd never grow wings if we did that.
Change the song to Match's hit song, "Settle It.
" All right.
Match's hit song, "Shy About My Butt Hair".
Sensei, I don't know how that song goes.
You just made up that song title.
Okay, someone lend me a recorder.
I'll play it.
[Chikuwa.]
Sensei, use mine.
It's broken and can only play the note "fa.
" Your head is what's broken.
Hey, I don't care who, somebody lend me your recorder.
A cute girl preferably.
No way! It'll end up tasting like cigarettes.
I told you, this isn't a cigarette.
It's a lollipop.
Smoke doesn't come out of lollipops.
That's because I've licked it so much.
Anyway, one of you girls, lend me your recorder! I'll lick and play it.
No way in hell! Cut it out, girls! Sensei is desperate to find the thief.
Sensei, use mine.
It's okay if it starts to smell like cigarettes.
I have two of them.
Why do you have two of them? Huh? Hold on a second.
Are you really going to do it? Ah! Sensei, can I go to the nurse's office? [The End.]
[Start your own damn show if you're done with this one!.]
[An Urgent Special Program.]
The great city of Edo.
[Kabukicho 1st Street.]
Every night, people are drawn here in search of excitement and titillation, like moths to a flame.
[Karaoke House.]
Then [Shinsengumi.]
Third Squad, go around the back! Tenth Squad, follow me! Oh Katoken Samba! In Edo there is a special armed police force that serves the government.
They deal swiftly with rebellious elements that run wild in the city.
And with exclusionists who engage in shady activities in the underworld.
[Exclusionist Karaoke Contest [middle of room.]
.]
I'm a hopeless schmuck, but I'm still a person.
I gaze out the window, but I'm still by the channel This is a raid! We're the Shinsengumi! The Shinsengumi? You're with a television crew.
What's up with that?! And you've got some nerve, singing karaoke while plotting to overthrow the government! Arrest them all! Why you?! For the next 24 hours, our camera crew will cover the Shinsengumi and give you the true story of what it's like on patrol.
Give it up! You government dog! Close up! 24 Hours with the Shinsengumi Elite Police! It's no use trying to run.
[Shinsengumi First Squad Captain.]
[Sogo Okita.]
How boring.
[Why are the skies blue?.]
You bastard! Don't come near me! You'll never keep us down! You're an exclusionist.
Don't go prancing around with geisha! [Pink skies are cuter.
.]
Amazing! [Shinsengumi Vice Chief.]
[Toshiro Hijikata.]
[Shinsengumi Chief.]
[Isao Kondo.]
Huh? Where's Chief Kondo? Yeah, come to think of it Where did he go? He's a lot more refined than we are.
He said that he didn't want anything to do with a TV exposé.
Wow.
That's what I would have expected him to do! Right now, he's probably having a discussion with someone important in the government or cleaning his sword alone.
It's not gonna happen besides, my butt hair is too thick.
There's no way a girl would go out with me.
I'm no good.
That's not true.
You're just very manly! And that's attractive, isn't it? Then let me ask you this If your boyfriend's rear end looked like an afro with a part down the middle, what would you do? I would love him, butt afro and all.
What a goddess! She purifies unclean things, just like a Bodhisattva.
Buttbuttbuttbut will you marry me! ["There Is Butt a Fine Line Between Persistence and Stubbornness".]
[Kodokan Dojo.]
What?! Someone asked you to marry him?! Are you serious, Sis?! I'm serious.
Yesterday, out of the blue, a customer proposed.
So what did you say? Of course, I politely turned him down.
He sure took me by surprise! I can't believe how stubborn he got about it, too.
Otae! In the end, he was so annoying, I had to pop him in the schnoz and make a run for it.
R-Really? I'd like to meet a guy like that.
Otae! Otae! Marry me! I'm not the kind of man who takes "No" for an answer twice! My mom says women find more happiness in being loved than in loving someone! Hey! What are you doing up there so early in the morning?! You're bothering the neighbors.
Come down, you jackass! Relax, officer! I I may be a thief, but I only steal hearts, okay? Wipe that smug grin off your face! What a weak comeback! Get down here right now! Otae! Won't you just show your angelic face at least?! Otae! The Shinsengumi start their mornings early.
Training hard from early in the morning so they can jump into action at any time! Put some spirit into it! Anyone who skips out on morning training will commit seppuku! Early morning, huh? Early morning.
If the vice chief says it's early morning, it's early morning.
This ain't early.
Dimwit! As long as a man has spirit, he can do anything! This isn't spirit.
This is stubbornness in disguise.
Anyway, are you still playing badminton?! Come to think of it, I don't see Kondo today either Did he take a leave of absence? Don't lump him in with you! This is Kondo we're talking about.
He's probably training by himself.
Ahh.
That's just what you'd expect from Chief Kondo.
He really is something! I've fallen in love with him all over again.
You've got a strange admirer, Sis.
It really is a bother.
Now then, dinner will be Eggs?! Sis! Eggs again?! Don't be picky.
Eggs have nutritional value.
I'll cook! You just buy the groceries! Okay.
Phew.
Her fried eggs aren't fried eggs.
They're poor, innocent abused eggs.
That's right.
Oh well.
[Go out with me for a hump.
.]
"Go out with me for a hump?" What does that mean?! [I love you.
-Isao Kondo.]
Oh.
Otae.
I may not look it, but I'm an athlete.
I like tennis and scuba diving.
Glitter.
Do one at a time, you freak! The Shinsengumi have many different jobs.
Including directing traffic in the great city of Edo.
Hey, you there! Who gave you permission to change direction?! Don't run away! Anyone who runs is gonna get chopped! Now, now, Hijikata.
Don't get mad.
Just leave this to me.
I'm not leaving anything to you! Hijikata, you sure have a violent streak.
You should talk, Sogo! Don't try to pass it off on me! [Ran-Ran-Ran.]
That's the story, Gin.
What do you mean by that, you bastard? How many minutes have passed since the show started? I'm the main character, but it's taken so long to get to me.
Doesn't anyone have a problem with me not being in the show?! Eleven minutes, ten seconds.
This is Gin Tama, isn't it? Isn't it? Hey! Come on! Right?! Huh?! It would be a flop if it was just "Tama.
" What's the point in calling it Gin Tama if I'm not on screen?! Well, it seems like the title for today's show is: "Close up! 24 Hours with the Shinsengumi Elite Police!" What the hell?! I never heard about that! That's because you can't be bothered to get moving.
At this rate, the Shinsengumi are really going to be the stars of this anime.
Really?! Oh! Now that you mention it, we didn't play the Gin Tama theme music! This is bad.
This is Gin Tama! I'm the star! Aren't you glad that someone wants to marry her? He's got a sword in his belt, so that means he's important at least, right? This is your meal ticket, baby! Get yourself hitched before he discovers what you're really like! What's that supposed to mean?! At first, I thought he was going to give up, so I didn't give it much thought.
But he's shown up no matter where I went.
It hit me that he's not normal.
All right, thirty seconds left.
All right, the home stretch! Stop chewing, Kagura.
Chug it.
Please! I didn't being any cash! Are you two even listening?! What? You expect me to do something? If you want me to take a job, then show me the money.
Gin, you know you haven't paid me in, like two months.
I could sue you.
Can't pay you.
Even if we do go to court.
Come on.
If you don't find some motivation you're gonna lose your spot as star of the show.
Stalker-Pervert, where are ya?! Come out and get your ass handed to you! What did you say?! Bring it on if you can! He was really here.
Boy, you sure are stupid to pop up when someone calls for a stalker.
So you admit you're stalker? Everyone is a stalker in search of love.
Listen jerk! A little while ago I saw you getting all chummy with Otae.
Just what the hell is your relationship with her? I'm uncontrollably jealous! We're engaged.
I'm going to marry him in the fall.
Really? We're already lovers.
He's defiled me this way and that way and every other way.
So give up already.
Th-this and th-that? And other thing, too?! No, they haven't done the other thing yet.
Fine, Otae.
I don't care how skanky you are.
I accept you all the same.
Huh? Just like how you love me, hairy ass and all.
I don't love you! Hey, you wavy-silver-haired bastard! It doesn't matter if you're Otae's fiancé! I love Otae more than you ever can! I'm calling you out! Winner takes Otae! I shouldn't have made up such a pointless lie.
Indeed.
Seems to have just egged him on.
And that guy must be pretty strong.
Look how relaxed he is right before your duel.
Like he's faced certain death many times before.
Don't worry.
If Gin's in danger My umbrella will unleash hell on earth, Sis.
Try not to kill him.
Hey, four-eyes! Where'd he go?! Who are you calling "four-eyes"? He said he had to go to the can! That's awfully confident of him! Our reporting team has received information about an unruly drunk downtown.
We've headed to the scene! You idiot! Can't I drink during the day? [Voice changed to protect his privacy.
.]
Since when was it against the law?! Edo's protectors, the Shinsengumi have already arrived.
Arrived.
Arri Now?! They just got here?! Bleep! Bleep! Hey, you lush! There's no point in putting up a fight.
Surrender What?! Who're you calling a lush?! This doesn't even count as drinking.
Boy! Hijikata, can we kill him? Wait.
There are cameras.
Don't be so quick on the draw.
You bastard! You got puke on my pant leg.
What are you going to do about it? Hey, everyone, hold Hijikata back! You imbeciles! Let me go! I'm going to drag him around town and cut his head off! Vice chief, calm down! The cameras are still rolling! Don't film this.
What are they doing? Well, it looks like a duel! A duel? Oh? Don't see that much these days! Rice crackers and caramel candy.
How about a soda? Hey, is he ready yet?! He didn't run off, did he?! Dumbass.
I wouldn't run away from an opponent like you.
You came! You're late! Were you taking a dump?! Taking a dump wouldn't be very heroic.
I took some sugar.
[Sugar.]
Never heard of a hypoglycemic hero before! What a nice sunset.
Duels are best at sunset.
You've got some grace for a man with wavy silver hair.
And you speak pretty well for a gorilla.
I-I'm not a gorilla! I may look like one, but I'm not.
Whatever.
Shall we get started? Choose your weapons.
If you want to use a real sword, I'll lend you one.
Whatever you like.
This is good enough for me.
Let's do this.
Are you tryin' to make a fool out of me, butthead? Sorry, but I'm not noble enough to duel over someone else's life.
As a substitute, I'll wager my life instead.
I'm going to wager my life instead of Otae's.
Even if you win, you don't get Otae.
But I'll be out of your way You can court her or whatever you'd like afterwards.
Of course, if I win you'll keep your paws off her.
He's going to put himself in the path of a naked blade, and protect me even if he loses?! Wait! Stop right there! Gin! You sure are a man amongst men.
I think you're more popular with men than women.
Boy! Lend me your wooden sword! You're a good man, too.
Use this.
It's my favorite sword, Lake Toya.
Gin! Win or lose, we won't hold any grudges, right? You got it.
Now, let's have a fair fight, man to man.
Let's go! A fair duel! Huh? What?! Hold on a second! The blade! The t-t-tip! It's missiiinnggg! Suckersweeter than Tianjin roasted chestnuts.
I can't believe you'd accept a weapon from your enemy! When I went to the john, I scored it with a deep cut, so deep it would split just from being swung.
You bastard! You'd go that far?! Only a total dork would try to settle something so important like this.
Isn't it better to just mellow out and talk things through? This is mellowing out? Hey.
Wha'dya think of my brilliant plan? I've lost all faith in you! That's not samurai spirit! You feel satisfied now, cheater?! Coward! What are you saying! I defended your sister.
I'm going home! I never want to see your face again! I'm going on vacation for a while.
Everything ended well.
But it looks like Gin got the worst of it.
I feel like warmed over kitty litter.
What a klutz.
But, I'm starting to get you.
The Shinsengumi's vice chief, Toshiro Hijikata.
He quietly patrols the city by himself even after a rough job.
What could he be seeing right now? What's the fuss? Well, there was a duel over a woman.
A duel over a woman? How stupid! What idiot would Chief Kondo.
Chief Kondo? That's the Shinsengumi's chief Isao Kondo? You idiot! What are you filming?! Because of the work of the Shinsengumi, peace in Edo has been upheld.
Really? [The End.]
.]
[Close up! 24 hours with the Shinsengumi Elite Police!.]
Third year, class Z, Ginpachi-sensei! After these messages.
[Preview.]
Where's the guy that attacked Chief Kondo?! He may be a gorilla, but he's our leader! A silver-haired samurai? You're that guy! The next episode: "Fighting Should Be Done With Fists.
" [A battle begins for the Odd Jobs Trio! What happens next?!.]
[Do JUMP anime always have to have battles?.]
[Third year, Class Z.]
[Ginpachi-sensei.]
Third year, class Z! Ginpachi-sensei! [Third year, Class Z.]
Hey.
Close your textbooks for a moment.
Listen, Shimura's recorder has been stolen.
The thief may be in another class, but I'm lazy, so I'll just assign blame to someone here.
[MIND YOUR SUGAR LEVELS.]
Whoever stole it raise your hands.
It's okay to lie! If you do it now, Shimura and I will forgive you if you shove the recorder up your butt and play a chorus of "Please Give Me Wings.
" Sensei, we'd never grow wings if we did that.
Change the song to Match's hit song, "Settle It.
" All right.
Match's hit song, "Shy About My Butt Hair".
Sensei, I don't know how that song goes.
You just made up that song title.
Okay, someone lend me a recorder.
I'll play it.
[Chikuwa.]
Sensei, use mine.
It's broken and can only play the note "fa.
" Your head is what's broken.
Hey, I don't care who, somebody lend me your recorder.
A cute girl preferably.
No way! It'll end up tasting like cigarettes.
I told you, this isn't a cigarette.
It's a lollipop.
Smoke doesn't come out of lollipops.
That's because I've licked it so much.
Anyway, one of you girls, lend me your recorder! I'll lick and play it.
No way in hell! Cut it out, girls! Sensei is desperate to find the thief.
Sensei, use mine.
It's okay if it starts to smell like cigarettes.
I have two of them.
Why do you have two of them? Huh? Hold on a second.
Are you really going to do it? Ah! Sensei, can I go to the nurse's office? [The End.]